Chapter 140: First Experience
My first time would end while I lay there counting stains on the ceiling, leaving everything to my partner.
…At least, that’s what I used to think.
Even though I gave the go-ahead, feeling like a fish on a chopping board, Souta didn’t make a move at all. The two of us just sat there on the bed, frozen.
Looking back, I think all my previous partners had taken the lead. I mean, considering I used to be a guy, maybe I should feel a bit weird about that—but I’ll just put that aside for now. Right now, I need Souta to step up.
I thought that once I was mentally prepared, all I had to do was endure it quietly. So I hadn’t even considered making the first move myself.
"Uh… should we take a shower or something?"
"I already took a bath at home, so I’m fine."
"R-Right… actually, I showered at home too."
"O-Okay…"
Maybe that kind of consideration is important.
But still, after all the time I spent getting ready… couldn’t he have picked up on the hint?
"Then… can I kiss you?"
"Huh…? No, kissing’s not happening."
Let’s use common sense here.
"I-Is that so…?"
"Of course it is."
There’s no way I’m kissing a guy I’m not even dating. What is Souta even thinking?
Ugh… Just imagining it gives me goosebumps.
But Souta looked visibly flustered, like he hadn’t expected me to reject him. Did he really want to kiss me that badly…?
From his perspective, I guess it’s a kiss with a beautiful girl, so maybe it doesn’t bother him. But for me, kissing a guy is absolutely out of the question.
"T-Then… what am I supposed to do now?"
Souta actually asked that.
…Wait, he’s asking me?
"I-I mean… I thought we’d start with a kiss and some touching to get in the mood…"
He’s way too reliant on the manual.
If you don’t learn to improvise a little, you won’t be able to handle real girls. It’s not like an eroge where the options pop up for you.
I swallowed those words and instead said,
"Just… do whatever you want to do… okay…?"
—mumbling it while looking down.
My face was red—not out of shyness, but because I felt ridiculous saying such a calculated line.
Souta blushed and let his hands fumble in the air, then placed one behind his neck and muttered quietly,
"T-Then… can I try hugging you?"
"…Go ahead."
I turned my body toward him and offered my upper half. Souta slowly approached and awkwardly spread his arms.
Thinking it might be easier if he wasn’t being watched, I closed my eyes and waited.
Souta hesitantly reached out and touched me.
His hand first landed on my waist. Then, with his other arm, he wrapped lightly around my shoulder. It was barely even a hug, more like a tentative brush of contact, as if he was trying not to put any pressure on me.
…This is so drawn out.
Growing impatient, I opened my eyes and, without warning, dove into his chest.
"...There!"
"――Ooh!?"
Despite being startled, Souta caught me steadily with his chest and held me firmly in place.
Now that I had jumped into him, my entire body was completely wrapped in his arms.
"...Y-You, seriously..."
"Hehe~"
I laughed to brush off his grumbling and wrapped my arms around his body, clinging to him.
"Wh-Wait—!?"
His chest felt nothing like the soft bodies of the girls I'd touched before. It was firm, solid. Even the back I touched felt rugged and stiff. I patted around with my hands, trying to get a sense of it.
Back when I was a guy, I used to roughhouse and cling to Souta all the time, but the impression now was completely different. Somehow… he felt really reliable.
"Whoa… you’re seriously tiny, huh?"
Souta muttered in awe.
"You’re just too big, that’s all."
I used to be taller than Souta, actually… but I kept that to myself. I was doing my best not to make him think about how I used to be a guy. If I brought that up now, it would just ruin the mood.
"Man, you’re so soft… and you smell really good too."
"Nn…"
He sniffed at the back of my head with a snuffling sound.
…His breathing’s kind of heavy. That’s a bit gross.
I get the urge to indulge, but still—couldn’t you be a little more considerate of me?
But… scent, huh…
As I buried my face into his chest, I picked up the scent of soap and fabric softener, mixed faintly with something uniquely Souta. Something I never paid attention to when I was a guy… but it felt oddly calming.
…Is this part of being a girl now, too?
As I was thinking about that, the hand Souta had on my shoulder slipped under my ponytail and gently stroked the back of my head.
His big, rough hand tickled a little.
I narrowed my eyes—and without even realizing it, his other hand had moved down...
—and suddenly squeezed my butt.
"Hyi!?"
The unexpected touch made my body jump.
Souta panicked and immediately pulled away, lifting his hands in the air.
"S-Sorry!"
He apologized on the spot.
C-Crap…
I rejected him without thinking.
Souta froze up, looking incredibly awkward, still holding his hands up.
"I-It’s okay! Really, I’m fine! Just, um… you’re wrinkling my dress…"
Honestly, even I knew that was a pretty flimsy excuse.
To prove that I wasn’t just saying it to cover up, I stood up, turned my back to Souta, and began lowering the zipper on the back of my dress.
It was then that I suddenly realized—
…Should I have let him undress me instead?
Would taking it off myself seem ungraceful…? No, I doubt Souta’s in any state to be thinking that clearly right now.
Maybe I should’ve just taken it off earlier.
But really, how far am I supposed to undress?
…Should I take everything off?
But then, the babydoll Yuna picked out for me would go to waste. Honestly, I’m not that confident about my body, so I kind of wanted to rely on my underwear to smooth things over. Besides, being completely naked just felt… too vulnerable.
I decided to just take off the dress and go with the flow from there.
After lowering the zipper all the way, I slipped the dress off one shoulder at a time and let it fall to my feet with a soft rustle.
I could hear Souta inhale sharply.
Right now, I was wearing nothing but a sheer pink babydoll that revealed a matching white lingerie set underneath—definitely a provocative look.
Even with my back turned, I could feel Souta’s burning gaze on me.
I picked up the dress at my feet, folded it, and placed it neatly under the bed.
With both hands resting over my chest, I took a small deep breath, braced myself, and turned to face Souta.
"Whoa…"
Souta let out a voice of admiration.
"That’s… insanely hot…"
"I-I see…"
Even if it was meant as a compliment, I wasn’t quite sure how to respond.
Well, I guess it was doing its job—I did put it on to turn him on, after all…
I sat back down on the bed and looked up at Souta.
The babydoll had definitely worked its magic—he looked visibly aroused. His eyes were a little intense.
At this rate, I think we’re finally okay now.
But just to be safe… one final push.
"Um… it’s my first time, so…"
Was that too calculated?
He might think I’m being too fake…
Ugh, whatever, just say it!
If boys need courage, then girls do too!
"So… please be gentle with me, okay?"
I turned my blushing face away, unable to meet his eyes.
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