Chapter 178: And then Iam End

After graduating, I devoted myself fully to raising my children. I made my debut at the park, took them to children's centers.

The two maternal and child health handbooks gradually filled with notes—records of their growth, immunizations, and little memos of questions I had along the way.

Back then, what weighed most on my mind wasn’t parenting itself, but my relationship with Souta and Hisui.

Hisui couldn’t come every day because of school, but she still visited a few times a week without fail.

Sometimes, I asked my mom to watch the kids, and Hisui and I would go out on dates. Now and then, we’d spend time together in the apartment where she’d left me a spare key.

Then, when Souta came home during a long vacation—

He invited me, and for the first time, we had sex without the pretext of making a baby.

I said it was to thank him, but really, I didn’t mind being wanted by Souta just because. Not one bit.

…Even though, yeah, I know how that sounds.

Souta and Hisui both knew about each other’s relationship with me, but even so, I found myself seriously wondering whether it was okay to keep going like this.

It was probably obvious to everyone that I was struggling, and eventually, the four of us—me, Hisui, Souta, and Yuna—sat down to talk.

The conclusion didn’t change. We’re a family. No matter what the world says, this is how we choose to live.

Even so, my doubts didn’t disappear.

But I felt like if I stopped questioning it altogether, that would be wrong in its own way. So I decided to carry those doubts with me.

In the end, I kept going with the relationships just like before…

Anyway, the kids kept growing.

The day they first spoke—

Alicia called me “Mama.” She was the first to start talking.

Incidentally, Alisa’s first word was “Kaasa(n),” what she called Hisui.

As their vocabulary grew, they began expressing their will through words. Alicia especially picked things up fast. Later, we discovered she had inherited perfect memory.

Eventually, they moved from single words to full sentences.

Being able to communicate made things easier in some ways, but not being understood became a source of frustration.

When we didn’t grasp what they wanted, they’d throw tantrums.

And when I wasn’t feeling well or was worn out, and they kept demanding things anyway—I honestly thought, please, give me a break.

Thankfully, our family was there to support me in those times. Without that, I probably would’ve snapped.

I came to truly appreciate having time to myself.

In the end, the only thing you can really do is patiently teach through repetition. Showing them how their actions affect our emotions. Trial and error, over and over.

Luckily, both girls were quick to turn knowledge into understanding, which made things a lot easier.

Every day revolved around the kids.

Bit by bit, life changed as they grew. They gradually learned to do things on their own.

Looking back, I’m amazed at how much they’ve grown.

Then came the new year, and with it, Coming-of-Age Day.

There were plenty of people getting prayers at the shrine, so usually I’d help out, but this time, I was one of the ones receiving a blessing.

Yuna and I had a prayer done in the morning, then attended the coming-of-age ceremony.

Both of us wore rented furisode, and the kids were excited to see us all dressed up for once.

…You’ll have to hold back on the hugs, okay?

I don’t mind snot or tears on my usual clothes, but this outfit’s expensive.

At the ceremony, I ran into old high school friends and other familiar faces who came up to talk to me.

Then February came, and I turned twenty.

Sometime after my birthday, I had a drink with my dad—just the two of us.

Beer still tasted bitter… but I was so happy to have fulfilled that promise, I cried. I think my dad cried too—probably.

After that, I started drinking once in a while. Only at home, since I had the kids to look after.

Usually, it was just a little cocktail now and then, but when Souta was back, we’d sometimes have drinking nights in my room.

But one of those nights… I got drunk and made a mistake.

Yuna was the first to pass out, then Hisui fell asleep, and I kept drinking with just Souta left.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but I felt this intense need for human warmth, and I clung to Souta as I drank.

That got him in the mood. I had no intention beyond a bit of cuddling, honestly.

But his touches started getting more suggestive, his hands wandering.

I kept telling him, “No, not here, everyone’s around.”

But then I started feeling good too, and I let myself get swept along.

And that’s when Hisui woke up—and everything turned into a mess.

Hisui and Souta started yelling at each other while still trying to get at me, and then Yuna joined in…

We all silently agreed to never bring up that night again.

