Chapter 160: Alice and Those Around Her (Part 2)
By the time I arrived at the apartment where Souta was waiting, the sun had already set.
"Good work."
"Yo."
When I entered the room, Souta was lying on the bed playing a game on his phone.
I set down the plastic bag holding the beef bowls on the desk. It was something he’d requested in our messages before I came. After placing my sports bag on the floor, I went to the sink to wash my hands.
"You can go ahead and start eating."
"Yeah."
I took out the regular-sized bowl from the bag and opened the lid. The savory aroma made me smile without thinking.
"Ah... I forgot the drinks."
I got up and headed to the fridge. Cola for me, and—Souta would probably want ginger ale.
When I got back to the room, Souta was already pulling out the extra-large bowl from the bag.
"Mm."
"Thanks."
He took the ginger ale and plopped down directly onto the wooden floor, starting to eat. I sat down in the desk chair and began my meal too.
It had been a while since I last had beef bowl. I used to eat it as an after-school snack, but now with this body, eating something like that in between would ruin my appetite for dinner.
I planned to stay over at the apartment for the next few days, so I’d likely be eating dinner out. It was something I had scheduled in advance. With my ovulation day approaching and the chances of getting pregnant higher, I wanted to be able to focus without worrying about the time.
We ate in silence.
Normally, we’d chat about games or anime, but something about the atmosphere today felt a little off.
"Sorry for making you wait."
I apologized to Souta once we’d mostly finished eating.
"...It’s fine."
There was a slight pause before he responded. Maybe I really had kept him waiting too long. He must’ve come here right after school ended.
Or… did he find out I met up with Hisui earlier?
"...I was starting to think you weren’t coming today."
"Why? I’m the one who’d be in trouble if this didn’t happen."
"In trouble... Yeah, I guess."
His expression darkened. The way I phrased it probably made it sound like I was only here for the physical part, which might’ve come off badly.
"I was looking forward to today, you know? Look—this proves it!"
I showed him what was inside my sports bag as I spoke. Along with a change of clothes, there were snacks, a handheld game console, several deck cases containing decks for Wisso, and a large storage box packed with thousands of adjustment cards.
"You really..."
Souta gave a wry smile at the contents of the bag.
"Hehe, it’s been a while since I’ve stayed over with you like this."
It was true—I had been looking forward to it.
But the truth was, back when I made these plans, I never imagined Souta would confess to me.
"About yesterday... sorry. Yuna scolded me. She said, 'Don’t dump more problems on Alice when she’s already going through a lot.'"
"S-Sorry! I’ll talk to Yuna about it later."
That Yuna… I know she meant well for my sake, but I think she was a bit too harsh with both Hisui and Souta.
"No, it’s my fault. So, um… let’s just forget about yesterday—"
"I won’t forget."
I cut him off before he could finish.
"Don’t say that. I know you were serious—serious enough to turn down Suzuka’s confession. I don’t want you to pretend that never happened. I know I’m not in a position to say anything when I haven’t even given you an answer, but still."
"...You don’t hate me?"
"Let me ask you instead—if I were still a guy and told you I liked you, what would you do?"
"I’d be pretty shocked."
"…Would you hate it?"
"I'm not against it, but... I think I'd be confused. I've never thought about it that way before. But still... whether or not I can accept it is a different story, I do want to give you a serious answer. No matter how you see yourself, you're still my precious best friend."
Hearing those words straight from Souta's mouth, I felt satisfied.
"I feel exactly the same way."
"I see... makes sense."
"So, for now, I want you to wait. I mean, if you end up disappointed in me or fall for someone else, don’t hold back or anything, okay?"
"Got it. Then, until that happens, can we keep things the way they've always been?"
"Yeah. But... there's just one thing I want to ask of you. Up until now, when we’ve... done it, you've been holding back your feelings for me, haven’t you?"
I only noticed it yesterday. But thinking back, there had been signs. While Souta was holding me, he’d sometimes have this expression—one that wasn’t just about feeling good, but something more bittersweet.
