Chapter 1: I Want to Keep My Angel to Myself
—I had a dream.
A dream of playing together with a friend I could truly trust.
We were both around middle school age. The world was bright, fun, and I wished that time could last forever.
But such time never lasts long. A sudden farewell always comes.
My friend’s figure disappears. Taken away by their parents to a world that grows darker and dimmer, rain falling from the darkness, until finally, the entire world is swallowed by black.
It’s a dream I’ve seen many times before. This is where it ends, and I wake up. Just a bad dream.
—When I wake up, my whole body’s drenched in sweat. I feel awful. And utterly depressed.
~~~~~~~~~
My tangled thoughts slowly started to settle, my head finally clearing enough for my vision to sharpen.
I could finally understand what had happened to me. What had been done to me.
Lying naked in bed, I turned to see the man beside me gently stroking my cheek. When he noticed I was awake, he leaned in and kissed me.
I didn’t react at all.
Fighting back would be pointless. I didn’t have the strength to resist anymore. It was a kind of resignation, a hollow surrender.
—I’d been assaulted. Defiled. By this man.
My name is Amare Haruto, a second-year high school student… or at least, I was. Right at the start of Golden Week, I developed TS Syndrome, and my body became that of a girl.
TS Syndrome is a condition that appears in one out of every five thousand adolescents, reversing your sex overnight.
There’s no going back. From then on, you live the rest of your life in your new gender.
It’s officially recognized by the government—you get subsidies, an official certificate, and even your gender records get updated.
Just a week ago, I was a guy. But now, thanks to this girl’s body I never wanted… I mean, seriously. My heart, my mind, I’m still a guy, okay? There’s no way I’d ever even think about doing anything with a man. I don’t want that. It’s disgusting. I’m not into that.
And yet, I got attacked by this man and ended up like this. Just remembering it makes my skin crawl.
I couldn’t even resist properly. He did whatever he wanted to me.
I never imagined I’d lose my virginity just a week after becoming a girl. And worse, my first time was with a guy. Couldn’t feel worse about it.
At first, I fought with everything I had. But in this girl’s body, I didn’t stand a chance. He overpowered me and forced himself on me.
Is it any wonder I gave up? “Do whatever you want.” That was where my mind ended up.
—Seriously, how did it come to this?
Today’s the first day back to school after Golden Week. My first day going to school as a girl.
I put on the girl’s blazer I didn’t even want to wear, squeezed into the too-tight shirt over my chest, complained about how weird it felt wearing a skirt… and yet, when I looked in the mirror, I thought: kinda cute.
When I spun around, my long, silky black hair fanned out behind me. My face was so pretty any guy would turn to look, and my chest… yeah, big. The beautiful girl in the mirror smiled back at me.
At the time, I looked at my reflection like it was someone else.
Of course I did. My mind was still that of a guy. I hadn’t accepted being a girl yet. Somewhere deep down, I still thought I’d eventually go back to normal. That’s why the girl in the mirror felt like some video game avatar, nothing to do with me.
Then I went to school. The teacher introduced me during homeroom.
I did a self-introduction, too, but it was obvious the way my classmates looked at me had changed.
Their eyes felt cold. Like they were looking at something creepy. Or sizing me up. Or staring at me with hungry eyes. Like I was some caged animal in a zoo.
One of the hardest things was when my friends avoided eye contact with me.
Even during breaks, no one came to talk to me. Instead, I could hear whispers behind my back from all over the classroom.
I’d thought, just maybe, people would treat me nicely. That faint hope was crushed.
Unable to stand it, I spent my break somewhere quiet outside the classroom, killing time.
When school finally ended, all I wanted was to get away as fast as possible. I stood up right away.
That day, I left school without talking to a single classmate.
On the way home, tears started falling as I thought about what lay ahead.
That’s when I was approached by a group of three young guys. At first, since I was crying, I thought they were genuinely worried.
But then they said, “Why don’t we rest somewhere and calm down?” which was basically just pushy flirting.
That’s when I finally realized what was happening. I tried to resist. And that’s when I learned: in this girl’s body, I couldn’t fight back against a man.
As soon as I resisted, they got rough.
One of them covered my mouth, others grabbed my arms. I couldn’t move.
They touched my thighs, groped my chest over my clothes. I felt more fear than disgust.
Paralyzed by terror and despair, I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I didn’t choose to become a girl. I didn’t want any of this.
—But then, one man appeared.
Without a word, he launched into a fight against the three guys.
His slightly long hair whipped around as he moved. His big body, those heavy fists, those long legs—all of it overwhelmed them. Pure, raw violence subdued the whole scene.
