Chapter 21: Time With an Old Friend, After So Long
I pressed the intercom and waited at the front door.
All I could think of were bad scenarios. My nerves were making me sweat like crazy.
What if it’s not Haru who answers, but her mom? What if she blames me for what happened yesterday?
No, no, no!! I can’t show up like this!!
Trying to shake off the negative thoughts, I shook my head.
Just then, the door opened.
“Comiiing—oh…”
It was Haru.
Every time I see her, I think the same thing—she’s really beautiful, really cute, just… perfect.
Whenever she smiles at me, I get this overwhelming urge to hug her.
Our eyes met, but neither of us said a word.
I couldn’t read her expression at all. Was she angry? Was she going to shut the door in my face? Ignore me?
Those anxious thoughts raced through my head.
The silence felt endless. Like it could go on forever.
And then, probably after just a moment…
“Yo, Kiri. C’mon, let’s go. I’m heading out!”
—Huh?
That was… way too unexpected.
After calling back into the house, Haru casually walked past me out the door and looked back.
“Oi, you coming or what? What’re you spacing out for?”
“Ah—uh, yeah. Sorry—”
Snapped out of it by Haru’s words, I quickly followed after her.
What the hell? What’s going on here?
It’s like… nothing even happened yesterday.
But… no, that doesn’t matter.
The important thing is—Haru didn’t reject me.
Just that alone made me so happy I wanted to ignore the weird vibe I was feeling.
I walked beside her and, like always, reached out to hold her hand.
Her hand was soft and slightly colder than mine—a girl’s hand. I liked that.
I tried to interlace my fingers with her thin, pale ones, delicate enough to snap if I squeezed too hard—
“Oi! Don’t just grab my hand like that! Creepy much?!”
Haru slapped my hand away.
—Huh?
“Creepy…?”
I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to believe I misheard.
But she’d clearly pushed my hand away. That was real.
“Huh? Oh, come on. Even if we’re best friends, holding hands is pushing it. We’re not girls, y’know. Don’t joke like that.”
“Ah… yeah, sorry…”
—Best friends.
Come to think of it, Haru called me “Kiri” earlier.
That was the nickname she used for me back in middle school.
Up until yesterday, she’d been calling me “Kiriya-kun.”
Now I couldn’t ignore the strange change.
Her tone earlier—yeah, that had changed too.
It’s clear something about yesterday affected her.
What exactly, though—I had no clue.
No clue, but one thing was certain:
Right now, I wasn’t “Kiriya-kun” anymore.
I was just “Kiri”—her old best friend.
…Well, whatever.
As long as I get to be next to Haru right now, that’s good enough.
That’s what I told myself, trying to stay carefree.
“Hey, what’s going on with you two?”
Nozomu suddenly asked me.
It was P.E. class. A co-ed joint session, but split into boys and girls for the activities.
“With what?”
“You guys’ve been acting weird all week. Especially Haru-chan. She talks to the rest of us like normal, but the way she talks to you? And how she acts around you?”
“Her tone’s changed, sure… but she doesn’t act that different, does she?”
Haru hadn’t changed how she interacted with anyone else—it was exactly the same as last week.
I knew her tone with me had shifted… but her behavior didn’t feel that off. I mean, yeah, she won’t hold my hand anymore.
Still, at school, she always sticks by my side—same as ever.
“No, man. It’s totally different. …You seriously haven’t noticed? When she’s next to you, Haru-chan doesn’t look like some girl in love anymore—it’s more like… I dunno, like you two are old pals who know each other inside out.”
“Hmm… now that you say it, I guess it does feel different.”
“You seriously didn’t notice that? …Wait—did something happen during your Sunday date or what?”
“…No, the aquarium date you recommended went fine. It’s just… after that…”
“C’mon, spill. I waited until Haru-chan wasn’t around to ask for a reason.”
“…Alright, I guess I can tell you, Nozomu—”
—I told him.
About how Haru and I used to be best friends in middle school, about what happened after our date on Sunday, and everything that’s happened since then.
“Huh… best friends, huh. Well, that explains why she suddenly fell so hard for you.
—Wait, hold on. You’re saying your best friend turned into a girl, and that made you fall for her?
Like, say you turned into a girl, Kiriya…
Hmm… yeah, no. I couldn’t fall for you. Not a chance.
You guys must’ve had one hell of a bond.”
Yeah, I guess that’s how it usually goes.
But my bond with Haru runs deep—like we’re connected at the core. You can’t just lump us in with regular best friends.
Still—
“That’s not the real issue here, is it?”
“Exactly. The question is why Haru-chan’s treating Kiri—who’s the same person as Kiriya—like he’s someone else.”
When I tried to sort things out in my head so I could explain it to Nozomu, I started to understand a bit myself.
First off, as a premise: Haru didn’t realize I—Kurakumo Kiriya, her best friend through middle school—was the same person as Murakumo Kiriya, the identity I go by now.
She thought I was someone completely different.
But once I revealed that I used to be Kurakumo Kiriya, for some reason… she stopped seeing me as “Murakumo-kun” and started treating me as her old best friend “Kiri.”
Now that I think about it, when we played that game at her place, she gave weirdly special treatment to the character named “Kiriya.”
Back then, I’d just thought, well, that’s still technically me, and didn’t think too hard about it.
But for Haru, that “Kiriya” in the game must’ve been a precious character tied to memories of our middle school days—something important.
That’s probably why she went out of her way to create “Murakumo” as a separate character.
And likely, that “Murakumo” was important to her in a different way, too.
