003: Be Careful What You Wish For

The clockwork doll, a floral smile on her lips, watched Hayden with her verdant eyes.

There was nothing unnatural in her movements, no deliberate affectation of her robotic nature. It was as if she had captured the most radiant moments of a young girl's youth, a perfect, untainted snapshot of that wonderful atmosphere.

But, but...

Staring at the successfully activated doll, Hayden's newly sobered mind felt like it was short-circuiting.

One second, two seconds, three.

Then, he regained his composure.

Had a primal wishing spell, cast haphazardly while drunk, actually gifted him an AI?

Fantastic!—but Hayden wasn't a fool.

"Unit, formally log your designation."

He raised the platinum clockwork key towards the doll, issuing a command with his developer privileges to test the AI's state.

"Angela."

It was a name Hayden had read in an ancient mythological text, representing a powerful magical being that served others. More than that, for one being to name another was to define them, a powerful binding in ancient magic, the forging of a hierarchical relationship.

"Understood. I am Angela."

But the clockwork doll accepted the name without hesitation, either out of genuine obedience or because her AI didn't understand the significance of the act.

Her first response was good, at least. More tests were needed.

However, before Hayden could issue his next command, Angela smiled faintly.

"It seems this one's service has not yet met the Master's expectations. Is that so?" she preempted. "I understand completely. From this moment forth, this one shall endeavor to show her unwavering love. Please, Master, allow me to prove my worth."

Ah, this.

Such an open declaration of love left Hayden, who had never had a girlfriend, at a complete loss. Thinking back, those were his own drunken words, which made it all the more awkward.

"...Uh, fine."

But Hayden managed to keep the awkwardness from his face.

"Tidy up the workshop first."

He pointed to the various items that had been blown about and shattered by the out-of-control magic.

The easiest way to test an AI was to observe how it completed a task.

Hayden had, in fact, pre-installed the ability to cast housekeeping spells into this clockwork doll. These days, even if you didn't know magic, a little money could get you all sorts of housekeeping arcanum apps on your phone—vacuuming, rapid stain removal, multiple telekinetic hands... But not everyone could cast the spells well just by having the app. The internet was full of people complaining about how difficult housekeeping arcanum apps were to use.

By watching how well Angela used her housekeeping magic, Hayden could get a rough idea of her AI's quality.

"It shall be done, Master."

Angela immediately and cheerfully set to work.

She was only 158 centimeters tall, but due to her numerous internal components, she weighed a hefty 107 kilograms. Fortunately, the gravity control system Hayden had installed allowed her to move with the lightness of a feather. Angela took a few steps, pointed at the broken and overturned objects around the workshop, and began to wave her hands like the conductor of a symphony orchestra.

And then, something incredible happened.

A wind seemed to whip through the workshop, a breeze that breathed life and vitality into everything. Suddenly, the objects in the room leaped up, coming alive. They danced and hopped, hopped and skipped, each one returning to its original place. Shattered bottles grew hands and pieced each other back together; then grew feet and hopped onto the workshop shelves, arranging themselves neatly.

"Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho! Let's sing a happy song! Work together to the rhythm, and we'll be done in a jiffy!"

Even the dust and grime came to life, singing as they walked away from the corners of the room and off the old books, dancing in a line out of the room.

Before long, the areas torn and ripped by the chaotic magic were restored, and even all the dirt was gone, the place looking brand new.

This was clearly not the housekeeping magic Hayden had installed.

In fact, Hayden was dumbfounded.

He had wanted to observe how the AI would complete the task, but what the hell was this? The graphic was all wrong. Was she in the wrong movie?! This wasn't modern arcanum at all! It was some kind of housekeeping magic straight out of a children's cartoon!

But no matter how stunned he was, the animated objects continued to tidy themselves up. Finally, as the overturned table grew legs and righted itself, Hayden's workshop was reborn. The workbench stood in the center, with three tables against the three walls. The shelves above the tables were neatly arranged with various boxes, bottles, jars, and labeled containers, along with a few ancient paper books, scrolls, Norse runestones, and a couple of authentic clay tablets.

This workshop held everything Hayden had found related to his magical research over the past ten years. He had collected all the knowledge he could find, absorbing everything that was useful to him. With Hayden's lax nature, such a workshop could never have been this organized.

Yet Angela had now arranged it like the office of a prestigious university professor, ready for visitors at any moment. In other words, Angela's AI not only had the ability to cast bizarre magic but also had its own "taste." It hadn't simply restored the messy workshop.

