Chapter 135: Elf-san, Goes “Eii☆”
"I’ll be running the stage-skip all-castles RTA. Not Any%."
"Any percent?"
"Put simply, it means anything goes. For Sky High, without restrictions, the fastest time is under two minutes."
Top Chat: Two minutes!?
Top Chat: How’s that even done?
Top Chat: It uses Arbitrary Code Execution to call the ending.
"Arbitrary Code Execution? What’s that?"
"It means forcing the program to execute instructions of the player’s choosing. In this case, it refers to running the ‘start ending’ command."
Top Chat: Can you really do that?
Top Chat: Normally no, but if you create a bug block with the switch glitch and place it at specific coordinates, you can
Top Chat: And the coordinates of the bug block correspond to the code number executed… right?
"Correct. The fine mechanics I don’t fully know either, though."
"So, you don’t use this switch glitch thing then?"
"…I use it."
Top Chat: Why the face though?
Top Chat: Is she a Watanabe family member?
Top Chat: Ahh, there’s actually a stage that uses the switch glitch for something other than ACE, and the little girl struggles with it.
"I’m not struggling with it!"
Top Chat: Grumpy little girl is cute
Top Chat: The little girl is healing energy
Top Chat: A pouty, innocent little face cures all illnesses
Top Chat: …But she’s over twenty
Top Chat: Guh… gaaaahhh…!
Top Chat: Don’t throw harsh truths so lightly
"Enough! Not just Elf, you lot are noisy too! I’ll explain the details while playing, so let’s start already!"
"Let’s gooo!"
Top Chat: Don don paf paf (cheering sounds)
Top Chat: Let’s do this!
"First, I’ll explain a move we’ll use often. Watch carefully."
"Mhm."
"—Hop!"
Right out of the gate, the drunk little girl jumped toward three floating blocks—
"Missed."
Top Chat: Missed again
Top Chat: Missed all of them
"Heh heh heh, that’s the trick working. Elf, know why?"
"Because the drunk little girl is bluffing?"
"No."
"Because she’s stubborn?"
"Nooo! That’s not it!"
"Don’t run away from the truth?"
"Why am I suddenly the naughty child here!?"
Top Chat: lol
Top Chat: Elf-san lecturing the little girl
Top Chat: Definitely bugged behavior
"Look closely at the exact moment of impact with the block."
"You mean when the right bottom corner pushes the character forward?"
"Wait—you can see it!?"
Top Chat: She’s yelling but still executing perfectly, as expected of the little girl
Top Chat: How much time does this actually save?
Top Chat: About 0.016 seconds
Top Chat: That’s negligible?
Top Chat: But since failing doesn’t cause a time loss, you might as well attempt it
"It’s such a tiny difference that some runners don’t bother."
"Really?"
"Repeated play like this takes a toll on your eyes, you see."
"I see."
Top Chat: Eye strain is tough on the little girl
Top Chat: Ggaahhh… gaaahhh…!
Top Chat: Just accept the truth already
Top Chat: But Kiri-tan insists there’s no ‘person inside’ her
Top Chat: Even within 2.5D, consistency is all over the place
"It’s just a matter of stance. I don’t want to strain myself too much."
"Drunk little girl."
"Hm? What is it, Elf?"
"Do your eyes get tired?"
"They do. Though I can still keep going today."
"If you pull this off, treat me to gyudon later."
"Huh?"
"Eii."
Top Chat: Hm?
Top Chat: Did something happen?
Top Chat: Elf-san just put her hand on the drunk little girl’s head and went ‘Eii.’
Top Chat: ???
"Well?"
"…Wait. Wait wait wait."
Top Chat: Little girl?
Top Chat: What’s wrong?
"…My eye fatigue… it’s completely gone?"
"I see."
Top Chat: Eh
Top Chat: Huh
Top Chat: Huh??
Top Chat: Wait
Top Chat: No way
Top Chat: That’s… Qigongーーーーーーー!!
Top Chat: Don’t say something that actually sounds plausible!
Top Chat: lmao
"What is this supposed to beee!?"
"Next stage’s starting."
"Ugh… Watanabe clan, make sure you get the truth out of Elf!"
Top Chat: Let’s just try asking directly
Top Chat: Elf-san, what did you do?
"Eii."
Top Chat: Magic?
"I just went ‘Eii.’"
Top Chat: No good, I don’t get it!
Top Chat: Call in the Elf Expert!
Top Chat: There isn’t one!
Top Chat: In The Saga of Cormac, there’s actually a scene where it says the best way to heal wounds is to offer the elf the flesh of a bull and serve them a feast.
Top Chat: Elf Expert!
Top Chat: Do your job!
Top Chat: …Though if there actually was one, that’d be weird lol
"Heh."
Top Chat: As always, Elf-san’s reaction was completely detached.
Top Chat: Wait, so does the sacrificed bull and the feast just mean beef bowls?
Top Chat: And on top of that, paid afterward.
Top Chat: Must be a matter of stance.
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