And now, to Haru, the current me is “Kiri”—her old best friend.
That’s why we’re close. But at the same time, she draws the line at romantic things like holding hands.
Guys don’t hold hands after puberty, not even close friends.
Throwing an arm around a shoulder, sure—but hand-holding? That’s reserved for romantic relationships.
—Which means, even now, maybe I could get away with slinging an arm around her shoulders?
Guess I’ll try that out later and see how it goes.
Anyway, when I talked it over with Nozomu about what to do next… we didn’t exactly come up with any good ideas.
His take was: A best friend is a best friend. That doesn’t just become a romantic partner.
So we landed on the classic non-answer: You’ll just have to keep trying your best.
But I’m not giving up.
What I want from Haru isn’t just friendship or just romance—it’s both.
I want it all. I want to be her best friend and her boyfriend. The full combo.
So—long story short, it worked.
During break time, I tried casually putting my arm around her shoulders.
And surprisingly, she accepted it without any resistance.
Okay, sure—after school she did tell me, “Stop that, it’s hard to walk,” but still.
That moment meant a lot to me—being able to touch Haru again, even just a little.
Up until last week, being close to her was a given, but now I realized just how precious it really was.
Since then, I’ve started playfully messing around with her more—light teasing, brushing her hair, touching her arm when I joke.
Even Nozomu’s said, “Man, Kiriya, your personality’s totally changed.”
I’ve been talking more, probably acting more lively than before—and I feel like people have started to notice.
But I don’t care.
I want to be close to Haru. I want to hear her voice. I want to deepen our bond.
That’s all that matters.
Still, Haru seems completely content just being close as friends.
Like Nozomu said, I haven’t seen a single sign that this is turning into romance.
We’re close, sure. Our comfort level is great. But it’s all under the umbrella of friendship.
Even holding hands—let alone kissing—is completely off-limits right now.
No matter how much I think about it, I can’t figure out how to break through that barrier.
Caught between wondering if I was making progress or just spinning my wheels, I spent my days stuck in limbo—until Friday, after school, when Haru suddenly asked:
“Hey, what’re you doing this weekend? I don’t have any plans or anything.”
I almost let out a shout of joy.
I’d been racking my brain for excuses or reasons to spend time with her this weekend.
And now here she was, practically inviting me herself.
It’s a bit of a letdown that our plans come with the preface of “just hanging out as best friends,”
but still—if I can be with Haru, then I’m happy.
No way I’m letting her go out alone, either. What if she gets approached by some creep?
…Now, what should we do?
A “date”—or rather, going out somewhere together—sounds good.
Of course, it can’t be anywhere too obviously date-like.
Movies should be fine. Karaoke… also okay. Bowling or the arcade are no-brainers.
For most guys and girls, those kinds of outings could lead somewhere romantic.
But for us? It really would just end as two friends hanging out.
That’s not going to get me anywhere near the “boyfriend” zone.
Places like aquariums or theme parks—where we went last week—might be too much.
—Wait, I’ve got it.
What if we go to a café with couples-only specials?
I mean, Haru is a girl, and if I push the “it’s a good deal” angle, she might just go for it.
And once we’re inside, maybe the whole romantic atmosphere will pull us along naturally.
Yes. Brilliant idea. Let’s go with that.
“How about we go out somewhere on Sunday? What about Saturday…?”
“Then… how about my place? I’m kinda broke lately.”
“That’s fine by me.”
Not that money’s a problem for me—I've got it covered.
Well, technically, it’s the allowance I got from my grandpa. But still.
That said, if we can relax at Haru’s place, I’ve got no complaints.
I’m still not ready to have her over at my place just yet.
“Alright, see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. See you.”
And just like that, we parted ways at Haru’s doorstep.
Once I got home, I immediately started planning for Sunday.
Luckily, I found a café pretty quickly that offers couple-exclusive menu items.
There were actually more of those than I expected.
That said, a private room would probably be pushing it.
What’s important here is the atmosphere: being surrounded by other couples.
So I settled on a place that’s light and casual, with a “couple discount” or “couples-only menu,” but not too serious.
Now I just need to bring it up naturally tomorrow and lock in the plan.
――That aside.
My relationship with Haru is good—as best friends, anyway.
I’ve tried different things, and yeah, if it’s something that falls within the range of how guy friends interact, she’s fine with it.
But the moment anything strays into romantic territory—into guy-girl behavior—she immediately recoils.
Maybe Nozomu’s right: best friends are best friends, lovers are lovers. Two different categories.
I mean, I get it. That’s how it works for most people.
But Haru’s different.
We used to be best friends as guys, and now we’re a guy and a girl.
With us, it should be possible to be both best friends and lovers.
Because “Murakumo-kun” and “Kiri” are both me.
Thinking about it… maybe in Haru’s mind, “boyfriend Murakumo-kun” and “best friend Kiri” exist as two completely separate people.
So when one tries to step into the other’s space, she instinctively rejects it.
If that’s the case, then maybe—if I want to pursue a romantic relationship—I’d have to abandon the “Kiri” identity and fully become “Murakumo-kun” the boyfriend.
But I’m greedy.
I want to be both her best friend and her boyfriend.
I think Haru probably likes both “Murakumo-kun” and “Kiri” in her own way.
The direction of those feelings might differ, but they’re both positive.
So what if I could just redirect those feelings—get her to focus not on “those two people,” but on me, the one who is both?
Then maybe I’d have a chance.
In which case… the question is how?
Ughhhhh. I don’t know anymore.
…Screw it. I’m going to bed.
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