Chapter 68: Breach

It wasn’t so much me—rather, it was Reicia-chan—who, barely sparing a goodbye to Kamijou-san and the others, rushed off toward the venue for the next event.

Kamijou-san and the others said something as we parted, but honestly, I couldn’t focus on that now. Unfolding a Crack, racing through the air, ignoring the burn in my lungs, I reached the Tokiwadai waiting room—and that’s when the strangeness was already there.

A sizeable number of Tokiwadai students were gathered outside the waiting room. Almost as if… they’d been shut out. The moment they noticed us arriving, all their eyes turned toward us at once. …It wasn’t just the sudden focus that bothered me. There was something… off about it. Something familiar.

"…Um, what’s going on here?"

"…………Ah."

I tried asking one of them, but the girl I spoke to quickly looked away, a guilty expression on her face. And then I realized it. …This was the same thing as back then, in my previous life. The same look people gave me—friends, coworkers, hospital staff—after they found out I had terminal cancer. Like something invisible had draped itself over the very existence called “me,” blocking everything out.

"Reicia, Shiren-san."

"…………Misaka-san."

It was Misaka-san who called out to us. Her expression was clouded with concern. She must have already heard about that incident. As someone directly involved, I suppose she had a lot on her mind.

I fought down the urge to get emotional and looked around. Just as I thought… they weren’t here. Now I was sure what that earlier unease had been. The GMDW members… weren’t here. This strange atmosphere, and the fact that everyone was standing outside the waiting room…

"…Hmm. I was a little worried, but from the look of you, you’re still calm… for now."

Misaka-san shrugged as she said it. She was trying to sound playful, but her voice was still stiff.

"As you’ve guessed, they’re all inside. They were in pretty bad spirits, so I thought I’d let them be for now. …You go talk to them. As for me…"

Her voice trailed off. She lowered her head quietly. And then, as if spitting out blood, she said:

"…I don’t have the right to do that."

"Th–That’s…"

I was about to say, “That’s not true,” but the words Index had told me earlier came back to me, and I shut my mouth. Because the only one who gets to decide whether that’s true or not is Reicia-chan herself. Me… at least when it comes to the suicide attempt, I’m just “the outsider who found out later.” That’s her feeling alone, something I have no right to define.

"That’s cowardly of you, Misaka Mikoto."

"!"

In my place, Reicia-chan answered sharply.

"I’m not telling you to brazen it out, nor am I saying it’s not harsh… but at the very least, hold your head high. Tell yourself you did the right thing."

"R–Right…?! But the fact is, because of me, you—"

"I—!!!"

Reicia-chan’s voice rang out, cutting her off mid-sentence. Every Tokiwadai student in the corridor turned to look at her in surprise. Maybe that was her intention all along—because she then threw her next words at them all, like spitting them out:

"…I stand here today because of that setback. There was nothing along the way that I didn’t need. Everything was necessary to make me who I am. I can say, without hesitation, that among all possible parallel worlds, this one—this me—is the happiest future. So there’s no need for you to feel any guilt. …Not that you seem to agree."

Her words brimmed with a boiling fury—and Misaka-san instinctively stepped back. But… I don’t think that was the real reason. Reicia-chan, that last line you said just now…

Chapter 1 – No Such Thing as a Barrel Maker’s Wind — Psicopics
Episode 57: Breach — Pure_Heart

Honestly, I’d already hit my limit a long time ago.

Because for me, that alone had been enough.

A new life, a new beginning, a new future. That was enough. Just being allowed to walk alongside it was all I needed—so much so that I felt I didn’t need anything else.

And yet, all of a sudden, there was my relationship with Kamijou-san, my own feelings, battles with other girls, Reicia-chan’s consideration for me… so many things to think about.

And then, in the middle of all that, that happened.

The trigger itself probably didn’t matter.

Which is why… I—────

The atmosphere… “funeral mood” was exactly the right expression.

Inside the waiting room, the members of GMDW wore such grief-stricken expressions that they were slow to even notice when we entered. It was as if someone had actually died. No—maybe in their minds, someone had. The image they’d had of Reicia-chan until now… had probably died. That’s why… this.

"…I’m sorry."

The one who spoke was Yumetsuki-san. At first, I thought her apology was about the suicide attempt…

"We knew. We knew all along."

…Huh?

"We knew, and we stayed quiet. We pretended not to know. We told ourselves that if we said anything, we could never go back to how things were. We made excuses, thinking Reicia-san would want it that way, and we hid it… and because of that, because of us, this… this happened!"

"That’s not true!! I agreed to it too! I was the one who ordered our entire faction to keep it hidden! If I hadn’t… if I hadn’t said such a thing, this never would have…!"

After that, I couldn’t make heads or tails of what was happening.

“It’s my fault, I should have done this back then, I should have…” What is this? Why are these girls blaming themselves? I don’t know the full situation, but even if they knew about Reicia-chan’s suicide attempt, this isn’t something that happened because the GMDW girls kept quiet. So how did things get so twisted into… this?

"Enough already!!!"

Someone finally snapped.

