Chapter 171: As a Mother
Monday, August 7th — 17 weeks, 5 days
It’s the third day since we moved, and today, I came with Mom and Yuna to the hospital where I plan to give birth.
The building, apparently recently renovated, had a stylish exterior, and the lobby was spacious with high ceilings, giving it a very open feel.
I handed the referral letter to the receptionist and received a slip with a number on it.
“So many people here.”
The waiting lobby was packed.
I was given a seat, but Mom and Yuna remained standing, which made me feel a little bad.
“It’s fine, really. We’re not tired or anything.”
This place had an unspoken atmosphere where it was only natural to prioritize pregnant women.
After waiting for about an hour, my number was finally called. Urine test, blood pressure, weight check.
And height, too... not that I’ve grown any since getting pregnant.
The interview was done with just Mom and me.
“Kisaragi Alice-san.”
The doctor was a woman. She looked about the same age as Mom, maybe. That alone made me feel a bit more at ease than if it had been a man.
She seemed slightly unsure when she saw me.
“Um... should we do this in Japanese?”
“Yes, that’s fine.”
When I responded, she looked relieved.
“Still, you’re very young. Sixteen, and with twins…”
She touched her finger to her lips, a thoughtful expression on her face.
“For now, let’s just check the current situation.”
I exposed my belly and lay down on the bed.
She measured the circumference of my belly and the length from the bottom to the protrusion with a tape measure.
Then she spread a slippery gel on my stomach and pressed a large stamp-like instrument against it.
On the monitor, the inside of my womb appeared as pale, shadowy images.
As the instrument moved, the screen shifted, and vague human-like shapes flickered into view.
“This is the face.”
A faint white face was visible. It squirmed slightly, and I couldn’t help but think it looked like something out of a horror film—though maybe that’s an inappropriate thought.
“The baby on the right side is about 11 centimeters long. Roughly 100 grams in weight.”
She moved the cursor with her mouse to measure the length and explained it to me.
“You can tell the weight, too?”
“Just approximately. It’s calculated based on the size of the head and torso.”
“Huh, I see.”
She moved the instrument again to show the other baby.
“The one on the left is 10 centimeters and 90 grams—slightly smaller.”
For some reason, I had a feeling this one was Alicia. I don’t know if that’s really true… maybe when Hisui comes next time, I’ll ask her.
Next, she examined my legs. Apparently, swelling is common during pregnancy. So far, I hadn’t shown any symptoms.
After all the tests were done, we had a talk with the doctor.
“We’re planning a C-section for the delivery. Is that going to be an issue?”
“No.”
I wasn’t particular about how I gave birth. Recovery is said to be quicker with a natural delivery, but I have cheat-level recovery magic, so it’s not a problem.
Then came a series of questions about my body.
I also told her I’d started to feel the babies moving. The fetal movement had started the night before last, and I’d felt it many times throughout yesterday. Kicks, twists—there was a lot of movement in my belly. It was a strange sensation.
After that, Mom handled most of the discussions and confirmations regarding the hospitalization for delivery, the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), and other administrative things.
Once everything was mostly wrapped up—
“Alice-san, could I ask you to stay behind for a moment? There’s something I’d like to speak with you about.”
—said the doctor.
…What could it be?
Puzzled, I agreed and watched Mom leave.
"I'm sorry, but... I had to confirm your own wishes."
"I don’t mind, but... what is it?"
"If there comes a moment when only one can be saved—either you or the child in your womb—what would you want us to do?"
"Uh, um..."
"Giving birth to twins is a very serious matter. For someone like you, a first-time mother who's still young and petite, the risks are especially high. That’s why I’d like you to consider what you’d want, just in case."
"…"
"You don’t need to answer right away."
"No, it’s okay…"
"You’ve already thought about it?"
"I made a promise to the children in my belly—that I wouldn’t sacrifice my life."
Logically, it was a ridiculous thing to say. The doctor seemed to take that as a sign I had already made up my mind and continued.
"So, in other words, you want us to prioritize you? I think that’s perfectly valid."
"No, that’s not what I mean."
The doctor looked puzzled.
