Chapter 16: If You Hijack an Airhead's Brainwaves, You Can Reach a Happy Ending at Lightning Speed

After making up with Rio-chan—well, sort of—we’ve gotten way closer.

It’s like that saying, “Rain hardens the ground.” Now, we’re at the point where we can call each other “Tsubasa-chan” and “Rio-chan”!

Looking back, maybe it was necessary to drift apart for a bit in order to really become close with Rio-chan. That’s how I feel now!

In the end, I still don’t know exactly why Rio-chan was mad, but after hearing what Futaba-san had to say, I kind of got the gist of it.

──It was because I’d built a wall between me and Rio-chan.

I was too shy to call her by name, barely talked, and ended up making her feel insecure.

It wasn’t until we grew distant that I finally shared in the loneliness she must’ve felt. I kept wondering how she was doing, what she thought of me, and I just couldn’t settle down.

……Once I realized I’d made Rio-chan feel that way for so long, it really hit me. I felt awful. I wanted to say, “I’m sorry,” and that gave me the push I needed to finally start calling her by name.

So yeah, maybe it’s just hindsight, but because we felt the same way, I think we became true best friends.

Thanks to that, every day feels fun now!

Every day I spend with Rio-chan is a joy!

Let’s keep this up, okay, Rio-chan!!

After school, during twilight, just the two of us on the rooftop.

It’s our usual spot, but lately I can’t stop feeling excited every day.

──Because, I’ve been able to drift into mysterious daydreams again!

With Rio-chan back by my side, I feel at ease. And when I’m at ease, my head overflows with mysterious—no, delightful delusions!

Right now, I’m rapidly climbing the ranks as a Mysterious Girl in real time. Honestly, I might be the most radiant, unstoppable Mysterious Girl in the whole world!

“...At night, time stops.”

“You mean that thing you mentioned before, about how at night, everyone’s already dead?”

“Yeah.”

So once again, I’m sharing one of my wild theories with Rio-chan.

There’s just too much inside me to keep it all in. And because Rio-chan always listens so seriously, I want to give her fantasies she’ll think are wonderful!

…She’s listening intently, so she’s not annoyed or anything, right?

“Vampires, jiangshi, ghosts. They only show themselves at night.”

“Um, because they’re not alive, they can only appear at night?”

“Right… It’s not that the sun is their weakness. It’s that the passage of time itself is what leads to their end.”

For a second I felt unsure, but Rio-chan didn’t look the least bit bothered. So I figured it was okay to keep going, even if my words came out a little clumsily.

…I’ll listen to Rio-chan’s story after this, okay? Sorry in advance.

“You once said the sun is passion—that we live by burning it.”

“Mhm. The reason you can only live at night is because you’re already dead. You don’t get reborn in the morning.”

“…So, because you can’t be reborn at dawn, you disappear?”

“Only appearing at night… that’s what it means.”

This is basically the inverse of what I said before, about the sun being passion and the source of life.

It’s a fantasy where the night is a world without life, where everything is vague and formless.

A story about the night—a world that, in a way, is eternal.

…There’s something cool about that, don’t you think? Something you can’t help but admire?

“If you don’t want to die, you should wake up at night.──That way, you can find eternity.”

You awaken only at night, and while the sun is up, you sleep like the dead. That way, just like the legendary vampires, you might be ageless and immortal.

When I woke up at night, the world was so quiet—it was almost frightening, how clear and still everything felt.

That’s why I started thinking up this kind of theory.

Because it felt like time itself had completely stopped.

Just going to the bathroom in the middle of the night is enough to spark this kind of fantasy—I'm seriously on top of my game right now!

“Don’t you want to do that, Tsubasa-chan?”

“Hm.”

“…Why not?”

An eternal world, where you never age.

Rio-chan asked the most natural question—wouldn’t you want to live in a world like that, if it existed?

Yeah, I get it. That’s the obvious thought.

But I don’t want the world of night.

It’s not that I have some kind of philosophy like “I don’t want to live forever” or “things are beautiful because they end.”

It’s just… I have one very real, very personal reason.

“──Because… it’s a lonely world.”

──That’s right. When I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I get so startled by the tiniest thing that I almost pee myself.

Honestly, seriously—I just really don’t want to walk down a pitch-black hallway to the toilet at night.

I’m just not cut out to live in the world of night. No matter how you look at it.

“…I see.”

Rio-chan lowered her gaze at my answer.

She stayed like that for a bit, like she was thinking something over.

I wonder… maybe Rio-chan does want to live in the world of night? Is that the kind of thing she thinks about?

I mean, yeah. The idea of never aging or staying young forever—there’s definitely something a little appealing about it.

“…Um, hey, Tsubasa-chan.”

Rio-chan raised her head.

She looked kind of nervous.

…Wait, did she finally realize how scary it is to go to the toilet at night?

She gripped the fence on the rooftop and looked down at the schoolyard below. So… probably not about the toilet.

Then… what is it?

As I quietly waited, watching Rio-chan closely, she finally let the words slip from her lips…

“──Isn’t it exhausting, putting in so much effort every day?”

It wasn’t something I ever expected to hear.

Putting in… effort? Me?

…Is she talking about my Mysterious Girl activities?

If so, then nooo problem at all!

I only do the Mysterious Girl stuff because it’s fun—not because I’m trying hard or anything!

“I’m not tired. ──Thanks to you, Rio.”

Lately, I feel more sparkle when I’m not alone.

