Chapter 11: If I had that power…

It hurt. The hand I stretched out for help grasped only empty air, and my legs, defying my will, descended into the depths. If that old man hadn’t gotten his hands on that, things might have been different. Maybe there was still a path where I could’ve been saved, even if only by the slimmest hope. But I’m already complete.

Ten years ago, I violated all three taboos said to be unforgivable for any human.

Not as a magus—a title for show. Not even as a womb—the original intent. I was completed as a magical artifact, and in exchange, my humanity was stripped away.

A tool doesn’t need emotions. Based on that reasoning, the destruction of my mind was incorporated into the process.

I was defiled by an insect modeled after a phallus. My ears, nostrils, mouth, vagina, urethra, and anus—every orifice of the human body became nothing more than a passageway for those bugs.

I was forced to kill. The first ones I murdered were six of my classmates, boys and girls alike. After that, I slaughtered acquaintances one after another without using magic. The methods I used were modeled after a serial killer who’d once shocked the world.

While receiving glares and curses from my victims, I devoured their flesh and blood. Until the process was complete, my meals consisted only of their eyeballs, brains, meat, and organs.

Cracks formed in the wall of my mind, and mental manipulation was added to the process. I was made to experience, in dreams, the torture and killings I’d inflicted on those victims.

I felt what it’s like when electricity sears your brain. I knew the smell of my own flesh and bones burning. I came to understand the horror of my internal organs dissolving. I felt the terror of eating my own flesh.

As long as my basic biological functions and necessary magical functions remained, they didn’t care.

But unfortunately for them, my personality didn’t vanish completely. The capacity to feel pain as pain and beauty as beauty remained.

Even so, I was complete as a tool. The necessary functions were installed, and the wall of my mind had been utterly shattered.

Because of that, I was neither allowed to erase the emotions that were left, nor to escape into death.

---

After dinner, Shirou visited Rin’s room. He knocked three times before Rin’s voice came from inside.

“Shirou? I’m in the middle of something, so could you just come in?”

Apparently, she was in the middle of a ritual. As instructed, Shirou stepped inside and found Rin drawing blood into a syringe. Once the syringe was filled with deep red blood, she turned its tip toward a jewel on the desk and let the contents drip onto it.

The moment she clutched the jewel, it emitted a dazzling flash.

“Hmmm… Only thirty percent, huh? I’ve got nine of these on hand, but honestly, it’s still not enough to feel secure…”

Looking disheartened, Rin sighed and returned the jewel to her jewelry box.

“Um… You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry to keep you waiting. Archer said he had a strange bad feeling, so I thought I’d prepare some extra trump cards, but…”

It didn’t go well, she said with a shrug.

“Archer said that?”

“Yeah. He was being all serious about it. Anyway, didn’t you come here because you needed something from me?”

“Ah, yeah. Actually, I… wanted to ask you something, Tohsaka.”

“What is it?”

“I want you to… take me as your student.”

“Sure.”

“Wait, I know it’s sudden, and you’ll probably—wait, what? Really!?”

Rin accepted Shirou’s request so easily it caught him off guard. Shirou’s eyes widened in surprise as Rin smiled and said,

“You want power to protect Saber, right?”

Bullseye. Shirou fell silent, and Rin laughed merrily.

“Then you’ve made the right choice. What you need most right now is to build up your inner strength. So, to start with—”

She opened a drawer in her desk. What she pulled out made Shirou gasp in shock.

“—Let’s talk about this, shall we?”

The air froze. For a moment, Shirou thought Rin was going to kill him. That’s how much hostility she was radiating toward him. Her previous smile had vanished without a trace.

“W-What’s wrong, Tohsaka…?”

“This is one of Archer’s twin swords, right? But Archer said he never gave it to you. So, how did you get this?”

“No, that’s…!”

Shirou hurriedly explained his battle with Rider, feeling desperate to tell her the truth.

He could feel the hostility in her shifting toward murderous intent.

