Chapter 168: A Mother's Face
May 29, Monday – 7 Weeks, 5 Days
I walked down the quiet hallway during class. Once I reached my destination, I knocked on the door, waited a moment, then opened it.
“…Ah, it’s you.”
The school nurse greeted me. Ever since my morning sickness had started, I’d become a regular in the infirmary.
“Let’s see, how are you feeling… You seem a little warm?”
Her hand touched my forehead—a slightly cool hand with manicured nails, the kind only an adult woman would have.
“This has been pretty constant lately… I haven’t been feeling great, but I’ve gotten used to it.”
I gave the nurse a smile as she looked at me with concern. My condition was caused by morning sickness, so there wasn’t much to be done. But it wasn’t something I could tell her.
“By the way, I was just about to take a coffee break… Would you like some too?”
The coffee she made was always delicious. I knew because I’d had it a few times before.
But now—
“No, um… Thank you, but I’ll pass.”
They say caffeine isn’t good for the baby, so I wanted to avoid it.
“I see…”
The nurse began preparing a tea set placed on the upper shelf in the back. The electric kettle was already steaming.
—Skipping class for tea feels a bit wrong, doesn’t it? But… that coffee really is good.
I remembered what Alicia had said the last time she was invited here for coffee. She’d asked for extra sugar and milk, and even her picky taste buds found it delicious.
While thinking about that, I listened to the clink of cups being arranged.
“So then, how far along are you now?”
“Um, almost eight weeks.”
“I see.”
Just a casual exchange. But the strangeness came a moment later—
Huh…?
“W-Wait! What!?”
D-Did I just…!?
“Now now, let’s not make a scene. It’s still class time, remember?—Here, have some roasted green tea. No caffeine, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Ah, thank you…”
I accepted the cup she offered. My mind was a mess, so I took a sip just to calm myself.
“Hotttt—!?”
“That’s what happens when you rush… Calm down first, alright?”
“Ugh…”
I took my time this time, slowly sipping the tea.
It soothed my dry throat and gently warmed me from the inside.
By the time I’d repeated that a few times, I felt a lot calmer.
“…Why?”
“The way you were stroking your belly so lovingly. That was the giveaway. There were other signs too, but that was the biggest one.”
Apparently, I’d started rubbing my belly unconsciously while thinking about Alicia.
I really slipped up…
“I’d like to hear a bit more, if you’re willing. Will the father take responsibility?”
“Yes.”
“Is he older? A working adult?”
“No… I can’t give you the details, but he is the baby’s father—and he told me he’ll become my family.”
Even if I end up having to leave school, I won’t let it affect Souta.
Fortunately, there’s no proof of who the father is. No matter how much suspicion is cast, as long as I keep denying it, things should be fine… though Souta probably wouldn’t like that.
“Do your parents know?”
“They do.”
“And they’re not against it?”
“No.”
“Then… that’s good to hear.”
“…Aren’t you going to scold me?”
“Do you want me to?”
“No, that’s not it, but…”
“I was worried you might’ve been tricked by some awful adult, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. And from the look of things, you’ve already decided to have the baby, haven’t you? If you’ve talked it over with your partner and your parents, then there’s no room for an outsider like me to interfere.”
“I didn’t expect you to say that… I thought you’d be angry, like, ‘How could a high school girl get pregnant?’”
“Giving birth while your body is still developing comes with risks. And being a student makes things even more complicated. That’s why proper contraception is important… but saying that to you now won’t help, will it?”
“Um, I chose to become pregnant of my own free will. I can’t really explain the circumstances…”
“I see… That’s surprising.”
“You’d be surprised, wouldn’t you?”
I know it’s not normal for a current high school girl to want to get pregnant and give birth. I can’t explain the reasons, and it’s only natural that people around me don’t accept it.
But those who truly need to understand me do. To want more than that would be selfish.
“But what about school? It’ll be hard for the school to accept your pregnancy and childbirth. Are your parents okay with that?”
“I originally planned to take a leave of absence to have the baby and then return once things settled… but now that this has happened, I’ve given up. It was always a difficult plan anyway.”
I feel sorry for my parents who let me go to high school twice, but there’s no helping what’s been found out.
“Ah, I won’t report this to the school.”
“Huh…?”
“I’m the school doctor. I have a duty to protect my patients’ privacy. Besides, personally, I want to support you—when you were stroking your belly, you looked truly happy.”
My face reddens thinking that she saw me unconsciously thinking about Alicia.
“Because of my work, I sometimes get consultations from pregnant female students. But it’s always difficult for the men involved, the families, and the school to accept their pregnancies… Many girls ended up leaving school, having abortions, or getting hurt by unwanted outcomes.”
The nurse’s gaze grew distant as she recalled those times.
“That’s why, at least, I want to be on your side. That’s how I feel—though, of course, what a mere school doctor like me can do is limited.”
“That’s not true! Hearing that from you makes me feel reassured.”
I blurted that out, and she scratched her mouth thoughtfully, replying, “Is that so?” as she sipped her coffee.
“And you know, I think it’s okay to have many options for pregnancy and childbirth. Whether you’re a student, a fresh worker, or someone with responsibilities at work—if we keep saying ‘wait until then,’ then when would be the right time to have children?”
“That might be true.”
“With the declining birthrate, having children is encouraged. Society as a whole should be more accepting of pregnancy, childbirth, and childrearing.”
I’d never really thought about when women should get pregnant or have children. I knew it wasn’t always about finishing high school or college, getting a job, marrying, quitting work, then giving birth—but still.
“…Even so, your situation is a bit unusual and worrying.”
“Ha ha…”
She’s probably concerned about how my body is developing. She also knows my first menstruation came recently.
“Well, um… actually, I’m expecting twins.”
“…Are you really going to be okay?”
“I’ll do my best.”
Rubbing my belly, I said brightly to the nurse.
She pressed her fingers to her brow with a troubled look.
I could tell she cared—that’s a good nurse.
“…No matter what I say, it’s probably useless. You already have the face of a mother.”
“Um… yes.”
…What kind of face is that?
Will I really be able to become a mother?
“When you’re at school, feel free to rely on me. Don’t hesitate to ask for help. But don’t push yourself too hard.”
“Yes, thank you.”
After that, she started helping me in many ways.
When my morning sickness made me nauseous, she let me use the staff bathroom. She explained to other teachers so they wouldn’t find it suspicious when I left class often. Above all, she arranged with the PE teacher so I could sit out of gym class, which was a huge help.
I was also glad she gave me advice and listened to me casually.
I was told to get checkups every four weeks in early pregnancy, but not knowing how the babies were doing inside made me anxious. Though I was inexperienced with childbirth, the school nurse’s knowledge was very reassuring.
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