Chapter 162: First Time
Friday, May 5 – Week 4, Day 2
“…Huh? Did I fall asleep again? Sorry.”
Apparently, I’d dozed off without realizing it.
It had become a bit of a habit—falling asleep while chatting cuddled up with Hisui. Probably because my body’s been so exhausted lately. Still, I felt bad for her.
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
Hisui said that and gently stroked the back of my head.
Her chest, now right in front of my face, was slightly damp with sweat, and a sweet scent tickled my nose.
I wanted to let everything go and surrender myself to that drifting drowsiness again—but I held myself back. We hadn’t really finished talking yet.
“Um… where were we again?”
“You told me you might be pregnant and that you want to go to the hospital soon.”
“Yeah… Mom says it’s still too early for anything to show up, so there’s no point rushing, but it’s hard to stay calm when things are still uncertain. I don’t see a soul inside me or anything, do you?”
“I don’t. Remember? I told you before that a fetus doesn’t get a soul until the heartbeat can be confirmed—around 8 to 10 weeks.”
“I know, but still… what if…”
“It’s okay. This time, your basal body temperature shows a clear shift. I don’t think the due date will be far off.”
“I see…”
“And besides, the soul of Alicia inside you is stable right now. So don’t worry.”
“…Okay. Thanks, Hisui.”
Just having Hisui take in my worries like that made me feel so much better.
“You start overthinking things and get all worked up. Right now, just let Mama spoil you a little.”
“Y-Yeah…”
Just thinking about what’s to come made my cheeks flush.
Letting Hisui pamper me like a baby had already become second nature.
Even though we’re lovers, I know it’s not normal to rely on someone this much—but I didn’t feel the slightest urge to resist.
“Come here.”
She loosened her top and pulled me gently into her arms. I curled up small and kissed her like a baby.
“Nn…”
My entire body was wrapped in a deep, instinctive sense of comfort. A drowsy peace, like being forgiven for everything.
If I can safely give birth to the child in my belly—Alicia—maybe I’ll be able to offer that same comfort to someone someday.
…But I’m not confident.
I don’t think I have what it takes, in so many ways.
But for now—just for now—I’ll let it all go and melt into this warmth.
Monday, May 8 – Week 4, Day 5
Golden Week had ended, and the day had finally come when I could get a check-up.
Skipping school, I rode in the passenger seat as Mom drove us to an OB-GYN clinic in the next town.
To avoid being recognized by anyone from school, I’d hidden my striking silver hair under a black wig and wore fake glasses as a disguise.
I was dressed in a front-button blouse and long skirt—a soft, mature pink.
Being a student and often mistaken for even younger than I am, I was prepared to be stared at if people found out I was pregnant.
But the less attention I drew, the better.
“If you carry yourself with confidence, you’ll be fine.”
Mom tried to reassure me as I fidgeted in the car.
“Besides, it’s both an OB and a GYN clinic. There’s nothing strange about you coming here for a check-up.”
It’s not like anyone other than the doctor would know what I was being seen for, and that helped calm me down a bit.
The suburban hospital had a stylish-looking exterior.
I went through reception and filled out the questionnaire. Things like why I was visiting, my period history, whether I’d had sex…
There was even a section asking if I hoped to give birth. I marked that with a double circle.
The waiting room was filled with adult women—most of them clearly pregnant.
I tried to act like it was nothing, but honestly, I was super nervous inside.
Eventually, they called my name, and I went through a series of tests:
weight, urine sample, blood pressure.
After that, they called my name again, and I entered the exam room alone.
“Let’s see… Miss Kisaragi Alice. You’re hoping to give birth—correct?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
The male doctor, who looked to be around the same age as my dad, looked a little surprised when he saw me, but quickly returned his gaze to the form and continued speaking.
I showed him the printout of my basal body temperature chart and explained what I knew. He seemed impressed and said I’d done my homework.
“Well then, I’ll perform an internal exam. Please move over there.”
I moved to the adjoining room as instructed.
It was a small space partitioned off by curtains, with a reclining chair-like seat set prominently in the center.
A nurse told me to remove everything from the waist down.
I slipped off my underwear, tucked them into my pouch, and placed it into a basket.
When I told the nurse I’d taken them off, she told me to lift up my skirt and sit down on the chair—so I did as I was told.
As I sat still, the chair began to whir and move.
It rotated 90 degrees away from the entrance, now facing the curtained area. Simultaneously, the back reclined.
It kind of reminded me of a dental chair, but unlike the dentist, here my legs were being spread and lifted, supported from the calves.
(Oh… oh no…)
From the waist down, I was hidden behind the curtain, but beyond it, my lower half was surely spread open and completely exposed.
I could feel the presence of the doctor and nurse on the other side.
(Ugh… they’re seeing me…)
Even Souta had never seen me this clearly before.
The sensation of the outside air directly touching my skin left me feeling terribly vulnerable.
“Are you alright?”
The doctor’s voice startled me so much I flinched.
“Y-Yes!”
…I’m so embarrassed I could die.
“Alright then, I’m going to insert a finger now.”
“…!”
His finger touched me down there—and pressed in.
Naturally, I wasn’t wet, so it hurt.
“It’s a bit tight, I’ll apply some gel.”
“Nnn—!?”
A cold, slippery substance was spread inside.
I desperately tried not to make any weird noises.
His finger pushed in deeper without hesitation, while his other hand pressed down on my lower abdomen.
Apparently, he was checking the condition of my uterus.
Next, he inserted a cold metal instrument and examined every part inside thoroughly.
(Eeeeek…!)
It was far more humiliating than sex.
My brain felt like it was going to melt from the shame.
Then came the ultrasound exam.
They said it involved inserting a wand-shaped probe into the vagina…
At this point, I was just ready for whatever.
As I endured it in a state of mental emptiness, an image appeared on the display visible from the examination table—black and white.
“This is your uterus. You can see the gestational sac—that black area there. You’re pregnant.”
“Y-Yes…”
In the center of the snowy, grainy screen, there was a small black bean-like shape.
Inside it, there was a faint white speck. Apparently, that’s what would become the baby.
After that, my mom was called in, and we spoke with the doctor together.
He confirmed that I was definitely pregnant.
However, he explained that there was still a 15% chance of miscarriage at this stage.
In most of those cases, the cause lies with the fetus, and there’s nothing the mother can do.
If the fetal heart starts beating and they can confirm it, the risk of miscarriage will decrease, he said.
He also mentioned that because I’m short and have a narrow pelvis, it would be classified as a high-risk birth.
He recommended a cesarean section at a well-equipped hospital.
I don’t really have any strong feelings about giving birth naturally, so I’m fine with that.
Besides, if it’s just a cut, I can heal it with magic.
Finally, we scheduled the next appointment, and my first prenatal checkup was over.
So many things had shocked me that I found myself spacing out.
“I’m glad for you, Alice.”
Mom said that on the drive home, and only then did it finally sink in.
I’m going to have a baby.
Now I can save Alicia.
“…Thank you, Mom.”
So many people have helped me get this far.
…Now, I’ll get to see her again.
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