“You projected Archer’s Noble Phantasm—an artifact of a Heroic Spirit? That’s impossible…”

“Even if you say that… It is something I projected…”

Feeling like she doubted him, Shirou tried to explain further. But Rin shook her head.

“I’m not saying you’re lying. I believe you. I’m saying your projection magic is what’s impossible.”

“What do you mean…?”

“Projection magic only creates temporary copies of an original using mana. Normally, the things you project disappear in a matter of minutes. But the Kanshou you projected is still fully materialized a whole day later. That’s completely abnormal. And projecting a Heroic Spirit’s Noble Phantasm is pure madness. Normally, it would leave you mentally shattered. What you did was…”

“So… you’re saying my magic is abnormal?”

“Exactly. Giving form to something that doesn’t exist anywhere is the same as an idea eating into reality. You’re basically picking a fight with the world itself. I think that’s your real ‘power.’ This projection is just a piece of it.”

“Power, huh…”

“There are only a few abilities that interfere with reality like that. But they all have one thing in common.”

“Wh-What is it?”

Rin’s expression turned severe.

“They’re feats that surpass human limits. The Five True Magics and other techniques of equal scale.”

There was anger in her voice.

“It’s ridiculous. A rookie like you might have reached heights that most magi can only dream of—how insulting is that?”

It was an unreasonably harsh tone, but Shirou could understand where she was coming from.

The Five Magics. They’re one of the ultimate goals of any magus—miracles that no technology, money, or time can accomplish, no matter the era.

For someone like Shirou, barely knowledgeable in magic, to possibly wield such a power… It was only natural for someone like Rin—a pureblood magus—to be frustrated.

“…With this power, can I protect Saber?”

Still, he didn’t have the luxury of indulging her emotions. What mattered was whether this “power” was actually useful.

“…You can project Noble Phantasms. That’s a downright broken ability. Reckless, yes, but if you can master it, it’s definitely a powerful weapon.”

“Then—”

“But don’t get the wrong idea.”

Rin took a deep breath and calmed herself before continuing.

“Even if you can make a Noble Phantasm, it’s meaningless unless you can wield it. You’ll be fighting seasoned heroes, remember.”

“So then…”

“I’m telling you not to overestimate yourself. Even if you learn to project Noble Phantasms, don’t think you can win against Servants.”

But if I can’t win, I can’t protect Saber. Protecting Saber means defeating every other Servant—it’s the same thing.

“…You’re clearly obsessed. Here’s a warning: no matter how much you try to carry the burden alone, there’s a limit to what one person can do. Rely on the people around you more. Even if you can’t defeat the enemy, just buying time could let me or Archer land the killing blow. Saber too—she’s slowly improving thanks to training with Archer.”

“I’m not letting Saber fight anymore.”

“…What?”

Rin’s mouth dropped open in disbelief.

“W-What do you mean? How do you expect to survive a Holy Grail War without letting your Servant fight!?”

“Saber’s just an ordinary person. She’s only here because she got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. She has no real reason to fight. That’s why—I’m not letting her fight. The enemy… I’ll—”

“Don’t be stupid.”

Rin snapped, furious.

“No matter how much you throw your life away, there’s a limit to what you can do. The basic rule of the Holy Grail War is that only Servants can defeat Servants. Sure, there are exceptions, and I have a few tricks if the conditions are right. But they’re still exceptions. If you’re getting arrogant just because you can project Noble Phantasms, you’re heading straight for death.”

“But I—”

Shirou remembered Saber’s tearful face after she was forced to kill Rider.

He never wanted to see her like that again.

“…Seriously, it’s the opposite of before. Now you’re the one ignoring Saber’s will and running wild. I’ve had enough.”

“I—I just—”

“Cool your head. Unless you change your thinking, I’m not teaching you anything. Right now, anything I teach you will just get you killed faster.”

“T-Tohsaka… I…”

“Talk to Saber again. Really talk. Try to understand each other’s feelings. You’re both being way too one-sided.”

