Chapter 10: Everyday Life and Signs of Change

It had been about a week since Kanata saved me from those guys trying to hit on me.

My relationship with him hadn’t really changed—no particular deepening, no progress. …Well, what would “progress” even mean, anyway?

He’d always been my best friend. The only difference now was that he’d become a “reliable best friend.” …No, that’s wrong. He’d always been more than reliable.

He moved into a bigger place just for me, bought me clothes and personal items, and constantly made sure I was comfortable. …Wait. Looking back on it all, isn’t that kind of… a debt I can never really repay?

W-well, adding to all that, lately there’s something else… His strength, his reliability—it makes me more conscious of him as a man. That side of him has become more prominent.

Kanata really is manly. It’s something I could never reach now, no matter how hard I tried. I envy it, and yet… it reassures me.

Of course, it’s not like I just laze around at Kanata’s place doing nothing. I am job-hunting.

But looking for a full-time position? That’s ridiculously tough. And on top of that, I’m a 16-year-old girl with TS syndrome. Not exactly easy to hire. I mean, I’m sixteen, but already a university graduate.

No wonder it’s going nowhere. Every application just comes back with a rejection.

Not a fresh graduate, not really a proper hire, and on top of that, a 30-year-old man turned into a 16-year-old girl? Yeah, no one knows what to do with me.

I even thought maybe I should try part-time work, but when I looked into it, the hourly pay was too low because of my age. Add in the time restrictions, and if I wanted to eventually live on my own, it’d be a struggle.

So even if I do start working part-time, I’ll be relying on Kanata for a while yet.

And I already owe him way more than I can handle… The last thing I want is to keep piling it on.

Sure, Kanata would just say, “Don’t worry about it.” But how could I not worry?

While I was mulling all this over on the living room sofa, Kanata’s voice called out to me.

"Hey, dinner’s ready. Come help out."

Kanata always ropes me into helping whenever he can. I think it’s his way of being considerate—keeping me involved so it doesn’t feel like I’m just accumulating debts.

…Not that these little chores are enough to balance everything, though.

"Hey, I said help out. Didn’t you hear me?"

"Ah, sorry, sorry. I’ll help!"

I set out the rice and dishes on the dining table, poured barley tea into the cups, and placed them.

"So, what’s for dinner?"

"Tonight it’s pork ginger stir-fry. Easy to make, tasty, and loaded with vitamin B—good for summer fatigue."

"Summer’s already over. It’s almost November. Besides, your idea of ‘easy’ can’t be trusted. Remember when you said something was easy the other day? It was a nightmare."

"Really? Well, once you get used to it, it is easy. You’ve still got a lot to learn, Nobu."

It smelled amazing—well, it always did. This was the highlight of my day. Honestly, Kanata was a lifesaver.

"Itadakimasu."
"Itadakima~su."

I dug in, eating bite after bite, while Kanata watched me between his own mouthfuls.

Apparently, seeing me eat with such enjoyment made him both happy and entertained. I couldn’t really blame him. When he’d eaten the food I made and praised it, I’d been so happy I nearly floated.

With my smaller body, my stomach and mouth had shrunk too. I couldn’t shovel in food like before. Smaller bites, more chewing—now I got full more quickly without eating as much.

"Mmm! Kanata, your cooking’s always delicious!"

"Of course. If it wasn’t good, I’d be the one in trouble."

"Why would you be in trouble?"

"Why? Because I want you to enjoy your meals, obviously."

"…Well, fair enough. Eating bad food all the time would be torture."

Man… Kanata can cook, he can handle housework. If I weren’t a girl right now, I’d want him as my wife.

If I’d stayed a man and Kanata had become a woman, I would never have let her slip away.

But instead, it’s me—who can barely do laundry, much less anything else—who turned into a girl.

…So what does Kanata really think of me like this?

He’s made a few suggestive comments, so I know he sees me as a girl to some extent. When I dressed up, he called me beautiful, cute—seriously, too. He definitely doesn’t think badly of me.

And come to think of it, that was when he confessed. …Said it was a joke, payback for teasing.

Was it really just a joke?

Even if it wasn’t, even if it was real, I couldn’t accept it. Not now, not as I am. …Maybe a little? …No, definitely not. And anyway, he’s got that trauma, that distrust of women. That’s why he could play it off as a joke.