What is going on with this AI?

"Your workshop is tidy now, Master."

Angela lowered her hands, which had been conducting the magic, and turned to look at Hayden with an inexplicably expectant expression.

"...Animation magic?" Hayden finally managed to ask.

Angela tilted her head, looking as if she had no idea what he was talking about.

"Alright, things are getting more interesting," Hayden said, rubbing his temples. "Next test. Go prepare something warm, soupy, and sweet for me."

The doll immediately turned and trotted enthusiastically towards the kitchen.

If her AI could so easily perform such an incredible feat of cleaning, then preparing food should be no problem for her. However, to Hayden's surprise, when he followed her into the kitchen, he found Angela standing there, staring blankly at the synth-food cooker on the counter, her eyes wide with astonishment.

"Forgive my ignorance, Master, but what is this strange contraption?"

She looked somewhat flustered.

This reaction is interesting. Is it because her AI was made with primal magic that she doesn't know how to use modern magical items?

Hayden pondered this as he explained to the doll, "See this three-by-eight grid of buttons? You just combine the buttons to choose what you want to eat. The first column is flavor, the second is texture, and the third is temperature. Easy enough to understand, right?"

"No, Master, it's not that I can't read the buttons."

But even after Hayden's explanation, Angela continued to stare at the synth-food cooker with a look of confusion.

Hayden's cooker was a cheap, outdated model, but it at least had a variety of flavor buttons. The first column had eight options from "sweet" to "spicy," the second had eight textures from "hard" to "soft," and the third had eight temperatures from "hot" to "cold." If you chose randomly, you'd get something resembling cold vomit, which was horrifying.

Yet even after the explanation, Angela hesitated, though for what reason, he couldn't tell. Finally, she followed his instructions and pressed three buttons. The synth-food cooker spat out a reddish, soupy, somewhat slimy substance into a stainless-steel bowl.

"See? No problem."

Hayden took a spoonful. It tasted the same as usual—terrible—but that was what most people ate these days.

However, Angela was staring at the contents of his bowl with a bizarre expression, as if looking at a monster.

"...This is a grave mistake," she said suddenly, a strange statement.

Hayden was the one who was confused now. "Huh?"

"It is said that one can only know honor and shame when one's basic needs for clothing and food are met. Food is not only sustenance for the body, but also nourishment for the soul. Master, you should not be eating this... This is a grave mistake."

Angela's words grew stranger and stranger. Why did this doll's AI know how to quote ancient texts? Was it because she was created by ancient magic?

Hayden could understand what she was saying, but reality was harsh. The poor of this era subsisted on high-sugar, high-fat synthetic foods, like artificial meat cultured from flatworms, vegetables made from algae, and synthetic eggs. High-end restaurants and food markets sold natural food, but at prices only the wealthy could afford. Hayden had spent most of his money on building his clockwork bride this past year and had very little left, so he had to be as frugal as possible with his diet.

So he decided not to argue with the doll any further. Her AI, though a bit strange, seemed to be functioning normally overall. Hayden had expected her to speak in stilted, broken phrases, but at least that wasn't a problem.

"I'm tired today. Go into standby mode. I'm going to sleep."

He was exhausted. Not only had he drunk too much, but casting the primal magic had drained his mana and even his life force. His head was pounding, feeling like it was about to explode.

No wonder people in the old days cast spells so rarely.

He gave Angela the standby command, then walked to his messy bed and was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

Perhaps because of the massive expenditure of magic, Hayden's sleep was not peaceful.

He hadn't dreamed in a long time. But strangely, sometimes in dreams, one is aware that one is dreaming, and this was one of those times.

He dreamed of his father, old, with a jaw like a shoehorn, a buzz cut, and a perpetual frown, crow's feet ringing his eyes. He dreamed of his mother, a bit round, a bit plump, her features only what you could call decent, but with a smile as bright as the sun.

They had been gone for almost ten years.

In Hayden's sophomore year of college, a new, previously unknown infectious disease had broken out in the American Federation. Its mortality rate wasn't particularly high, but it was extremely contagious and triggered a sort of allergic reaction, causing many infected to die of asphyxiation from swollen airways.

In theory, the Federation should have locked down the source of the outbreak as soon as it began. But if they had, the city's economy would have collapsed. And if panic ensued, even the national stock market would be affected.

