Volume 0 / Chapter 8: An Inevitable Decision

Mo Xueyao was discharged from the hospital the next morning.

His injuries weren't serious – just some scrapes that didn't even need bandages and would heal on their own in a few days. Staying longer was just wasting money, something an ordinary, slightly struggling family couldn't afford.

It wasn't Mom or Yu Liang who picked him up, but his own dad.

Dad arrived on an old blue bicycle with a crossbar. Mo Xueyao climbed onto the back, and they wobbled their way home.

Everything seemed normal, as if nothing had happened.

"Hmm, that cake smells good. Xueyao, want some?"

"Not hungry." Mo Xueyao shook his head from the back seat. "Dad, why are you picking me up? Don't you have work? Wait... isn't today Monday?"

"Uh, just took the day off." Dad pretended to look around casually, as if hiding something. "Anyway, don't worry about it."

"Really just took the day off?" Mo Xueyao gripped the back seat handle and sighed deeply.

"Yeah, really just took the day off. Your mom's job as a maid makes it harder for her to get time off, right?"

Dad waited, but Mo Xueyao didn't answer. He glanced back and saw his son frowning slightly, staring blankly at the cars passing by on the street.

"Dad, wish we had a car too."

"Ha! Isn't this a car?" Dad laughed heartily, slapping the handlebars. "A two-wheeler!"

"I mean a real car... Hey, hey, Dad! Watch the road! Don't look back!"

"Relax! Your old man's bike skills are top-notch!" To prove his point, Dad deliberately wobbled the bike, making Mo Xueyao grab his shoulders tightly.

"Ow! Kid... you're gripping too hard!"

"Then stop messing around! How old are you?!" Mo Xueyao yelled, drawing looks from passersby. He lowered his voice. "Just ride properly, okay?"

"Okay, okay. Want some cake?"

"The cake shop is already behind us. Stop asking!" Mo Xueyao said, eyelids drooping.

The silly commotion seemed to lighten his heavy, conflicted heart a little.

The bicycle wobbled into the familiar street and stopped at the foot of their apartment building.

Mo Xueyao had just dismounted when Dad placed a hand on his shoulder.

"What? Want me to carry you upstairs?" Mo Xueyao asked, giving his dad a sidelong glance. The question wasn't random; Dad had genuinely made such childlike requests before, though usually gave up after a few flights of stairs, exhausted.

"Hey, haven't carried my Xueyao in ages. Today's the day—up we go!" Dad scooped Mo Xueyao up in a cradle hold and charged up the stairs. He took several flights without seeming to tire or even breathe hard.

"Hey! What are you doing? I'm not a girl! Why carry me?" Mo Xueyao protested.

Suddenly, the atmosphere froze.

Dad awkwardly scratched his nose and set him down. "Uh... okay, walk by yourself."

"..." Mo Xueyao lowered his head, took a deep breath, and silently followed behind. The earlier lightheartedness vanished as if it never happened.

Opening the front door seemed to dispel the heavy atmosphere.

"Hmm, smells like congee. Your mom must have cooked it again. Want me to make you scrambled eggs with scallions today?" Dad asked with a smile.

"Mm... whatever."

Mo Xueyao felt drained. He shuffled lazily into his room, kicked off his slippers, and flopped onto the bed.

A warm breeze blew in, yet it chilled his heart.

He sat up and leaned against the window sill, looking down at the sparse trees and the weeds choking the flowerbeds below.

His mind felt both crowded with thoughts and strangely empty.

Clouds drifted slowly across the sky, changing shape. As large ones floated away, smaller ones took their place.

The blazing sun overhead promised another scorching day.

But then Mo Xueyao noticed a dark cloud approaching in the distance. It swallowed the white clouds, staining the sky black. The bright, sweltering day plunged into gloom.

He stared upwards, mesmerized, so absorbed he didn't hear Dad call him for breakfast. Dad watched his back for a moment, then quietly closed the bedroom door.

The sky rapidly darkened to an oppressive, suffocating black.

A few grayish-yellow sparrows darted across the sky, seeking shelter from the coming rain.

A sudden wind whipped up, bending tree branches sideways and flattening the weeds.

Faintly, he heard someone shout, "It's raining! Go home and take in the laundry!" followed by the sharp bang bang bang of windows being slammed shut.

He saw clothes blown off lines, snagging on tree branches.

The sun vanished completely, plunging the world into near-darkness. The streetlights below, sensing the gloom, flickered on automatically, casting pools of dim yellow light.

Kaa-BOOM!

A blinding bolt of lightning cracked down. Mo Xueyao instinctively flinched backward, feeling as if it had almost struck his forehead.

Like a battle cry, ink-black raindrops began pelting down.

Pitter-patter on the eaves. Rat-a-tat on the awnings. Splat splat splat on the ground.

The wind blew sideways, driving the torrential rain straight into Mo Xueyao's face.

The late summer rain was unexpectedly cold.

He seemed oblivious, still staring blankly at the sky.

