Chapter 7: To the Silver Forest★

It’s been a week since, after much hesitation and detours, I finally started playing Aether Frontier.

On the first night, I sent my mom a message saying that it had been fun to play with Eiji and the others again after so long. She replied with a message that seemed relieved and even a little happy. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever once said out loud that something was fun since that time. Back then, my heart had dulled so much that I couldn’t feel anything at all, let alone something like joy.

But those words that slipped out so naturally seemed to put her mind at ease, because she wrote back: “As long as you’re eating and sleeping properly, you don’t have to come out, but don’t overdo it.” In other words, she had officially granted me permission to hole myself up. That should let me keep things hidden for a while. My only lingering worry is that I still haven’t even found a clue as to how to return things back to normal.

I’ve been using my free time to search the net and comb through the library, but of course I haven’t found anything promising. I know it would be better to open up and ask my friends for help, to broaden my perspective. But I still can’t bring myself to take that first step.

So, telling myself “just a little longer, just a little longer,” like some excuse, I keep running away into the world of the game. Over there, I’m nothing more than a net cross-player—to anyone who knows me, my in-game appearance is a lie. As long as no one finds out, only the image of me back when I was a boy is the truth. To escape from the crushing weight of stacked-up lies and pretense, I throw myself into the lukewarm comfort of these days.

　　　　おんらいん☆こみゅにけーしょん
　　　　　　　　Contact.01-1 『To the Silver Forest』

While I was hunting alone, I got an in-game mail from Eiji. It was noon in the real world, on the day the blazing summer sun managed the feat of beating last year’s record-high temperature. The mail invited me to join a trip that afternoon to the northern floating continent’s Silver Forest, ≪Cresea≫.

Truth is, I’ve been playing solo up until now. After that, Eiji and the others did invite me to join their guild. But the guild they’re in was started by one of Ibuki’s classmates, and apparently it has quite a few members. I thought it over, but I just couldn’t handle acting together with total strangers yet, so I declined.

A small prick of pain hit my chest when I realized my close friends had built up a wider circle of acquaintances without me. But unlike me, hiding away, they were enjoying their student lives, so of course they’d have friends I didn’t know. The only mistake was that I ended up refusing in a sulky tone.

Maybe that’s why they’ve been considerate toward me since. Even if we’re in different guilds, it’s not like we don’t interact. Eiji and the others usually go hunting with their guild members, but they still make time to team up with me whenever they can. I honestly can’t thank them enough. Truthfully, I was already feeling discouraged by how tough the early game was, so even while I feel guilty, I’ve been leaning on them.

Naturally, the one who teams up with me the most is Meiri. And it goes without saying, she’s also the one who seemed the most disappointed when I turned down the guild invite. It’s frightening to think how much I owe her now with all her help, but despite her words and actions, she actually keeps a respectful distance, so in truth I’m not too worried.

Her idea of “pampering” mostly amounts to things like dressing me up cute, hugging me, petting me, and spoiling me rotten! So I’ve started to think that when the time comes to repay her, I might be able to compromise enough to allow hugging. Anything beyond that would break my spirit, though, so I plan to refuse.

This “answer” came when Eiji asked her directly, “What exactly do you mean by pampering?” Meiri glanced at me, then made her claim. Which makes it highly credible. She clearly stumbled over her words halfway through and got all flustered in a way that sounded like excuses, but for the sake of my mental health, I’ve erased that part from my memory. Surely a young lady who always insists on her dignity wouldn’t have said something like that to me otherwise.

Now that I think about it, I’d wondered why she was so fixated on me. But her answer turned out to be surprisingly simple. According to Meiri, the game has around a hundred thousand active players, officially announced. Of those, there are only about a hundred players under thirteen. And among them, only about ten are girls—counting me, since I long since gave up on correcting her. The youngest, she said, is a nine-year-old boy who plays together with his dad.

And me? Physically, I’m in the absolute youngest class. On top of that, my avatar’s quality is absurdly high. According to her, I’m “ultra rare, under absolute protection by agreement.” I wanted to protest—what’s this agreement, stop treating me like an endangered species, and how did she even find that out?—but there were too many things to object to. Better not to stir up trouble I couldn’t handle.

