Chapter 159: Alice and Those Around Her (Part 1)
Tuesday, April 18 – Week 1, Day 6
"A-Alice-san!? What in the world—"
After school, I visited Suzuka’s apartment again, just like yesterday. And the moment I was shown into the living room, I dropped to my knees and bowed my head in apology.
"Souta said he likes me. It turns out I was your rival in love. Even after I told you over and over I’d support your feelings for him..."
After what happened yesterday, saying this now might finally make her give up on me. She might decide she’s had enough and cut ties for good.
Suzuka had called me her best friend—and this felt like a terrible betrayal. But… that’s exactly why I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer.
I felt her approaching and sensed her crouch down in front of me. I flinched, coward that I was.
"There’s no need to apologize. Who Souta-san falls in love with isn’t something you’re responsible for, Alice-san."
"Suzuka..."
She pulled me into a hug.
"Besides, I already knew who Souta-san had feelings for. Including that, I already accepted your apology yesterday, Alice-san."
"You knew...?"
"He told me when he turned down my confession… But even if he hadn’t said anything, I would have figured it out. I’ve watched Souta-san more closely than anyone, after all."
"B-but Souta and I are both guys—"
"That might be how you see it, Alice-san. But from my perspective, you two have always looked like the perfect couple. It’s honestly frustrating how well you match."
"I-I see..."
"There was even a time when I burned with rivalry toward you, trying to hold you in check… Did you not notice?"
"Now that you mention it..."
I think there was something like that.
Suzuka had suspected my relationship with Souta more than once.
But I laughed it off every time, thinking that was ridiculous, so it never really stuck in my memory.
"So that’s why. Please don’t worry about me. More importantly, are the two of you planning to start dating?"
"No, no… That’s not even possible."
"And why not?"
"Because it’s Souta, you know…"
"? You don’t love Souta-san?"
"As a best friend, I trust him more than anyone. But it’s not like that, I mean… I can’t even imagine the idea of being his lover."
When I said that, Suzuka gave a refined little laugh.
I wasn’t sure what she found so funny, when—
"What’s there to imagine? Haven’t the two of you already done most of what lovers do together?"
"Fweh!?"
A weird sound slipped out of me.
It’s true that I spend a lot of time with Souta...
We’ve gone on—well, if you count going to card shops and arcades as dates—then we’ve gone on a bunch of those.
We’ve even had physical intimacy, though only when circumstances left us no choice.
...And our physical compatibility isn’t bad, I think.
Even his thing, though a bit too big, I can handle it now. Lately I’ve gotten pretty used to it, or rather, it’s, uh—wait, that’s not the point!?
"A-a-anyway! Right now I don’t have the space to think about being with anyone!"
"Fufu… If the time ever comes when you do start thinking about that, don’t hold back on my account, alright? I’ll be rooting for both of you."
Suzuka was… cheering me on.
"...Th-thanks."
I couldn’t bring myself to strongly refuse her. That would’ve just been rude. So I could only mumble something vague in response.
Just as I was starting to feel relieved that Suzuka hadn’t cut me off, I remembered—I was scheduled to talk with Hisui next.
I went home once, then made my way to the shrine where Hisui lived, heading to the shrine office.
As usual, her room was simple and unadorned. I stepped inside and sat down beside her on the bed.
"Yuna told me. Souta confessed his feelings to you, didn’t he?"
"...Yeah."
"So, what do you want to do, Alice? ...Do you like Souta?"
"I like him as a best friend, but it’s not the same as liking someone romantically."
"...I see."
Everyone I’ve talked to has asked me the same thing. I guess from the outside, Souta and I really do look like that kind of couple. Ugh... it’s complicated.
"I want things to stay the same between us, but... I know it’s not that simple. I am your girlfriend, after all."
Knowing Souta has romantic feelings for me and still staying close with him—it's not right. Those aren’t feelings I should be accepting.
"But right now, it’s hard to put distance between us, and I don’t really know what to do… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be saying this to you, Hisui."
"...So it really has come to that, huh?"
"Huh?"
"Yuna told me. Said you’ve hit a logic error and wandered into a maze of overthinking."
"A l-logic error...?"
I couldn’t help but give a wry smile at how bluntly Yuna had put it.
"And then she scolded me. Said if I was going to tie you down as your girlfriend, then I should be supporting you properly, too."
"I-I’m sorry!"
That girl—what a rude thing to say to Hisui—
"It’s fine. Yuna was right. I got complacent after becoming your girlfriend. I kept telling myself what’s going on with Souta is just temporary and avoided facing it. This situation is my fault—"
"It’s not your fault, Hisui."
We’d had this conversation so many times I’d lost count. Even so, Hisui just shook her head again, refusing to accept it.
"That’s why I’m going to accept Yuna’s suggestion."
