Chapter 13: PDA

“A Paladin can’t lie, right?”

George nodded, his expression serious.

“So if someone asks you where you’re from, besides staying awkwardly silent, your only option is to say you’re from the Holy Sanctuary. Won’t that completely blow our cover in about five seconds?” Gima reasoned, her tone full of feigned concern. “You can pretend to be a mute knight. For all our external communications, you can just rely on my cute little mouth to do all the necessary deceiving.”

Of course, this was just a brilliant pretext. What Gima really cared about was that it would be far more convenient for her to deceive him. It was a crucial first step in the complete and total tool-ification of Hero George.

George frowned slightly, considering her logic. “Although I cannot lie, my words are inherently more persuasive to others because of my vows.”

That must be a skill from his Paladin class, probably the first-level “Honest Abe” ability or something equally boring… Gima pressed her advantage.

“Then it’s even more perfect if we work together!” she chirped. “I’ll do all the lying. Then, at the most critical moments, you can say a few simple, truthful words to make them completely believe our story. Isn’t that a flawless plan?”

George thought about it. Something still felt vaguely off, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He nodded. “Alright. You’ll be in charge of all social interactions.”

“But,” he added sternly, “for certain key tactical decisions, you must listen to me.”

“And in battle, you must obey my commands without question.”

“Of course. I’m your humble slave, after all, Master George,” Gima replied with a saccharine-sweet smile.

“Gima, you’ll be free from that contract soon.”

That’s right, but the process will be far more entertaining than you could ever possibly imagine, Gima thought with a delighted inward smile.

George then took Gima to the training ground. He gave her a preliminary, and rather condescending, explanation of combat, revealed some of his own supernatural abilities (mostly boring, light-based ones), and then asked Gima to reveal hers as well.

“I’m just a little succubus who was born less than five days ago,” Gima said, fluttering her eyelashes. “It seems that my words and actions unconsciously lean towards the more… alluring side. Okay, fine, basically, I can attract men’s attention without even trying. It’s a curse, really.”

“Don’t blame yourself,” George comforted her, his voice full of pity. “It’s a natural, inherited instinct. It doesn’t mean anything about your character.”

By the time they left the training ground, the stars were blinking down at them from the dark sky.

The two of them walked quietly on the stone path. The only sound was the gentle chirping of crickets in the grass, which was bathed in the cold, pale moonlight. The tranquil atmosphere calmed Gima’s heart, and she gradually forgot the gnawing discomfort of her hunger.

The moonlight is so beautiful. If only I had a golden-haired beauty to accompany me… Gima glanced at George beside her. He looked relaxed, his eyes lazy as he admired the white church and the sprawling meadows under the moonlight.

Unfortunately, all I have is this dense, golden-haired idiot beside me, Gima sighed in her heart.

But then she thought about how her sworn enemy was, to this day, still a virgin, and was also plagued by crippling poverty. Her mood improved considerably.

Up ahead, a silver-robed woman passed by a courtyard gate. The moonlight fell on her, outlining her with a hazy, ethereal halo, making her aura even more holy, as if she had walked straight out of the moonlight itself. She turned her head, a practiced smile on her gentle face.

“What a coincidence, George. I was just praying with my sisters and came back very late. I just so happened to run into you.”

Hey, hey, with such a forced, transparently false explanation, any sane person would know you were lying in wait for him.

But George, the human lie-detector, heard the “truth” in her words and subconsciously believed her. He gave a polite, charming smile.

“Sister Jenna, good evening.”

“Um, that is, I heard you’re going into battle tomorrow, and I have something I want to give to you…” Jenna said, her hand nervously clutching something in the pocket of her silver robe.

“Alright, alright,” Gima said, raising her hands in a gesture of dramatic surrender. “I know when I’m a third wheel. I’ll see myself out.”

“Gima, what’s a third wheel?”

“Oh, I just remembered I left the soup boiling on the stove at home. Gotta go!”

“We didn’t make any soup at home. That’s a lie.”

