Volume 0 / Chapter 13: Dream

"Mo Xueyao? Mo Xueyao?"

Xueyao opened her eyes in confusion, only to find herself sitting on a classroom chair.

Her familiar middle school homeroom teacher was calling her name from the lectern.

"H-here!" Xueyao hurriedly responded.

She just vaguely felt something was off.

"Sleeping in class is not acceptable."

"Okay…"

"You're a high school student now, you need to study hard, or you won't get into a good university."

"Mm…"

Xueyao nodded groggily, as if she hadn't fully grasped what was happening.

She faintly remembered she shouldn't be in the classroom, but should be in… a hospital bed.

Hospital bed?

She scratched her head vigorously but couldn't recall anything beyond lying on the hospital bed.

Her memory seemed to stop before she learned she was actually a girl.

Suddenly, she noticed something was wrong.

Because her hair was unexpectedly long.

The black strands were incredibly smooth, making her touch them over and over in bewilderment.

How could she have such long hair, and no one else found it strange?

Xueyao looked around and saw her classmates didn't seem bothered.

The bell for the end of class suddenly rang, and students who were already distracted rushed out with their backpacks.

It seemed school was already over.

Although Xueyao didn't quite understand what was going on, she instinctively went with the flow.

These were all familiar middle school classmates; she recognized every face.

A girl very intimately placed her hand on Xueyao's shoulder as they left: "Xueyao, let's go home together?"

"Huh?!"

Xueyao turned around in disbelief and saw the pretty, adorable face of the class beauty.

She swallowed hard, finding it hard to believe.

"Really?"

"Don't we go home together every day?" She asked puzzled 

"Ah… yeah…" Xueyao pretended to remember something, but still followed the class beauty out of school with immense confusion.

Looking back, she saw the sign above the school gate: "Hangzhou No. 14 High School."

No. 14 High School… that seemed right.

It seemed she had gotten into No. 14 High School.

She scratched her head, feeling like someone who had skipped dozens of episodes in the middle of watching a thousand-episode TV drama.

A whole long stretch of memories… was completely missing.

"What are you thinking about?" The class beauty pressed her face very close. "Hmph, wanna go take sticker photos today?"

"Ah…? Sticker photos?"

Even Xueyao, who didn't know much about this, was well aware it was something wildly popular nationwide and even globally.

Major shopping malls always had little booths set up underneath, looking about the size of phone booths.

Pull back the curtain, go inside, and for one yuan you could print one.

Ten yuan got you eleven prints.

And you could choose which ones you wanted to print, meaning there were no restrictions while taking them.

The computer inside let you choose all sorts of stickers or special effects; it was girls' favorite thing.

Xueyao remembered the class beauty used to like going with her close girlfriends.

Now… it was with her?

But… what was even stranger was, how had she suddenly become a woman?

Something definitely felt off.

And so, the two went to take sticker photos together very intimately, the sweet mood dispelling the confusion and unease in her heart.

Back home, facing her parents who acted completely naturally and showed no surprise, Xueyao didn't ask anything more.

That night seemed to pass quickly, gone in the blink of an eye after closing her eyes.

The next day, Xueyao arrived at the school gate again, but the unease in her heart grew stronger.

She felt sure something bad was going to happen.

This intense premonition gave her a headache.

When she walked into the classroom, she found all her classmates were already there, staring at her with various dark expressions.

There was contempt, disgust, resentment.

But in short, no one looked at her kindly.

Even the class beauty was now looking at her angrily.

"Mo Xueyao, you're actually a man!" The class beauty pointed at Xueyao and shouted loudly.

This development felt illogical somehow, but it happened anyway.

"A man… I… am, yes." Xueyao instinctively, subconsciously answered.

Then something suddenly came back to her.

Right, she remembered. He originally was a 'man', but after discovering the intersex condition, it was confirmed he was actually a true woman.

Later, he had the surgery...

What happened next...?  

She couldn't remember.  

Xueyao felt her headache intensify.  

"You used to be a man who had a sex change!"  

"Freak!"  

"You even used the girls' bathroom!"  

"Disgusting!"  

"You showered with girls during military training!"  

"Pervert!"  

She had never realized words could cut so deeply.  

No one laid a hand on her, yet the pain felt sharper than a knife slicing through her heart.  

Then the students lunged forward, pinning her to the ground—  

as if trying to tear her lower body apart.  

And she truly felt that agony,  

as if her lower half were being ripped to shreds.  

......  

"Huff... huff..." Xueyao's eyes snapped open.  