“…Sorry. I’ve just been saying whatever I want…”

“Seriously. I’m about done with your nonsense. Don’t disappoint me any more than you already have.”

“Yeah… I’ll talk to her. Archer told me the same thing… but I was just being selfish again…”

As Shirou turned and walked away with slumped shoulders, Rin let out a long sigh.

“Honestly, the smart thing to do would be to train him up and add him to the team as soon as possible…”

If Shirou can project Noble Phantasms, it would expand their tactical options and raise their chances of victory. Even if the risk of self-destruction increased, as long as she kept a close eye on him, it shouldn’t be a problem. But watching those two always made her want to meddle.

“…I’m getting soft.”

Those two are so alike, Rin muttered.

Neither of them seemed aware, but Saber and Shirou had extremely similar temperaments. Rin still didn’t have a solid theory about Saber’s abnormality, but one likely factor in why she’d drawn out the psyche of a man named Hino Satoru was Shirou’s very nature.

Shirou headed to the dojo to talk to Saber. He could hear the clacking of bamboo swords—she was in the middle of a sparring session with Archer.

Peeking inside, he saw Archer was, as usual, drilling Saber in the sword techniques of King Arthur.

“…Just like him.”

From what Shirou could tell, Archer wasn’t a genius. More the opposite—he seemed like the hardworking type.

Behind those refined sword techniques was immense effort. Through blood and tears, he’d climbed to a height that should’ve been unreachable.

It made Shirou burn with envy. If only he had more time—just enough to put in the effort…

“…I’ll come back later.”

Saber was immersed in her training with Archer. All of it to hone her skills for one reason only—to protect Shirou.

Even though he didn’t want her to fight, he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt. The intensity of her focus made it impossible to butt in.

He returned to his room and laid out his futon. He would sleep early, wake early, and talk to Saber.

“I…”

What came to mind was the smile Kiritsugu had given him that day—when he pulled him from the fire.

That smile was the reason he admired him. The reason he inherited his dream.

He wanted to be a hero of justice. Without a guide, he had blindly run toward that goal.

But now, that path seemed to blur before him.

A hero of justice always carries love in their heart.

You’re ignoring Saber’s will and charging ahead.

Saber’s words. Rin’s words.

What they had in common was this: a hero must look directly at those they wish to save.

It’s not enough to simply save them. That’s what they both had said.

“…To be a hero of justice—”

His consciousness began to fade.

Come.

…A dream?

His body was asleep. He couldn’t move a finger by his own will.

And yet, his legs moved on their own. A strange ringing echoed in his ears.

Come.

Cold.

He felt as if he were somewhere far north.

A chill ran through him, slicing through his flesh.

Come.

No one was around. Even on a street that would normally carry some sign of life at midnight, there was no one.

Through the empty city, his legs kept walking.

Come.

Even speaking was beyond him.

His body moved without the will of Shirou Emiya.

Come.

He arrived near the house of one of his classmates.

At the foot of a mountain considered the city’s symbol—Mount Enzō.

He began to climb the stone steps leading to Ryuudou Temple. Step by step.

Now, come this far, boy.

The ringing in his ears became a clear voice.

No, it hadn’t changed. His consciousness had only now begun to recognize it as a voice.

From the very beginning, the ringing had been the repeated invitation of a woman.

A voice saturated with magic, filling his skull—clearly a witch’s voice.

He could see the temple gate. Beyond it, the temple itself. Something was there.

No. If he crossed that gate, he wouldn’t come back. He wouldn’t return alive.

—He wouldn’t be able to protect Saber.

“…!”

Suddenly, his awareness snapped into full clarity.

Wake up. Run! his mind screamed.

But his limbs disobeyed. They carried him straight through the temple gate.

“…Ah.”

In the center of the temple courtyard was a flickering, shimmering shadow.

Emerging from that shadow was a figure straight out of a fairytale—a magician. A witch, radiating an inhuman aura.