"All of you—every time you open your mouths, it’s nothing but whining and moping… What is it? Is it really so tragic that I tried to kill myself? Am I really such a ‘poor thing’ to you?!"

…

"Perhaps it was pathetic. Looking back now, I can admit it. I was a pitiful woman who knew nothing and didn’t even try to know! But! Do I still look that way to you now?!"

…That…

"Am I such a fragile woman that I’ll shatter if I’m not being supported? Am I so brittle that unless you tiptoe around me and apologize, I’ll crumble?! No, I’m not! And who was it that acknowledged me as their queen…? Who was it that accepted me as their other half?!"

…That’s for me, isn’t it, Reicia-chan.

And maybe you’re right. Even with the whole matter involving your father, the reason I was so angry was probably because deep down I still thought my possession of you was a bad thing at its core. From your perspective, the fact that I still see that suicide attempt as a “tragedy,” that everyone else sees it that way, and that someone is being blamed for it… is something you just can’t stand.

"Because of that incident, I was able to meet you! Maybe it was the foolish act of a foolish woman, but it was never, ever a tragedy! So… don’t hold back! You’re not some ‘second personality’! You’re not ‘another Reicia’! You are, without a doubt, the real Reicia Blackguard!!"

I get it, Reicia-chan. I understand your feelings perfectly well.

In that case… let me say this too.

"If that’s the case, Reicia-chan, couldn’t you also try to match my pace a little more?"

"Huh…?"

"Sh-Shiren-san…?"

I’d been holding it in for so, so long.

Because I’m Reicia-chan’s second personality, because the things she does for me are out of care, I’d thought I should just let her do as she wished. But—

"…I’ve had enough! All this talk about liking Kamijou-san! About being his fiancée! Why do I have to let you decide feelings that even I don’t understand myself?!"

"Huh…?! Well, I mean, from the outside it’s obvious—"

"It’s not obvious to me!!"

Even in my previous life I’d had no experience with romance, and now suddenly I’m being told, "You have feelings you don’t even realize," and being set up like that? How could I possibly accept that?

With feelings that don’t even sit right with me, I’ve been getting in the way of other girls’ love lives—and you think that doesn’t hurt me?!

"If anyone should understand, it’s you, Reicia-chan! So why do you keep forcing things?!"

"B-but that’s because, Shiren… I thought I was doing what’s best—"

"I thought I was doing what’s best too!! All this time!!"

She gets angry when I do something I think is best, but when she does something for the same reason, I’m supposed to accept it? How’s that fair?!

"Then you should have just said so more clearly! If you’d told me straight, I’d have held back a little!"

"And now you’re saying this is my fault?! I told you many times—be more gentle! But you didn’t listen, Reicia-chan!"

"Wha—?!"

"Um… you two…?"

"Huh? Oh… I suppose this really isn’t the time for this…"

"What’s that supposed to mean? Like what I’m worried about is some trivial—"

"I didn’t say that! But you do have a habit of sulking and making snide remarks. With Mikoto-san, for example—you pick words that will hurt her on purpose, don’t you? She might not show it, but she does get hurt. Little things like that—"

"Now you’re giving me a lecture?! Honestly, Shiren, you always do this. Looking down on me a bit, like you’re the more mature one—"

"Both. Of. You!!!"

"Yes, ma’am!"

Rinka-san’s raised voice made us stop mid-argument and face her.

Ah… right. I’d let my temper run away with me, but this really wasn’t the time. We needed to focus on helping everyone first—

…Or so I thought, but the others looked… not tense, but more like they’d just relaxed. Or maybe they were just exasperated? Well, yeah… if you saw a split-personality pair arguing with each other in front of you, you’d probably just get exasperated… I guess.

"…First, I’m sorry. For not believing in the two of you…"

"I’m sorry too. You’re right—we acknowledged you as our ‘queen.’ Not believing in you was wrong of us."

With that, the two of them—and the rest of their faction—bowed their heads. They still looked a bit bewildered, but the crushing guilt from earlier seemed to be gone. …Maybe, in the end, that argument was just the thing to break the tension.

《…Well, let’s call a truce for now. We’ve got bigger issues to deal with.》

《Yeah. Let’s take care of what’s in front of us first.》

Still… what were we supposed to do?

Even if Reicia-chan herself held no bitterness about the suicide attempt, the world wouldn’t see it that way. Gossip sites would jump at the chance to sensationalize it, and heartless voices might be thrown at the GMDW girls. Tokiwadai’s reputation could take a hit, and if that happened, there might even be students who’d irrationally turn their resentment toward us.

We needed to do something, and fast… though honestly, I didn’t even know where the leak had started—or if it was even something we could solve ourselves. Maybe that’s why everyone had been distracting themselves by thinking about anything else, anything to keep their minds off the problem…

"…Um!"

A voice spoke up.

"…Konagi-san?"

It was Amiya Konagi, GMDW’s only first-year member. She was serious but scatterbrained, and during her research presentation at the Academic Society, she’d even accidentally rewound her own data mid-talk.

"I… there’s something that’s been bothering me."

Steadying her trembling voice with a deep breath, Amiya-san spoke slowly.

"This ‘scandal’… could it be someone’s… attack?"