Chapter 133: EAS (Elf Assisted Speedrun)
As of the posting date, the fastest record for Super Mario Bros., said to have over 1,000 RTA runners worldwide, is as follows:
RTA: 4 minutes 54.798 seconds
TAS: 4 minutes 54.265 seconds
The top runners seem to be switching to routes that stack over 20 additional one-frame tricks (the smallest possible unit of time in the game). As a result, every stage can now be matched with TAS times individually. In other words, the only remaining question is whether someone can reproduce the run in full. Humans really are incredible.
"Uwahahaha! Truly, I will not die! I can do this!"
The blindfolded, drunk little girl successfully relaunches from the small platform. With no more tricky spots ahead, she’ll probably reach the goal.
Top Chat: Whoa, so it really is reproducible
Top Chat: The elf is amazing de gozaru
Top Chat: She’s overjoyed lol
Top Chat: The little girl was struggling with this stage’s routing for so long
Top Chat: Everything else she managed, but only this one held her up for weeks
Top Chat: And since the TAS and RTA routes warp mid-stage, that’s why she couldn’t use them
"What’s TAS?"
"Hmm? Another chat question? Simply put, it’s playing with tools to achieve the theoretical limits."
Top Chat: Short for Tool-Assisted Speedrun
Top Chat: Things like slowing the game clock to a crawl so you play with godlike reflexes
Top Chat: Or using endless save-loads to pull off outcomes with astronomically low odds
Top Chat: Or forcing despawns by overloading the screen with sprites
Top Chat: Even booting the game from only the most favorable save data
Top Chat: It’s basically stitching together all those optimizations into the absolute fastest possible run
Top Chat: But since TAS and RTA routes warp mid-stage, the little girl couldn’t adopt them here
"Is it useful, though?"
"Quite often, aye. TAS, RTA, even challenge runs—routing makes up half the game. They’re all refined through trial and error, shaving off every wasteful action."
Top Chat: Even if the direction differs, the professionals are the same!
Top Chat: What about the drunk-brain challenge run?
Top Chat: She builds routes that work even with judgment and reflexes totally shot…
Top Chat: Though she forgets half of them once the booze hits
Top Chat: That’s no good lol
Top Chat: But that’s the kind of game where even stupid restrictions get runners
Top Chat: It is counted among the great action titles of the fourth generation, after all
"Pwah. Wearing a mask and an eyemask together gets rather hot."
"Want a drink?"
"I’m not drinking Misora Juice! Throw it away!"
The drunk little girl hurled her eyemask at the elf.
Top Chat: Even the drunk little girl is calling it Misora Juice lol
Top Chat: After this, staff began mass-producing it
Top Chat: Don’t mass-produce it!
Top Chat: That staff member is definitely Reverse God-sama’s little brother!
"Elf, you’ve saved me."
"Mhm."
"Honestly, I thought you’d try some acrobatics instead."
"Nnu."
Top Chat: lol
Top Chat: The level of trust in Elf-san
Top Chat: Also, can we talk about that “nnu”
Top Chat: A new shock for Elf Linguistics Society
"Where are you tackling next?"
"Actually, I need to start recording my blindfolded playthrough soon, so I’d really like you to leave."
"Want to join the Iron Cardboard project?"
"Eh? What did you say? Iron cardboard? A project?"
"You’re not doing RTA?"
"Wait! Wait a minute! Don’t abandon a topic I haven’t answered yet!"
"So, where are you tackling next?"
"That was my way of saying ‘go home’!"
Top Chat: Elf using the trick of canceling responses by spamming questions
Top Chat: Did the cancel work?
"You don’t have to bother with me…"
"I’ve got an hour to kill before the Iron Cardboard guy comes back."
"Go bother the president or Segai-san."
"I’m gathering replies for the project right now."
"So what is it, a 2.5D collab between Elf and a box?"
"Want to join?"
"I don’t want to waste my energy on a project that’ll exhaust me with comebacks."
"I’ll work hard to throw in comebacks too."
"The one being roasted will be you!"
Top Chat: A kind elf, trying to distribute the workload
Top Chat: lmao
Top Chat: Looks like the drunk little girl has taken a liking to Elf-san
"I like anyone who’s challenging themselves. Makes me want to cheer them on."
Top Chat: Brb, gonna attempt a food challenge!
Top Chat: I’m in the middle of a diet challenge!
Top Chat: These challenges sound like they’re looping
"Good luck."
"Is it really okay to just let them…?"
"The drunk little girl will cheer too."
"Hmph."
The drunk little girl let her gaze drift for a moment, then said,
"…If you stay quiet, you may remain."
"Mhm."
Top Chat: She dere’d!
Top Chat: Permission to stay granted!
Top Chat: The drunk little girl collab is officially starting!
"Hey, you guys, teach me your cheer song."
"Be quiet already!"
Top Chat: nnu
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