Chapter 5: I Can’t Accept This…

After the conversation came to a pause, Rin went back home. Once she, who had been like a lubricating oil between them, left, an awkward silence immediately fell between Shirou and Saber.

"...Want me to make some tea?"

"Y-Yeah. Please."

Given Saber’s identity, Shirou was understandably flustered. She looked like a cute girl his own age, but inside, she was more like a college-aged guy. Telling him not to be confused was asking too much. He quickly brewed the tea and came back, still unsure of what to say.

"Um, Hino-san—"

"What is it?"

"Once again, thank you for last night."

"...No, well... I should be the one thanking you..."

Not used to being on the receiving end of gratitude, Saber gave a slightly bashful smile.

"Uh, is your body feeling better now?"

"Ah, yeah. I’m totally fine—"

The air still felt stiff. Something was off.

"Hey, Shirou-kun."

"Y-Yes?"

"You don't have to force yourself to use polite speech, you know?"

"...Sorry."

The awkwardness stemmed from Shirou’s formal tone. Given Saber’s mismatch between appearance and personality, Shirou didn’t know how to act around him. Hence, the strange politeness.

"Also, just call me Saber. It’s really not convincing to go around calling myself Hino Sato looking like this. If people around us start getting suspicious, it’ll be a hassle."

"...Got it. Okay then, Saber."

"What is it?"

"What are you going to do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the reason you tried to protect me was so you could keep your sense of self, right?"

"...Well, yeah, that’s part of it."

Unable to bear the tension, Saber looked away.

"I-I’m not blaming you or anything. It’s just... if your mind’s stable now, I don’t think you need to force yourself to protect me anymore..."

"What are you trying to say?"

"You’re not even a mage, just an ordinary person, right? So there’s no reason for you to get involved in a fight like this. If there’s something else you want to do—"

"Stop."

Cutting Shirou off, Saber sighed.

"Shirou-kun. If I do as I please, you’ll die. You understand that, don’t you?"

"...But—"

"No buts. I appreciate how you feel, but I can’t and won’t accept any course of action that leads to your death. Sure, at the beginning, I decided to protect you to keep myself from losing control—but that’s not the only reason I put myself on the line."

Saber spoke firmly.

"Like I said earlier, I can’t overlook a child’s death. Especially not someone I’ve gotten this involved with."

"I’m not a kid—"

"Yes, you are. From the perspective of a college guy, a high school second-year like you is very much a kid."

Saber said it with a teasing smile, and Shirou let out a groan.

"Protecting you is something I chose for myself. So no matter what you say, I’m not going to stop. Fortunately, we’ve formed an alliance with Rin, and as long as we stay cautious, we probably won’t end up in too much danger."

Hearing that, Shirou muttered tensely.

"I’ll be... safe, right?"

"...Shirou-kun?"

"I get that I’m going to be okay... but what about you, Saber?"

Saber’s eyes widened at the rare sharpness in Shirou’s normally calm voice.

"Back when you were talking with Tohsaka... I couldn’t butt in but..."

Biting his lip, Shirou glared at Saber.

"Even the terms of the alliance with her—Saber’s the only one taking the risk!"

"C-Calm down, okay?"

Saber, clearly rattled, was met with Shirou’s words.

"Shouldn’t you be the one getting protected here!?"

Breathing heavily as he shouted, Shirou made Saber lower his gaze.

"...Shirou-kun."

A whisper of a voice.

"I’m already dead."

That single sentence made Shirou gasp.

"I died. Got drunk... got hit by a trailer..."

Saber slumped forward, resting his head on his arms.

"It wasn’t exactly a cool way to go out, but my life already ended."

He took deep breaths, trying desperately to keep his emotions in check.

"...Hey, can’t the Holy Grail bring you back to life?"

Shirou spoke like he’d just had a flash of inspiration. But Saber, still looking somber, slowly lifted his head.

"The Grail... was promised to Rin, wasn’t it?"

"Tohsaka would understand if we talked to her—"

"Not a chance. She doesn’t trust me. If I go back on the agreement to give her the Grail, she’ll definitely break off the alliance. If that happens, we’re finished."

"But still..."

"...I don’t plan on using the Grail for myself."

Saber said it clearly, and Shirou’s voice trembled.

"...Why not?"

"I appreciate your sympathy. I really do. But I want you to prioritize yourself over me. You’re a victim in all of this too, after all."

"...Saber."

Clenching his fists tightly, Shirou watched as Saber let out a small sigh.

"There’s something I haven’t told you."

Saber began.

"I came from Tokyo in the year 2014."

"2014...?"

Shirou blinked in surprise at the unexpected statement.

"And... in the world I came from, there was no such place as Fuyuki City."

"W-What do you mean?"

