Chapter 5: Dinner Live

"Hey, what do elves even eat?"

Top Chat: First words, lol
Top Chat: Huh?
Top Chat: This is an elf’s stream, right?
Top Chat: Why don’t you even know about yourself…?
Top Chat: Look, now the newbies are confused lol

It was currently 5:40 p.m. Almost an hour had passed since my first stream, and I had started the second one.

"I became an elf with zero prior knowledge, so I don’t really know what kind of creature an elf is."

Top Chat: Ahh
Top Chat: Oh yeah, that was the setting, huh
Top Chat: Then how have you been living until now?
Top Chat: He just suddenly turned into an elf this afternoon
Top Chat: ???

"I was asked by an elf princess to lend her my body, and we switched."

Top Chat: Makes sense—wait, no it doesn’t
Top Chat: Even after hearing the explanation, most of it’s still a mystery
Top Chat: ※This shamelessly oversized shirt is his own
Top Chat: So what were you even talking about in the previous stream?

"I said good eyesight and a bow are nice."

Top Chat: Bow?
Top Chat: Bow’s good?

"Mm, kinda hard to explain."

Top Chat: Can you even call that an explanation lol
Top Chat: Elf-san, why don’t you enable archives?

"Archive? What’s that?"

Top Chat: It’s a way to make your stream video logs available.
Top Chat: Way easier than explaining every time.
Top Chat: Without an archive we can’t even make clips, so please set it up.

"Wow, that’s a handy feature."

Top Chat: You really did start streaming without knowing a thing, huh
Top Chat: And yet your model’s so detailed
Top Chat: Your ears and hair even move
Top Chat: Hair?
Top Chat: I get ears, but hair?
Top Chat: Watch the archive
Top Chat: He doesn’t have one!
Top Chat: Damn, I missed it! Did Elf-san say something weird again?

"What do you mean again? I haven’t said anything weird at all."

Top Chat: Eh?
Top Chat: Excuse me?
Top Chat: The complete lack of self-awareness, lol
Top Chat: What do you even have to eat to come out with lines like that?

"I told you, I haven’t eaten yet. I’m hungry, but I don’t know what elves can eat, so tell me."

Top Chat: And we’re back to the beginning, full circle
Top Chat: So that’s why you started this bizarre stream, asking “I TS’d into an elf princess, so what should I eat for dinner?”
Top Chat: Generally, elves give off a herbivore vibe
Top Chat: If you ate meat, you’d probably puke
Top Chat: Might even collapse from shock
Top Chat: Now that you mention it, that is kind of scary…
Top Chat: Elf lore experts, verdict please
Top Chat: In various myths and traditions, elves don’t have special dietary restrictions. In Norse mythology, there’s even an elf who participated in the gods’ banquet and milled flour to provide food for people.
Top Chat: As expected of you

"Oh, so I can eat. Glad the food I made won’t go to waste."

Relieved, I went to grab my dinner.

Top Chat: Oh, here comes the dinner stream?
Top Chat: Starting to get excited here
Top Chat: So we get to look all the way inside Elf-san’s mouth?
Top Chat: That’s not quite out, but it’s definitely not safe either

With a thud, I set my dinner down in front of the camera and took my seat.

"Let’s eat."

Top Chat: Wait
Top Chat: Hold it
Top Chat: Maybe let’s not
Top Chat: That’s not right
Top Chat: Ramen straight out of the pot, lol
Top Chat: Too manly lol

"I am a man. Dinner for a guy living alone is about like this, isn’t it?"

Top Chat: Fair enough
Top Chat: I do it once a week myself
Top Chat: Eating straight from the pot feels a little naughty, gets me hyped
Top Chat: Same lol
Top Chat: Guys, rejoice… this is an elf girl’s dinner stream…
Top Chat: I’m crying

"Amu."

slurp slurp sluuurp

Top Chat: He’s making such great slurping noises lol
Top Chat: There are plenty of shows with pretty reporters eating ramen, but none go at it this wildly lol
Top Chat: It’s not quite the same as a female comedian throwing femininity away, but there’s a certain charm here
Top Chat: Hearing that a Western-looking girl with elf ears is slurping ramen like a pro is getting me kinda excited
Top Chat: Your strike zone isn’t way too narrow?
Top Chat: If she insulted me right after that, it’d be perfect
Top Chat: No seriously, your strike zone’s really narrow

"Hey, when it comes to curry, are you guys team fukujinzuke, team rakkyo, or just plain?"

Top Chat: This elf just dropped the most Japanese topic ever lol
Top Chat: Spicy curry with fukujinzuke for me
Top Chat: Plain
Top Chat: Fukujinzuke here too, but I’d love to show this to some foreigner whining about not fitting into Japanese culture lol
Top Chat: Not enough rakkyo comrades
Top Chat: I go plain, but what about the ramen review?

"Tasty."

Top Chat: That’s not it
Top Chat: Give us a bit more of a food report
Top Chat: So your sense of taste didn’t change after turning into an elf?

"My taste doesn’t feel that different, but food does taste better. Like if it was 80 before, now it’s about 90."

Top Chat: What unit is that lol
Top Chat: That’s within margin of error
Top Chat: Difference between humans and elves is tiny
Top Chat: Or maybe it’s just gender difference?