But wouldn't that mean people would die?—Of course not!

First, the upper-class districts in major cities like New Atlas immediately activated their anti-epidemic magical wards. The wards acted like a giant immune system, seeking out the virus and zapping it out of existence.

But what about the areas that weren't upper-class? No problem! Several major corporations' medical divisions immediately released a miracle cure, guaranteed to work. The only problem was that it was a bit expensive.

Modern technology had conquered disease and death!

So the poor who couldn't afford the medicine had no choice but to die.

Hayden's parents weren't stupid. They had realized early on that the situation was bad, but what could they do? Their savings had been spent on Hayden's college education. He had been accepted into Evergreen State University, a prestigious school, and he couldn't just drop out.

So, if you couldn't afford the medicine and didn't want to get infected, you should wash your hands more, right? But the water company immediately raised its prices.

You want to hide at home and not go out? But if you don't go out to work, where will you get the money for food?

The company, of course, wouldn't give you money or send you food. After all, companies were in the business of making money, not charity. And they weren't responsible for how many people died of the disease. The common people should be grateful to them; without the companies, who would develop the miracle cure?

So, in the end, Hayden's parents died. Because they didn't have the right to be free from disease, because if they didn't go out to work, they would starve. They died of the disease, yes, but in reality, they died of poverty.

The only reason Hayden didn't die was because the academic district of New Atlas, where he was studying, also had an anti-epidemic ward. To put it bluntly, his parents' sacrifice had allowed him to survive.

He sometimes felt a little envious of characters in novels, games, and movies whose parents were killed by an enemy, because at least they had an enemy to take revenge on. But Hayden's parents hadn't been killed by any one person or group. He didn't even know who to blame. He just resolved from then on to never be a slave to those big corporations, and to never trust them.

The only people you could trust in this world were your family, and maybe a few true friends.

So, since then, Hayden had lived alone.

...Until today.

"The morning meal is prepared, Master. I trust you have rested well?"

Light fell on his skin, and a clear voice tickled his ear, making Hayden's eyes snap open.

Angela was watching him quietly with her verdant eyes.

"Master, after you get out of bed, please wash your face first."

Huh?

"When getting out of bed, please put your right foot..."

Perhaps misinterpreting Hayden's confused expression, Angela actually began to explain to him how to get out of bed.

Hayden immediately cut off her nonsense. "Why are you here? Didn't I tell you to go into standby mode?"

"I confirmed your eyeball movements with my sensors and saw that you had completed a full sleep cycle, so I took the liberty of waking you, hoping the timing was agreeable."

Angela beamed, answering cheerfully.

"After your great exertions last night, I presumed you would awaken with a keen appetite. Once you have brushed your teeth and washed your face, your meal awaits."

As she spoke, Hayden caught the scent of sweet food.

It was only at this moment that he began to realize that there was something not quite right with this clockwork bride's AI.

But he didn't think too much about it at the time.

He dragged his stiff body out of bed and dutifully brushed his teeth and washed his face. The furnishings and utensils in the bathroom were now as clean as if they were brand new, but after yesterday's experience, Hayden didn't find it strange.

It was only when he walked to the dining table that he truly saw what Angela had prepared for him for breakfast.

At first glance, it wasn't anything special. On the plate were golden scrambled eggs and crispy fried bacon, along with warm bread and butter. Next to it was a bowl of lettuce salad drizzled with dressing and a glass of warm milk.

Nothing special, right?

But as soon as Hayden took a sip of the milk, he immediately felt something was wrong. A jolt of energy shot through him like lightning, activating his tired central nervous system and awakening his body, which had been stiff just a second ago. Mana and life force surged into his cells, rapidly replenishing the energy he had expended on the primal magic last night.

The effect of this stuff wasn't as potent as the high-end liquor Hayden had drunk at the wedding yesterday.

But it was definitely not synthetic milk.

"Angela," he said, trying to keep his voice gentle. "Where did you get this milk?"

"While the Master slept, this one took the liberty of studying this arcane network known as the 'internet.' Through it, I learned the methods for procuring provisions and supplies. I have therefore spent the night... enhancing the culinary apparatus to better serve you!"

Angela began to chatter excitedly, looking very happy.

"Its workings are now more intricate, but this device will now allow me to prepare natural victuals for you with the utmost precision, down to their very molecular level!"