“You’re safe now.”
He held out his hand to me, still sitting frozen on the ground, having seen the whole thing.
I couldn’t look away. He was violent, yes, but graceful. And above all, strong.
“…Thank you.”
I came back to myself and thanked him sincerely. I probably smiled too—I think I was that relieved.
Then, he changed his one outstretched hand to two, and lifted me up in a princess carry.
“Huh? W-wait…”
Ignoring my flustered confusion, he carried me away from that place.
“Thank you… I’m okay now, really…”
“Don’t worry about it.”
I said that because I wanted him to put me down, but… it wasn’t even a conversation.
It was only after that odd exchange that I finally realized.
This guy… is my classmate.
Murakumo Kiriya. A second-year student, like me.
Murakumo-kun had been drawing attention since our first year. Over 185 cm (6'1) tall, long legs, great figure, and above all, a good-looking face.
He wasn’t much of a talker, but that slightly shadowy vibe suited him well, and the girls loved it. He really was popular.
On top of that, he was smart and athletic—enough to make me jealous, wondering just how much the gods had decided to give him.
Even from a guy’s perspective, Murakumo-kun was undeniably cool. Of course he stood out in class.
But someone like me, more on the introverted side, had never exchanged a single word with him.
The fact that Murakumo-kun would come save me… I guess life really does have its ups and downs.
That said, now that we were in a more public area, being carried like a princess was seriously embarrassing.
“Um… Murakumo-kun, can you put me down now…?”
Murakumo-kun fell silent for a moment, then glanced at me and said:
“No.”
My brain stopped.
Huh? What? No? Why? Isn’t this the part where you put me down?
The question marks started spinning endlessly in my head.
“Too many people around…”
He muttered that under his breath, then suddenly broke into a sprint. Still carrying me, at full speed.
Jolting wildly in his arms, I instinctively clung to him just to keep steady.
Without stopping, Murakumo-kun rushed into an apartment room, and I was thrown straight onto a bed.
“Haru. You’re mine.”
Saying that, Murakumo-kun began undressing.
Tall, long-legged, no unnecessary fat—a well-proportioned body.
Next, he started stripping me. I didn’t have the strength to resist him. My uniform and underwear were torn off.
Isn’t this situation worse than what happened with those three guys earlier? That thought came too late. Murakumo-kun didn’t stop. He pinned me down and stole my lips.
My first kiss… ended up being with a male classmate I’d never even spoken to.
And of course, that wasn’t all. Murakumo-kun devoured my body.
—And that brings me to now.
Honestly, I have no idea how any of this happened.
On my way home from the first day of school, I get hit on by three guys, rescued by a classmate… and then get dragged to his place and assaulted by him. It’s like I’m on a roller coaster.
Even now, after everything’s over, he’s gently caressing my skin, kissing me, touching me like someone cherishing a lover. It doesn’t feel like he just wanted to collect a reward for saving me.
And… well, this is kind of embarrassing to admit, but… it felt really good.
He must be good at it. Even though it was my first time, he made it feel good.
Strong and rough, but careful and delicate where it mattered. He knew how to draw things out of me.
It was nothing like doing it myself. It was an unbelievable experience.
Still… what is this guy planning to do with me?
Come to think of it… Murakumo-kun called me “Haru.”
We’ve never even spoken before. We’re just classmates, nothing more.
Usually, my friends call me “Amare,” “HaruHaru,” or “Haruto.” The only ones who call me “Haru” are my family, or Kiri, my best friend back in middle school.
Murakumo-kun never seemed like the type to casually use nicknames for people he barely knew… Or maybe that was just my assumption.
Glancing at the clock, I saw it was already past 6 PM.
Crap. I really need to get home. Though… will Murakumo-kun even let me leave? After all, he did say, “You’re mine.” Worst-case scenario, he might not let me go at all.
—No! There’s no point hesitating! I have to say it! Just be brave and tell him—I need to go home!
“Um… Murakumo-kun…”
His hand, which had been gently stroking my hair, stopped. His eyes locked onto mine.
Ugh. Sharp eyes… and damn, he really is handsome. —Wait, why does he seem familiar somehow…?
No, no! Focus! Don’t think about weird stuff right now! Just say it! I’m going home!
“Uh, it’s already late… so, yeah, I should head home.”
I finally managed to say it, but his gaze just sharpened.
“I see… yeah.”
That’s all he said, then stepped away from me.
“Wanna take a shower?”
…Maybe he was trying to be considerate? He did offer, but after thinking about it for a moment, I decided to hold out until I got home. I didn’t have a change of clothes anyway.
“Ah… no, I’m fine. I’ll shower after I get home.”
