+18 What If

Note: This is just a 'What If' scenario, so it might ruin the wholesome vibe of the story for many. If you're comfortable with what you're about to read, go ahead... It's a little bit depressing.

Well, given this author's backstory with tragic tales, it's no wonder they were itching to write something like that... Maybe they even considered deciding on this 'What If' as the actual ending of the story.

---

"I’ll do anything you want, Peter."

Michelle said that aloud.

A breath slipped out of me before I realized it.

I couldn’t understand what she was saying, so I just went silent.

Ignoring my confusion, Michelle continued.

"Anything at all… if that’s what you want… you can do whatever you like with me."

My heart skipped, and I couldn’t look at her straight on.

Anything? Anything… like that?

"T-That’s not okay, Michelle… if you say something like that! I’m still a guy, and—"

"It’s fine. If it’s you, Peter, it’s fine."

Her slender white fingers laced with mine.

Her eyes grew warmer, almost feverish, as they met mine.

I could feel her breath.

"I’ll do anything for you."

I… I—

I pulled her into an embrace.

"D-Don’t go anywhere… Michelle."

"……"

"No matter who you are… I… I love you."

"…Peter."

Michelle’s hand wrapped around my back. I knew she was hugging me back.

"…It’s okay, Peter."

I lifted my face at her words.

So close our faces could almost touch, I felt her breath again.

"If you’ll love me."

"…Michelle."

Our lips met.

Whether she was a villain, whether she was Redcap—it didn’t matter anymore.

I just loved her, and I wanted to be with her.

Turning away from the inconvenient truth, from everything—just to see only her.

The moon shone beautifully, but clouds… slowly began to hide it.

---

Hand in hand, Michelle and I walked back to the same old apartment.

I couldn’t let go.

If I did, I was afraid she’d disappear.

Even at the doors of our neighboring rooms, I couldn’t release her hand.

"…Peter?"

"S-Sorry…"

I knew I had to let go, but I couldn’t.

I understood, but I didn’t.

Why was she—

Why was I—

Michelle smiled gently.

"Mhm, it’s okay. Tonight, I’ll sleep with you."

"W-Wait… that’s—"

I was shocked, and yet… I remembered her words: "I’ll do anything for you." So I nodded.

"…Thank you."

"No, I should thank you… I didn’t want to sleep alone tonight either."

Still hand in hand, we entered my room together.

Side by side on the bed, our hands stayed clasped.

…Anxious, tense.

My heart pounded.

Because I loved her… and because the thought of her leaving terrified me.

"…Peter, why don’t you take a shower?"

"Ah, y-yeah. You’re right…"

Reluctantly, I let go of her hand and headed for the shower.

I stripped off my casual prom suit and cooled my flushed body under the water.

…Deep breath.

It’s okay.

She’s not going to disappear right now.

…I’ll hear her out, help her. That’s something only I can do.

I turned off the water, dried myself, and changed into pajamas.

"I’m done, Michelle."

"Okay, then I’ll go next."

In her usual manner… nothing about her resembled that blood-soaked mask.

But the truth was… yesterday, I hit her in the face.

Until she was covered in blood… I even felt bones crack beneath my fists, and I didn’t stop.

"Peter?"

"Uh—ah, what is it?"

"No, it’s fine. I’m fine."

Michelle brushed my cheek as she passed, smiling.

But was that smile… truly from her heart?

…I loved her.

Even if she did terrible things in the shadows, I still loved her.

Even if it twisted what it meant to be everyone’s friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

I still wanted to be with her.

Water ran in the shower.

I clutched the watch-shaped suit on my wrist.

It wasn’t justice.

As a hero, I was failing.

But I wanted to stay with the person I loved.

If she was gone, I couldn’t live.

One year.

We’d only been together for one year.

But I loved her so much, it rewrote the life I’d lived until now.

The bathroom door opened.

…One worry arose.

She was still wearing her black prom dress.

I’d need to get her something to sleep in—

"…Peter."

I was about to say something when she came out of the bathroom.

…Wrapped in just a bath towel.

"W-Wait! I’ll grab you some pajamas—"

"Peter."

While I panicked, Michelle stepped closer.

Her bare, wet skin glistened, pulling at my eyes.

"M-Michelle?"

"Do you still love me, Peter?"

Her eyes fixed on me.

They were frightened.

Clinging.

I… nodded.

"I do."

"……"

"More than anyone else… so much that nothing else matters. No matter what happens…"

"...I see."

