Chapter 16: Something like this feels right, doesn't it?

“Geh-heh-heh-heh. A complete success, eh, Boss.”

“…Yeah. I didn’t think it’d go this smoothly.”

Dear Father, Mother,

This is your precious youngest daughter, Rishali, writing to you.

“Nii-sama, praise me.”

“Ah, Luri. You did well.”

Right now, I’m being exposed in front of a group of men, humiliated.

It’s the most disgraceful moment of my life.

“Welp.”

“Then, let’s celebrate the kidnapping of the princess—cheers!”

The moon had fully risen. It was deep into the night.

My dress had been taken. I’d been tied up in straw matting and gagged.

The bandits were throwing a drinking party on some unknown plain, using my half-naked body as entertainment.

“Damn, this meat hits different after a job well done.”

“Don’t be too loud. If the patrol catches us, we’re screwed.”

I was raised to believe meals should be eaten gracefully—sitting in a chair, using a knife and fork.

These bandits sat on the ground, tearing into skewered meat with their teeth, belching and farting without a care, laughing crudely as they ate.

“With this, we can finally achieve our long-cherished goal.”

“…Everything’s going without a hitch.”

“Didn’t think we’d nab her on the first shot. Thought we’d be waiting for a chance for a while.”

Ugh, I let my guard down… Never thought they’d sneak all the way into the royal palace.

What’s Paulik doing? What if something happened to me?

Don’t tell me he held a grudge against me…? Actually, yeah, he probably did.

“So, Boss, what’s next? Still got business in the capital?”

“…No, nothing left. We leave first thing in the morning.”

“Roger that.”

There might be more of them, but from what I saw, there were six bandits.

Five men and one girl. …The girl looked really young.

Among them, the tall man called “Boss” seemed to be the leader.

“The sooner we get out, the better. The horses are ready, right?”

“Not a hitch.”

…The boss had long hair and hawk-like sharp eyes.

He wore all black—definitely looked like someone from the underworld.

“…What are you glaring at, Princess?”

“Mmmph!?”

“I’m sensitive to gazes, you know. If you’ve got no business, stop looking over here.”

Since I had nothing else to do, I’d been observing the bandits. That’s when the boss spoke to me.

Unlike the others, who were happily gulping down wine, he wasn’t letting his guard down.

“Well of course I’d glare—you kidnapped me out of nowhere.”

“…Hmph. Blame your foolish king. Royal incompetence is the cause of all this.”

“I don’t think this girl knows anything, Boss.”

“Living in luxury, oblivious to everything—that in itself is a crime.”

“Well, yeah. That’s true.”

Judging from what I heard, these people really seem to hate the royal family.

Did Daddy the King mess something up again?

Even if you tell me ignorance is a sin, what am I supposed to do?

“Look at this princess, so peaceful. Oblivious to the people’s suffering, probably lived her life without a care!”

“Hey, don’t kill her. We need the princess alive, remember?”

“…Yeah, I know.”

Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like they plan to kill me.

I’ve heard that royalty and nobles often get released in exchange for ransom.

If I behave myself, I might make it out of this alive.

“As long as we don’t kill her, right?”

“Mmmgh!?”

“…Even a princess, once you strip off her clothes, she’s just a regular woman.”

Just as I started to feel relieved, a bearded man approached me with a sleazy grin.

A chill ran straight down my spine.

“Well, well… just like the rumors said—what a beautiful little princess.”

“Mmmph! Mmmph!”

“Come on, Boss, it’s a rare chance. No harm in having a little fun, right?”

“Mmmmmmph!!”

What the hell! What the hell!?

As long as a hostage’s alive, they can do whatever they want to me!?

Help me, Takeru! Come save me now! This is bad—my diplomatic value is about to plummet!

“…Was our objective to kidnap women and violate them?”

“W-What, we can’t?”

“Don’t forget—I didn’t become an outlaw to turn into a monster.”

“Tch. So uptight…”

Just as I was on the verge of panicking, the Boss glared at the creep and shut him down.

Looks like my chastity isn’t in immediate danger.

“But… just a little grope, maybe—”

“Enough. Is that what drove you to join my cause?”

“…Nah. Sorry, Boss.”

From what I’m hearing, these guys don’t seem like your typical ransom-hungry bandits. More like terrorists acting on some twisted ideology.

Maybe I should try asking why they kidnapped me. Depending on what it is, I might even be able to help—and that could get me out of here in one piece.

“Mmmph-mm-mm, mmm-mm-mmph?”

“…No idea what you’re saying.”

“Mmm-mm-mmph, mm-mm-mm.”

“Uh, Boss? What should we do?”

“Let her talk. Doesn’t matter if she screams—no one’s coming.”

Mumbling through my gag, I tried to open negotiations.

I wasn’t planning to run or scream for help anyway.