And honestly, I didn’t quite know what I was saying either.
"I’ve been a terrible daughter. I caused nothing but trouble for my family... and yet, they still care deeply about me."
Dad, Mom, Yuna.
And then, Souta, Hisui, Uncle Mitsuhiro.
"That’s why… if it comes to that, I’ll need to apologize to them."
I clenched my hands tightly on my lap.
"If only one of us can be saved, then please prioritize the children. I’ve already been a burden to so many people, and now I’m putting this responsibility on the kids, too..."
"You’re still so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. If you live, there will be new encounters, new—"
The doctor was probably a good person.
I heard later that she had a daughter around my age. So, I think she was worried for me from the perspective of a fellow mother.
But I shook my head.
"There’s no replacing these children."
I’m still just a child myself.
Even so, I’m a mother.
I can’t say I won’t hesitate. I’m not that strong.
But still.
I believe my family will raise the children.
What I worry about is the family I’d leave behind.
I’d be breaking my promise to Yuna. She’d probably end up carrying the biggest burden of parenting.
In fact, I can imagine her stubbornly forcing Souta into marrying her just to raise the kids as her own.
Hisui would probably keep blaming herself.
Whether the children become her salvation or her torment—I can’t say.
And Alicia... she probably won’t forgive me.
But this was all my selfish decision. I want to take responsibility to the very end.
This time it’s different—she’ll be reborn into a family bound by blood.
So I don’t think she’ll ever be truly alone in this world again.
Well, it’s not like I’ve been told I’m definitely going to die or anything.
Still, just in case, I should write something like a will—a message addressed to everyone.
“…I understand how you feel. We’ll do everything we can to support you so that both you and your babies come through the delivery safely.”
“Thank you.”
I returned to the waiting room after the examination. Mom and Yuna were worried, but I brushed it off, saying it wasn’t a big deal.
Then came the long wait just to pay the bill. The crowded lobby was stuffy and heavy despite the air conditioning. Some people were clearly coughing like they had a cold, and I regretted not bringing a mask.
I just hope I don’t catch anything.
Monday, August 9th — 18 weeks, 0 days
It was hot outside, so I spent the whole day lazing around until night.
After my bath, we took my weekly maternity photo.
Maternity photos are side shots of the belly, and ever since my pregnancy was confirmed, Yuna’s been taking them for me every week.
My stomach was clearly bigger than it was last week, with a soft, rounded bulge. I’d heard that with twins, your belly suddenly grows all at once, and now I could see that it was true.
I looked at the picture afterward. Even though my underwear was mostly out of frame, the image of my childlike figure lifting her dress to reveal a clearly pregnant belly felt incredibly indecent and erotic.
I know it’s weird to view pregnant women in that way, but if even I see myself like that, I guess there’s no helping it.
I briefly considered sending the photo to Souta but decided against it. I wouldn’t be able to take responsibility if it awakened some new fetish in him.
When I casually brought it up with Yuna, she got seriously mad at me. Not because of anything about Souta’s tastes, but the very idea of sending the photo.
“What would you do if someone else saw the picture!?”
Yuna herself apparently doesn’t keep any pictures on her phone that would make it obvious I’m pregnant. Not long ago, her image folder thumbnails were practically filled with photos of me.
“…Sorry.”
She was absolutely right, so I honestly apologized.
“…Just don’t, okay? Don’t go sending pictures of yourself like you’re some guy showing off porn to his friends.”
Once the photo session was over, it was time for my massage.
During pregnancy, all kinds of body parts suddenly get bigger, which stretches the skin. When that happens, cracks can form, leaving marks known as stretch marks.
Twin pregnancies, where the belly grows rapidly, are especially prone to this, but so far, I haven’t gotten any. Probably thanks to Yuna massaging me thoroughly with moisturizing cream every day.
These massages are a daily moment of bliss.
“Mmm... Feels so good...”
But when summer break ends and Yuna goes back home, I’ll have to do it myself.
Thinking about that made me feel kind of anxious. Maybe I’ve become more dependent on Yuna than I realized.
…Am I going to be okay?
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