Her eyes reflected joy.

Her beautiful lips curved into a faint smile.
There was a loveliness to it, and a strange allure.

And then, those lips formed words.

"I like you too, Peter."

"...R-really? I'm... really happy."

He should have been able to rejoice from the bottom of his heart.
But when he thought of all her uncertainties, and the suffering that surrounded her... it was painful.
He wanted to be happy, yet it felt like someone had thrown water... no, filthy mud, on that feeling.

"So, Peter..."

Her soft skin touched his hand.

"Hold me."

He understood her words.
But his brain refused to comprehend them.

"...Michelle."

"Please, Peter. Don't... don't say anything..."

As if clinging to him, as if begging... Michelle asked him to hold her.
If that would make her happy... then he would, he would... obey.

He nodded to her words.

He would never, ever forget the look on her face at that moment.

---

He looked down at Michelle, lying naked on the bed.

Her beautiful neck, the two firm, gentle swells of her breasts, her beautiful skin.
She was more beautiful than he had imagined... and it enticed him.
There was a fearsomely bewitching, girlish physical beauty there.

The pure white sheets seemed to make him hesitate to touch them.
It was as if he feared that his touch would stain that purity.

"Peter, hurry..."

"Y-yeah..."

But he didn't know what to do.
All the knowledge he had came from a few adult magazines.

He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, and as he stood frozen—

Michelle's hand grabbed his.

"You don't have to be scared."

"...Michelle."

"Touch... wherever you want...?"

Guided by her... he touched her breast.

It was incredibly soft.
And the 'special feeling' of touching a part of her no one else had ever touched heightened his emotions.
As if to confirm she was really there, he touched her with his hand.

"...Yes, l-like that."

"...Yeah."

Breathing heavily without even realizing it, he touched her.
He hadn't known they were this soft.
He hadn't known she was this delicate.

And then... his fingers touched her lower abdomen.
Below that was—

"...It's okay, touch it."

Her secret place was there.
He traced it with his finger.

"Mh..."

While slightly bewildered by the first live female genitals he'd ever seen... he traced them.

"Ah..."

Every time he touched that delicate part, she let out a sensual sound.
...Before he knew it, his own manhood was large and hard.
He pressed and kneaded the swell of her vulva with his finger.

"Mh, mh..."

"...I-Is this okay?"

He couldn't help but ask anxiously, in a pathetic voice... scared she might be disillusioned with him.

"...A little more... I want you to touch... further inside."

Hearing that, he spread her labia... with his finger.
He saw the inside, a beautiful pink color.

"...Put your finger in?"

He nodded... and inserted his middle finger into her hole.
It squeezed him tightly, kuukyuu, and his heart raced.

"Nnh, a little more... up... deeper."

Following her guidance, he touched... and found it.

"Mh, uh, there... right there... it feels... really good..."

He pressed with his finger—

"Nnh!"

Rubbed it—

"Ah!"

And moved it.

"...Mh, that's enough... I'm wet now."

When I pulled my finger out... a sticky fluid clung to it.

Her arousal.

That unique scent had my cock so engorged with blood I could barely stand it. Veins bulged, hard.

"...I-I'll go get a condom."

Just as I started to get up, Michelle grabbed my hand.
I turned back, surprised, and she narrowed her eyes... tracing my lip with her finger.

"We don't need one."

"B-but..."

The risk of disease, pregnancy.
Reasons we should use one flooded my mind—

"Peter..."

Michelle lay back and spread her own labia.
I was transfixed by that fanning gesture.

"Please."

"G...ah..."

Like a moth drawn to a flame, I was pulled toward her—
I pressed my cock against her entrance.

"...A little lower..."

Her breath grew ragged.

"Mmm... there..."

My sex entered her.

A slippery, wet sensation.
A tight, squeezing pressure.
Her folds entangled me, stimulating my shaft.

"Mmph, yes, just like that..."

"Ugh, nngh..."

I strained to hold back my voice.
The sensation of being stretched open transmitted directly to my brain.

Blood dripped from where we were joined.

"Ah..."

"It's okay... it's okay, just like that..."

She said this, enduring the pain of her deflowering.

It was her first time.
I was... the first one she had accepted.

Feeling a happiness that filled my brain and a guilt for defiling something pure... I gave in to my lust and pushed my penis deeper inside her.

And then, finally—

"Nngh, ah!"

I reached deep within her.
A pleasurable sensation ran down my spine.
Her vagina clenched around me, painfully tight.