For the record, I’m in the 120 cm range. I’ll say it again: the 120 cm range. I haven’t measured exactly, but I’m definitely in the 120s. Please remember that. From an outside perspective, it’s no wonder people would think I’m still single digits in age; at best, I could pass for a middle schooler. Being this small makes me stand out way too much in a game with an average player age of nineteen, seventy percent of them male.

So what would happen if I joined a big guild? No doubt I’d be treated like a mascot. Almost everyone, starting with Meiri, would treat me as a little girl. But no matter how I look, I’m a man through and through. I’ve never had any interest in crossdressing, and I’ve never once wanted to be doted on as a girl. Even this whole net cross-play thing is nothing but unwanted.

Could any ordinary guy endure being treated like that? No. At least, just imagining it makes my heart creak in pain. That’s why I chose the solo path.

…That was a long tangent. Anyway, I’ve been leading a slow-paced adventurer life. The only regret is that despite this being a floating continent world, I’ve never once left the starting continent. Since Eiji and the others invited me, there’s no real reason to refuse this time.

"Saw your mail. Who’s going to be there?"

I checked the friend list and saw he was logged in, so I sent him a private whisper. He might not have time to reply right away if he was busy, so I grabbed a portable juice from my inventory while waiting. The chilled soda fizzed and popped on my tongue, tickling me. Maybe the best thing about this game is that you can eat without worrying about calories or sugar. You don’t get physically full, but you do feel satisfied. Apparently, this feature is why pastry shops and restaurants are always packed with female players.

"For now, it’s me, River, and Meiri—the usual crew. And also Mii. You know Mii, right?"

His reply came before I finished my drink. “Mii” is a female priest in their guild, Gungnir. She has wavy peach-colored hair and looks like a gentle, quiet girl. I met her the day after the Walker-sensei incident, through Meiri’s introduction, and we registered as friends.

Since she was a friend of Meiri’s, I was terrified at first. But once I spoke with her, I found she was unexpectedly kind and sensible, which disarmed me. I haven’t seen her more than once since then, since timing hasn’t lined up, but if it’s her, I think it’ll be fine.

"Yeah, I have her on my friend list. With that group, I think I’ll be okay, so… I’ll come too."

After a moment’s thought, I replied with agreement. If it’s mostly the usual members, the mental burden should be light. Just one thing still nagged at me.

"But is it okay with your guild? I thought expeditions like this were usually done with your guild."

I wondered if it was really okay with his guild. Normally, expeditions like this are done at the guild level. Wouldn’t it seem like sneaking off on their own?

"The guildmaster gave us permission. Besides, that place is just a little island that’s more of a sightseeing spot than anything. It’s not the kind of place you’d bring a whole guild to. With it being so hot outside, we figured at least in-game we could cool off. And since we’re going anyway, we thought we’d invite you along to a snowy area."

I pulled up a browser to check the wiki. It said ≪Cresea≫ was a small floating island north of the starter continent, ≪Esca≫. A frigid zone where it was always snowing. All it had was a conifer forest and a spring, so it wasn’t a place you’d go for any real purpose.

"If that’s the case, then I’ll come along. Playing in the snow in the middle of summer does sound strange, though."

That’s the beauty of a full-immersion game—you can play in a snow country without leaving your home. I caught myself thinking like an old man: what a time to be alive.

"There’s usually no one there anyway, so it should be perfect to beat the heat."

"Yeah, so should we meet up at the terminal after getting ready?"

"Yeah, that works. How about 1 p.m. after lunch?"

"Okay, I’ll be there around then. See you later."

I ended the chat at a good stopping point, and decided to head back to town to整理 my inventory. The clock was just about to strike twelve—plenty of time to prepare. Using a Return Charm, an item that brings you back to your registered home city, I logged out safely.

"…………nn."

I took off the headgear and exhaled deeply. My body wasn’t really tired, but for some reason I always felt the urge to do this after logging out. The cicadas outside pierced through the window with their deafening cries, making the brutal heat of the day sink into my mood.

On certain message boards, I’d seen threads the past few days about people who kept playing without air-conditioning, only to get force-logged out when the vital check flagged the heat as dangerous.

Luckily, my room was cooled, so I didn’t have to worry about that. The thought of playing without AC was honestly horrifying.

"～～～"

Stretching out on the bed like a cat, I reached for the lunch I’d left on the table: some homemade rice balls and a bottled tea. It might look like a lazy lifestyle, but I pull my weight with chores when people are around, so I’d like some slack. Otherwise, all sorts of problems could crop up.

