Chapter 10: ...What’s going on with you, Illya?

A strange stretch of time passed. At first, Shirou had been tense about sharing a cramped bath with a naked girl, but eventually, he stopped noticing it altogether. Their conversation bloomed around topics entirely unrelated to magic or the Holy Grail War—school life, part-time jobs, friends, and first loves.

Although they had agreed to talk about each other, Saber barely spoke; she mostly just listened to Shirou. Aside from the subject of magecraft, there wasn’t anything particularly dramatic in his life. Even as he thought his stories were dull, Shirou kept talking while washing himself.

Strangely enough, Saber listened intently, smiling as if she genuinely enjoyed his stories—stories with no highs or punchlines. That oddly ticklish feeling kept Shirou from stopping.

“So, back then—”

While recounting a trip to see fireworks with his father, and cheering for Fuji-nee during a kendo tournament, Shirou found himself thinking: When was the last time he had talked to someone like this? He’d chatted with Illya before, but only about things like hobbies and likes or dislikes—never anything this personal. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to talk; there had just never been a chance.

When Kiritsugu was still alive, they used to take baths together like this, and Shirou would tell him about school and his friends. But after his death, Shirou stopped talking about himself to anyone.

After the funeral, Fuji-nee had tried to keep him focused on the future and avoided bringing up the past. By the time Shirou entered middle school, she had grown confident that he was fine, but she also got busier and didn’t have much time to talk to him anymore. When he entered high school, their relationship turned into teacher and student at the same school, and they stopped having any real reason to talk.

He didn’t have these kinds of conversations with Sakura, Issei, or Shinji either, so the feeling was both refreshing and a little embarrassing.

“And then that guy—”

He felt like a kid again, talking about memories with Shinji from middle school, while wondering what to share next.

That was part of what Saber had hoped for from this conversation.

In many studies, “narrative” is considered an essential theme. What Saber wanted from him was the personal story he carried inside—his “dominant narrative.”

By arranging one’s past experiences in a timeline and attaching meaning to each event, people unconsciously form a structured story of their lives. This is something people do naturally without even thinking.

But by encouraging someone to consciously talk about their dominant narrative, you bring that unconscious story into awareness.

There’s even a therapeutic method called narrative therapy, which involves consciously engaging with that internal narrative as a means of healing.

The past of Emiya Shirou is far from happy. From a normal standpoint, it could be considered downright bleak.

He lost his parents, home, and everything else in a fire, and although his life afterward wasn’t the worst imaginable, it wasn’t exactly good either. Yet Saber responded warmly to every part of his story.

To a boy who saw his own life as dull and meaningless, she gave him a new perspective—“That’s not true. Your life has been something wonderful.”

That was one of Saber’s goals: to counteract his self-sacrificing nature through narrative reframing.

Still, that was only one goal. Her other reason for wanting to know about his past was simply that she wanted to know more about Emiya Shirou, the boy himself.

Up until now, Saber’s impression of him had largely been based on the “protagonist of the game” image—an honest, justice-seeking boy with a strong sense of self-sacrifice. But that impression only existed within the game. To continue viewing the real boy in front of her that way would be unfair—and create unnecessary distance between them.

By listening to his story, she was able to discard that initial impression and replace it. That, too, was one of the aims of this conversation—and it had succeeded completely.

Yes, Shirou’s life had been shaped in part by the dream entrusted to him by Kiritsugu. But that was only one of the foundations. Countless other people had influenced who he became.

A teacher from elementary school. A childhood bully. A hero from an anime. His first crush...

The inner self described in the game was just a fragment of his true character. Now she could understand that more deeply.

Yes, he had a tragic past, he could use magecraft, and one day he would become a Heroic Spirit. But right now—he was still a living, breathing boy.

“...Shirou-kun.”

Saber rested her arms on the edge of the tub and smiled gently.

“What do you want to be in the future?”

“I... I want to become a hero of justice.”

He said it—a dream so embarrassing he’d normally hesitate to voice it. And yet, it came out so naturally.

“I see... Then, let me tell you something good.”

Emiya Shirou dreams of becoming a hero of justice. But in this world, he can’t gain the experience he needs to become one. Only the real King Arthur could teach him what it truly means to live with noble purpose.

If Kiritsugu gave him the bones of that ideal, then it was King Arthur who could give it flesh. Without that flesh, Shirou might make the wrong choices in the name of justice—choices that end up destroying him.

He might walk down a path of endless bloodshed, seeking only power. That’s why—

“A true hero of justice must always carry love in their heart.”

That, at the very least, was something she could teach him.

“L-Love?”

“The hero I knew said you can’t be a true superhero without love in your heart.”

The hero she knew... was Kinnikuman—or more precisely, the lyrics from its opening theme.

“Try loving the people you want to save. The ones you want to protect. You know, even Jesus said it—‘Love thy neighbor.’ The first step is learning how to love.”

“...Love.”

