Volume 0 / Chapter 7: An Unfamiliar Ceiling

The smell of disinfectant hung in the air.

Throbbing waves of pain pulsed through his head.

Outside the window, car horns blared, bicycle bells rang, and street vendors hawked their wares.

But Mo Xueyao couldn't open his eyes. They felt glued shut.

Nearby, muffled voices seemed to be talking, as if separated by a wall or a door. He couldn't make out the words.

He strained to focus, barely catching fragments of the conversation.

"Doctor, how is Xueyao?"

"Let me explain. Hello again, Mr. Yu. We met briefly before."

"Yes, hello, Professor Wang."

"It's like this. The head injury itself isn't serious. He lost consciousness because pressure on cranial nerves was already present. We also reviewed his condition prior to the accident and determined he was experiencing severe headaches before the fall – that's why he collided with the vehicle. Strictly speaking, the vehicle didn't hit him."

"Then... he should be alright?" It was an anxious female voice – Mo Xueyao's mother.

"He has some abrasions, nothing major. But the crucial point is this: the headaches originate from the abnormal development caused by his external organ deformity. This triggered a chain reaction... affecting cranial nerves. Similar to how a toothache can cause headaches or even stomachaches."

"So... that means... the surgery must be done soon?"

"Exactly. I personally recommend proceeding as soon as possible. He's sixteen now, an appropriate age for this procedure. It's better for his future. At sixteen, his personality isn't fully fixed yet. Adapting to life as a girl starting now wouldn't be too late."

"Ah, regarding the cost," another voice chimed in, "because this is a special case and we need clinical data, we can waive most fees. We'll try to minimize expenses for you."

A long silence followed.

A voice that sounded almost boyish – likely Godfather Yu Liang – spoke: "Should we do it in Hangzhou or Shanghai?"

"Shanghai's medical facilities are undoubtedly better, aiding recovery. But costs will be higher – the cost of living there is steeper than Hangzhou's."

"Whew..." It was Mom's voice, taking a deep breath. "If we do it... we should do it properly... But... we still need to tell Xueyao."

"His input should ideally be sought," a more elderly voice said gently. "But continuing as a male offers no benefits or future. He lacks true male internal organs. Instead, he has a female uterus and ovaries. By every measure, transitioning to female is the better path."

Mo Xueyao felt utterly bewildered and adrift. Panic and confusion washed over him.

What was happening?

Why was he suddenly supposed to become a girl?

He struggled to open his eyes, feeling a faint sting in his eyelids.

Or maybe it was just his imagination.

Finally, his eyes flew open, staring at a stark white, completely unfamiliar ceiling.

"Huff... huff..." Merely opening his eyes felt like a monumental effort, leaving him drenched in cold sweat. He managed to prop himself up weakly against the headboard.

Creak— The door opened at that moment.

"Xueyao! You're awake?" The moment she pushed the door open and saw him sitting up, Mom rushed to his bedside like a gust of wind.

"Ah... headache... just now... what were you talking about outside?"

Yu Liang stepped forward, ready to speak, but an older man with salt-and-pepper hair and black-framed glasses rested a hand on his shoulder.

This older man... wasn't ancient, just balding noticeably, especially in the center.

"Let me handle this," the man said warmly. "Would you mind stepping out for a moment?" His tone suggested he just wanted to share a little secret with the child.

"Of course." Yu Liang nodded immediately, gently pulling the hesitant Yang Xiaoyu out of the room.

The door closed again.

This time, only Mo Xueyao and the older doctor remained.

"Hello, my surname is Wang. You can call me Dr. Wang. I'm well-versed in both internal and surgical medicine." He pulled up a chair and sat facing Mo Xueyao, creating an atmosphere of equality.

"My surname is Mo... Mo Xueyao."

"Mm, I know your name. It always sounds lovely when I hear it, haha." Dr. Wang seemed easygoing, smiling gently. "Do you understand what's happening with your body?"

"No..." Mo Xueyao instinctively resisted, shaking his head slightly.

"How does it feel to be a boy?"

"...Nothing special, I guess." Mo Xueyao licked his slightly dry lips.

Dr. Wang didn't reply immediately. He walked to the water dispenser, filled a disposable cup with warm water, and handed it to him. "Have some water."

"Okay... thanks." Mo Xueyao took the cup and gulped down half the water.

