Chapter 20: Reunion with a Best Friend and the Disappearance of a Lover

……Hmm? What?

It seems I’d been asleep.

A sense of unease washed over me as I glanced around—this wasn’t my bed, nor was it my room.

When I came to my senses, two men stood before me.

My lover, Murakumo Kiriya, and my best friend, Kiri.

Both were precious to me.

That said, if I had to choose one, I’d pick Murakumo-kun.

Can’t be helped—I’m at the peak of happiness right now.

…Wait, was I at the peak of happiness?

Strange. Thinking about Murakumo-kun, alongside the joy, a dark emotion welled up, making it hard to feel purely happy.

It was as if I’d lost him—like a gaping hole had opened in my heart.

Before I knew it, Murakumo-kun had vanished from sight, leaving only my best friend, Kiri, behind.

A sudden sweat broke out, a chill running down my spine.

I frantically looked around, then broke into a run, searching for Murakumo-kun.

Through the darkness, I kept searching, kept running—

—And then I woke up.

—Morning already?

It was past 5 AM when I realized.

I hadn’t slept a wink.

I’d been thinking all night—no, ever since Haru ran out yesterday.

Why had things turned out like this? What should I have done?

I love Haru—both as a best friend and as a woman.

How could I not fall for him when the guy I’d always admired as a friend turned out to be a stunning woman?

The time I spent with Haru since childhood was irreplaceable.

That feeling only grew stronger after we parted, to the point where I moved nearby just to reunite with him.

To me, Haru is special.

During the spring break between second and third year of middle school, I had to move due to my parents’ circumstances.

I remember crying and begging them not to separate me from Haru.

But that move was because of my parents’ divorce.

As a middle schooler, I wasn’t told—my father, who I was told was just “away on business,” disappeared from my life after that.

Taken in by my mother, I went from Kurakumo Kiriya to Murakumo Kiriya.

After moving to my mother’s family home, it took me a long time to process everything.

Of course it did.

I never knew my seemingly normal parents were actually on the verge of divorce.

Worse, my mother and grandparents hid the truth from me for a month.

They made excuses—business trips and such—until one day, I overheard my grandfather pressuring my mother: “When are you going to tell Kiriya?”

Eavesdropping, I learned everything and lashed out at my mother.

Not violently—just raw frustration at being kept in the dark.

I wasn’t even given a choice between my father and mother.

I remember my mother’s words vividly.

She badmouthed my father relentlessly—claiming he was abusive, a serial cheater, that he forced everything onto her.

“I had to divorce him to protect you,” she said.

At the time, though uneasy, I believed her. I guess the divorce couldn’t be helped.

But I was wrong.

Looking back calmly later, I realized it was all lies.

She was the abusive one. My father never fought back—he cooked, cleaned, did laundry.

My mother kept repeating how terrible he was, as if convincing herself.

The final nail was her promiscuity.

Though nearly 40, she looked young, even pretty to her own son.

But she’d dump me with my grandparents to go party with men.

She’d disappear for days—by high school, I never knew if she’d be home.

My grandparents watched her with resigned eyes.

In my third year, I hit a growth spurt—20 cm in a year, over 30 cm by high school.

My slightly chubby frame leaned out with muscle, and my natural athleticism shone.

With my height, I became popular with girls.

But by then, I’d grown cold toward women.

I had desires—but I couldn’t bring myself to like them.

After becoming distrustful of people—and especially of women—my heart had hardened. My eyes had grown sharp, my words few, and even my appearance had changed drastically.

When it came time to choose a high school, I suddenly remembered Haru. Those days when I was genuinely enjoying life—it hadn’t even been a full year since then, but I felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. Each day, the desire to see Haru again only grew stronger.

I remembered she said she’d probably attend a high school close to home, so I decided to apply to the same one. Of course, there was still the chance we’d end up at different schools, so I begged my grandfather to let me live on my own. I pleaded, saying I didn’t want to live with my mother.

But the truth is, I couldn’t even stand to see her face.

Naturally, I chose to live somewhere near Haru’s house.

That way, even if we didn’t go to the same school, I could still see her—or so I thought.

I entered high school and started living alone.

Though it had only been a year, the scenery felt so nostalgic. The streets, the town—it all brought back memories.

This was the town where I was born and raised.

And fortunately, Haru had gotten into the same school.

We weren’t in the same class, and even during joint gym periods we didn’t meet, but just being in the same school was enough to make me happy.

Even so—even though I had wished so desperately to be with her again—I couldn’t bring myself to speak to Haru.