Hayden peeked into the kitchen. His synth-food cooker was gone, replaced by a clockwork device about the size of a refrigerator, composed of a huge mess of drive screws, conveyor belts, pulleys, gears, springs, and other clockwork parts, so complex that it made his eyes hurt just looking at it.

How on earth did she remodel the old cooker into this monstrosity? And how did she do it without waking me up?

"I have already procured some fine ingredients, and before the dawn, this one ventured to the sea to catch a fresh fish for the Master's midday meal. Rest assured, all detection-scanning magic were evaded. Would salmon please you for luncheon, Master?"

As Angela spoke, she pointed to the floor next to the new cooker. There lay what appeared to be a salmon, frozen in a huge block of ice. For some reason, it was still alive, staring blankly at the wall with its surprised fish eyes.

Hearing this, Hayden finally began to look Angela over from head to toe again. Her body and clothes were not wet, which wasn't surprising; she surely had a way to keep herself dry. But Hayden, as her creator, immediately noticed that the pulsating emerald aura on Angela's body had dimmed somewhat. She had expended a lot of energy.

I see. It's logical, reasonable, and very convincing. Now Hayden had only one question left:

"How did you pay for all this?"

Angela pointed to the coat rack by the door. The clothes Hayden had carelessly tossed there after returning from the wedding last night were now clean and neatly hung. In fact, the entire house had been cleaned by her.

"To complete the transaction, a token called a 'credit card' was required. I found such an item in the pocket of your coat. While significant purchases necessitated the Master's unique mana signature, our essences are intertwined, so I was able to provide the necessary imprint on your behalf."

She finished in a singing tone, looking at Hayden hopefully. Her watery eyes gazed at him like a cute puppy looking up at its owner.

As she said, according to the tradition of classical magic, a mage and certain things were sometimes metaphysically linked. For example, a mage and his familiar, or a mage and... his lifelong partner.

So Hayden picked up his phone and saw that his credit card had been charged 69,999 Federation Coins by Angela. The bill was a mess of miscellaneous mechanical parts and materials, as well as high-end fresh, natural ingredients.

For the record, Hayden's usual monthly food expenses were about two thousand Federation Coins.

So after looking at his phone, even with his usual laid-back attitude, he couldn't help but rub his temples.

"Is something amiss, Master? Does the meal displease you? This one senses your distress."

Angela immediately noticed Hayden's change in mood and leaned her head in with a worried look. Her facial expressions and movements were extraordinary, but that was all of Hayden's own making, so it wasn't a problem.

The things she had done for him, things she clearly shouldn't have been able to do, were far more intriguing.

Strange. What on earth is going on?

Hayden couldn't help but wonder: What the hell did I create?

Was this thing really an artificial intelligence? Would an AI really think to modify a food cooker on its own, purchase fresh, natural ingredients for its creator, and then max out its creator's credit card? Hayden had never heard of such a thing. The behavior of existing AIs was strictly limited by rules; it was impossible for them to act on their own initiative to this extent.

"...Angela, get me a Coke."

He said, testing her.

Angela, however, looked confused. "Does the Master refer to that... toxic chemical solution housed in the cooling pantry? For the sake of your well-being, this one must humbly refuse. Should you require it for an experiment, I implore you to wait until after you have dined, and allow me to prepare the proper safety measures."

To be honest, Hayden felt like he'd been stabbed in the back. Not only did she act on her own, ignore his previous standby command, but she could even directly disregard her master's request. What kind of AI was this?

"Angela,"

So, like any sane AI developer, he raised the platinum clockwork key towards the doll and gave the command.

"Enter sleep mode."

The doll tilted her head. Nothing else happened.

"...Shut down."

Same result.

Hayden began to feel that the situation was not good.

The shutdown command issued with developer privileges was ineffective, which meant Hayden now had no way to control this robot.

Use force? He was ashamed to admit it, but based on her performance so far, Hayden suspected this robot was stronger than him.

A failsafe? The clockwork key in his hand was the failsafe, and it was now clearly useless.

Call the police? First, the New Atlas police wouldn't care about something like this. Second, it would be too embarrassing. And besides, if the police and army really came and smashed this doll to pieces, wouldn't that also smash Hayden's seven years of savings?

After thinking it over, Hayden finally decided to play it by ear for now. Going along with this crazy AI for a bit probably wouldn't hurt.

After all, the toast under his nose smelled too damn good.