"……"

Even though I made the rice balls the same size I always do, they felt unusually big today. One had salted kelp, the other cod roe. A bit too salty for someone not exercising much, but I hadn’t had better ingredients on hand. Washing it down with tea to soften the saltiness, I turned to my computer and pulled up the Aether Frontier wiki to list the items I’d need.

…There wasn’t much written on the page, but what was there sounded pretty ominous. The must-have item: a winter coat. Helpful to bring: heat drinks that strengthened cold resistance. The bottom line: stack as much cold resistance as possible.

"…………"

I committed the list of must-haves and recommendations to memory as I finished eating, like I was preparing for an actual arctic expedition. Would this really be okay? That uneasy feeling never went away.

The Terminal Tower—this massive silver spire that dominates the center of the starting city, ≪Esca≫—is a grand airport serving as the hub for airships connecting every continent. The colossal tower, so tall it seems to pierce the heavens, is fitted with countless gates from which airships constantly arrive and depart.

The ship bound for the ≪Cresea≫ continent, our destination, was scheduled to depart from the third level of the tower. That was also where we planned to meet. The time was five minutes before one o’clock. I thought I was a little early, but by the time I, burdened with my luggage, reached the platform, it seemed Eiji and the others were already there.

"Ah, San-chan! Over here!"

"Hello, San-chan."

『Hi, did I keep you waiting?』

"Not at all, I just got here myself."

I gave a wry smile as Meiri, who spotted me instantly, waved her hand. I walked closer and exchanged greetings. I generally tried to use polite speech with everyone except Eiji and the others. Part of it was just the game system, but really, I was following Ibuki’s advice: if I stuck to polite speech, people wouldn’t suspect I was actually male. I wasn’t sure if that alone was enough, but Ibuki said things like not being able to keep up with women’s topics or my choice of first-person pronoun would probably only make me seem like an elementary schooler at worst. That comment stung a little.

"This guy didn’t want to keep San waiting, so he came twenty minutes early… ah, nothing, never mind."

On the ≪Cresea≫ platform, no one else seemed to be around. Maybe it wasn’t that popular? As I cast glances around, I thought I heard Eiji say something. Since my attention was elsewhere, I didn’t quite catch it.

『Sorry, I didn’t catch that. What did you say?』

"You don’t need to worry about it, San-chan."

I tried to ask again, but with Meiri glaring daggers at Eiji and radiating some strange pressure, I shrank back and couldn’t press further.

『The flight bound for ≪Cresea≫ will soon commence boarding. Passengers are requested to board promptly.』

A calm female voice delivered the announcement to our ears. Deciding the rest of the conversation could wait until later, we crossed the gangplank together and boarded a small airship about the size of a cruiser, moored at the platform. At the neighboring ≪Yubel≫ platform, a grand galleon-styled airship was docked. Compared to that, our vessel felt underwhelming.

"…It’s just the difference between a commuter craft made for short trips to isolated islands and one that serves as both transport and luxury cruise from a major port."

Thanks for the explanation, Ibuki—but please stop reading my mind. Am I really that easy to read? As I massaged my face with both hands, wondering if everything I thought showed so plainly, Meiri suddenly clenched her fists and started fidgeting in some strange, excited way. I quickly stopped before it got worse, sat down quietly on a bench on deck, and waited for departure.

"By the way, what’s in that bag you’ve got?"

Eiji had sharp eyes and quickly noticed my backpack. Since it wasn’t anything I needed to hide, I opened it and showed him. A heavy winter cloak for insulation, talismans for cold resistance, a portable heater—basically, nothing you’d want to see in the middle of summer. Heat drinks were a production specialty and still rare, so I couldn’t afford one.

"Just looking at that gear makes me feel hot."

"Well, they say it’s freezing over there."

"…Huh?"

Eiji looked fed up, while Ibuki nodded in agreement. And it was Eiji who was shocked at Ibuki’s response. Their opposite reactions gave me a sinking feeling. Don’t tell me… this guy hardly researched anything?

『The wiki said it was super cold, so I figured I should prepare, just in case.』

"You had time, so at least do some basic research, okay?"

"Wait, really? No, I mean, it can’t be that bad… right?"

Don’t ask me. Since I’d never been there myself, I couldn’t say for sure. With Eiji looking uneasy, the airship slowly began to move. At this point, all I could do was pray he didn’t freeze to death.