It was the face of someone realizing their heart wasn’t in sync with what their body was doing—even though they were with someone they truly loved.
I used to think Souta was probably just lucky to have no-strings-attached sex, but in reality, I was forcing him into a purely physical relationship with someone he had feelings for.
I can only imagine what that must’ve been like for him... but maybe it felt like a sweet kind of torture.
That’s why—
"I already know how you feel, Souta. You don’t have to hold back anymore."
"But… wouldn’t that just put more pressure on you?"
"No. I realized that holding it back only makes those feelings build up until they crush you. It's actually easier for me this way, too. So, um… when it’s just the two of us, do you think it’s okay if I accept your feelings? I know it sounds like I’m being indecisive…"
I wasn’t sure if I was doing this for Souta’s sake or just to make things easier on myself. Maybe I was just pushing a convenient kind of relationship onto him.
But still, I didn’t want to see him make that kind of face again—one full of pain from trying to hold it all in.
"...I don’t mind."
"Thanks, Souta."
Relieved, I let out a small breath.
I don’t know how many more times we’ll do this before I get pregnant, but… at the very least, I want to respond to Souta’s feelings until then.
Souta stood up and walked over to me.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Eh, no way."
"What!? Wasn’t that totally the mood just now!?"
He looked genuinely shocked to be rejected.
"I mean… we just ate gyudon."
Read the room, please. Also, the smell of beef bowl is still lingering in here—I want to air the place out.
"Then how about after I brush my teeth?"
"In that case... yeah."
"Alright then."
Souta moved quickly, as if he’d just been given the green light. I guess I really had made him wait for a while, left him simmering all this time.
Thinking that, I started cleaning up the food containers. Being wanted by Souta didn’t feel bad at all.
...But, still.
"Um, mind if I take a shower first?"
"...Sure."
I’d rushed here right after spending time with Hisui, so I wanted to freshen up first.
So I decided to have Souta wait just a little longer. Not that I’m trying to tease him or anything. Really.
After showering and getting everything ready, I stepped out of the bathroom with just a bath towel wrapped around me.
I sat lightly on the edge of the bed beside Souta.
The silence was a little awkward.
"So... should we kiss now?"
Even though I said that, I still felt hesitant about making the first move. Oh well. If I just close my eyes and wait, he'll probably kiss me… he has that much courage, right?
"Nn…"
I shut my eyes and pursed my lips slightly, sticking them out a little. I wonder if my face looks weird like this? It’s a small worry, but I can’t help thinking about it.
A soft, plush sensation pressed against my lips. Then, a series of small, pecking kisses followed.
Chu, chu. Each press of his lips made a sound, gentle and rhythmic. Souta’s large hand reached up, his fingers cradling my chin as if to support it.
"Nn…"
My lips were parted, and his tongue slipped inside. A shiver of pleasure rippled through me as our wet membranes intertwined. His hands came up to hold my head in place, cradling it gently on both sides.
"Fua… nnnh…"
It felt like his tongue was stirring up my thoughts, muddling everything inside until my mind melted into haze.
"I love you, Alice."
"...Yeah."
That was the best I could do to respond to Souta’s feelings right now.
Happiness, heartache, joy, sorrow, pain—so many emotions swirled together and welled up inside me.
And when that happened, I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
"Alice…"
"I’m okay. I’m sorry..."
I gently stroked Souta’s head as he looked at me with concern.
His short, spiky hair pricked against my palm.
"Alice, I love you—I love you so much!"
His large frame leaned over mine, and I was scooped into his arms, then laid down onto the bed.
"Yeah… Thank you, Souta."
I placed my hand over his, and noticed it was trembling. I gave it a few small, reassuring squeezes, as if to loosen the tension from his cold, stiff fingers.
Little by little, as my warmth reached him, the shaking began to fade.
Then, he kissed me again.
My bath towel slipped open.
He held me—strongly, tightly, as if to make up for everything he’d been holding back.
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