Chapter 165: The Two of Them
Monday, May 22 – Week 6, Day 5
The soul transfer had gone smoothly. All that was left was to give birth to the child now carrying Alicia's soul.
…That’s what I thought.
“There’s one more.”
That’s what the doctor said during the third prenatal checkup’s ultrasound.
Since I was pregnant, it seemed obvious that someone else would be in my belly… or so I thought, but apparently, that wasn’t what the doctor meant.
“There’s another gestational sac that wasn’t visible last time. I’ve confirmed a fetal heartbeat as well. It’s twins.”
“Wha… twins?”
As soon as I understood what that meant, my mind went blank.
The doctor kept speaking after that, but I was so flustered I could barely respond. My mom stepped in to answer in my place, and I just sat there, listening vaguely as she and the doctor talked.
Even in the car on the way home, I was still out of it. Nausea from morning sickness made it even harder to think straight.
Mom didn’t bring up anything about what was next, only checked how I was feeling now and then. It was as if the whole scene at the hospital had been just a dream…
“…Well, there’s no way it was.”
Reality hit me hard the moment I lay down in bed back home, being careful not to put pressure on my belly.
There were twins inside me.
The child carrying Alicia’s soul… and another.
“…What am I supposed to do?”
My head was swimming.
“…Bathroom.”
Ever since I got pregnant, I’ve needed to pee more often. My body was changing, like it or not, to bring a child into the world.
After finishing up, I headed downstairs.
Mom was in the living room. When I sat at the table, she brewed me a cup of tea.
The gentle scent of lemon-mixed tea filled the air. When I took a sip, its warmth soaked into my body, easing me a little.
Mom sat across from me with her own cup of tea.
“Feeling a bit calmer now?”
“…Yeah.”
We sat in silence for a while, sipping tea. She didn’t push me, just waited quietly for me to speak.
“…Mom. What should I do…?”
That was all I could manage to say.
“Did you catch what the doctor said?”
“…Sorry. None of it stuck.”
“That’s understandable. It must’ve been a shock—something you never expected.”
She paused and brought her cup to her lips. The soft clink of the cup hitting the saucer echoed in the still room.
“The doctor said twin births come with higher risks… especially since you’re small and this is your first time.”
“…Yeah.”
My belly was still really small. I couldn’t eat nearly as much as before. I could hardly believe there was even one child in there—let alone two. I couldn’t picture it at all.
“Medicine may have advanced, but childbirth is still life-threatening. That hasn’t changed. So… I think it would be best to reduce one of the babies through surgery.”
“…What?”
Her words caught me completely off guard.
“Reduce… how?”
“They can inject a special medicine. That way, one of the babies can be removed without affecting the other.”
“That’s… that’s…”
My hand instinctively moved to my belly.
It was trembling.
“I know it sounds cruel. But if you push yourself too far, you or Alicia… or even both of you could die.”
There was no hesitation in her voice. That made it even more frightening. I turned my face away.
“I’m not going to force you. But I want you to remember this—I hope you’ll choose that option. I never want to lose you again.”
“…Okay.”
“You don’t have to decide right away. There’s still time—think it over carefully before making your choice.”
As if to say the conversation was over, Mom lifted her teacup to her lips again.
I sat there, unable to move, my head hanging low.
My reflection wavered on the surface of the half-full tea in my cup—what a miserable face I had.
Eventually, I forced myself to stand and, almost stumbling, left the living room as if fleeing. My steps unsteady, I made my way back upstairs to my room.
Carefully minding my belly, I lay down on the bed.
My hand naturally rested on it.
I stayed like that for a while, blankly doing nothing.
Then, I reached for my phone on the pillow beside me and opened a search page.
The first thing I looked up was about twin births.
Not only do they place a heavy burden on the mother’s body, but the babies themselves could be affected. There’s also a much higher risk of miscarriage or premature delivery.
Next, I searched about reducing the number of fetuses.
Apparently, the procedure is called fetal reduction surgery, done when someone is pregnant with multiple children and the risk of birth complications is high.
It’s usually performed when a woman is pregnant with three or more babies, but in my case, even carrying one child comes with risks. That’s probably why the doctor recommended it.
The surgery is most commonly done around the 11th week of pregnancy.
Since I’m just short of the 7th week, if I were to go through with it, it would happen in about a month. But with how quickly appointments fill up, I’d probably have to decide even sooner.
The reason it’s done at 11 weeks is because if it’s done earlier, the risk of miscarriage increases. On the other hand, once you hit the 12th week, it’s considered a stillbirth, and a death certificate is required. That seems to be the main reason.
“…So it doesn’t even count as having died.”
A life that leaves no record.
A sharp pain stabs at my chest.
I’ve already taken one life that was supposed to be born.
“…This is all my selfishness. Just because I wanted to see Alicia again…”
I had already decided—I would do whatever it took.
If I was going to follow through with that, then my answer was already clear.
If I tried to give birth to both babies, I wouldn’t just be putting myself at risk—I’d be endangering Alicia’s life too.
And then there’s my situation with Souta.
We’re on the edge right now, barely holding things together. If we keep a proper distance from here on, we might be able to chalk what happened between us up to a one-time thing… maybe even go back to how things used to be.
But if I give birth to this child, Souta becomes the father. It’s not like Alicia’s birth, which I can keep hidden—it’d be undeniable.
Souta would try to take responsibility. And if that happens, I’d be putting a huge burden on his future—on his chances of finding love or getting married someday.
“…But what am I supposed to do?”
I gently stroked my belly.
There’s a baby in here.
A life carrying my beloved Alicia’s soul.
And… another one.
My child.
—I have to protect them.
“…Huh?”
The emotion that rose up caught me off guard.
It swept past all the fears I’d wrestled with, all the risks I’d researched and agonized over—ignoring them completely.
But once it surfaced, that feeling began to swell, overflowing until it filled my entire chest.
“—Ah.”
They were alive.
That tiny flickering shadow I saw on the ultrasound—was pulsing with life, boldly declaring its presence.
“There’s no way I could just… give up on them.”
As long as there’s even a chance.
Yes, there are risks, and problems, and countless things I’ll have to carry.
But still—
“I want to give birth.”
I thought I was already prepared to become a parent. I’d told myself that over and over, and I’d been asked to confirm it time and again.
But honestly, I never truly felt it.
Because the one I was going to give birth to was Alicia—my dependable partner who had traveled alongside me for so long.
But… this child is different.
A fragile life that might disappear depending on the choice I make—a life that can’t survive on its own.
My child.
“That’s why I have to protect them.”
Alicia would be at risk because of that decision, but strangely… I didn’t feel much guilt about it.
Alicia wouldn’t want me to choose fetal reduction. If it came to sacrificing one of them, I knew—she would rather give herself up instead.
“…Maybe I’m just projecting my own selfish assumptions.”
But still, I believed Alicia would understand.
Because that’s the kind of person she is. That’s why I—
I gently stroked my belly.
The feeling that clutched my chest was both painful and precious.
I’ve already caused trouble. For my family, for Souta, for Hisui, and for Alicia.
All of it started with my selfish wish to see Alicia again.
“Then let me add just one more selfish wish to that.”
I still felt guilty, of course. But even so—
“I want to give birth to both of them.”
Because I am their mother.
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