I feel way more mysterious than when I’m by myself!

So really, Rio-chan… thank you.

Filled with gratitude, I opened my mouth to speak.

“Thank… you. ──Rio, I love you.”

When I said “thank you, as always!” somehow, just today, my mouth wasn’t in rebellious mode at all. Actually, it was so honest that I ended up blurting out something I totally hadn’t meant to say.

Wait, what did I just say!?

Did my mouth seriously blurt out I like you!?

"...Tsubasa-chan."

Okay, sure, that's not wrong, but it's not what I meant!

I meant it like, as a friend!!

Not like, let’s be lovers or anything like that!!!

So please, Rio-chan, don’t look at me like that, eyes all wide and round, holding your breath!

I wasn’t confessing or anything!!

I want to say that, but the mouth that was flapping away just a second ago won’t budge.

You useless thing! My totally useless mouth!

Keeping quiet doesn’t make you mysterious, okay!? You’re just a freaking screw-up, you stupid useless mistake-mouth!!

"...Well, see you."

In the end, the only thing I could do was run away in sheer embarrassment.

If I had to force a reason—yeah! Just remember this moment or whatever!

Ah, no—actually, forget it!!

By tomorrow, please forget everything, okay, Rio-chan!?

"Rio... see you tomorrow."

In a rush, I bolted out of there.

Dash-dash-dash, not even glancing to the side.

Worrying the whole time whether my face was burning red.

Listen, Rio-chan—I'm not a lesbian, okay? I didn’t approach you because I’m after your body or anything like that.

So, please—don’t get the wrong idea!

It’s not like I have any shady intentions, seriously!!

Please believe me—you have to, okay!!!

---

"Rio... see you tomorrow."

That’s all she said before quietly walking off the rooftop—tote tote—with those light steps of hers. Normally, I’d look at her retreating figure and think, Ah, she’s just embarrassed, or She’s so cute.

But today, my chest felt uneasy, and before I knew it, I almost called out for her to wait.

—It just felt, somehow, like Tsubasa-chan might vanish.

『──You give it your all every day… Don’t you get tired?』

『I don’t. ——Because of you, Rio.』

Lately, I’d been thinking about it constantly.

Why does Tsubasa-chan want to climb the angel’s stairway—why would she even think about wanting to die?

I wondered if something painful had happened.

I thought maybe there was something in her life she just couldn’t accept.

—Or maybe, just maybe, she’s actually an angel, and she just happened to be here on Earth for a little while.

The more I thought about it, the more it led to a dead end, and I never found any answers. Not understanding her made me increasingly anxious.

I didn’t know what to do. My heart was full of a feeling like, What should I do? What can I do?

...That’s why, today, I was a little relieved to understand her just a bit more.

It was when I asked her, in the middle of the night, Why don’t you want to live forever?

I already knew she didn’t wish for eternity—after all, she said she wanted to climb the angel’s stairway.

But the reason—why she didn’t want eternity—wasn’t what I expected.

『──Because it’s a lonely world.』

If she were to live forever, she said she’d eventually end up all alone. That’s what scared her.

For the first time, she let me glimpse what was beneath the surface.

And even though that should’ve made me happy... it scared me.

—Because what was beneath the surface wasn’t sadness.

She always had that blank expression, surrounded by a mysterious air, standing there in the sunset—this girl who was trying to become an angel.

That’s how I saw Tsubasa-chan. Being the most important person to that girl—it made me feel so proud.

She was someone special like that.

We even promised to take a journey to the skies together.

I thought we were close because our feelings were the same.

But I realized just now… that wasn’t it. And that scared me.

Tsubasa-chan isn’t trying to die because she’s hurting.

She’s living to the fullest, burning through all her passion—and then, when she’s finally light enough, she wants to become an angel. That’s what I finally understood.

The way she talked about the night today...

When paired with what she said the other day about sunlight, I finally began to grasp her worldview.

She said that the world at night is dead—that time has stopped. If you could live only in the night, then you’d have eternity.

...And she also said she didn’t want eternity.

She doesn’t want the world of night—unchanging, forever frozen in time. That was her answer. And the other day, she also said:

『...Even if you're reborn, if your memories carry over—when there’s no disconnect, that’s what growth means.』

At that point, the truth became impossible to ignore.

—In other words, Tsubasa-chan even sees death as a kind of growth.

She believes there’s a world beyond death, and she’s trying to fly far, far away into it.

She just wants to grow—so desperately.

She’s nothing like me... not at all.

Because of my misunderstanding, I became obsessed with her.

I thought we shared the same feeling—something dark and backward-facing, like wanting to die because it’s too painful. But that feeling never even existed inside her in the first place.

...If you asked me if that hurt, well—yeah, a little.

There was something that pricked at my chest.

But more than anything...

『Thank you. ——Rio, I love you.』

What Tsubasa-chan said to me just now—those words weren’t some kind of misunderstanding.

Tsubasa-chan does love me.

That, at least, she made perfectly clear.

It was real. I could believe it.

That’s why—even though my chest felt like a mess inside, I was able to keep a calm face on the outside.

"...I love you too. I love you so much, Tsubasa-chan."

That’s why I want to be with you forever.

I don’t want you to grow or change—I want you to stay just the way you are, for all eternity.

—Don’t die.

—No, I won’t let you die.

I’m sorry, Tsubasa-chan.

Looks like… I won’t be able to keep our promise after all.