“…I see.”
Saying that, he tossed me a towel.
I guess that was his way of saying, at least dry yourself off.
After that, neither of us said a word. I started getting dressed while Murakumo-kun, who’d already changed, just sat in a chair, silently watching me.
His sharp gaze pierced right through me, making me horribly self-conscious—but I kept telling myself that I had to get out of here before he changed his mind. With that in mind, I struggled into my still-unfamiliar uniform.
“W-well… then.”
I double-checked that I wasn’t leaving anything behind—hoping I’d never have to come back to this place—and left the room alone.
…Or so I thought. But Murakumo-kun followed me out.
“It’s dangerous to walk alone.”
No. You’re the dangerous one!? How do you even say that with a straight face!?
I screamed internally but forced a strained smile.
“Ah… I’m fine. Really. I can get home on my own.”
“No.”
Just one word. And when he glared at me with those razor-sharp eyes, I couldn’t say anything else.
After leaving the apartment, Murakumo-kun walked slightly ahead of me.
He shouldn’t know where I live… or so I thought, planning to lose him if he went the wrong way.
But he didn’t. He walked straight to my house without hesitation.
…Huh? Wait. What??
Hold up! Why does Murakumo-kun know where I live!?
It’s not like I led him here, and I didn’t tell him anything!?
Sure, his apartment’s only about five minutes from my house, but still—guessing the exact location like this should’ve been impossible.
Wait… no way. Is he a stalker? A chill ran down my spine at the thought.
…No, calm down. I only turned into a girl a week ago. Today was my first day back at school. He had zero contact with me when I was still a guy. So… what the hell is going on??
“Um… how do you know where my house is?”
I asked nervously. Depending on his answer, I might feel better… no, actually, any answer at this point would probably just be terrifying.
Bracing myself, I waited.
But Murakumo-kun simply answered:
“Obviously.”
As if it were the most natural thing in the world.
That’s not an answer!? What do you mean “obviously”!? What’s obvious about this!?
—Okay. Deep breaths. Calm down. The important thing is, I made it home. Well, not exactly “safe,” considering I lost my virginity, but still!
Right now, the priority is to get away from this dangerous guy and shut myself safely inside my house. That’s all that matters.
“Thanks! Bye!”
I said that in a rush, opened my front door, and slipped inside.
I half expected him to say something or try to stop me, but… he didn’t.
I slammed the door shut and locked it immediately.
After that, I jumped into the shower, ate a late dinner, and went to bed earlier than usual.
Just because I was in bed didn’t mean I could fall asleep right away.
Why did Murakumo-kun save me, I wonder…? Well, setting aside what happened afterward, the fact remains that he did save me.
…Actually, why was he even there in the first place? Even if it was just coincidence, isn’t it strange that he happened to be at that exact spot? I left school right after classes ended today.
Did he catch up because I was walking so slowly? …But still, that alley wasn’t exactly on the main road. Would someone just randomly pass by a place like that?
Hmm…
…No. Thinking about it won’t get me anywhere. For now, I’ll just assume it was coincidence and leave it at that.
The real problem is what happened after.
I was happy that he saved me, but… to think he’d literally carry me off like that.
On top of that, Murakumo-kun said, “You’re mine.”
Well, he’s popular with girls, and I’ve even heard rumors that he goes around sleeping with any girl who shows interest in him. Maybe he says stuff like that to everyone. Maybe it’s just a catchphrase for him.
…But honestly, he seemed too experienced. It felt like he understood a woman’s body better than I did—even though I’d only been in this body for a week.
Losing my virginity itself didn’t leave me with as much of a sense of loss as I’d expected. What hit me harder was the psychological shock of being held by a man.
I guess… because it’s only been about a week since I turned into a girl, I still didn’t really think of myself as one.
…Not that that makes any of it okay. But what really surprised me more was realizing, almost from an outsider’s perspective, that I had suddenly become fully aware of the fact that I’m now a girl.
Until now, even when I looked at or touched my own body, it hadn’t really felt real.
But when Murakumo-kun touched me, when he touched this body, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. It was clear as day: my body is female.
Not that my mind’s caught up. I’m still me. I’m still supposed to be a guy… right?
Come to think of it… he knew where my house was. Like it was the most natural thing in the world.
He really is a stalker, isn’t he? If that’s true, it’s seriously terrifying.
After thinking over everything about Murakumo-kun, I found myself dreading school tomorrow.
Judging from how everyone treated me today, I might end up skipping altogether.
Worries about the future kept spinning through my head. Even though I’d gotten into bed around nine, by the time I finally drifted off to sleep, it was well past midnight.
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