The next morning, with a pounding hangover, I swore to myself to go easy on the alcohol.

When the girls turned three, they started preschool.

They were twins, but didn’t look much alike.

Alicia had long silver hair and was the shortest in her class.

She was curious about everything, always eager to explore anything that caught her eye, and quick to make new friends.

She loved TV—not just cartoons, but even watched the news with this oddly serious face.

Alisa, on the other hand, had long black hair in twin tails and was one of the taller kids.

She was quiet, spoke little, and rarely approached others on her own.

Still, since Alicia always dragged her into group play, she wasn’t isolated or anything.

Apparently, her favorite character was some hippo background character in the Anpan show… Why?

Alicia took after me, but Alisa looked so much like Hisui as a child.

I’m sure a lot of the other moms at preschool thought Alisa was Hisui’s daughter.

Preschool kept me surprisingly busy—between events, parent meetings, and lunches, it was hard to keep up with all the social stuff.

Most of the other moms were over ten years older than me, and when it came to talking about family… Well, mine’s a bit unusual. I’m not hiding anything, but yeah, of course people are shocked.

People are probably gossiping about us in all sorts of ways… but as long as it doesn’t negatively affect the kids, I really don’t care what anyone says.

It seems some kids even said it’s unfair that our daughters have two moms…

For reference, the girls call me “Mama”, and they call Hisui “Kaasan” (Mom).

Yuna, for a while, tried to get them to call her “Kaachan”, but she eventually gave up on calling herself their mother at all.

She finally managed to detach from her big brother, it seems, and decided to take a different path from the rest of our family.

Now she tells the girls to call her “Yuna-nee” (Big Sister Yuna).

There was one time the girls found out what the correct family relationship was and called Yuna oba-san—“aunt.”

She gave them such a terrifyingly sweet smile as she corrected them that they never used that word again.

Time passed, and Souta graduated from university. He started working at the family shrine as Uncle Mitsuhiro’s successor.

Hisui also secured a job at a local company.

With that as a turning point, the five of us—me, Souta, Hisui, Alisa, and Alicia—formally discussed our future.

As a result, we were officially recognized as a family.

We moved into the newly renovated shrine office at Souta’s family home.

These days, I handle housework and parenting, and when things get busy, I help out with shrine duties too.

Thanks to rumors about me being some sort of good-luck charm for matchmaking, I ended up on local TV as a “famous silver-haired shrine maiden.”

The next year, the girls graduated from preschool and entered elementary school.

They looked so adorable with their backpacks on.

One day, when I was alone, I randomly tried one on—and it suited me a little too well. I stared into the mirror in horror. No one must ever see that.

The girls are growing up to be reliable and strong.

Alisa and Alicia have grown at different paces, but they balance each other out beautifully.

Alicia is cheerful and outgoing, not shy around strangers at all. Alisa is more reserved, careful to observe before she acts. Together, they complement each other’s weaknesses so well that I can just watch them with peace of mind.

If there’s anything I still worry about… it’s the magic.

Yes, my daughters have magical potential.

I first realized it when they innocently showed me a trick—“Look, Mama!”—and conjured up water with a spell. I praised them while gently reminding them never to show that to anyone else.

I agonized over whether or not to teach them magic.

Maybe it’d be better if they never learned. We had many long family discussions about it.

These days, the risk of magic being discovered has become even more serious.

Especially now that it’s confirmed to be hereditary.

But magic is incredibly useful.

In life-threatening situations—like accidents or getting lost—it could mean the difference between life and death. That advantage couldn’t be ignored.

There was also the danger that, without guidance, they could use magic improperly and trigger a magical surge. So in the end, we decided it was better to teach them properly.

I spoke seriously with the girls about keeping magic secret, and I trust them to be careful—or at least, I want to believe they will be.

After that, I began teaching them magic myself.

Naturally, Alicia had an affinity for the water element.

Alisa, to our surprise, had a natural aptitude for all elements.

I taught them what I’d learned from the elemental priests and shrine maidens I had once trained with.