The moment I saw her and thought of calling out, I hesitated. I convinced myself that the current me wasn’t worthy of Haru.

With a heart turned bitter and a self that had changed so much, I couldn’t imagine spending time with her like before.

Haru looked dazzling—too radiant to approach.

I felt like if she stayed close to someone like me, it would ruin her. That’s how I thought.

So, I ended up just watching her from a distance now and then.

At the start of our first year of high school, I was completely alone.

I had a rough look in my eyes, I was tall, muscular, gave off an intimidating vibe, barely spoke, and had this dark aura about me. No one could tell what I was thinking. No one wanted to come near someone like that.

But there was one guy who kept coming up to me regardless.

His name was Nozomu Aokuu.

The guy who would eventually become my new best friend—for whatever reason—took a liking to the silent, creepy me. He spoke to me enthusiastically and always had a bright, cheerful expression.

Little by little, Nozomu melted the ice around my heart. I started talking again, bit by bit, and the gloomy atmosphere around me began to lighten.

Before long, people started recognizing me for my athletic ability and academic performance. And thanks to Nozomu’s upbeat personality, more people began gathering around us.

The person I am today—I owe it to Nozomu.

I once asked him, curious, why he ever talked to me in the first place.

"Huh? Well… you kinda looked like you were asking for help or something… Wait, forget I said that! Who cares, really!"

That’s the kind of guy he was. Even so, who keeps talking to someone that much?

…He really was a strange one.

In our second year, Nozomu and I were lucky enough to end up in the same class again. And even better—Haru was in our class too.

But still, I couldn’t speak to her. I just kept watching from afar, day after day.

Then, everything changed one day.

After Golden Week, Haru came to school—as a girl.

An angel had descended.

The moment I saw her, my heart was seized. It was stolen away.

I couldn’t believe someone so beautiful and so cute existed. That’s how strong the impact was.

And it wasn’t just me—the entire class, boys and girls alike, were stunned.

But unlike me, their reactions weren’t positive. They leaned more toward the negative.

Maybe it was because she used to be a boy. The guys showed a mix of confusion and curiosity, while some of the girls looked visibly uncomfortable.

Even during breaks, not a single one of her old friends said a word to her. Haru stood out, isolated.

After the final class of the day, just like during break time, she quickly left the classroom.

A bad feeling crept over me. I said a quick word to Nozomu and left the classroom, chasing after Haru.

I trailed behind Haru as she walked with slumped shoulders—and pulled her away from a forceful pickup attempt.

But the real problem came after that.

When Haru smiled at me, something inside me snapped.

That smile was the best thing I had ever seen. No, comparing it to anything else would be disrespectful—it was incomparable. It was the highest, most sublime smile imaginable.

Spellbound by that smile, the cautious version of myself disappeared somewhere, and I was overtaken by the urge to make all of Haru mine.

—To make her my angel. Mine, and mine alone.

If I let someone else have a girl like Haru—someone this perfect—I would regret it for the rest of my life. No, I’d regret it so deeply I’d want to die.

So I acted right away. I acted without thinking. Damn it! I really did it!

—Even after forcing things to a conclusion and thinking I’d calmed down, my feelings hadn’t settled in the slightest.

If anything, I’d only doubled down on the belief that I had to have her all to myself.

There wasn’t a shred of regret. I had saved Haru, I had protected her, and now I was going to win her heart.

That selfish, overpowering desire was all I had.

My entire heart was consumed with feelings for Haru.

I didn’t want to just watch her anymore—I was going to be by her side, always. I’d create a space where she could feel safe and comfortable.

Selfish or not, that was the most sincere way I could express my love.

And things went well after that. With Nozomu and the others’ support, my feelings got through. Haru started to like me too.

—Or so I believed.

But those feelings had been directed at "Murakumo-kun."

—I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.

Right now, I’m standing in front of Haru’s house. I came to pick her up.

All the way here, I kept worrying, debating if I should turn back.

But I’d made a decision.

That I would protect Haru, that I would save her.

And I told her—I told Haru that she was mine, and that I would walk her to and from school every single day.

So even if she rejects me, I’ll stay by her side.

All that’s left is to press the doorbell.

—But what if she really rejects me? What if she says she doesn’t want to be with me?

Would I be able to recover from that?

Come on, pull yourself together, Kiriya! Is Haru really someone you’d let go over something like this!?

…All right!! I’ve made up my mind!!

Even if she refuses, no matter what she says—I'll carry her off if I have to, even if I have to scoop her up like a princess!

—With trembling fingers, I pressed the doorbell.