“Anyway, I’m going back now!” Gima said, thoroughly annoyed. She just wanted to get away from this sickeningly sweet display of public affection as quickly as possible and hurried off.

“Gima has been acting so strangely today,” George said, wanting to chase after her and ask what was wrong.

“She’s probably just reached her rebellious phase,” Jenna said, gently pulling on George’s cloak to hold him back. “This is very important.”

“What is it?”

Jenna’s clear green eyes looked towards the large, ancient tree shrouded in the hazy moonlight nearby. She didn’t speak, but simply lowered her head, clasped her hands together, and walked towards the tree.

George followed behind her, a completely baffled look on his handsome face.

Jenna stopped, took the diamond-shaped amulet from her pocket, and handed it to George with both hands. She took a deep breath.

“Um… you can’t wear your ‘Challenger’ armor to Salem City. It’s too dangerous. This amulet can block one fatal blow, remove all disabilities and restraints, and completely heal you.”

“Thank you, Jenna,” George said, accepting the gift. “Also, your face seems a little red.”

Jenna almost lost her composure. She forced herself to remain calm and managed a radiant smile. “I think I was just singing hymns for too long. You know how tiring singing can be.”

It was a lie. George could hear it clearly. But based on his disastrous experience of exposing Gima’s lies earlier, he decided it was probably better not to expose a girl’s lies, for his own sanity.

George took the amulet, which was still warm from her body heat.

“Remember to keep it close to your heart,” Jenna said, her voice soft and full of meaning, “so it can feel your heartbeat.”

“Mm.”

…...

In the distance, Gima’s cute face peeked out from behind a wall, her golden eyes reflecting the picturesque scene of the young man and woman in the moonlight.

Earlier, Gima hadn’t gone far. She had encountered a dark, narrow alley and hesitated for a moment. Suddenly, she thought, It’s dark and quiet. A man and a woman alone together. Could they be about to… get it on in the wild? Full... outdoor style? She immediately turned back to peek.

Under the tree, the young man George placed the amulet inside his breastplate, right over his heart. Even from a distance, Gima could see the blissful, triumphant smile on Jenna’s face. She felt as if she were being brutally force-fed a giant mouthful of moonlight-flavored PDA.

“What a cliché, cheesy, insufferably boring romance. Third-rate, bargain-bin novels love this kind of flag-raising plot. I hope the death flag impales George as soon as possible,” Gima muttered to herself bitterly.

For some reason, George looked over in her direction from a distance and even gave her a little wave.

Gima quickly ducked her head back, leaning against the corner of the wall, her heart pounding.

A moment later, George’s footsteps approached.

“Gima?” George said with a smile. “Didn’t you have something urgent to attend to back home?”

“Oh, great knight, even you knew I was lying?”

“You’ve been acting strangely ever since you saw Jenna today. Is something wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m perfectly fine,” Gima replied in a long, drawn-out, and very unconvincing tone.

“If something is bothering you, you can tell me. I promise I’ll keep it a secret,” George said, ever the responsible guardian.

Should I tell you that I stole your woman’s first kiss, that she didn’t even care and just laughed at me? Oh, and that I have to sell my lewd service to you, the number one culprit of all my misery, just to survive and level up, and I was just force-fed a giant mouthful of your sickeningly sweet romance?

“Nothing. And since you already know I’m lying, that should tell you I don’t want to talk about it.”

George fell into a thoughtful silence. “After I was sent to the Holy Sanctuary as a boy, I met Jenna. We’re just good friends. We have a very deep friendship. I was very happy that she came to see me off today.”

Just good friends? Are you really this stupid? Is it possible for anyone to be this dense? Gima asked, “Are you sure you’re really just good friends? I bet her face was as red as a ripe apple just now.”

“She said it was from singing hymns for too long. Jenna has always been very diligent.”

“Are you really that stupid or are you just pretending to be? You actually believe that?” Gima asked, her hands on her hips in exasperation. “You don’t understand a woman’s little heart at all.”

“Huh? But she was telling the truth.”