"What about being a girl—"

Before he could finish, Mo Xueyao shook his head vigorously, his unkempt summer hair swaying.

"Haha! I wasn't done... How do you imagine being a girl would be?"

"I don't want to be one."

"Just imagine it."

"Being a girl..." Mo Xueyao was forced to picture it and felt a shudder of revulsion. "Having to wear skirts... and date guys..."

"Haha, it's not just about those differences, you know."

"Dr. Wang, I don't want to be a girl." Mo Xueyao stared at him intently.

"But you were born, biologically, a girl. What grade will you be in this September?"

"Senior high, first year."

"Oh, then you must remember your biology class lessons."

"I remember."

"You have a girl's ovaries and uterus inside you. Externally, there's what appears to be male genitalia, but it serves no real function. They can't even produce significant testosterone for you. Your testicles are more decorative than functional. Haven't you noticed? During puberty, other boys grew taller, developed Adam's apples, and grew body hair, but you haven't." Mo Xueyao flushed slightly. There was another thing too—other boys thingy were... larger than him.

That's why, after the boys in junior high started developing, he had to use the stalls in the bathroom. Using the urinals with everyone else would have invited ridicule.

"So, biologically, you are undeniably female. The surgery we propose isn't overly complex. It's essentially restoring your external organs to female ones. Think of it like a steamed bun with red bean paste filling that was mistakenly shaped like a dumpling. We're just reshaping it back into the bun it was meant to be." Dr. Wang offered an interesting analogy.

"Can't... can't it just stay as it is?"

"Hmm... Putting aside the future social challenges of living as a male when you're biologically female, let's just talk about the immediate effects. Without the surgery, you'll continue to have frequent stomachaches, headaches, or even full-body pain. This abnormal physiological state will also affect your brain. Simply put, it will cause you all sorts of ongoing distress."

Mo Xueyao rubbed his still-throbbing head and didn't answer. He just lowered his head in silence.

"Life is full of unexpected turns, isn't it? We all have to face them and find solutions."

"If you keep refusing, you'll only make your parents worry more."

"Actually, being a girl can be quite nice. Not everyone gets to experience life first as a boy and then as a girl."

Dr. Wang kept speaking, but Mo Xueyao remained stubbornly silent.

He gripped the bedsheet beneath him, feeling overwhelmed by the suddenness of it all.

"Does it feel too sudden?"

"Yeah..."

"That's life. It throws dramatic curveballs. Sometimes, real stories are even more unbelievable than anything a screenwriter would dare write." Dr. Wang patted Mo Xueyao's shoulder comfortingly. "And if the idea of dating boys as a girl is what's putting you off, remember, girls don't necessarily have to like boys either."

In that moment, the combination of factors finally breached a small part of Mo Xueyao's defenses.

"I... I..."

"Hmm?"

"Let me... let me think about it... This... this surgery... is it very expensive?" Mo Xueyao ran his hands through his hair in frustration, turning it into a messy bird's nest.

"We'll do our best to minimize costs for your family, but it will likely still be around fifty thousand yuan."

"That's a lot," Mo Xueyao blurted out.

"But your health is more important."

"Our family probably can't afford that much..."

"If it's truly difficult, the hospital can help your family apply for a bank loan. Having the hospital's connection should make the process smoother."

Mo Xueyao rubbed his hair again, deflated, and sank back onto the hospital bed.

He stared once more at the unfamiliar ceiling, let out a long sigh, and mumbled, "Feels like I'm trapped in some absurd dream..."

"It's not a dream. It's reality." Dr. Wang patted his shoulder again. "Think rationally. Which option saves your family money in the long run? Sticking with this unstable situation, or having the surgery? What if you have another accident like this? What if it leaves you permanently disabled, needing lifelong care?"

Mo Xueyao flinched as images flashed through his mind: confined to a bed, unable to care for himself, reliant on others for even basic bodily functions.

His heart trembled. His resolve began to waver.

Not because he wanted to be a girl, but because he feared his stubbornness would bring greater hardship and more trouble to his family.

Think rationally...

He slowly closed his eyes, feeling a suffocating weight of frustration.

"Well, I'll leave it at that. I believe you'll make the best choice." Dr. Wang smiled, stood up, and walked out of the room. After that, no one else came in.

This stretch of quiet, empty time seemed deliberately left for him...