“Stop right there, boy.”

At her command, Shirou’s body halted in place.

As if her will, not his, had always been in control.

“…Ah…”

A Servant. Most likely, the class was Caster—a Heroic Spirit of magic.

“Yes, that’s right. I am Caster. Welcome to my temple.”

Her voice was cool and composed.

Shirou summoned all his strength to move his body, but he couldn’t budge an inch.

He’d just vowed to protect Saber, and now he was showing this kind of disgrace. The humiliation twisted his face.

“—Let… me go.”

He sharpened his consciousness. Whatever trick this was, it didn’t matter.

If he was to break free of Caster’s grip, he’d need to expel her magic from his body—

“How adorable, that resistance. But it’s pointless. Haven’t you realized it yet? What binds you isn’t my magical energy, but the magic itself. Once a spell is cast, you can’t wash it away with magic.”

Impossible…

If what she said was true, then she had cursed him while he slept.

But a magus’s magic circuits come with anti-magic resistance. They’re not supposed to succumb to mental interference so easily.

Unless… she’d gotten extremely close and directly embedded the curse…

“I’m the one who makes that possible. Have you finally grasped just how vast the gap is between your strength and mine—?”

“…Shut… up.”

Caster sneered, mocking his pitiful resistance to magical control.

“Oh, don’t worry. The people of this town are all mine. I won’t kill them—not right away, at least. I need to extract every last drop of magical energy from them.”

“…What did you just say?”

He couldn’t ignore that.

Did she just say she was draining magical energy from the people of Fuyuki?

“Caster… you’re targeting civilians too—!?”

“Oh? You didn’t know? I assumed you were already aware, since you’re working with that little girl…”

Caster pressed her hand to her lips in an exaggerated gesture, and it sparked a surge of anger in me.

“Casters are granted the skill of territory creation. It’s the same as a mage setting up a workshop at their base. The only difference lies in the quality of the workshop. A workshop created by a mage of my level deserves to be called a temple. Especially here—this is a dead zone for Servants. It’s an excellent base, easy to gather mana, and you can even sense the remnants of the townspeople drifting about, can’t you?”

If you focus your eyes, you’ll see it. The mana drifting here is composed of the remnants of human brilliance—.

“Caster!!”

I shouted, voice burning with rage. But my body still refused to move.

“Well then, I suppose it’s time we brought this conversation to a close. I’ve been watching you for a while now. You seem to have quite the fascinating ability. Let’s start by peeling off that Command Seal, carve away at you as I please, and turn you into a nice projection wand.”

I didn’t fully understand what she meant, but one thing was clear—this was bad.

I didn’t care if my limbs tore off. I poured my full will into trying to move, to resist—but my arms and legs wouldn’t so much as twitch.

“Oh my, still have the will to resist, even now...? Fufu, what an amusing little boy. I had summoned Saber to deal with that thing wandering around the city, but you’ll do nicely as another fine weapon.”

She was going to use Saber. That single phrase locked something into place inside me with a click.

Caster pointed a finger glowing with ominous magical energy—but I ignored it.

“Now then, accept your fate, boy.”

“—Don’t screw with me.”

“Oh?”

I’ll project it. I’ll project his sword, and cut this woman’s head clean off.

No hesitation. I would end this woman, here and now—.

“You’re adorable. Truly, adorable. To think you’d still try to resist... I’m growing more and more fond of you.”

I froze in shock. Just as I channeled mana into my circuits to initiate the projection, something dammed it up. The warped mana backfired through my body as stabbing pain.

I couldn’t hold it in. What I coughed up was a clump of red.

“But, if you don’t stop this nonsense soon—”

That’s when it happened.

The temple gate behind us suddenly exploded. A golden streak shot toward the heavens.

Moments later, dozens of arrows came raining down. Caster retreated in haste, and the arrows embedded themselves right where she had just stood.

“Ar—Archer?”

From beyond the rubble emerged a red knight.