"It’s simple. The world I came from and this world are completely different. Even the Holy Grail couldn’t bring me back as me and return me to my original world. That’s just impossible."

"That’s..."

"That’s why I don’t need the Grail. It wouldn’t mean anything. Once this battle ends, I’ll just disappear. So please—don’t worry about me."

Shirou stared grimly at the table, brows furrowed in thought.

“…Even if you can’t return to your original world, couldn’t you at least live in this one?”

At that, Saber let out a quiet sigh.

“That much… might be possible.”

Shirou’s eyes lit up, as if hope had just flickered to life. But the moment he saw Saber’s expression, his face stiffened again.

“I might be able to return to my original body. But if I do that, the Mage’s Association and the Holy Church will become a serious problem. Do you really think those organizations would let someone who’s been resurrected by the Holy Grail just walk free?”

“…Still, even so—”

“There’s no way I, a regular person, could outrun either of them. I don’t want to end up dissected or turned into a guinea pig for human experiments. That’s why there’s really only one path left for me. The only thing left is to choose how I disappear. And if I can vanish protecting you… well, that’s not such a bad way to go, is it? At least it’s better than getting drunk and hit by a truck—”

“Saber!”

Shirou’s eyes blazed with anger as he glared at Saber.

“Don’t say things like that. There has to be another way! Something other than disappearing—!”

“…S-Shirou-kun…”

Flustered and overwhelmed, Saber looked unsure of how to respond. But Shirou pressed on.

“If you’re going to protect me, then I’ll protect you too. I’ll find another path—something that doesn’t end with you fading away!”

“…Shirou-kun.”

Saber sighed deeply.

“…If we keep going like this, we’re just going to go around in circles.”

“I just… I can’t accept you disappearing, Saber.”

Shirou bit his lip hard.

Saber found himself genuinely moved. He wasn’t acting out of recklessness or desperation—and yet, he could care so deeply about someone he’d only just met. That kind of empathy was rare.

“Shirou-kun…”

Saber offered a gentle smile.

“Thank you. I really mean it.”

“…But I—”

“Originally, you were supposed to have the real King Arthur standing before you. But because I got pulled in, everything’s gotten… complicated. I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“…Why are you apologizing, Saber?”

“I don’t know.”

Saber chuckled softly, and Shirou’s shoulders sagged.

“By the way… are you really okay? Physically, I mean.”

Saber gave Shirou a concerned look.

“You don’t look well. Don’t push yourself too hard.”

“…You’re the last person I want to hear that from.”

Letting out a deep sigh, Shirou glanced at the clock. Not long after, the doorbell rang—Rin had returned.

Since they were allies now, Rin had insisted that sharing a base of operations would be more efficient. Shirou ended up assigning her the guest room in the detached western-style annex.

“…You don’t even have a single piece of lab equipment? What kind of mage are you?”

Grumbling as she moved in, Rin claimed the biggest and nicest room, then hung a sign on the door that read “Under Renovation — Do Not Enter” and shut herself in.

“…Come to think of it, Saber needs a room too, right?”

When Shirou asked, Saber replied, “If possible, I’d like the room next to yours.”

The request sent Shirou into a panic, but Saber quickly explained.

“I know it’s complicated given how I look, but for the sake of security, I’d appreciate the compromise.”

Faced with Saber’s serious tone, Shirou let out a resigned sigh and nodded. Even if Saber was a guy on the inside, outwardly he looked like an unbelievably cute girl. Honestly, Shirou would’ve preferred to have him stay in the annex with Rin.

“…Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

Muttering half in defeat, Shirou guided Saber to the room next to his and helped carry in the furnishings.

“Shirou-kun, can I bring this game into my room?”

Saber’s eyes sparkled at the sight of the mountain of knick-knacks left behind by the woman who visited almost daily—someone Shirou considered like an older sister.

“And this DVD recorder and player too…”

In no time at all, the once-empty room had transformed into a space brimming with the warmth of everyday life.

“Wow… it’s been a long time since I slept on a futon. I think I’ll keep the remote by my pillow.”

Watching Saber cheerfully setting up the room brought a quiet smile to Shirou’s face. It felt like, at last, he was seeing Saber’s true self.

Once Saber’s room was fully set up, both of them let out synchronized yawns.

“Looks like we both need a break.”

Shirou nodded honestly at Saber’s suggestion. He was exhausted, his eyelids heavy.

Returning to his room, he lay down and quickly slipped into unconsciousness.

When he woke again, it was already evening. Heading to the living room, he found Saber and Rin sipping tea while watching TV. Saber would burst into laughter now and then at the comedy show, while Rin gave her a look of disbelief.

“Oh, you’re up, Shirou-kun. Hold on a second.”

As soon as Shirou appeared, Saber hurried off toward the kitchen.

“Saber?”

When he peeked into the kitchen to see what was going on, he found a full meal already prepared.