"But I kinda like mushrooms now. The shiitake I put in really gives it a nice flavor."

Top Chat: Elf lore expert?
Top Chat: In Wales, there are records saying elves ate mushrooms called Toadstools and others called Fairy Butter.

"I’ll also finish what I made at lunch."

Top Chat: More food?
Top Chat: You don’t usually see streamers just boldly walking out of camera like this
Top Chat: Truly free-spirited lol

"I’m back."

Top Chat: Welcome back
Top Chat: What’d you bring?

"Miso soup."

Top Chat: Oi lol
Top Chat: Ramen and miso soup don’t go together!
Top Chat: This elf is crazy lol

"If I leave it until tomorrow, it’ll spoil, you know?"

Top Chat: Well, it is summer, sure, but still lol
Top Chat: First time I’ve ever felt the need to heckle someone this much over a stream about eating normal food lol
Top Chat: Freedom Elf
Top Chat: Put it in the fridge lol

"Did more people show up?"

Top Chat: About double from last time
Top Chat: Just passed 130 people
Top Chat: Surprising how many gather even for an impromptu stream

"Isn’t that what streaming’s supposed to be like?"

Top Chat: Normally you give a heads-up on social media or something
Top Chat: Even if it’s sudden, at least a "Going live now" message
Top Chat: Otherwise people can’t keep up
Top Chat: If you’re going to keep streaming, using social media would really help us

"Alright, I’ll go make an account. Later."

Top Chat: Wait wait wait
Top Chat: Don’t cut!
Top Chat: Don’t end it!
Top Chat: At least give us the account nameee!
Top Chat: We literally just said we can’t follow you otherwise!

"Good point. Hold on a bit."

Top Chat: This tension though
Top Chat: I’ve typed "wait" into chat plenty of times during live streams, but never this desperately lol
Top Chat: This elf is definitely not pretending
Top Chat: If we hadn’t stopped her, she absolutely would’ve cut the stream
Top Chat: She’s reckless to a dangerous degree
Top Chat: …But it’s kind of addictive, isn’t it?
Top Chat: It is
Top Chat: It really is
Top Chat: You can’t not get hooked

"Got it. As usual, the name’s Elf Princess."

Top Chat: First follower, woo!
Top Chat: Dang it, I was too slow!
Top Chat: Add a little description too, for the newcomers who missed this stream

"Looks official enough now."

Top Chat: Icon’s still the default though
Top Chat: And the header’s untouched
Top Chat: That can wait until later

"Hm?"

Top Chat: What’s wrong?

"I got some kind of notification… a direct message?"

Top Chat: Did you leave DMs open?
Top Chat: Probably from a viewer?
Top Chat: If it’s spam, make sure to report it!

"Uh… it says, ‘So you think you’re hot stuff just because you landed a few arrows? I’ll show you there’s always someone better! I’ll blast a headshot right through you, so let’s settle this in 《Gunfield》! From the strongest bow user, Kirishi-tan.’ …What is this?"

Top Chat: A challenge just came in!
Top Chat: That was fast, it’s literally from today lol
Top Chat: That’s the bow specialist from 《Gunfield》 who got mentioned last time
Top Chat: Wait, is that the real one? Not some faker?
Top Chat: Rude! Of course it’s me, the real deal!
Top Chat: Lol she’s here!
Top Chat: Also, don’t read it out loud!

"Was I not supposed to?"

Top Chat: Why do you think she sent it in a direct message?! Even if it’s a collab request, there’s supposed to be some planning first!

"Planning first?"

She thought for a moment, then remembered the chat conversation from when that girl’s name had first come up.

"Ah, so maybe it’s just someone else playing on her behalf?"

Top Chat: Ah
Top Chat: Wait
Top Chat: Hold up
Top Chat: I’m a hardcore player, okay！！！！！！！！！！！！！！ There’s no substitute player here！！！！！！！！！ Don’t you dare insult me！！！！！！！！！！！

Top Chat: She actually got mad lol
Top Chat: Can’t blame her
Top Chat: Kirishi-tan is the real deal, the kind who competes in archery tournaments
Top Chat: That casual trash talk was savage lol

"I see. Then when do we play?"

Top Chat: Right now! Let’s fight right this second! If you were one of my little lambs, you’d know I don’t have a stream scheduled today! It’s not a stand-in—it’s me myself who’s going to crush you!
Top Chat: Little lambs?
Top Chat: That’s what Kirishi-tan calls her viewers

"Alright, let’s do it, let’s do it. We’ll shoot plenty."

Top Chat: Kirishi-tan, run
Top Chat: Run for your life
Top Chat: Why… why did she ever think of challenging her
Top Chat: I’ll announce my impromptu stream and get ready, so come at me!

"This’ll be fun, this’ll be fun."

Top Chat: Smiley Elf
Top Chat: She looks absolutely thrilled

"It’s been ten years since someone challenged me to a game."

Top Chat: Uh oh, the darkness slipped out
Top Chat: Strict mom vibes…
Top Chat: Please look forward to Kirishi-tan getting turned into a pincushion by an overhyped elf
Top Chat: Offering prayers for Kirishi-tan who is about to be sent to heaven… ramen
Top Chat: And miso soup
Top Chat: …That’s just Elf’s dinner