There’s one element I haven’t been taught, but I have no intention of contacting that man.

That man—Aymok—hasn’t shown his face or left any trace since the day Alicia’s soul was transferred. I have no idea what he’s doing now.

More time passed, and the girls graduated elementary school and entered junior high.

Both of them, now entering adolescence.

Even without a mother’s bias, they’re objectively beautiful girls, and they’ve earned a solid reputation among part-time shrine maidens and visitors for helping out each morning in their miko outfits.

Alicia has grown up to be the spitting image of her in the old days.

In other words—she looks just like a young me. We’re often mistaken for sisters.

I haven’t grown much since high school, so Alicia and I are nearly the same height (I’m still 1 cm taller). Even now, nearing thirty, I still get asked for ID every time I buy alcohol.

As for Alisa, she seems to be more in sync with Hisui than with me, her biological mother.

She’s also often mistaken for Hisui’s younger sister.

Alisa’s so mature in how she carries herself that people don’t even realize she’s still a middle schooler.

In both height and bust, Alisa surpassed me back when she was still in elementary school.

It’s not something I usually care much about, but the one time I was mistaken for her younger sister, I couldn’t help but feel a little indignant.

Their bodies are transitioning from childhood to graceful, feminine forms.

And then comes their first periods.

As a mother, I wanted to welcome them to the club—been through it all myself, I'm a seasoned pro at dealing with it every month.

I figured I’d be the one giving them advice… but turns out, Alisa went to Hisui, and Alicia asked Alisa.

All I got to do was cook the traditional red rice. That was it.

And then, when Alicia turned fourteen, something unexpected happened.

She regained her memories from before she was born.

She woke up one morning, pale-faced, and told me what had happened—apologizing over and over.

She was clearly shaken, so I let her skip school and told her to rest in her room.

Later, I brought hot cocoa and cookies and sat down with her to talk.

The first thing I did was apologize to her—and then, as her mother, I told her how grateful I was to have watched her grow up. I told her, “Thank you for being born.”

Alicia responded formally, saying, “Thank you for giving birth to me and raising me.”

That reminded me—she used to speak politely to everyone. It wasn’t until after she was born that she began speaking more casually. Still, having your daughter speak to you in formal language feels a little lonely.

All at once, Alicia had recalled a lifetime more than double the one she'd lived so far, and she was clearly overwhelmed. I think her perfect memory only made it worse.

I spoke with her briefly, then left the room so she could calm down on her own.

At lunch, I brought a meal to her room and we talked a bit more. I did the same at dinner, bringing her food and simply waiting for her to settle herself.

Then Alisa accused us of being cold.

It wasn’t her fault—she didn’t know what was going on.

The next day, Alicia stayed home from school again. When I brought her food and drinks, we talked more than the day before.

About the time when I was still Ikuto.

About the time after I became Alice.

And about the time Alicia became my daughter.

When it came to the soul transfer, she did scold me. All I could do was apologize.

But she also thanked me. She told me how much fun she'd had as my daughter. How happy she’d been to experience so many things with us. That being part of a family was something warm and wonderful beyond anything she’d ever imagined.

She laughed, cried, and then laughed again.

It seems she told Alisa everything.

Alisa was shocked, of course, but she accepted it surprisingly quickly.

She said something like, “Well, it’s not like our family ever acted normal, and we can use magic, so it’s not that strange if there’s another world or two out there.”

When Alicia apologized for stealing her real sister away, Alisa hugged her and said, “You’re the only sister I’ve ever had.”

In fact, Alisa even said she wouldn’t have been born at all if Alicia hadn’t been there.

Apparently, the two of them cried as they hugged.

Hearing that made me truly feel they’d both grown up into such good girls.

Once Alicia had calmed down, she formally greeted her father, Souta, and her foster mother, Hisui.

She and Yuna hugged tightly, happy to be reunited. They had always treated each other like friends, but now, with Alicia’s memories restored, it was like they had been best friends all along.

