Decision EP.55

"Sora-chan! Sora-chan!!"

'...Fuck...'

The situation after that was really crazy.

I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance that arrived shortly after, and while receiving everyone's worried gazes, I was hospitalized with my hand wrapped in bandages in the blink of an eye.

And,

"...sob."

The hospital room where I was staying became a sea of tears.

At the time, I couldn't understand their actions.

I failed to kill myself, but it was just a small wound and it was already stitched up, so it was nothing, but

Hoshino was on her knees behind me, muttering "Again..." and crying... Shiroko and Nonomi were clinging to me and wouldn't let go.

I didn't even think of a good reaction, but I thought this was a bit too much.

...But what was even more absurd was,

'Why isn't anyone angry at me...?'

No one blamed me for my actions. It was 100% my fault but,

instead of scolding me, the room was filled with voices of regret for not being able to stop me.

"Even I thought about it when it got to that point."

"If this kind of thing happens again, am I just leaving indelible scars on the kids for no reason?"

They were kind-hearted people who cherished me so much even though we hadn't known each other for long, so it was clear that they would be hurt.

"It hurt... just imagining it... It felt like a knife was piercing my heart."

They were supposed to have small but happy memories without having to worry about me, so my heart ached at the thought of them getting hurt because of me.

"So I tried to give up. I was scared of killing myself anyway."

If I just gave up on suicide, everything would be solved.

"...."

"You look like you're wondering why I couldn't give up."

"Ah, no, I..."

Yume was flustered and tried to make excuses, but I smiled bitterly and answered her question.

"It's nothing special... I just... had a dream."

"...A dream?"

Yeah, a dream.

Just a dream. But a dream I wanted so much.

"A dream where I talked to my parents."

A very sweet dream.

"...I can't listen to this anymore..."

*

"...Ugh..."

How much time has passed since I fainted? I lost consciousness for an unknown reason, it wasn't serious, so I was able to wake up safely. But...

'...My head hurts...'

When I woke up, I was greeted by a headache that felt like someone was hitting the inside of my head, a heaviness that weighed down my whole body, and a fever that seemed to heat up my body.

'Is it a cold...?'

It's been almost a year and a half since I reincarnated here, I was a little embarrassed since I've never had a cold, so

My only advantage was that I was incredibly tough.

'...I feel gross...'

Since it's been a while, the symptoms of a cold were very unpleasant.

My head hurt, my body was heavy, and because of the fever, every breath I took was hot and painful, and I was sweating, so my whole body felt sticky.

Not only that, but even though it's been a while since I woke up, I couldn't open my eyes properly, so I couldn't grasp the situation.

'...Should I get up first?'

It's hard to move because of the cold, but judging from the softness that surrounds my whole body, Sensei probably moved me here when I collapsed, so I needed to show him that I was okay and thank him.

'I also need to escape...'

I might have forgotten because I fainted, but I'm still a runaway. If Hoshino finds out about this, I don't know what she'll do.

"Ugh...!"

So, to survive, I forced my heavy body to get up...

-Fwip

"...?"

...But I couldn't.

The moment I tried to get up, someone's hand gently pressed down on my body and laid me back down.

'W-what...?'

I was puzzled by the sudden situation but,

"Are you awake?"

"!!!"

The voice that I absolutely shouldn't hear from above my head, that unique, languid voice...

"Uhe- Is the game of tag over?"

"Sora-chan."

It was the voice of Takanashi Hoshino.

"...Ah."

Why are you doing this to me...

*

"I was worried? I came to find Sora-chan, but the person in question was lying there with a high fever."

"...."

"Are you okay?"

Maybe my worries were unnecessary. Or maybe I looked that bad. Unlike when I was prepared to be scolded, she spoke in a gentle voice and only said that she was worried.

But I couldn't answer her question.

It's partly because I'm sick and partly because the reason I avoided Hoshino was that I ran away but,

"...."

The guilt that I had been ignoring until now because of the conversation I had in that space came back up, and my lips wouldn't open.

But even though I was like this, she didn't interrogate me, and instead smiled her unique smile while stroking my head even more.

"Really... Sora-chan, you're such a handful~"

...I know. I know I'm the worst sister.

As I reflected on myself in the black space, I'm trash. And I'll continue to be trash in the future.

This is a truth that I can't deny and don't want to deny.

It's already too late to stop... No, I already chose this.

Then what should I do? How can I end this relationship where we hurt and get hurt? I can't even die as I please.

'...I guess that's the only way.'

No. The answer was already there a long time ago. I just couldn't make a decision because of my damn attachment.

...But it seems it's time to make a decision.

-----

"You've been whining since earlier, but if you're going to say things like that..."

-----

In order to prevent Hoshino... everyone in Abydos from getting hurt even a little bit more,

-----

"If you're going to have that kind of feeling, then just give up from the beginning!!!"

-----

I'm determined to use any means necessary.

...Even if today is the last time I meet Hoshino.

That's why,

-Tug tug

"Huh? What's wrong, Sora-chan?"

I decided to act spoiled for the first and last time.

"...Hug me."

"U-uhee?!"