“…To be dragged along this far after walking right into the enemy’s trap... I’ve truly outdone myself in foolishness.”

Archer landed before me, shielding me from Caster, and spoke.

“Wh-Why are you—”

“No time to stand there dazed. Just now, I severed the threads that woman had tied to you.”

“Ah…”

He was right. I looked down at my limbs.

They moved. I nearly trembled from the sensation of my body once again obeying my will.

“—Stay still for now. If you start flailing around, I won’t be able to look after you.”

“Ar-Archer, you say...? What happened to Assassin…?”

“Can’t you tell just by looking? I blew him away along with his vessel—the temple gate. His swordplay was decent, but he was still just a samurai without even a Noble Phantasm. You’re a fool for placing such a thing as a guard.”

“...Assassin was just a disposable pawn. Don’t go thinking you’ve won just because you killed him!”

“Then how about we test that theory? Unfortunately, I don’t have much time. I need to end this quickly, or my idiotic apprentice—who can’t ‘stay’ when told—will come running.”

As he muttered that, Archer dashed toward Caster. At some point, he had drawn a pair of yin-yang swords.

Caster didn’t even have time to chant. Before she could raise her arm, Archer closed the distance and cleaved her body in two.

“—Tch.”

Archer clicked his tongue in irritation as he looked down at the corpse of his foe, felled in a flash. Apparently, despite all his boasting, he was annoyed by how easily Caster had gone down.

But Shirou had no time to worry about that. Right now, he was completely entranced by the swords in Archer’s hands. Two beautifully forged blades. They made him painfully aware of how shoddy his own projected swords were.

No intent to kill. No ambition to leave a name in history. No competitive spirit to surpass the weapons of others. No faith seeking a grand legacy. These swords bore none of that.

They existed for one reason only—because a blacksmith wanted to make them.

Their rugged purity was beautiful. He couldn’t take his eyes off them.

“—Ah.”

Caster’s corpse began to vanish.

As he watched, Archer started to sheath his swords—but in that moment—.

“…You fail, Archer. Thinking you’d won with just that… how disappointing.”

The witch’s voice echoed all around.

At the same time, beams of light rained down. Archer deflected them with his twin swords.

Looking up at the sky—there she was. Caster, reigning above.

“…Spatial transference, or maybe localized time manipulation? I see. You stored up quite a bit of mana. Within this space, it seems you can even pull off imitations of magic. Hah, I suppose your boasting wasn’t entirely baseless.”

“Exactly. I’m the opposite of you. What a letdown, Archer. I thought you had potential, so I gave you a try—but if this is all you’ve got, then I have no use for you.”

“That stings. I’ll try to do better next time.”

“—You fool. There won’t be a next time. Die here, Archer.”

“…Tch.”

Caster soared in the sky. Light arrays spread from her outstretched mantle, unleashing a storm of magical bullets.

From that point on, the battle was entirely one-sided.

Each bolt of light carried absurd levels of magical energy. Even a single hit would be devastating, even to a Heroic Spirit.

High-level spellcasting far beyond standard magecraft, fired off in rapid succession with single-action chants. The sheer overwhelming force was so immense, even someone as inexperienced as Shirou could feel it.

“To think she can cast Rank A spells one after another like this…”

Archer ran, fully committed to retreating from the temple grounds.

But midway, as if noticing something, he abruptly turned and rushed back toward them.

"You fool! What are you doing just standing there like an idiot!?"

His expression twisted in urgency, Archer lifted Shirou into his arms and broke into a run.

"Huh?"

Only then did Shirou finally register what was happening—he realized just how dangerous their situation was.

“Damn it, why do I have to deal with this crap!”

“H-Hey, put me down! I can run on my own!”

“Don’t be stupid! You’d be vaporized in an instant! Just shut up and stay still! We’re getting out of here—!”

“Shirou-kun!!”

At that voice, Archer let out a deep sigh.

“I told you not to come, you idiot!”

“B-But… Shirou-kun was—!”