The bread was incredibly soft, with the warmth of being freshly baked and a faint sweetness. In the end, Hayden picked up the toast and took a bite. The authentic aroma of wheat immediately filled his mouth, a world away from the "bread" he usually ate, which was made of yeast, algae, and organic synthetics. One bite was all it took; he couldn't stop himself from taking a second.

"Delicious food is not only valuable for its nutrition, but it also provides spiritual healing. Filling one's stomach with delicious and nutritious food is a shortcut to happiness."

Angela said with a smile as she watched Hayden devour the breakfast she had made. Although the clockwork doll didn't need to eat, her expression looked just as happy as if she were eating it herself.

She might not be an AI at all. Maybe she was a demon pulled from the underworld by primal magic, or a Frankenstein-like monster... but to hell with it, whatever she was, her breakfast was too damn good.

Moreover, for Hayden to have such a breakfast, this robot had not only spent the night remodeling his cooker without waking him up, but had also flown who knows how far out to the deep sea to catch a fish. These days, the only places to find high-end natural ingredients were either the most dangerous wilderness areas or the meticulously cultivated farms of the elites. How much effort had she put into all this?

Making quick, decisive cuts was Hayden's creed. Since things had already come to this, he would just finish this meal first. Even a man on death row gets a last meal, right?

So he ate all the bread, bacon, salad, and scrambled eggs. The natural vegetables were fresh, large, and crisp, bursting with water with every bite. The bacon was simply fried, but because the ingredients were so good, the sizzling meaty aroma wafted into his nostrils, and the texture of each chew was comforting. The scrambled eggs had fully absorbed the flavor of the bacon that had rendered its fat in the pan before them, making Hayden fully appreciate that he was, indeed, a carnivore.

Before long, everything on the plate had disappeared into Hayden's stomach. The fatigue from casting the primal magic last night had vanished, and Hayden even felt his mana reserves completely filled, immersing him in a state of almost trance-like exhaustion.

Although he couldn't forget how extravagant this meal actually was, couldn't forget the massive credit card debt Angela had racked up in one night, he still couldn't help but sigh with satisfaction.

This crazy AI was right. Humans could easily feel happy just by filling their stomachs with delicious and nutritious food, even with a mountain of credit card debt hanging over their heads. It was a biological instinct.

"The Master's happiness brings this one the greatest joy."

Seeing Hayden's satisfaction, Angela's face bloomed with a happy smile.

"True happiness is founded upon a sound body, a clear mind, and a tranquil spirit. For the Master's sake, I will dedicate herself to preparing meals that will nourish your heart and fortify your health, always and forever."

This artificial idiot was both damned and adorable. If it weren't for the fact that she had maxed out his credit card, Hayden really didn't think he had anything to complain about.

"Show me how much I have to pay this month."

He said to his phone. The phone immediately buzzed and projected an image.

Hayden's credit card limit was seventy thousand Federation Coins.

The card now owed sixty-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine Federation Coins.

The minimum payment for this month was seven thousand Federation Coins.

In addition, he had water, energy, and internet bills to pay before the end of the month, which added up to over six hundred Federation Coins.

To make matters worse, there was another small problem: although Hayden's kennel was in a bad location and of poor quality, he had still taken out a bank loan to buy it—who could afford to buy a house outright? So Hayden also had to pay the bank over five thousand a month for his mortgage.

Clack, clack. After adding it all up, the phone app quickly told Hayden that he needed to scrape together over twelve thousand, seven hundred Federation Coins before the end of the month. The best-case scenario if he failed was that his water and internet would be cut off; the worst-case was that the bank would repossess his house and throw him out onto the street.

The app also helpfully informed Hayden that he currently had only nine hundred-some coins in cash in his account.

And it was now 9 a.m. on March 27th. There wasn't much time left before the end of the month.

"Alright, this is life."

Hayden put down his phone.

"Angela, since you maxed out my credit card, you're going to have to help me earn some money back."

——

Addendum: Federation Coins

The official currency of the American Federation. Although called that, it has long since ceased to be gold coins, and now even paper money is rare—unless for special transactions where one does not want to leave a digital trail.

Hundreds of years ago, coins actually minted from gold were the legal tender of the American Federation. Anyone could exchange paper money for an equivalent amount of gold coins at a bank at any time. But with economic development and the changing times, about a hundred years ago, the exchange between paper money and gold coins was gradually decoupled. Now, the so-called Federation Coins are either numbers on the internet or paper spat out by a printing press.

But people still trust their value, as if they were trusting real gold.