"...Suggestion?"
"That Souta should be allowed to support you, too. It’s frustrating, but... it seems like you really need him right now."
If I were being honest and faithful to Hisui, I should’ve said no right away.
But I couldn’t give an answer. And that alone was enough for Hisui to be sure—she smiled and shook her head gently.
"You should just focus on worrying about Alicia. The only reason I pushed us into becoming a couple was because I wanted to support you. But if it’s only making things harder on you, then what’s the point?"
"...I’m sorry."
"In exchange, if I can even call it that... when it’s just the two of us, I want you to rely on me more. I want to be the place you can come home to."
"I mean, from my perspective, I do think I’m relying on you a lot..."
"You just said it yourself, didn’t you? That you can’t accept Souta’s feelings because the way he loves you is different from how you feel. But... isn’t it the same with my feelings?"
"Th-that’s..."
I couldn’t deny it. Deep down, I knew I was putting up a wall between me and Hisui.
"I think you’re just bad at lying to your own heart, Alice. So I’ve been thinking... what if you tried pretending?"
"Pretending? Isn’t that just lying?"
"Not at all. A lie is something you tell others. This kind of pretending is something you do to fool yourself. It’s not like tricking someone else, so there’s no guilt involved, right?"
"...Maybe?"
"That’s why—from now on, when it’s just the two of us, I’ll be your mama."
"Huh...?"
Mama? Wait, what?
"I did some research, in my own way. About how I could get you to open up and depend on me more. Apparently, men have this deep desire to be babied by a mother figure, right?"
Hold on a sec.
That sounds... off on several levels.
"I mean, I have a mom, you know..."
“Not mother, Mama. Someone who spoils you thoroughly, Alice.”
…I didn’t get it at all.
“I know I’m saying weird stuff. But I just couldn’t think of any other way. So, let’s give it a try. Even if it doesn’t go well, there’s nothing to lose, right?”
“Uh… well, I guess that’s true.”
There was no doubt that Hisui had thought this through for my sake. So, I decided to go along with her idea.
“Okay, I’ll start when I clap my hands, alright?”
“O-okay.”
Her hands clapped lightly—clap—and echoed through the room. Apparently, that was the signal. Hisui was now my Mama.
…What am I even supposed to do here?
“Alice, come here?”
Hisui held her arms out to me.
Hesitantly, I stepped forward, and she closed her arms around me, pulling me gently into her chest.
She hugged me close and began stroking the back of my head.
“There, there. Mama’s here now.”
She said it with obvious embarrassment, which somehow made me feel embarrassed too.
Her arms held me tightly, so I couldn’t escape. I buried my face in her chest instead, trying to hide my expression.
Ah… so soft...
She’s definitely wearing a bra and an inner shirt, but even through that, Hisui’s chest was still unbelievably fluffy. I shifted my head left and right, taking in the softness.
“Fufu… You can be as clingy with Mama as you want, okay?”
She patted my back gently—pom, pom—then slowly rubbed up and down. It was like my whole body was melting into comfort.
“You’re doing your best, Alice. I’m proud of you.”
“Mmm…”
That one hit a bit too hard. I felt something welling up inside me and, to hold it back, I wrapped my arms around Hisui and hugged her tightly in return.
“...Hisui.”
“Mama.”
She corrected me gently, almost like a soft scolding.
“U-uhh—”
“When it’s just the two of us, call me Mama, okay?”
“……Mama?”
“Yes, it’s Mama.”
“Mama…”
“There, there, my sweet Alice.”
It was a bewitching absolution.
Because it’s Mama, it’s okay to be spoiled.
Accepting Mama’s love is only natural.
It was a warm sensation—like sinking into a bath. All the tension in my body melted away, and I felt myself slowly, deeply submerging.
“It’s alright… so don’t cry.”
Cry? Who’s crying?
…Me?
“Why…?”
“It’s fine. Mama understands everything.”
A tight, strong, yet gentle embrace.
“…Mama… Mamaaa…”
I clung to her helplessly, surrendering to my emotions.
“Yes, yes.”
She accepted all of me.
“Alice, I love you. Love you, love you, love you…”
The whispered words of love in my ear.
It was as if my heart—this fragile vessel—was being filled with love. As the container overflowed, every other emotion spilled away.
“Now then, let’s lie down, shall we?”
Hisui leaned back, pulling me with her. Cradled in her arms, I lay beside her.
“Alice loves breasts, doesn’t she…? Then, how about some breast time now?”
The buttons of Hisui’s dress shirt came undone before my eyes. The white lace bra, her breasts—voluminous, overwhelming breasts—filled my vision.
Faced with them, I could only obey my instincts—whether they were those of a man, those of a child, or something else entirely, I didn’t know.
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