Chapter 8: Mismatched Wireless Signals

K-Kishine-san… started calling me by my first name.

She said “Tsubasa-chan” with that sunny, sunset-colored smile. But… I don’t hate it. Actually, it kind of feels like she shot an arrow straight through me—in a good way.

Ehehe… it’s kinda ticklish, y’know?

"Good morning—Tsubasa-chan."

"G-Good mor… ning, Kishine."

Even this morning, she called me “Tsubasa-chan” instead of Shirogane-san. It’s been about a week since she started, but it still makes me feel all fluttery inside every time.

"…So… calling me Rio is no good?"

"Mhm."

She seems kind of bothered that I’m not calling her by her first name yet.

…Someday, I will. So could you wait just a little longer?

Saying someone’s given name… it’s embarrassing. But I think once we get a little closer, it’ll come naturally.

Maybe I should start by whispering it in my head—get some practice in?

U-Um… Rio-chan… N-nope, that’s not happening!?

Just saying it in my head made my heart race!

I’ve never called another girl by her first name before—not even in a past life—so for me, this feels like a pretty advanced challenge.

So yeah, I’ll stick with “Kishine-san” for now, if that’s okay!

Before I knew it, school was over.

And as usual, the two of us were standing on the rooftop.

"…Hey, Tsubasa-chan. Why did you want to climb the angel’s staircase?"

The wind blew hard from time to time as she brought it up. Kishine-san’s definitely a full-fledged member of the Mysterious Research Society now (two members, still unofficial).

Thanks to that, I could dive right into my mystery mode.

"…Kishine, do you know what’s on the other side of the sky?"

"Uhh… space, right?"

I shook my head.

That’s not what I meant.

"It’s not?"

"Nope."

At least… not when the angel’s staircase is there.

"Beyond the staircase—past that leaking light—is something else."

Sure, outer space stretches beyond the sky. That’s the common answer.

But that’s just the regular sky.

The staircase peeking through the clouds—it’s connected to somewhere different.

I don’t know if it’s heaven, or something else entirely. But I’ve always wondered if that staircase might lead to another kind of in-between place.

A staircase that connects to an unknown world.

It could be the past or the future, maybe even another dimension. Maybe it links to some kind of spiritual realm beyond this one.

…Or something like that!

It’s the dreamy kind of fantasy, don’t you think?

Out of all my little theories, that one’s actually one of my favorites!

"…Do you… want to go there, Tsubasa-chan?"

"I do."

If it really exists, I want to go—even just once.

And if there’s a god there, I’d love to ask them about this whole reincarnation thing.

I know I’m just talking big—I get that I can’t actually go.

"…I see."

But still, since I can’t go, maybe I’ll just talk to God from up here. You have to say thank you while the moment feels right. And this rooftop’s so close to the sky—I figure the message might reach better from here.

“Thank you, God, for letting me be reborn—!”

“Thanks to that, I made a wonderful friend—!!”

"God—please keep looking out for me from now on too!"

Just thinking about how happy I am to be friends with Kishine-san made me so excited, I blurted it out… and of course, it came out all wrong.

It ended up sounding more like I was thanking the gods at a shrine for blessings received than talking to some divine being in the sky.

…Well, I mean, I can’t meet either of them, so it’s not that different, right?

“…Tsubasa-chan.”

Just as I finished saying my thanks and started feeling refreshed, Kishine-san called out to me.

When I turned around, she was standing there—her eyes looking moist, maybe from the sunset.

Huh? What’s wrong?

“…Just imagine, okay? What if… what if I said I couldn’t climb the angel’s staircase with you… what would you do?”

She said it in this cautious, hesitant tone, like she was confessing to having broken a promise.

Kishine-san looked really sorry.

Like… maybe there’s some difficult circumstance she’s dealing with?

…Maybe her body gets out of rhythm during the kind of weather when the angel’s staircase appears?

She’s a girl too, after all.

If that’s the case, then it can’t be helped.

“I can go… by myself.”

If that’s how it is, then I’d like her to leave it to me.

I’ll make sure to take some really beautiful photos!

I do want to see that sparkling sky together, but I’d never want to push Kishine-san past her limits. If I get a good picture, she’ll be the first one I show it to!

“You don’t… have to push yourself, Kishine.”

I puffed up my chest and said it proudly. But when I did, she suddenly looked down, trembling like a phone receiving a call.

…Is she picking up a signal or something?

Well, this is the Mysterious Research Club—weird signals are kind of par for the course.

She only looked down for a moment.

Then she lifted her head, and her eyes were—wet.

…Wait, huh?