Cold sweat had soaked through her hospital gown.  

No wonder that story felt so absurd and terrifying—it was just a nightmare.

But they say dreams reflect daytime fears, and this one laid bare her deepest anxieties.  

Oh... right.  

The surgery was successful. From now on, she should be referred to as "she."

Bright sunlight streamed into the room.  

Noon, probably.  

It felt like she'd slept for ages; even closing her eyes made her head throb.  

"Xueyao, what's wrong?" Mom's voice from beside the bed steadied her.  

"Nothing..." Xueyao shook her head weakly. "Just a... nightmare."  

"If you feel any discomfort, tell me."  

"Uh... down there. It hurts a little."  

"I'll call the doctor!" Mom sprang up, jamming the nurse call button.  

When no one responded immediately, she rushed out to find help.  

Xueyao stared blankly at the sterile white ceiling, piecing her thoughts together.  

She’d fallen asleep during the surgery.  

Waking up meant it was over.  

A hollow emptiness washed over her—  

tinged with reluctance, confusion, and a thread of regret.  

But regret was useless now. At best, it would’ve only delayed the inevitable.  

From today, I’m a girl.

How... does one even be a girl?

Mo Xueyao felt very lost and suffocated, ten times worse than the panic she’d felt before starting high school.  

"I’m not a man anymore..." she muttered gloomily.  

A familiar laugh cut through the room:  

"Haha, you never were a man to begin with-at most you were just a boy.!" Dr. Wang’s cheerful voice echoed as he entered.  

"Dr. Wang..." Xueyao craned her neck. Had he always been this tall, or was it the bed making him loom?  

"Stay down. The surgery was only hours ago—rest is crucial." He lifted the blanket to examine her, two nurses observing closely. "No bleeding or pus. Just normal post-anesthesia soreness."  

Mom exhaled in relief. "Thank you so much, Dr. Wang"  

"No problem, no problem." Dr. Wang smiled. "Taking care of patients is what we should do. I'll be here these next few days, feel free to find me if anything comes up. When I'm not here, you can find the other doctors responsible for this surgery, that's all fine too." With a nod, he and the nurses left.  

"Alright, alright." Her mom responded repeatedly.

"Then there's nothing else. If you have any other questions, come find us again." Dr. Wang smiled and nodded at Mo Xueyao, then left the hospital room with the two nurses.

Xueyao shut her eyes, inhaled deeply, then looked toward the window.  

Her reflection hadn’t changed since yesterday, yet somehow it felt... more feminine.  

"Xueyao, what’s on your mind?" Mom pressed.  

"...Just thinking, I have no idea how to be a girl..." Xueyao honestly voiced part of her feelings. "Feels... really lost."

"It's okay, these things... you'll get used to them gradually."

"Easy to say..." Xueyao rolled her eyes. "Thirsty as hell, mom, I want water."

"Swearing like that, for example, should be forbidden."

"I can't even say that?"

"Be ladylike." Mom said, bringing a cup with a straw to Xueyao's mouth; it was prepared in advance. "Drink."

Without hesitation, Xueyao opened her mouth and gulped down big mouthfuls, looking completely unable to wait.

Even drinking through a straw, quite a bit of water spilled from the corners of her mouth.

"I told you, be ladylike. Can't you drink slowly?"

"No way, that's too slow, not satisfying at all." Xueyao finished the water and let out a long sigh. "Whew— Too bad I can't just tip it back and chug it."

"You kid..." Even Mom felt somewhat helpless with her.

"I have a boy's mindset! I've been a boy for sixteen years; changing isn't that easy." Xueyao found an excuse for her lazy reluctance to change habits. "Besides, even as a girl, can't I be a straightforward, unpretentious girl?"

"What kind of girl would that look like?" Mom retorted, giving her a sidelong glance.

"Says who!" Xueyao's voice suddenly rose. "Boys can be shy, why girls can't be bold! Like in the old days, there were heroes, and there were heroines too! Who decided men must do men's things and women must do women's things?"

"Then what's the difference between men and women?" Mom found it hard to argue back.

"The difference isn't in that kind of thing! Like men can protect women, but can't women protect men sometimes too?""  

"Wouldn't that mean he's living off a woman? That would be shameful"

"Ugh, you’re so ancient, Mom!" Xueyao rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Can't be bothered arguing."

"Don't say 'I'm old'"

""Tsk." Mo Xueyao curled her lips. Although she did not continue to argue with her mother, she was sulking alone