A sudden urge surged within him—to rush down into the open space and stand in the downpour.

Like facing the end of the world, instinctively wanting to vent all his pent-up negativity before embracing final oblivion.

Yet, no matter what images filled Mo Xueyao's mind, this was still just rain.

Just a summer thunderstorm.

It arrived swiftly and departed just as quickly.

Sudden in its coming, sudden in its going.

There was no gradual tapering off, no slow decrease in intensity.

In an instant, the rain simply stopped. The dark clouds seemed torn apart and crumpled by giant hands, revealing the sun that had never truly left, merely hidden.

The sky was now cloudless, washed clean to a brilliant blue.

A rainbow suddenly arched across the sky, stretching from one side of the city to the other.

The seven-colored arc looked... almost delicious...

Gurgle-gurgle. Mo Xueyao's stomach chose that moment to growl loudly.

"Ugh... I'm starving. Dad—! Isn't it ready yet?"

"We already ate!" Dad's voice came from the living room. "I called you earlier, but you didn't respond!"

"Huh—?"

"If you're hungry, come eat! We saved one for you!"

"Coming!" Mo Xueyao scrambled out of bed, pushed open the door, and plopped down at the dining table. "Dad, the rainbow today was really pretty."

"Was it? Let me see." Dad, having finished his own breakfast, ambled into the kitchen and looked out through the window.

He saw the clear sky and, of course, the bright, beautiful rainbow.

"Oh, nice!"

"Right? But you usually only see rainbows after a heavy storm."

"Maybe it's telling the world that life becomes more beautiful after enduring hardship."

"Twisted logic." Mo Xueyao rolled his eyes.

The day passed as if nothing had happened. He played games on his Xiao Bawang "Learning" Computer all day.

Using a learning computer to play games... well, it didn't seem entirely inappropriate.

Lunch, dinner, then Mom came home.

Soon, it was time for bed again.

Nighttime always seemed to invite melancholy.

Or perhaps the quiet of the deep night just made it easier for the mind to wander.

Even with the electric fan blowing directly on him, Mo Xueyao felt unbearably hot and restless. He tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

Through the window, he could see stars twinkling around the moon, blinking steadily as if watching the world below.

Knowing those things... sleep just wouldn't come as it used to.

Why had this happened to him?

A boy barely two or three years from adulthood, suddenly told he was actually a girl.

In that era, few could readily accept such news.

Mo Xueyao grabbed his pillow in frustration and pressed it over his face, only to feel something wet against his cheek.

Was it reluctance to let go of being male? Or resistance, fear of the unknown?

He felt like a eunuch learning he was about to enter the imperial palace – though his situation was undoubtedly far better than that.

He thought of the sudden downpour earlier that day.

If he hadn't been at home, but standing out in the rain, he would have been soaked through.

Hmm... an unrelated thought, but it popped into his head.

And thinking of the rain inevitably led him back to the rainbow after the storm.

He didn't know if his changed life would reveal any kind of rainbow.

But his rational mind told him that continuing to run was just delaying the inevitable.

Some decisions had to be made.

Even if forced upon him, they had to be made.

No matter how difficult, they had to be made.

And often, when it came to such decisions, there was really only one correct choice.

Since coming home yesterday, his parents hadn't mentioned the matter.

But their words and actions showed they were acutely aware of it, wanting to speak, yet afraid of hurting him.

He rubbed his aching, swollen head, then bit down hard on his finger.

It hurt.

But it dulled the headache and sharpened his thoughts.

Fifty thousand yuan was a huge sum, but if he didn't do this, he might end up spending even more later. Worse, a major accident could happen.

Dying outright might even be a relief, an escape.

But the real fear was ending up half-dead, unable to even choose death.

If he retained some awareness, both he and his family would suffer. If he lost consciousness entirely, he'd become nothing but a burden.

Compared to that, having surgery to become a girl seemed... almost insignificant.

Mo Xueyao felt his mood lighten slightly.

He scrambled out of bed, switched on the dim desk lamp, and sat down at his desk.

He pulled a notebook from a drawer and tore out a page.

He needed to make this decision now, before he could hesitate and waver again.

But saying it out loud felt too embarrassing.

So, he simply wrote a few lines on the paper:

Mom, Dad, don’t worry about my feelings. Do what’s best to solve this.

Mo Xueyao stared at the words for a long time, then crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it into the desk drawer.

He tore out another page and wrote again.

This time, only three words: make the decision

"Still running away in the end..." Mo Xueyao muttered bitterly to himself. He cautiously pushed open his bedroom door and crept into the silent living room.

His parents were probably asleep.

He carefully placed the note on the dining table, leaving it unweighted. If a breeze came through, it might blow into some forgotten corner.

His feelings were too complex.

Part of him wanted them to see it; part of him didn't. In the end, he chose this method, leaving it to fate.

After doing this, he scurried back to his room like a thief and let out a long breath.

For him, this night was uncharacteristically long...