Chapter 11: Elf-san Outdoors

"Anyone here confident about elves?"

Top Chat: And that’s the very first thing she says.
Top Chat: Calling someone out right from the start lol
Top Chat: Does she think streaming is the same as making a phone call or something?

"You guys don’t actually know anything about elves."

Top Chat: Nope.
Top Chat: We don’t.
Top Chat: Our idea of elves comes from myths and folklore, which turned into novels, which turned into TRPGs overseas, which then became early computer RPGs, which then became Japanese RPGs, which then spun off into all kinds of fantasy works—that’s the elves we know.
Top Chat: Damn, that’s long!
Top Chat: It’s a giant game of telephone. No wonder nobody knows the original anymore.
Top Chat: By the way, where even are you?

"Somewhere with no people around."

The place was a nearby riverbank. A long, paved walkway had been maintained, perfect for jogging. It was a holiday morning, and she hadn’t passed a single person on her way here, so she set up her camera on a tripod, hooked it up to her laptop, and started the stream without worrying about being seen.

Top Chat: Taking me somewhere with no one else around—what are you planning to do to me!?
Top Chat: Suddenly, my chastity is in danger!
Top Chat: Sorry guys, I’m gonna go become a man real quick.
Top Chat: For real though, there’s not a soul around.
Top Chat: …Uh, Elf-san, what’s with that outfit?

"It’s the same as yesterday."

Same shirt and shorts she wore during last night’s stream. They were so loose the shorts kept slipping down, so she tied them up along with the shirt using a belt, but aside from that, no real difference.

Top Chat: Everything’s… really emphasized.
Top Chat: Huge.
Top Chat: Nah, that waist is way too slim.
Top Chat: Didn’t notice yesterday since she was sitting, but she was wearing that the whole time?
Top Chat: Still, going outside dressed like that is nuts lol
Top Chat: So what are you doing today?

"Doing magic experiments."

Top Chat: For real?
Top Chat: You can actually do that?
Top Chat: Not just a gag?

"If I’m an elf, I should be able to use magic, right?"

Top Chat: Well, yeah, but…
Top Chat: Non-human streamers aren’t unusual, but no one’s ever actually proved it.
Top Chat: So what kind of magic can you use?

"I have no idea."

Top Chat: Oi lol
Top Chat: We saw this exact bit yesterday too lol

"How would a regular person know how an elf uses magic?"

Top Chat: Fair.
Top Chat: Now that you mention it.
Top Chat: Yeah, I don’t know either—and I’m supposed to be a wizard.
Top Chat: Same.
Top Chat: Same here…
Top Chat: …Damn, we’re all the same (I have a girlfriend though).
Top Chat: Join us in our suffering!
Top Chat: (I have a girlfrieeend) and yet I still feel cursed through the monitor.
Top Chat: Gaaahhh!

"That’s why I thought I’d ask someone who actually knows about elves to teach me how to use magic."

Top Chat: Ahh, so that’s why you wanted to summon ‘Elf Expert Guy.’
Top Chat: Summoned by the Elf Princess herself.
Top Chat: Sounds like the start of an isekai story.
Top Chat: Being summoned by an elf princess (body) through an online stream—that’s new lol
Top Chat: Elf-san just keeps collecting concepts she doesn’t understand.

"So if there’s no Elf Expert Guy, what should I do?"

Top Chat: Ooh, I know! Exercise!
Top Chat: Let’s test an elf’s physical abilities!
Top Chat: Jump rope!
Top Chat: Running!
Top Chat: High jump!
Top Chat: Hah, you guys don’t get it.
Top Chat: W-what did you say!?
Top Chat: If you need props, or if the camera has to chase after her, that cuts down on our elf-watching time!
Top Chat: T-that’s… true…
Top Chat: Ugh, damn it, you’re right…
Top Chat: Then what’s your suggestion!?
Top Chat: Obviously, side-to-side agility steps!
Top Chat: !
Top Chat: Y-you… are a genius?
Top Chat: No props needed, no need to move the camera, and there are even official records to compare against… p-perfect!

"Is it me, or is the chat moving faster?"

Top Chat: Just your imagination.
Top Chat: Just your imagination.
Top Chat: Just your imagination.
Top Chat: Just your imagination.
Top Chat: Definitely just your imagination.

"I see. Then let’s go with side-to-side steps—"

"Eeeeeeeelffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"

"Hm?"

Top Chat: Cute.

A bicycle went flying. No—that’s not right. The bike shot over the embankment at insane speed, sailing through the air. It landed hard on the riverside road, skidding sideways in a drift before screeching to a stop right in front of me.

"Put some clothes on, damn youuuuuu!"

The person who shouted that as they jumped off the bike was—wearing a cheap rider mask like the kind you buy at summer festivals.

"Masked Rider."

Top Chat: Pfft.
Top Chat: That actually sounds weirdly good lol
Top Chat: Elf-san just added another concept to the list of things she doesn’t know.