The ship rose gradually, leaving the platform behind. I thought the pace seemed awfully leisurely, but the moment it aligned with its course, it accelerated with astonishing speed. The cityscape blurred in an instant and was soon behind us. From the deck stretched a sea of pure white clouds and a vast blue sky reaching to the horizon. Strangely, I felt almost no wind. Looking closely, I saw a faint magic circle at the bow repelling the air.

『Fast!?』

"It’s a shock the first time, huh?"

Mii-san chimed in cheerfully, saying she had been surprised too. Well, anyone would be fooled by the small-ship appearance; the speed was on par with an airplane.

"For intercontinental travel around here, it usually takes about ten real minutes. Sightseeing ships fly slower to make the trip more scenic."

According to Ibuki, travel time was shortened to some degree for convenience. It was nice not to waste time, but having the scenery rush past in an instant felt a little unsatisfying, especially when crossing floating continents. Maybe the developers realized that too, since they also provided sightseeing airships designed for tourism. I found myself wanting to try one next time.

"A sightseeing cruise sounds so nice, doesn’t it? But the tickets are just a liiittle too pricey, so I haven’t managed yet. …Alright, once I’ve made a bit more money, I’ll take you. Let’s go together, okay, San-chan?"

『Yes, I’ll make sure I can afford it too.』

Meiri seemed interested in the sightseeing cruise too. I’d have to check how much "expensive" actually meant, but once we saved enough money, maybe we could all take an in-game trip together. Since real finances weren’t a limitation, it sounded like something we could do casually. It was a shame there weren’t hot springs—apparently that crossed some ethical line—but the game offered plenty of other unique tourist spots. I was looking forward to exploring that side of things someday.

"…The only disappointment is no hot springs."

I faintly heard Meiri’s mutter. Needless to say, I immediately tossed that "too bad there aren’t hot springs" nonsense into the incinerator of my mind.

After chatting away to pass the time, it wasn’t long before the airship began to decelerate. I felt the surrounding temperature drop sharply. At some point, snow had started drifting down outside the protective barrier, turning the once-blue scenery into shades of gray and white.

"…Wait, it’s freezing!?"

I pulled my heavy winter coat over my robe. Eiji, meanwhile, rubbed his arms and stomped his feet to keep warm. From the deck railing, I peered down at our destination: a floating island blanketed in snow. A conifer forest spread as far as the eye could see. Even though the island was supposedly "small," I couldn’t see the opposite shore. Factoring in the bad weather, it was clearly quite large. And this biting cold—we hadn’t even set foot yet, and I could already feel it despite my layered gear.

Around the starting area were attractions like a sea in the sky, a maze of clouds, a crystalline flower garden—enticing sights, all. Hardly anyone would pay to come first to this frozen white forest. That was why, unlike other maps crowded with players, exploration here had barely progressed.

If I remembered right, the game’s development concept was: "We want players to explore this vast fantasy world on their own two feet, and enjoy discoveries as if living through a story." Given the developers’ playfulness, I was sure hidden events existed here. But hardcore players, obsessed with efficiency, rushed ever forward, leaving places like this ignored. Habits ingrained over years were hard to break.

Still, that gave relaxed players like me the chance to make new discoveries—so it was both a curse and a blessing. I actually enjoyed this kind of ruin-hunting, and with the gear I brought, I planned to explore as much as I could.

Eventually the airship came to a complete stop, and a gangplank was set down. As expected, the station here was much smaller than the Terminal. Its retro brick design was almost an antique. I’d heard some old rural towns still had buildings like that, but I’d only ever seen them in photographs.

"It really is cold, though…"

"…"

I found myself nodding at Meiri’s comment. It wasn’t an icy wasteland, nor was a blizzard raging, yet the chill was abnormal. A quick glance at the environmental settings on my status screen made me shudder: -30°C.

"Ababababa!"

"Eiji-kun, are you okay?"

Having underestimated winter, Eiji was already receiving his baptism from the north. His HP bar, tinged blue by sustained cold damage, was slowly being whittled away. His outfit—multiple layers sewn into a coat—left little skin exposed, but it was useless in this climate. With no cold-resistance gear, he was defenseless against the snow.

"This is what you get for not doing proper research."

"I admit it! I admit it, so somebody help me!?"