With my stamina, there’s no way I could escape these guys.

“Pwah… finally, I can talk again.”

“Nice to meet you, Princess. Sorry for the rough treatment.”

The sleazy guy from earlier grinned as he pulled the gag from my mouth.

His eyes still gleamed with lust—and a bit of mockery.

“No need to apologize. I was a little careless, that’s all.”

“Oh? You’re more composed than I expected.”

No point making a scene. That won’t improve the situation.

Instead, I should make the most of this chance to speak.

“Aren’t you gonna cry and scream for help?”

“You only removed my gag because you knew no one would come even if I did, right?”

“Heh. Got guts, huh? Just what I’d expect from a princess.”

“More importantly… I have a favor to ask.”

What’s done is done. I’ve been kidnapped.

All I can do now is wait for rescue.

So, for now…

“That meat… I’d like to try some, please!”

“…Huh?”

I’m starving. Might as well eat before negotiating.

And I’ve actually been curious about that cheap-looking peasant-style meat on a stick.

---

"Whoaaa, tough as a rock! …Dear me."

"Well yeah, I just grilled it without much care."

The bandit kindly offered me a skewer of meat, even though I was tied up.

I took a big bite, and yep—burnt and chewy.

"But this sauce is really good. Has a nice kick to it."

"It’s called Salvi sauce. Cheap stuff even broke commoners can make."

"It’s delicious. The texture of the tough meat actually works well with it."

Despite the burnt exterior and tough texture, the meat was surprisingly tasty.

The tangy, spicy sauce—kind of like chili sauce—matched the strong flavor and chewiness nicely.

"May I have another bite, please?"

"Man... you’re pretty bold for a hostage."

"And yet it’s you people who kidnapped a princess. Who’s really being bold here?"

"Can’t argue with that."

Hmm. Commoner food isn’t half bad.

The meat served at the palace is always stewed until it's melt-in-your-mouth tender, and that's good too, but this has a wild charm of its own.

"Hurry up and eat already. Holding it this whole time’s a pain."

"If it’s such a bother, could you untie my hands? My legs are still tied—I can’t run off or anything."

"What do you think, Boss?"

"Eh... sure, just while she’s eating."

When I gave them my best princess smile and politely asked, they actually untied my hands.

Phew, now I can finally eat like a human being.

"Then if you’ll excuse me, I’ll sit beside you."

"…Why are you sitting here?"

"No particular reason."

Still with my legs bound, I plopped down next to the Boss in a ladylike kneeling pose.

The Boss glanced at me like, are you serious right now?—but I paid him no mind.

I was hungry, after all.

munch munch munch munch

"…"

Sitting next to the Boss wasn’t random, though—it was calculated.

This was the guy who stepped in to stop things when I was nearly assaulted earlier.

Staying close to him seemed like the safest option.

BUURP "Ahh, I’m quite full now!"

"Oi oi, did the princess just burp?"

"Oh, and I’m quite parched. I’d like something to drink, if you don’t mind."

"Is this girl for real?"

Also sitting near the Boss was the group’s only girl.

She looked about my age—seemed like the quiet type—and was staring at me with a confused expression.

Maybe she was a scout or something? She was dressed in all black, light and agile-looking clothing.

"Pleased to meet you, miss! I’m Rishali!"

"Eh, ah… nice to meet you."

"May I ask your name?"

"Lu… Luri."

"Lovely to meet you, Luri-san!"

I exchanged greetings with the quiet girl, smiling cheerfully.

By placing myself between the strict Boss and the silent girl, I’d secured a safe spot for eating and drinking.

What incredible calm judgment and precision!

"Luri-san, could I trouble you for a drink?"

"…Wanna try some wine?"

"Yes, please~!"

When I asked the quiet girl sweetly, she let me have some of the wine she was carrying.

It had quite a strong smell and bitterness.

Okay, so the palace wine is definitely better.

"Fuuu~… Thank you very much."

"This wine’s kind of bitter, so maybe have it with some meat."

"Ooh, I see. I’ll let the Salvi sauce’s spiciness mask the flavor!"

By the way, this country doesn’t have any age restrictions for drinking wine.

The wine in this world is low in alcohol—probably around 1% or so.

gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp "Delicious! Another cup, please!"

"…You drink like a champ."

And since alcohol kills bacteria, it’s actually safer to drink than water in this world.

Wine has long been regarded not so much as alcohol, but more as “safe drinking water.”

Because of that history, even now—with magic tools for water purification widespread—wine remains a beloved beverage.

"Oh, that’s right. Since we have the chance, let’s make a toast. A proper toast."

Sharing wine and deepening bonds—that’s the foundation of good relations.

I flashed a sly smile and offered my glass to the scumbag who just earlier had looked like he was about to get rough with me.

He looked at me, clearly unsettled.