“Then hold on to him tight!!”

Archer hurled Shirou’s body toward the approaching Saber, who had casually shown up again. At the same time, he raised his hand to the sky.

“Rho Aias!!”

Seven radiant petals of light burst forth, forming a barrier that blocked Caster’s magical projectile.

“Rho Aias!? That can’t be—!”

Caster’s voice rang out in shock. But even as she cried out, twin trails of light—one white, one black—rushed at her from both sides.

“Wha—!?”

Caster’s robe tore. The sheer astonishment at Archer’s action delayed her reaction for a split second.

No one could blame her. The shield Archer deployed was the legendary defense used by a hero of the Trojan War. For something like that to suddenly appear—of course she’d be rattled.

The twin swords—white and black—struck her at the same time the shield deployed.

Meanwhile, Archer had already prepared his final move.

He knelt to one knee on the ground and aimed his bow high into the air at Caster. What sat nocked on the string was no ordinary arrow—but a strange, twisted golden sword.

A warped golden blade. There was no clear reason why Archer would have that sword. Because that sword was—

"I am the bone of my sword."

Caster’s urgent voice rang out, beginning a high-level spell with the first line of an incantation.

In response to the grand magic being woven, Archer released his “arrow.”

“—!”

The shot shattered Caster’s spell head-on, pierced through her magical defenses, and vanished beyond the clouds.

“Ah… guh—!”

From above came Caster’s gasping cry. The destructive energy, which warped even space itself, had torn part of her body apart.

And yet, she still clung to life. That fact alone left them stunned.

“…Hoh. You survived that? More capable than I expected, Caster.”

“Guh… ahh…”

Caster landed slowly on the ground, wheezing in pain. As she struggled for breath, Archer drew his twin swords again to finish her off—

“…Wait.”

Her voice made him pause.

“Archer. You’ve noticed them too, haven’t you? The presence wandering the city right now?”

Those words changed Archer’s expression.

“You…”

“I’m the only one who can deal with that thing. I don’t care how many muscle-brained heroes you’ve got—it won’t be enough to beat it. So… how about we work together?”

Shirou and Saber were both left wide-eyed at Caster’s proposal.

“If your strength and my magecraft were combined, we could take it down and restore the Holy Grail War to how it should be. What do you say?”

“…I refuse. I have no need to borrow your power.”

“You really think you can handle it all by yourself?”

“…Who knows. Still, if you’re planning to take care of it, I’ll put off defeating you for now.”

Shirou’s voice rose in protest at that.

He had no idea what they were talking about. But he did know that Caster had threatened the lives of many.

And yet, Archer was about to let her go.

“Wait, Archer! You’re seriously going to let her go—!?”

As he broke away from Saber and moved toward Archer, Caster’s form melted into the darkness and vanished.

“W-Wait, Caster!”

“You idiot. If you go after her, you’ll only get yourself killed.”

Archer grabbed Shirou by the collar as he tried to give chase and threw him toward Saber.

“Why the hell are you letting her go!?”

“Even if I cut her down here, she would’ve just escaped again. Besides, if she’s going to take out that nuisance wandering the surface, then it’s smarter to let her go for now. With her level of magic, maybe…”

“What are you even talking about!? ‘Let her go’—you’re seriously going to let her attack more people!?”

“I’m not the one making her attack them. Anyway, I’m heading back. You two should retreat too, while you can.”

“W-Wait!”

Shirou reached out, but his hand grasped only empty air.

“S-Shirou-kun, please calm down…”

“How can I!? Caster’s been attacking people all over the city! And yet he—!”

“There must be a reason! Otherwise—!”

“Otherwise, what!? You’re saying there’s a good reason to just stand by while Caster attacks innocent people!? What the hell kind of reason justifies that!?”

“Please calm down, Shirou-kun!”

“…He could’ve stopped her… If it was him, he could’ve stopped her…”

Shirou clenched his fists tightly.

“…If only he used his power…”