"Did you make this, Saber?"

"I did. I’ve lived alone, so I can cook reasonably well. I thought you and Rin might still be tired from last night’s battle, so I went ahead and made something. I used what was in the fridge without asking… I hope that’s not a problem?"

"No, it’s fine. You went through the trouble of making it, after all."

Muttering as he spoke, Shirou glanced at the pot Saber was stirring.

"Miso soup?"

"The tofu was close to expiring, so I decided to make something centered around that."

After tasting a bit from a small dish and seeming satisfied, Saber began preparing the bowls. Alongside the miso soup were agedashi tofu and fried rice with chicken. The menu lacked cohesion, but everything looked quite appetizing.

"Just take a seat and wait. I’ll bring it over right away."

"I’ll help set the table at least."

"Thanks."

Once the food was all laid out, Saber brought over some tea.

"Sorry it’s all simple stuff. When you’re living alone, it’s all about quick and tasty meals, so my repertoire’s a bit skewed."

"As long as it tastes good, I’m not complaining."

Rin scooped up a spoonful of fried rice and put it in her mouth.

"Yeah, this passes. Not bad at all."

"...Haha, thanks."

Saber offered a dry smile in response to her condescending tone.

"No, it really is good. The seasoning’s a little unusual, though."

"It’s a recipe I learned from General Vamp."

"General Vamp…?"

"A character from a manga. He’s the leader of a family-oriented evil organization, and they include his recipes in the chapters sometimes."

"A family-oriented evil organization? What the heck is that…"

As they chatted about silly things over the meal, Rin suddenly brought something up as if she’d just thought of it.

"About from now on—how about we take turns cooking dinner? Shirou, you lived alone, so you can cook, right?"

"Yeah, well… enough to get by."

"Saber cooked for us today, so you can do it tomorrow. I’ll take care of the day after."

"…Sure. You’re both living here now, so it’s basically like we’re a family. Cooking meals should be a shared thing—I’ve got no objections."

"Great. Saber, you’re okay with that too?"

"Of course. I don’t mind."

"What about breakfast? Should we take turns with that too?"

When Shirou asked, Rin shrugged.

"Don’t worry about breakfast. I’m not a breakfast person."

"...You should be. Skipping breakfast isn’t healthy."

"It’s my lifestyle, okay? Don’t nitpick."

As Rin snorted and looked away, Shirou sighed.

"Then I guess the two of us will alternate making breakfast."

Saber nodded at her own suggestion. "That sounds good."

"Now, about what’s next—"

Just as the food started to dwindle, Rin brought up the topic abruptly.

"For now, gathering information is the priority. First, we investigate the remaining four Masters."

"Four? It’s five, right? The only confirmed ones are you and me."

"What are you talking about? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about Berserker’s Master."

"...Ah."

"Unbelievable. Are you seriously not registering Illyasviel as an enemy?"

Rin gave him a withering look, and Shirou shrank under it.

"Illyasviel von Einzbern. If you underestimate that girl, you’ll regret it. She’s the Master representing the Einzbern family—one of the three families that started the Holy Grail War."

"The three families?"

"The three mage lineages that created the system of the Holy Grail War in this land—Tohsaka, Einzbern, and Makiri. Among them, the Einzbern stand out with their deep history, power, and wealth. On top of that, the Servant she commands is Berserker. That’s a special class that sacrifices reason for power. It takes a tremendous amount of magical energy to control one. A second-rate mage would just burn out and self-destruct. But Illyasviel summoned a top-tier Heroic Spirit as Berserker and fully controls him. …Frustrating as it is, her ability as a Master far surpasses ours."

"And now that absurdly powerful enemy is trying to kill us…"

Saber muttered with a discouraged expression.

"Well, we’ve got Archer keeping watch. If anyone suspicious comes near, we’ll know right away. We should be able to escape if it comes to that."

"When it comes to gathering intel, we’ll have to rely on Archer too. I can’t sense Servants at all..."

As Saber lowered her gaze, Rin smiled softly.

"Scouting is Archer’s specialty, so it’s fine. Besides, it’s more dangerous to act rashly and end up giving the enemy information. Archer will handle intel-gathering. Shirou, you just live your life normally and make sure no one finds out you’re a Master. Keep your Command Seals hidden, avoid deserted areas, and come straight home after sunset."

After ticking off the points on her fingers, Rin shot a sharp look at Shirou.

"Most importantly, no going off on your own. Always stay with either me or Saber. If you use a Command Seal, Saber should be able to fight to some extent."

"...Rin, I have a favor to ask."

Saber spoke with a serious look on her face.

"What is it?"

A tense atmosphere began to settle in. Just as Shirou, unable to bear it any longer, was about to step in, Saber spoke up.

"Let me borrow Archer."

"...Archer?"