"This is a celebratory occasion, isn’t it?"

"We’re celebrating the success of kidnapping you!"

"Then I suppose I’m the guest of honor, am I not?"

"You most definitely are not!"

We chatted away casually and clinked glasses.

…Of course, this was all part of my plan to keep myself safe.

It’s easier to hit a stranger than someone you’ve spoken with, even more so if you’ve shared a drink.

"After all, how often do you get to make a toast with a princess~?"

"W-Well... what’s with this princess?"

"You said it yourself earlier, didn’t you? Even a princess is just a person once you strip away the titles."

After my toast with the man, I took a satisfied gulp of wine.

"Just like you all, I laugh when I’m happy, and I cry when I’m sad."

"..."

I gave him a sweet smile, and the bandit turned away awkwardly.

Yes, good. Feel the guilt. Let it fester.

"By the way, who was it that actually carried out the kidnapping? I heard a girl’s voice, so… was it you, Luri-chan?"

"...Mm, it was me."

"Brilliant execution! You were amazing, Luri. How did you pull it off?"

"Uh, um..."

Without hesitation, I started patting the top of Luri’s head like I was praising a child. It felt a bit off for me to be praising my own kidnapper, but... well.

They may be bandits, but they’re still people. If you can talk to someone, you can probably get along.

Even criminals might have a sliver of conscience left somewhere inside.

"Um, well… I pretended to be a noble, snuck in. I wore a dress, acted like I belonged, and slipped in at the end of another noble group’s line."

"Ahh, right. Invitations to social events are sent per household, after all. So that’s how you snuck in… You’re so small, but you really pulled it off. Well done, Luri-chan!"

I may not have any particular talents, but I’ve survived high society all this time as a princess.

With the social skills I’ve honed up to now, I’ll get through this crisis just fine!

"…Hey, Princess."

"Yes, Boss?"

"You’re awfully blunt for someone of your status… How have you avoided rumors until now?"

While I was walking around making toasts with the bandits like a party guest—clink clink—the boss watched me with a puzzled expression and finally spoke up.

"Burping in public and all… Is that really allowed for a princess?"

"Of course not! I hold it in during formal events!"

"…So, what about now?"

Perfect. I’d wanted to build a better rapport with the boss too.

If I could get on his good side, my little kidnapping adventure would become a lot more comfortable.

"Wouldn’t a vibe like this suit you all better………………?"

With that, I flashed the boss my radiant Princess Smile.

Come on, take that—my ultimate weapon, the flawless Royal Smile.

"H-Huh… you’re more reasonable than I expected, Princess."

"I imagined someone way more stuck-up."

"You’re… interesting."

Looks like I’d already made a decent impression with the ones I toasted with.

Behold! This is the power of my finely honed social skills!

"Boss, now that I look closely, you’re quite the handsome man, aren’t you? Your hair’s so shiny and well-kept too."

"..."

"What do you say? Care to chat for a bit—"

Understanding both men's and women's hearts is my greatest weapon.

Now then, time to get the truth out of this Boss guy!

"Silence that girl, now!!"

"!!?"

Just as I smiled and raised my glass toward him, the Boss scowled and seized me.

Huh!? What the—!?

"Never untie her gag again! Tie her hands back up, too!"

"Mmmph! Mmmph!"

"H-Hey, what’s the matter, Boss? Why the sudden outburst?"

Without another word, the Boss bound me up tightly again, restricting all movement.

Why!? What did I do!? WHYYYYYY!?

"Wake up! This girl is royalty! What are you fools getting soft for?"

"Eh—uh—well—"

"We were this close to falling into her trap!"

The Boss glared down at me with fury blazing in his eyes.

...Trap? What trap?

"Normally, someone you abduct wouldn't be all friendly with you. She tried to sneak into our hearts and manipulate us from within."

"…Huh? N-No way, really?"

"Don’t tell me any of you actually started trusting her. Before you even think about untying her gag again, remember just how much you hate the royal family."

...No no no, wait. I was just trying to be treated politely.

It’s not like I was trying to manipulate anyone or anything...

"Luri, there was no need to tell her how you infiltrated us. Don’t go spilling secrets again."

"Ah, ugh… I almost got tricked. I’m sorry."

With just one command from the Boss, the looks the bandits gave me changed—now full of fear.

N-No, wait, it’s not like that—

"...So much for the meek, harmless little princess. She’s a total schemer."

"Damn… she’s terrifying."

"From now on, no one interacts with her without permission. …She’s too dangerous."

And so, my grand plan to Befriend the Bandits has utterly backfired, and now the Boss sees me as a threat.

I now had an invisible “DANGER: DO NOT TOUCH” sign stuck on my face, and all I could do was mumble helplessly through my gag again.

…Damn it. I really wanted to eat more of that meat.