In this euphoria, and this new, overwhelming stimulation... I—

"Gh-ah..."

I came.
I spilled my seed inside her.
Panic and a sense of crisis screamed in my mind that I had to stop... but I couldn't halt the生理现象 (physiological reaction).

As I pulsed inside her, Michelle looked at my face.

"Peter..."

"Ugh... S-sorry."

Pathetic.
Embarrassing.

She had bared her body to me, even though she must have been scared, even though she was nervous... and I couldn't last.

I was utterly useless.

...She touched my face.

"...Can you still go?"

"...!"

She said that.
...Even while inside her vagina, my penis... remained erect.

"...Yeah."

"Then... just keep going?"

It was a tantalizing, brain-melting诱惑 (temptation).
And I... obeyed.

I moved my hips slowly.
...It felt incredibly good.

But Michelle seemed to be in a little pain.

"...A-are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, so... you can go harder, it's fine."

"B-but..."

Michelle reached out, pulling my face to hers.

"Make me so crazy... I'll never be able to forget you?"

Our lips met.
Our tongues intertwined.
We devoured each other, making lewd, wet sounds.

I thrust my hips, stirring up the mix of semen and her fluids within her.

"Mmm, nngh..."

Holding her slender body close... I took her.
We broke our passionate kiss, gasping for air.

"Hah, hah..."
"I-it's good... Peter, just like that..."

Sweat and fluids mingled, staining the sheets.

But none of that mattered anymore.

"Michelle, Michelle...!"

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

"Nngh, Peter... Peter...!"

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

Pouring out my affection, I greedily took her, driven by base desire.
I laid her on the bed, spread her legs... and claimed her.

Her disheveled face showed an expression I'd never seen before... brimming with euphoria.

...A pleasure incomparable to before washed over me.

"...Michelle, I... I'm almost..."

"It's okay, nngh, Peter... ah, nn... Come inside me."

Gasping, I quickened the pace of my thrusts.
I drove into her harder.

Schlick, schlick - obscene sounds echoed through the room.
Mingling our sweat, mingling semen and fluids... we joined so fiercely we seemed to be melting into one messy, drooling whole.

And then, I grabbed her hips—

"Ugh, nngh..."

And came deep inside her, in her deepest place.
As if marking her with everything left in my body... I released.

"...Nn."

When I pulled my penis out... white semen overflowed from where we had just been connected.

Seeing that sight... I found myself thinking... if she got pregnant... maybe she'd stay with me forever...
I was so tormented by anxiety that I couldn't help but think that.

…Immediately after, I felt a floating sensation.

Maybe it was because I hadn’t slept the night before… exhaustion finally caught up with me, and my mind went blank.

Michelle caught me as I collapsed.

"Mi…chelle…"

"…Peter, thank you."

She held me close. Words of gratitude… yet they only made me uneasy.

"T…ogether, we—"

"…I’m sorry. That’s… impossible."

With fading vision, I looked up at Michelle. Drops were falling.

They were her tears.

"…Michelle, I—"

Ignoring my words, Michelle kissed me.

A sharp sting pricked my back.

I didn’t know what kind of pain it was. But I felt my willpower, which had been desperately fighting to stay awake, sink rapidly into sleep.

"…I just wanted… to protect you…"

"…I love you. No… I loved you, Peter."

As darkness swallowed me, the last thing I saw was her forcing a smile through her streaming tears—her heartbreakingly sorrowful smile.

That was the final image I ever saw… of her.

---

Her grave lies in a cemetery in New York.

…That day, when I woke up, she was gone.

And a few days later… Mr. Stark told me she had died.

Apparently, there had been a bomb in her heart, and it detonated.

The Avengers had known about Michelle for some time… and a large-scale operation had been launched to try and save her.

But even so, they couldn’t.

I only learned about it afterward. Mr. Stark apologized to me.

With a worn, haggard face, he told me they couldn’t save the one I loved. That was when I truly understood it was all over.

I nearly lashed out at him with cruel words… but I swallowed them.

Because I had done nothing. I couldn’t do anything.

I had failed to live up to the responsibility that comes with great power.

I said I wanted to be with her, but I turned my eyes away.

So this… this was my responsibility. My fault.

I cried for days, broke down, and spent my time powerless, doing nothing.

I wasn’t even able to see her body.

Mr. Stark told me her torso had been torn apart—unrecognizable.