Rin tilted her head slightly in confusion, and Saber continued.

"After last night’s battle, I feel like I’ve started to understand this body a little. I was able to wield the holy sword. If I keep training, I think I can improve—even if just a bit."

"So in other words, you want Archer to train you so you can protect Shirou."

"Exactly. Will you allow it?"

A brief silence followed.

"...Alright. I’ll talk to Archer myself. It’d help us, too, if you can become a reliable fighter."

"Thank you, Rin."

Saber smiled warmly, and Rin gave a wry smile in return.

"We did agree to work together to protect Shirou, after all."

Watching the two smile at each other, Shirou felt a pang of isolation. The hand he’d raised earlier to break up the conversation hung awkwardly in midair.

"...Man, I really feel left out here."

After dinner, Saber started cleaning up the dishes. Since she’d cooked, she insisted on taking full responsibility, and Shirou eventually gave in, munching on a mandarin orange.

As for Rin, she’d taken the liberty of heating the bath and was now soaking in it. A girl their age, bathing under the same roof—it was hard not to imagine the scene, and Shirou quickly shook his head in a panic.

"W-What’s wrong?"

Saber caught him in the act, her face a mixture of shock and disgust, leaving Shirou scrambling to explain himself as the night wore on.

Eventually, they each returned to their rooms, turning their thoughts toward what lay ahead.

Rin was communicating with Archer via thought transmission.

『About Saber—what do you think?』

『I don’t know. From her sword swings, she’s clearly an amateur. But… it’s also possible she’s hiding her true skill.』

『But everything about her—the way she talks, the way she cooks… It doesn’t feel like an act.』

『…I agree. But we mustn’t let our guard down. Even if she isn’t lying, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s telling the whole truth.』

『You’re saying something—or someone—might be influencing Saber?』

『It’s only a possibility, but… right after she was summoned, there may have been some interference with her mind.』

『So in the end, we just have to keep monitoring her.』

『Wouldn’t it be simpler to eliminate her? It would remove a future risk.』

『Rejected. We’ve formed an alliance—I have no intention of breaking it unilaterally. Don’t make me repeat myself.』

『…Understood.』

『For now, I want you to start training with Saber tomorrow.』

『…You’re serious?』

『I am. It’s not just about making her stronger. There are things you can learn through crossing swords, right?』

『…I’m no samurai, you know.』

『Doesn’t matter. Just do it.』

『…Understood. I’ll probe her as we train.』

『And I’m telling you now—don’t use the training as an excuse to kill her.』

『……………………Very well. I won’t.』

『…I’m trusting that pause was just a joke.』

After ending the telepathic exchange, Rin lay back on her bed and sighed.

Emotionally, she wanted to trust Saber. But the situation surrounding him made it too risky to decide lightly.

"...Seriously, what a pain."

Staring up at the ceiling, Rin murmured quietly to herself.

Around the same time, Saber let out a sigh as well.

He was struggling with how to use his knowledge of the original story. All the information about enemy Masters and Servants was carved into his mind. Yet, he couldn’t speak of it openly.

He knew this world as a game, as an anime. If he said that out loud, Rin’s suspicions would become certainty. Even if he could somehow prove it, the result would be the same.

There was also the matter of Matou Sakura. In this world, she was essentially a massive landmine. If she awakened, what followed would be a string of death flags far worse than any other route. Saber wasn’t confident he could protect Shirou under those conditions.

And he still had no idea how to deal with their most powerful enemy—the King of Heroes, Gilgamesh. At the very least, with his current power, he wouldn’t stand a chance.

『...If I offered myself up, would they spare Shirou and the others?』

The moment he thought it, he knew it was hopeless. Saber sighed in defeat.

Gilgamesh would see through the truth in an instant. If that happened, and Saber made even one wrong move, it could provoke the king’s wrath.

『Should I entrust everything to Archer…?』

No—that wouldn’t be wise either. Even if he was supposed to be Gilgamesh’s natural enemy, that only applied in theory. If Gilgamesh went all out, Archer likely wouldn’t stand a chance.

『Worst case, if we end up fighting him, maybe I should just go out in a blaze of glory... He probably won’t appear until the final act anyway…』

Saber spent a sleepless night, weighed down by worries of what lay ahead.

Shirou, too, lay awake in the dark. But it wasn’t because a girl was sleeping nearby.

――――『How can I help Saber…?』

He’d been thinking about it since midday, but no answer had come to him.

Whatever his reasons, Saber was trying to protect him. And if that was the case, Shirou wanted to return the favor—he wanted to be someone Saber could rely on.

But he didn’t know how. He didn’t know how to send Saber back to their original world. He didn’t know how to help them live in this one as themself, either.

"But still… the idea that the only choice is for them to disappear…"

He clenched his fists tightly, biting his lip.

"I can’t accept that…"