Chapter 130: How to Use an Eye Mask
"Why is there an elf in the office!?"
The girl who had just taken off her eye mask shouted at me.
Top Chat: Well, that’s a reasonable question
Top Chat: Surprisingly calm
Top Chat: Are you sober? Drink some more!
"I came here to sign a contract."
"Huh? …You, are you joining 2.5D?"
"Nope. I just had them mediate a project contract."
Top Chat: Sorry, can we hear that "nope" one more time!
Top Chat: Yes = "n"
Top Chat: No = "nn"
Top Chat: Our understanding of Elvish is improving!
Top Chat: It’s not Elvish, it’s Elf-san-ish
Top Chat: Anyway, can you raise the camera a bit?
"Is it okay to raise the camera?"
"Wait a bit. …I don’t recall saying I’d appear on the stream, though."
Top Chat: Oof, she said what she really thinks lol
Top Chat: The drunk little girl’s getting swept along by the flow
"It’s fine now."
"Mm."
"Once again, I’m the 2.5D drunk little child, Shutenyōji. It’s written as 『おさなご』(Osanago) but pronounced 『ようじ』(Youji)."
She wore her hair cut to shoulder length, a strawberry-patterned shirt, and jersey pants. A mask covered her mouth, and above her head sat a large ribbon making a bold statement.
Top Chat: The drunk little girl is actually tiny
Top Chat: Good, good
Top Chat: Reality matches expectations
"I’ve said it on my streams too. I’m short in real life as well."
Her height didn’t quite reach 150 centimeters.
Top Chat: Well yeah, being short is kind of a core part of her character
Top Chat: Exactly
"Core part of my character?"
"I was born early in the year, see. I’ve been tiny since I was little. Always at the front of the height line, and during PE, I’d lose even against the ball, let alone my classmates."
"Hm."
"That’s how I came to hate sports entirely. I even skipped school because of PE. Basically, I was a delinquent."
Top Chat: …Is that really being a delinquent?
Top Chat: Probably not
Top Chat: That’s just self-deprecation
"So, even when I skipped, I didn’t have many games at home to kill time with. I just kept replaying the same few old games over and over. Hours and hours, until eventually—I became the fastest player in the world."
Top Chat: The wind blows → sand rises → sand gets in people’s eyes → more people go blind → more become shamisen players → fewer cats because shamisen skins → mice increase → mice chew through wooden barrels → and thus, the drunk little girl is born
Top Chat: Barrel maker: "Wait, what?"
Top Chat: Ohh, so that’s the origin story
Top Chat: Makes sense, that’s definitely core lore
Top Chat: I thought she started RTAing for a sillier reason
"Fastest in the world?"
"That’s right. Before you stands the world’s fastest player."
"Want to compete?"
"Nope."
Top Chat: Rejected lol
Top Chat: —The fastest in the world… and you’re just gonna let that challenge slide?
Top Chat: Instant rejection
Top Chat: You gotta make her want to compete first
"Fastest in the world."
"Yup. I’m the fastest woman alive."
"That’s amazing."
"I know, right? I know, I know."
"Want to compete?"
"Nope."
Top Chat: The elf has learned to attack indirectly
Top Chat: Has she though?
Top Chat: She’s just learned to take two or three steps back before charging
Top Chat: Gagarin took one step, but Elf-san takes two or three
Top Chat: That means Elf-san is more than twice as fast…?
Top Chat: Then you HAVE to challenge her!
"—Or so they say."
"Why are you turning Gagarin into someone who charges recklessly!?"
Top Chat: She’s not biting
Top Chat: Surprisingly calm
Top Chat: Are you sober? Drink more!
"Do you even know what game I play?"
"Nope."
"『Skyhigh』. It’s an action game. Ever played it?"
"Nope."
"Then there’s no way you could just pick it up and beat me out of nowhere."
"Really?"
Top Chat: Sorry Elf-san, but you’d get destroyed
Top Chat: Wouldn’t be surprising if she doubles your score
Top Chat: Seriously? This is Elf-san we’re talking about!
Top Chat: Yesterday’s 『Ochirite』 had a big player base, but 『Skyhigh』 has thirty-plus years of history on top of that
Top Chat: Meaning every trick, glitch, and exploit’s been wrung dry
"RTA is all about knowledge and shaving off seconds through endless repetition. It’s not a world where a beginner can just walk in and compete."
"That’s incredible."
"I know, right? I know, I know."
"So… how do you use the eye mask?"
Top Chat: Pretty sure that was just a challenge run thing lol
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