Haa… Honestly, wouldn’t things have worked out cleaner if he had been the one to turn into a woman instead of me?

After dinner, we settled onto the living room sofa together, relaxing.

"So, Nobu. Any luck finding a job?"

"Nah, tough going. Sixteen-year-old with a college degree? Or a thirty-year-old ex-man? Either way, nothing but red flags."

"Yeah, I figured. Well, no rush. Take your time. If you want… you could just stay here forever. Or hey—be my, uh, wife!"

"Cut it out with that. You’re forcing yourself to say it with your distrust of women, you can’t even get it out without stammering. …But thanks, really. I know you’re just trying to cheer me up. Still, I can’t do that. I can’t keep being a burden forever. I’ve got to move out sooner or later."

"I’ve never—! …Sorry, didn’t mean to shout. I’ve never once thought of you as a burden, Nobu."

The sudden volume made me flinch.

Kanata’s kind, so I knew he was saying it to ease my worries. But with his distrust of women, it must’ve taken effort for him to push that out.

And still, there’s no way I wasn’t a burden. Because of me, he had to move, spend money on clothes and furniture—tens of thousands of yen, maybe close to a million.

And it wasn’t just money. He supported me emotionally too. Just by being there, he kept me from sinking into loneliness. He listened when I needed to talk. Having someone to spend time with… it cut down so much of my mental weight.

"…Thanks. For everything."

"Whoa, what’s with the sudden gratitude? Creepy."

"That’s harsh. …But yeah, that’s more like you."

"Am I getting a bad reputation here?"

"Think about the way you usually act. …Kidding. Really though, I am grateful."

"And I’m grateful to you too, Nobu."

"Huh? For what? What could I possibly have done?"

"Tons of things. Like making dinner."

"That’s just my turn in the rotation."

"Doing the laundry."

"Also my turn."

"Not minding when men’s and women’s clothes get mixed."

"Separating them would just be sad."

"Waking me up when it’s your turn in the morning."

"You’re hopeless with mornings."

"Helping out without complaining."

"Well, you help me too."

"…And just by being here, I don’t get lonely."

"That’s only because I barged in. I asked for this."

"Seriously, Nobu, you should just accept it already. …Oh, and there’s a big one: being my best friend."

"I feel the same. Not just about this mess—we’ve always been that way. I’ve always been glad you’re my best friend."

"And I, from the bottom of my heart, feel the same."

"I want to argue I feel it more… but that’d get weird, so let’s leave it at this. We both value each other as best friends."

"…Yeah!"

We sat on the two-seater sofa, leaning against opposite armrests but facing each other.

Kanata looked into my face and gave me a gentle smile.

My heart skipped. I forced myself to look back at him, returning the smile.

Time felt frozen. …This was the kind of moment lovers would kiss, wasn’t it?

But we were best friends, so of course that wasn’t happening.

Still… what was this atmosphere? Was it just me getting worked up and imagining things?

Either way—I couldn’t handle it!

"A-anyway, I’m gonna go take a bath!"
"…Got it."

Kanata’s face looked a little disappointed, but maybe that was just me imagining it because of the mood.

Yeah. A bath would reset me.

After finishing, I let Kanata know the bath was free.

By the time I’d dried my hair, he was out too. Later, when we were both lying in our beds in the bedroom, he spoke up.

"Hey, there’s a three-day weekend coming up. How about a trip, to refresh you a bit?"

"Refresh? Thanks to you, I’m not even that down, you know."

"That’s good to hear. But still—everyone needs a change of pace. Let’s go."

"…Well, sure. What kind of trip?"

"Hot spring inn. The room has its own open-air bath in the garden. I can get a discount through company benefits."

"Open-air hot spring, huh? …That sounds great. I’m actually looking forward to it."

Two nights, three days at a hot spring inn. It’d been ages since my last trip.

Yeah… maybe that would be the perfect change of pace. A big bath to soak in… that sounded amazing.

Crap, just thinking about it had me so excited I couldn’t even feel sleepy.

I glanced at Kanata—already asleep, his breathing calm and steady.

His sharp, handsome face was softened in slumber, almost cute.

I snapped out of it and shook my head. Cute? What the hell was I thinking, calling a guy cute?

Must’ve been the excitement talking. Yeah. Time to sleep.

…Not that I could, of course. I just tossed and turned for a while.