From that point on, Alicia was noticeably calmer, no doubt thanks to the memories and experiences she’d regained.

I was also a little concerned about how Alisa would take all this—after all, she was still in middle school—but she seemed to accept it without much issue.

She said it was because she knew how much we loved and cared for her.

We’d always made a point to treat them both equally, so they’d never feel like there was any favoritism. That made me happy to hear.

The only real change was that Alicia started calling me “Ikuto-san” again when we were alone, just like before, and she began to cling to me a bit more.

Then, one day—

Alicia was in a terrible mood.

Even before her memories returned, Alicia had known about the relationship between me, Souta, and Hisui. After regaining her memories, she never said anything about it.

But the moment she became consciously aware that I was actually being intimate with them, she couldn’t take it.

The night before, I had spent the evening with Souta.

And then Alicia came to me, saying she wanted to spend the night with me.

Honestly, I was at a loss.

There was no question that Alicia was someone precious to me. But I had always treated her as my daughter, so I couldn’t see her as a sexual partner anymore.

Alicia tried to justify it in all sorts of ways and pushed hard, but I stood my ground, saying firmly that I was her mother, and I couldn’t do that with my daughter. She reluctantly gave up.

Terrifyingly, she had apparently already gotten permission from Souta and Hisui—and even enlisted Yuna’s help.

Of course, she’d consulted Alisa too.

When I casually asked Alisa how she felt about it, she told me, “Don’t worry, I don’t have any abnormal kinks.”

She already knew about the relationship among the three of us, and said she wasn’t going to be shocked by anything our family did at this point.

It’s complicated, but I’m just relieved Alisa didn’t go off the rails. That makes me happy as a mom.

On the contrary, she ended up pitying me, saying, “You’ve had it rough, haven’t you, Mom…”

Well… yeah, I have. But I told her I was happy, because all of it led me to meeting the two of them. That was the truth.

—And then summer arrived.

We decided to go to the beach together.

Riding in a car that Souta would be driving.

There’s a promise I never managed to keep.

Just a simple one—to go swimming in the ocean together.

It wasn’t anything particularly special.

More like a bit of unfinished summer homework.

To be fair, we’ve gone to the beach many times since the two of them were born, so in a way, you could say we already fulfilled it.

But still, being able to come here with Alicia, now that her memories have returned, makes it feel deeply meaningful.

A lot has changed since back then—but the time we’ve shared has always been connected.

And from now on, it always will be.

Epilogue: Between the Sky and the Sea

"...Where am I?"

Where was this again?

My memories were hazy. Probably because I’d been dreaming about the past.

About that year or so I spent sharing a body with Alicia.

“It’s already been more than ten years since then…”

Looking back, so much has happened since that time. There were moments I nearly broke, but thanks to everyone who stood by me, I somehow made it through.

And now I remember. The place I’m in—this beach, just fifteen minutes by car from home—was the very spot where I returned from the other world.

“Maybe that’s why I had that dream.”

As I lay on the beach chair and lowered my gaze, the sea came into view. Unlike back then, the sandy shore was now dotted with colorful umbrellas and tents, bustling with people.

“I never thought I’d come back here again.”

A girl spoke beside me.

“We’ve visited a few times before, though.”

“Even so… it’s different.”

Her small hands clutched tightly at her chest. Long silver hair spilled from beneath her straw hat and fluttered in the breeze.

“…We finally fulfilled our promise.”

“Yeah.”

It was a simple promise. Nothing grand.
But to us, it meant everything.

“I’m so lucky… I’ve always been happy. But because of that, I put you through so much. Do you… regret it?”

“Not at all.”

I denied it without hesitation.
Sure, it really was tough in a lot of ways…
But I’ve never once regretted it.

“—!”

A voice called out to us from the beach. I sat up and waved back. Then I stood and turned to her.

“…Shall we go?”

“Yes!”

We started walking, side by side.
Looking at the same world—but each of us seeing it just a little differently.

There were things that changed, things that were lost.
But what we gained far outweighed them all.

A brilliant light shone down on us.
And through it, we walked—toward the sea.