Still, I begged and pleaded until they allowed me to have a grave built for her. Normally, without relatives, she would’ve been buried in a communal grave… but I insisted I would take care of it.

I turned my gaze to the tombstone.

"R.I.P. Rest in Peace"
"MICHELL JONES"

That was what was engraved on her headstone.

I placed a single flower down and stood up.

…Happy memories burned into my mind. Yet now, they only hurt.

My dried tear ducts ached.

What… what should I have done?

I replayed it over and over again in my head.

…I had made so many wrong choices.

And the result was her death.

If God exists, He should have punished me. Not her—me.

…With trembling hands, I caressed the tombstone.

It was cold and hard.

Just once more would have been enough—I wanted to see her again.

I wanted her to scold me. I wanted her to smile.

I wanted to confess everything in my heart.

But none of that would ever come true.

I clenched my fists.

When my uncle died, I swore I’d never make the same mistake again.

But I made it again.

What a hopeless human being I am.

…I tried to push strength into my legs to stand.

But I couldn’t.

I, I—

"…You’re in the way. I can’t even place flowers."

"…Ah—s-sorry… I’ll move right away…"

I turned around… and there stood a man with pale blond hair and cobalt blue eyes.

I had seen him before—at the Halloween party. Someone who looked a little like Michelle.

Why… is he here—

The man laid flowers at Michelle’s grave. Jet-black flowers.

"You are…"

"…Her relative."

My eyes widened. My dry lips closed tight.

He prayed for a moment.

I didn’t know what he truly felt for the departed Michelle. But I could sense that he cherished her.

I should have been suspicious of a man claiming to be a relative when I’d been told she had none.

But when I saw his expression, I couldn’t accuse him.

It was the face of someone who had lost everything.

The same face I saw in the mirror every morning.

"…You’re not asking me anything."

Without looking at me, the man spoke.

"No… I don’t have the right to ask."

"…I see."

He stood and turned to me.

His face, a storm of conflicting emotions, locked on mine—

—and then he punched me.

The blow to my cheek sent me staggering into the trees behind me.

"…Honestly, I’d rather kill you. But I’m the same as you—trash who couldn’t do anything."

His voice shook as he spoke.

"And she loved you… so I’ll let it go with this. If you want to hit me back, go ahead."

"N-no… I…"

"…Maybe that wasn’t very fair. Spider-Man."

At his muttered words, my eyes widened… then I clenched my trembling fists and looked down.

"I don’t call myself that anymore."

"…Did it break?"

"A guy who can’t even protect the girl he loves… and calls himself a hero—"

He punched me again.

I collapsed to the ground, biting into the taste of dirt.

"Ugh…"

"I said I’d forgive you earlier… but I’m sorry. I hit you again."

The man grabbed the hem of my shirt and forced me to stand.

"…ah…"

"I was probably the last one to speak with her. Do you know what her final words were?"

I met his cobalt-blue eyes, so much like Michelle’s. He was glaring, but it didn’t feel like hatred.

"It was about you. Peter Parker. Spider-Man. You. You were the last thing on her mind."

"M…me…"

"That’s right. Not anyone else—she spoke of you."

His grip on my collar loosened, and I steadied myself on the ground.

"Do you think it was bitterness? Regret? Anger? No… she was worried about you."

"…Michelle…"

My eyes drifted to the grave. In my mind, I saw the face I would never see again.

"‘With great power comes great responsibility’… and even if it costs you your life, she wanted you to stand back up. That’s what she said."

"…Ah…"

"She said this at her dying breath! She asked me, not anyone else, to pass the message to you…! That’s why—you must stand up!"

My heart trembled.

"She never wanted to become your burden… but I don’t want you to forget her either! If you did, then none of it would mean anything!"

His face twisted—shouting, crying, almost breaking apart—as he exhaled deeply.

"This is me lashing out. But don’t forget her. Please… I don’t have the right to say it, but still… I’m begging you."

With those words, he staggered out of the cemetery, leaving me alone before Michelle’s headstone.

…I remembered.

The hero she loved.

The words just spoken.

Great responsibility.

I looked down at the watch-shaped suit wrapped around my wrist.

Michelle.
I understand.

I’ll stand up again.
I’ll try a little longer.

To remain the hero you loved.

In your place—because I couldn’t save you—I’ll save as many others as I can.

From now on… I’ll fight for those in need.

I’ll use the great power I’ve been given, never making the same mistake again… as a hero.

Because I am—

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.