“I think failing to save someone will hurt more if you loved them. But when you do save them, it’ll bring more joy than if you didn’t. If you want to be a hero... that kind of love might be important.”

“...I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Do that.”

And with that, their conversation ended. Shirou left the bath with a thoughtful expression, and Saber followed after he had exited the changing room.

They both left the house—not because they needed to shop, but because they had made a promise.

As they headed toward the usual park, they found Illya there, just as expected.

“Illya!”

When he called out to her, Illya skipped over to him cheerfully. Shirou had been worried that she might still be upset about what happened last time, but it seemed that wasn’t the case. As she hugged him, he brought up something he and Saber had agreed on right before leaving.

“Illya, would you like to eat at our place today?”

After what happened at Taizan, he wanted to make it up to her.

“A-At Shirou’s house!?”

Illya’s eyes sparkled with delight for a moment, but then her expression clouded over.

“Is that... really okay? I came here to kill you, you know? And now I’m going to step inside your house...?”

Her voice was flat, emotionless.

“Please, Illya. I served you awful food last time, so today I want you to try my cooking. I’m begging you!”

Shirou bowed deeply. Illya stared, wide-eyed.

“...So that’s what this is. Hmph, if that’s the case—”

She said with a bashful smile,

“Then satisfy my tongue, Shirou. That’s the condition! If it’s not delicious, you’re getting punished!”

“I’ll do my utmost!”

Shirou saluted crisply, making Illya laugh.

Saber, watching from the side, timidly spoke up.

“What is it, Saber?”

Relieved—there was no longer any trace of hostility from her.

“Well... is it okay if I come too?”

“...No.”

“...I-I see.”

Saber slumped in disappointment, and Illya burst into laughter.

“Just kidding, Saber. I’ll make an exception this time.”

“Th-Thank you.”

Saber thanked her politely, but Illya turned her face away with a huff.

“Come on now, let’s go! Lead the way, Shirou!”

“Right!”

When they reached the Emiya residence, Illya stepped cautiously into the entrance.

“P-Pardon the intrusion...”

She walked down the hall, glancing around nervously.

“Wooden floors... just like I heard.”

Once in the living room, Shirou rolled up his sleeves and headed to the kitchen.

“Alright then, I’ll get lunch started. Just relax and make yourself at home.”

“Make sure it tastes good, okay?”

"Yeah, leave it to me."

Illya watched Shirou working in the kitchen with a cheerful look on her face.

"Hey, Saber."

After a short while, Illya turned to Saber and spoke.

"Would you mind showing me around this house?"

"Sure, I don’t mind, but… are you sure I’m the right one for that?"

"I really wanted Shirou to do it, but he looks busy with cooking, so I’ll settle for you just this once, Saber."

"Haha… got it."

With a wry smile, Saber stood up and followed Illya out into the hallway.

Urged on by her, Saber ended up giving Illya a full tour of the house. At every stop, Illya grumbled and complained, only to burst out in bright laughter moments later. Saber couldn’t help but find her endearing.

She had been the biggest death flag from the start, but spending time with her like this, she looked no different from a normal child. And yet, knowing that she was after Shirou’s life made Saber’s heart grow heavy with conflicting emotions.

"Hey, Saber."

While showing her the back of the house, Illya suddenly lowered her voice. Concerned, Saber asked what was wrong.

"What do you think of Shirou, from your perspective?"

Her expression was tinged with sadness.

"…He's a good kid. Really good."

"…Hey, Saber."

Illya spoke again.

"I came to Japan with the intention of killing Shirou."

"…Illyasviel."

"But… Shirou is such a good boy…"

Illya was crying.

"It’s strange, isn’t it? I should be happy he’s a good person… and yet, it makes me feel really sad. I can’t help thinking… if only he were a worse person, it’d be easier."

"…You love Shirou, don’t you?"

"…There’s no way I could hate him. Every time I see him, I like him more. Even after coming to this house…"

Not wanting to show her tear-streaked face, Illya went to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she spoke to Saber again.

"I'm the one who'll kill Shirou. So until then, you absolutely can’t lose, okay, Saber?"

Meeting her crimson eyes, Saber gave a solemn nod.

"I don’t intend to let you kill him either, but I will protect Shirou. No matter what… even if it costs me my life."

"…You can’t die either, Saber. Not until I kill you myself."

"Illyasviel?"

"Just call me Illya. And I’m the one who’s going to kill you too. So if anyone else lays a finger on you… I won’t forgive them."

"…Understood."

Her words were disturbingly ominous, but Saber smiled.

When they returned to the living room, it was perfect timing—the food was ready. Illya sat up properly on her knees and picked up her chopsticks.

"You know how to use chopsticks, Illya?"

"It’s easy. Like this, right?"

"Uh, no, your grip’s a bit off. You hold it like this—"

Shirou corrected Illya’s grip, then brought his hands together.

"See, Illya? Before meals, it’s good manners to do this with your hands."

"Like this?"

"That’s right. Okay—itadakimasu."

"Itadakimaaasu!"