“She’s…” Gima suddenly had a thought. If she were to break the thin ice between them and these two lovebirds actually got together, it would be even harder for her to steal Jenna away for her harem in the future. She swallowed the rest of her words and said with forced sincerity:

“…right. She has no reason to lie to you. Mm, you two are the best of friends. A truly beautiful, platonic friendship.”

George stopped walking and looked Gima up and down in the moonlight, a look of sudden realization on his face.

“Gima, don’t tell me you’re…”

“What? What is it?”

“Don’t be angry. I think I just figured out why you’re so unhappy. It’s better to be direct about these things. Please don’t be angry.”

He couldn’t possibly think I’m jealous, could he? Gima thought, her heart skipping a beat. She replayed her own behavior in her mind and, the more she thought about it, the more it looked exactly like she was a jealous, pouty girl.

“No! You’re definitely wrong! Absolutely, 100% wrong!” Gima said quickly, perhaps a little too quickly.

“Really? I haven’t even said what it is yet.”

“I can guess it with my tail!” Gima waved her hand dismissively, her expression deadly serious. “It’s definitely not what you think.”

“You’re right,” George said with a self-deprecating smile. “Gima has only been out of the egg for less than a week. How could she possibly be on her period already? Huh? Gima, why do you look so pale all of a sudden?”

“It’s nothing. Just… just assume I’m on my period, okay?”

“A woman’s mind is truly an indecipherable puzzle,” George said, hearing the blatant lie in her voice.

“Mmhmm.”

Gima, with an unhappy expression written all over her face, stomped ahead of George.

George stroked his chin, thinking about Gima’s various strange behaviors. The more he thought, the more it seemed like the legendary emotion known as jealousy.

Could it be that Gima has… fallen in love with me? The crazy conclusion startled him so much he almost tripped. He quickened his pace, intending to get home as quickly as possible and consult a book for answers.

George quickly overtook Gima.

Gima glanced at the dark, menacing alleys around them and wanted to call out to George to wait up, but her pride held her back. She could only break into a reluctant trot to keep up.

After returning to George’s house, Gima practically collapsed onto the dining table, not wanting to get up.

“Gima, sit properly. Back straight.”

“Don’t bother me. I just want to be a slug.”

Even as she said it, a sharp, stinging pain shot through her waist. It was the slave contract’s automatic punishment for disobeying her master.

Gima gritted her teeth, straightened her back, and sat up as prim and proper as a saintess. Only then did the stinging pain in her waist slowly fade.

When I’m awesome again, I swear I will pay this back a thousand times over, Gima vowed secretly.

“Gima is such a good girl when she wants to be,” George said, walking over. “Do you want to bathe first, or should I?”

Hearing the word “bathe,” Gima’s devious thoughts immediately became active again.

Bathing meant an opportunity to harvest lust. Lust meant leveling up faster. Leveling up faster meant she could stomp George under her foot sooner rather than later.

“You go first.”

As Gima spoke, her mind recalled various, glorious fan service scenes from the bathrooms of her past life. Against an isekai native with zero media literacy, it would be a piece of cake. She was instantly filled with a renewed sense of confidence.

“Then while you’re waiting, you should read some more. Memorize three pages. I’ll test you on them tomorrow.”

George pulled out a thick, intimidating volume from somewhere, one that brought terror to all who saw it and tears to all who heard of it. It was a frequent, unwelcome guest in Gima’s nightmares—The Sermon Guide.

Gima’s facial muscles twitched. She practically bit out the words:

“Fine. I’ll memorize it as quickly as I can.”

“Excellent! I’m so glad you’re so enthusiastic about your studies, Gima,” George praised her with a brilliant smile, then went to take his bath.

“Enthusiastic my ass,” Gima grumbled, flipping through the book. The dense, tiny text made her head ache.

She estimated that George would take about thirty to forty minutes to bathe. If she gave it her all, she could probably memorize the pages in about half an hour. That left ten precious minutes to sell her lewd servive and harvest some lust.

“I have to channel my high school study-for-exams spirit.” Gima began to read with a focus she had never before possessed in either of her lives.