Chapter 8: Shaken Emotions

We reached our destination, a 100-yen shop, to pick up some useful items and things we were missing.

I thought, “Did I need anything?” but nothing came to mind right away. Still, I wandered around the store, grabbing things that seemed useful or stuff I might be short on.

After that, we headed to a furniture store near the station. The parking lot was packed, and we couldn’t find a spot, so I got out first and headed toward the store on my own.

It was actually good timing. I’d been wanting to take a little distance, to cool down. So I figured I’d use this moment to reset my mind.

Since it looked like it would still take a while for Kanata to park, I drifted away from the bustle of the station front, stood by myself, and started thinking.

Maybe you could call what happened today a fight? …Hmm, no, it wasn’t exactly a fight. If I put it nicely, it was more like some friendly roughhousing between best friends. And from that, I realized a couple of things.

The first was that if I actually tried to be a cute, pretty girl, I could pull it off. Kanata’s words and attitude showed me that. Though, since I was doing it with Kanata in mind, I don’t know how I’d look to other guys—it might not work as well.

The second was the difference in strength between Kanata and me—that is, between an adult man and an underage girl. If a man gets serious, I can’t fight back. That reality hit me hard enough that I ended up taking distance from Kanata. Even now, I’m dragging it around, standing here worrying about it.

I can’t help but wonder—if we keep living together like this, will I end up feeling anxious every single day?

"Heyyy~ You’re all alone? If you’re by yourself, come hang out with us. We know a fun place~"

While I was deep in thought, someone suddenly called out to me.

I looked up to see two grown men standing in front of me, blocking me against the wall.

"We’re heading to a fun spot right now. Wanna come with us? There’ll be other girls too, not just us. You’ll have a great time. How about it?"

What the hell… are they hitting on me? Why would guys like this go after… ah, right. I’m not a guy right now—I’m a cute, pretty girl. Sometimes I still forget that, especially when I’m lost in thought like this.

"Hey, hey, why are you ignoring us? Ah, but since you’re not saying no, that means you’re coming with us, right? Then let’s go."

"Ah, s-sorry! I’m waiting for a friend, so… sorry!"

"Don’t lie. We’ve been watching—you didn’t look like you were waiting for anyone."

Ugh… true. I wasn’t waiting for Kanata, just killing time. Guess they were paying closer attention than I thought.

Still, I had no intention of going with them. These guys were obviously trouble.

"My friend’s coming soon, so I’ll be fine. I’m not going with you."
"Don’t say that—we already decided you’re coming with us. Come on."

One of them suddenly yanked my arm, while the other grabbed my shoulder.

At that instant, the memory of being held down by Kanata came rushing back. My body froze in fear. My arms wouldn’t move, my legs wouldn’t move. My vision tunneled, the edges going dark. Sounds grew muffled, like I was underwater, with only a dull roaring in my ears.

No… I can’t. They’re going to drag me away. This has never happened to me before… Why now?

I’m scared. I’m scared. Someone help me. …Help me, Kanata…

"Hey! Let go of that girl, you kidnappers!"
"Hah? What’s your problem, old man? Don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong!"
"Yeah, back off before you get hurt, old man!"
"The hell did you just say?! You bastards are gonna regret trying to abduct my girl!"

My head was hazy. From somewhere beyond my narrow vision, angry voices rang out—shouting about kidnapping, injuries, threats. Their words were rough, violent, but they felt distant, like they had nothing to do with me. I was being taken away, after all. Nothing else mattered.

…

"Hey! Nobu! You okay?! Hey!"

Someone was calling me.

That voice—I knew it. Hearing it slowly brightened the darkness that had swallowed my vision. As my sight cleared, so did the sounds around me.

I turned toward the voice and saw Kanata, desperately calling my name with a worried expression on his face.

…Wait. Did Kanata just… save me?

At some point, I had crouched down, and Kanata had lowered himself to my eye level. His hand was on my shoulder—not the hand of that man, but Kanata’s. And it felt so warm.

I reached my hand out in front of me, as if to make sure he was really there. Kanata took hold of it and told me, "It’s okay now."

The fear I once felt at Kanata’s touch was gone, replaced by nothing but relief.

…Kanata saved me with these big hands.

Those large hands suddenly felt so dear to me. Before I even realized it, I was rubbing my cheek against them.

It felt unreal how calm my heart was now, as if the fear I’d had of Kanata earlier had been nothing but a lie.

As my nerves finally settled, I remembered something from the commotion earlier. Those words I’d heard—

"My girl."

Heh… even if he only said it to ward off those creeps, he still said it. And instead of hating it, I was actually happy to hear it.

I guess right now my emotions are all over the place from being rescued, so I’m probably thinking in ways that aren’t like me at all.

Totally unlike me. Which is why… maybe I’ll get back at Kanata just a little.

I pulled the big hand I had been rubbing my cheek against, yanking Kanata closer, and whispered in his ear:

"Who are you calling your girl?"

"!? …You heard that? Damn, that’s embarrassing. But hey, I had to say something like that to those guys."

"I get it. You saved me this time, so I’ll let it slide."

"…Yeah."

I let go, stood up, and stretched. I checked my clothes just in case—no tears, no damage. Good.

Well, since he saved me, I should at least thank him. Even with best friends, gratitude matters.

"Kanata, thanks for saving me. When they grabbed me, I really thought it was over. If that had kept going… if I had…"

As I tried to say it, just remembering the fear was enough to choke me up. The realization hit me now, and tears started spilling.

"Of course I’d save you, Nobu. But you must’ve been scared, huh? Sorry… I was late."

He gently pulled me into his arms, holding me while I cried.

"No, it’s not your fault, Kana. It’s mine for trying to put distance between us and ending up alone. You’re not to blame."

"It’s fine. Honestly, if I hadn’t done that stupid thing this morning, you wouldn’t have pulled away. And when you did, I thought I’d give you space, too. So the fault’s on me, not you."

…But truthfully, the reason he had held me down so forcefully before was because I provoked him. If I trace it all back, the one at fault is me.

"Sorry, Kana."

"Don’t apologize. We both did, so let’s call it even. We’re best friends, right? That means caring for each other."

"Yeah… thanks."

I hugged Kanata back, and stayed wrapped in his warmth and scent until my heart finally calmed down.

There was a faint smell of sweat—had he been desperately searching for me? If so, I felt bad for making him worry.

But still… I was truly saved. Thank you, Kanata.

"…Thanks. I’ve calmed down now."

I stepped back and gave him my thanks.

"Since you’re calmer, why don’t you wash your face in the restroom?"

"Yeah, good idea. Can you walk with me as far as the restroom?"

"…Guess I should. Gotta escort the princess, after all."

"Actually, after what happened… stay by my side the rest of the day."

"!? …Fine, fine. As the princess commands."

That day, the distance between Kanata and me felt different from before. Closer than yesterday, even.

And I realized… I really am a frail girl.

The real issue is that I don’t have enough awareness of it. It’s not just about acting more feminine—it’s also about sensing danger, things that normal women would feel in situations like today.

Awareness of being a woman… that’s tough. I spent thirty years as a man. Of course I never had that kind of mindset.

Getting hurt like this, though, makes me realize I have to change. I know now to avoid being alone in isolated places. But beyond that? I’m still clueless.

For now, all I can really do is dress up and try to look like a girl when I go out. But that’s just my idea of femininity—it probably won’t feel right.

And if that’s the case… I really don’t want to go out alone anymore.