Illya’s eating style was unexpectedly bold and lively.

"Mhm mhm, you pass! Shirou, you’re really good at cooking. Delicious food is always a good thing!"

"Then, about my last failure—"

"I’ll forgive you. Be grateful for my boundless generosity!"

"Ahh, thank you, Illya."

Illya cheerfully stuffed her mouth with hamburger steak.

"Illya, you’ve got sauce on your cheek. If you leave it, it’ll get in your hair."

Saber gently wiped around Illya’s mouth with a handkerchief.

"Thanks, Saber."

"You're welcome."

"…What’s this? You two seem to be getting along way better than I thought. And now even Saber’s calling her Illya casually."

Shirou said with a pleased smile.

"Well, we both went through a pretty rough time thanks to you, Shirou."

"We founded a victims’ alliance."

"…Please have mercy on me already."

With mischievous grins on their faces, the two teased him while Shirou drooped his shoulders in defeat.

Time passed peacefully. The three of them were enjoying themselves so much that Shirou completely lost track of time.

When Illya finally said it was time for her to go, Shirou and Saber decided to walk her partway home.

"Come hang out again sometime, Illya."

Shirou said warmly.

"I’ll be the one to cook next time. I might not match up to Shirou, but I’ll try to make something decent."

Saber chimed in.

"I’m looking forward to it."

Illya smiled softly.

The three of them continued walking side by side for a while. Then, as they reached a three-way intersection, Illya suddenly spoke.

"…You two need to stay alert, okay? Not a single participant has been eliminated yet. The Holy Grail War should be entering its real phase soon—"

"Ah, no, there’s already been one dropout."

Shirou said, trying to ease Illya’s concern.

"…Huh?"

"Rider’s already been defeated. I get that you’re worried about us, and it means a lot, but Saber and I—though we’re still inexperienced—managed to take her down. So don’t worry."

Shirou grinned, but Illya’s eyes widened in disbelief.

"Sh-Shirou… come on, don’t lie just to sound cool."

"It’s not a lie," Shirou replied firmly.

"…Rider really is gone. Her Master got away, but the Servant was completely annihilated."

His expression turned bitter, perhaps recalling the moment he cut off Rider’s head.

"What Shirou’s saying is true, Illya. Rider is dead."

When Saber confirmed it, Illya’s eyes flew open.

"…You’re not joking? You’re not both just mistaken?"

Illya still looked unconvinced. Shirou checked the time. Between the meal, the chatting, and the walk, evening had already crept up on them.

"It’s probably about the time Tohsaka gets home. Hold on, I’ll call her from that payphone and confirm. Rider’s the one who set up the boundary field at the school, right? If that’s gone, that’ll prove it."

He dropped a ten-yen coin into the phone and dialed his home number. The phone rang dozens of times, and just when he was about to give up, someone picked up.

"H-Hello, this is the Emiya residence…"

No doubt about it—it was Rin’s voice on the other end.

She sounded oddly tense.

"Hey, it’s me. Shirou. I just wanted to ask you something—"

"Huh? What are you—Ar… wait, what? What!?"

"H-Hey, what’s going on, Tohsaka?"

"N-No, it’s fine. I just got startled, that’s all. So, where are you right now?"

"At the three-way junction at the bottom of the hill. I’m with Illya at the moment."

"Wait, Illya? You mean… the Einzbern girl!? W-Wait, what do you mean you’re with her!?"

"It’s not like we’re fighting or anything. We were just talking. But when I brought up defeating Rider, she didn’t believe me. So I wanted to ask—you checked the school, right? What happened to the boundary?"

"…Seriously, you’re way too relaxed. The barrier was gone. No mistake—Rider is down for sure."

"Thanks. And, uh… sorry, but I’ve got a favor to ask. Can we talk later? I’ll make something you like for dinner. Just… give me some time, alright?"

"Fine, I don’t mind… but you seriously need to take this more seriously. You’re hanging out with the Einzbern Master, for heaven’s sake…"

Shirou could only offer apologies as Rin kept grumbling, and then hung up.

When he returned to Illya, who was waiting in front of the phone booth, he told her what Rin had confirmed.

Illya’s expression immediately changed—now cold and distant, like a completely different person.

Maybe defeating Rider had made her finally recognize him as a true enemy. As that thought crossed Shirou’s mind, Illya spoke, ignoring his panic.

"…I’m going home."

"I-Illya…?"

She turned on her heel and walked several steps before glancing back over her shoulder.

"…Shirou. Don’t go wandering around at night."

"Uh…"

Shirou couldn’t come up with a response. Illya turned her gaze to Saber next.

"Saber, no matter what, you must protect Shirou. And if you’ve allied with Rin, make sure you stay with her at all times. At least during the night, never separate."

There was a quiet intensity behind Illya’s words that left both Shirou and Saber with no choice but to nod.

"…Bye-bye."

She ran off, and neither of them had the heart to follow.

Shirou murmured to himself.

"…What’s going on with you, Illya?"