Chapter 46: Becoming a Woman (Part 5)

After disconnecting from the mental link with Alicia, I went downstairs and knocked on the sliding doors of the guestroom.

“Dad, do you have a moment?”

“…Alice? Yeah, come on in.”

I slid the door open and stepped into the room.

It was an eight-mat tatami room, with a small chabudai set up in the center. My father was seated in front of it, working on a laptop.

The first thing I noticed upon entering was the scent of incense.

“…Are you burning incense?”

The family altar in the room was mine—or rather, Kisaragi Ikuto’s. Naturally, it was empty inside.

“Hm? Oh, that. I figured if I didn’t burn any, it’d seem suspicious.”

“I see. For a second, I thought you were holding a memorial for the ‘me’ who used to be a guy… Since I’ve had my first period and all, I’m pretty much fully a girl now.”

I let out a sigh as I said it.

“That’s rare—hearing you complain about your body. …Are you sure this is okay?”

“Yeah. Alicia’s already cut the sync and gone to bed. That’s why… I was wondering if I could talk to you about something.”

“Of course. Just give me a sec.”

With that, Dad closed his laptop, stood up, and left the room. I could hear some sounds from the living room—it seemed like he went to get something.

When he came back, he was carrying a tray with beer and snacks—a little late-night drinking set.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Well, just humor me a bit, will you?”

He handed me a canned drink that looked like beer, but it was clearly non-alcoholic.

“I’m not really into bitter stuff, though…”

Back when I was still Ikuto, I’d tried beer-like drinks out of curiosity a few times, but I never found them particularly tasty.

…Well, it’s not undrinkable, I guess.

I popped the tab open with a hiss.

“Cheers.”

Our cans met with a dull clink. For the record, Dad’s was the real deal—an actual beer.

I brought the can to my lips.

“Ugh, bitter…”

I swallowed the liquid and grimaced at the harsh aftertaste. Somehow, I seemed even more sensitive to bitterness than I was when I had Ikuto’s body.

Meanwhile, Dad took a big swig of his beer and exhaled with satisfaction.

“Ahhh! Nothing beats that first sip!”

“…How can you even find something this bitter tasty…”

…I wonder how Alicia would react to this?

The image of Alicia making a sour face popped into my mind, and I couldn’t help but smile a little.

I reached into the snack bag and pulled out a handful of mixed nuts.

The saltiness that lingered in my mouth actually paired well with the beer, leaving a crisp, refreshing sensation—but the bitter aftertaste still didn’t sit right with me.

Dad watched my reactions with an amused look, beer in hand.

“…Can’t help it. This body seems more sensitive to bitterness than mine was when I was Ikuto. Anyway, Dad—about that thing I wanted to talk to you about…”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Feeling a little embarrassed, I dove into the main topic to cover it up.

“I’m scared… I was a guy, and even after becoming Alicia, I kept telling myself I was still me. That nothing had changed.”

I looked down at the can in my hand as I spoke. My current hands were small and delicate—they made the can look huge.

“But before I realized it, my preferences and how I felt about things started changing. And now, I’m scared that I might not be ‘me’ anymore…”

Dad took another sip of beer, then thought for a moment before speaking.

“You know, you’re already pretty different from the high school boy you were last year, and even more from the person who came back from that other world, don’t you think?”

“Yeah… I think I’ve changed a lot.”

The harsh experiences over the past year had definitely affected my personality.

“Then let me ask you this—do you think both versions of you are still you?”

Dad posed a strange question.

“Yeah, no doubt about it. I remember everything that led to those changes, after all.”

“Then doesn’t that settle it?”

“…Huh?”

“No matter how much you change, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still you.”

“…But right now, I feel like I’m changing from the inside out. Like my mind’s being reshaped by my body without me even realizing it. I might even start liking men someday.”

“That sort of thing happened when you were a guy, too, didn’t it? Once puberty hit and your body started producing sperm, your mind began craving women in sync with your body’s urges. Guys are just as ruled by their biology. The only difference now is that it’s a uterus instead. You’re still being influenced by your body either way.”

“…Are you really okay with the idea that I might end up getting embraced by a man? I mean… I could end up having a child with one.”

“I get why the you who used to be a guy would be worried about that. But the one who makes that choice will be the you in the future. And not every woman ends up liking men anyway. If you still end up liking girls, that’s fine too, isn’t it?”

“…But if that happens, you and Mom won’t get to see your grandchild.”

“As a parent, what matters most is their kid’s happiness. We know the joy of raising children, so of course we want to recommend it—and sure, we’d love to see a grandkid. But all of that only matters if you’re happy. It’s your life. You should live it the way you want to.”

“…Happiness, huh.”

I should live my life the way I want to.

Those words from Dad felt like they lifted a heavy weight that had been pressing on my chest.

“…So, be honest—what’s it like, having a girl’s body? You gotten used to it yet?”

Suddenly changing his tone, Dad asked something totally out of left field.

What a pervy old man.

“…It’s not bad.”

I murmured the words quietly in reply.

“Yeah? Yeah. Being able to mess around with the body of the girl you like however you want—that’s a rare kind of experience.”

Come to think of it, this was pretty much how Dad had always been with me when I was his son.

He’d held back since I got back from the other world because Alicia was always around, apparently.

“Now I’ve got free access to the women’s bath, too. Jealous?”

“Nice one… Though now that you mention it, if the whole family goes to a hot spring, I’d be the only one in the men’s bath.”

“If you don’t mind the family bath, we could go together. Well, I’m sure Yuna would hate that, though…”

“You’re serious? Then maybe we should plan a family hot spring trip sometime.”

“I’ll wash your back for you again sometime. It’s been a while.”

“Now that’s something to look forward to.”

A quiet pause followed after that. We both sat in silence, sipping our drinks and nibbling on snacks.

There was no awkwardness—because we were family.

“You know,” Dad suddenly said, “someday, you might find even that bitter beer tastes good. People change like that.”

I took another sip of the beer-flavored drink in my hand—and, yeah, it still just tasted bitter to me. I couldn’t imagine a day when I’d actually find this stuff enjoyable.

“But no matter what happens, the fact that you’re my son doesn’t change… even now, with you in a girl’s body.”

Dad tipped back his beer, drinking the rest in one go. Then he set the empty can on the table and looked at me with a serious expression.

“So remember this: It’s always been my dream to share a real drink with my son… When you’re old enough to drink, I want you to have one with me. That’s a promise—from man to man.”

He thrust out his clenched right fist toward me.

“…Yeah. I promise.”

I bumped my own fist gently against his.

“…Thanks, Dad.”

I didn’t know what the future held.

But whether I’m a man or a woman, I’m still me. I’m still my parents’ child, still Yuna’s sibling, still Ikuto—and also Alice.

Who I am is built from everything I’ve lived through so far.

So now… I think I’ll be okay.