“T-Tsubasa-chan, to you… I’m just someone you’re passing time with, aren’t I?!”

Huh—!?

“Kishine…?”

“I don’t wanna hear it!”

Before I could even try to stop her, she ran off the rooftop in a burst of speed.

I mean… I walk like a slowpoke at best, so there’s no way I could catch up to her like that.

…What does she mean by “just someone I’m passing time with”?

Did I… say something weird?

---

Ever since I started calling her “Tsubasa-chan” instead of “Shirogane-san,” a few days ago… it’s like my heart has been overflowing with thoughts of her.

Every time I say “Tsubasa-chan,” she takes up more space inside me.

I start imagining her as someone special—someone who should be special—without even realizing it, building up this image of her all on my own.

I wanted her to notice me, so I kept glancing her way.

I wanted to be alone with her, so I acted all defensive around Futaba-san.

And yet—more than anything, I wanted to be someone special to her, so I kept asking her over and over to call me by my name.

And today, again, was the same routine as always.

“Good morning—Tsubasa-chan.”

“G’morning, Kishine.”

Every time she calls me “Kishine,” all cute like that, I can’t help but feel a little disheartened—like I’m still not someone special to her.

『…Kishine is just… Kishine.』

…To Tsubasa-chan, what am I, really?

“…Is calling me Rio still not okay?”

“Mm.”

…Maybe I just can’t be someone special to her.

Lately, before I know it, it’s already after school.

I’ll be thinking about Tsubasa-chan the whole day, and then suddenly the chime for homeroom ending rings.

What were today’s classes even about?

Did I take any notes?

—Oh well. It doesn’t really matter.

“…Hey, Tsubasa-chan, why did you want to climb the angel’s staircase?”

More importantly, I want to understand her.

I want to know more about her. Get closer to her. Earn her trust.

—I want to be someone special to her.

“…Kishine, do you know what’s beyond the sky?”

“Um, space… right?”

That’s why I want to try to understand the world she lives in.

I want to take in her words—so full of mystery—and figure them out.

Tsubasa-chan shook her head gently, like a squirrel.

Right away, I touched something different, something beyond the ordinary.

“It’s not?”

“Nope.”

She looked up at the sky, her gaze soft, almost floating. The air around her felt mysterious.

Strange, unknowable… and a little unsettling.

“The other side of the staircase—the light leaking out at the end—it’s somewhere else.”

She felt like someone who might suddenly just drift away, without anyone noticing.

Different from the faint presence I see in the classroom that only I seem to catch—this was something even more transparent.

“…Is that where you want to go, Tsubasa-chan?”

“Yeah.”

She really might step into the sky if I looked away for even a second.

…Tsubasa-chan still wants to walk into the sky.

“Kami-sama—please keep watching over me from now on, too.”

Her voice sounded almost buoyant, even though her face showed no expression.

Her eyes gazing up at the sky sparkled with the reflection of the setting sun.

Tsubasa-chan… is she trying to go to where God is?

“…Tsubasa-chan.”

My heart thudded hard—something felt off, deeply wrong.

And if my instincts were right, then…

Even if we climbed the Angel’s Staircase together, we’d end up apart.

—Tsubasa-chan is probably planning to be reborn as an angel.

“What if… I mean, just what if. What would you do if I said I couldn’t climb the Angel’s Staircase with you?”

I could never become an angel.

I’m too earthy, too shallow, too heavy.

…If she’s reborn, I won’t be able to stay by her side.

Even though she’s grown so huge inside my heart—how could I bear it?

So I looked at her, almost like I was praying, hoping she’d say she wanted to stay with me.

“I can go alone.”

Those words broke over me like a cold wave, flooding my heart with emptiness.

“Kishine doesn’t… have to push herself.”

Her face was blank as always, but between us, something invisible was beginning to take shape.

A wall like a river, dividing the everyday world from the far beyond.

To Tsubasa-chan, I’m just…

I clenched my hands tight, so tight it hurt—because it was frustrating.

I ground my teeth together—because it ached.

I realized it. To her, I was just someone who happened to be there.

Someone she could leave behind without a second thought.

And so—

“T-Tsubasa-chan… am I really just… someone you’re passing by on your way somewhere else?”

The thought that she’d become an angel and leave me behind… it crashed over me like a flood of abandonment.

Frustration, sorrow, loneliness—I couldn’t forgive her for it.

“Tsuba…sa?”

“I don’t care!”

Even though Tsubasa-chan called out after me, I couldn’t stop myself. I ran from the rooftop in a blur.

Because to me, Tsubasa-chan really is someone special.

And that’s exactly why… I couldn’t hold it in anymore.