Easier said than done. Cold-weather gear was bulky. The game’s system determined inventory capacity by avatar build, level, stats like strength and stamina, and skill modifiers. Within that limit, items could be stored as data. Among us, only shield-frontliner Meiri and speed-type frontliner Eiji had spare capacity. The rest of us were all fragile magic users. As for me, I’d overpacked—my inventory was overweight, so I stuffed the excess into a backpack.

The inventory could store items up to the limit without weight or size restrictions and without occupying your hands—convenient, but with limited capacity. Backpacks, on the other hand, stored items physically, complete with weight and size, but you could haul as much as your determination allowed.

Normally, backpacks were used for light, bulky things like scrolls and talismans. The fact I’d crammed a coat inside meant my inventory was completely full. Ibuki and Mii-san were in similar situations—they just shook their heads at me with pitying looks.

That left one last hope: Meiri.

"San-chan, aren’t you cold? Here, drink this—it’ll warm you up."

Apparently misinterpreting my glance, she handed me a small 100ml glass bottle filled with a red liquid: a Heat Drink. Consumables like this were rare and expensive. Was it really okay to accept it? She wouldn’t demand repayment… in some shady way later, would she?

『Is it okay if I take this?』

"Of course. I bought it so San-chan wouldn’t suffer in the cold. It’s yours."

Her smile was gentle as she said that. She must have gone out of her way to hunt down a shop that sold them, planning ahead to make our trip more comfortable. Meiri might say dumb things sometimes, but she was thoughtful and kind, which made it impossible to dislike her.

"Meiri-saaan, there’s another poor soul freezing right over here!"

"I only bought enough for San-chan. Besides, it’s just a game. You won’t catch a cold, and it’s not like the cold actually makes you lose anything."

Well, apparently her kindness was limited to little girls only.

"I am losing something! My life bar! It’s dropping fast!!"

I felt a bit guilty about passing along someone else’s kindness so carelessly, but if we kept dawdling here, everyone would just end up freezing. Going back now and taking another airship wasn’t really an option either—it would just kill everyone’s motivation. And if I drank the potion myself, Eiji might build up resentment and blurt out that I was a ネカマ. That would be a huge problem.

『Meiri, can I give this to Ace instead?』

"San, you…"

"Yeah, I gave it to San-chan. You can use it however you like."

So the drink should go to whoever needs it most right now. I had brought some of my own anyway, so I’d manage without. To my surprise, Meiri agreed right away—maybe she had planned for me to hand it over from the start. With that settled, I passed the drink to the shivering Eiji.

"Ohh… my true friend…!"

For some reason, he looked so moved he nearly hugged me, but I slipped away with a quick backstep. Since when had he changed classes into the pushy childhood friend archetype? I had no intention of suffering through his overbearing recital. Though he seemed disappointed for a moment, he quickly recovered and downed the drink in one go.

"Huh… tomato flavor? …Whoa, it actually worked. I don’t feel cold anymore."

That was unexpected—I’d assumed it would taste like chili or something. Not that that was why I hadn’t drunk it myself, but still. As expected from a player-made product, the effect was flawless. The constant damage from the cold had vanished. Supposedly, terrain-resistance drinks like this lasted for several hours, so he should be fine for now.

"Ace, that means you owe San-chan one now."

"Wait, I owe her!?"

I decided to ignore whatever scheme Meiri was cooking up and joined Ibuki’s group, who had been frowning at the map for a while now. They’d be fine without me. …Though it suddenly struck me: despite essentially deceiving Meiri, why was I able to stay so calm? Normally, I hated this kind of thing. No—maybe it wasn’t quite that. I did feel guilty about lying. But… hold on. Did I not actually feel like I was deceiving her?

A shiver ran up my spine—not from the cold air, but from something deeper. Could it be that my body had grown too accustomed to this form, that somewhere inside, I’d begun to accept it… even affirm it?

When had it started? I still felt guilt over lying about being a ネカマ, but at the same time, I no longer resisted her kindness toward me as a “girl.” Was I just growing addicted to the comfort of being cared for, letting myself get used to this situation?

I shook my head to scatter the thought. That was a dangerous idea. If I ever started to affirm myself as a girl, I might never find my way back. I’d need to think more carefully about how close I let Meiri get.

Her almost selfless kindness was like honey—sweet, but maybe a little too sweet for me right now. Hugging my shivering body, I tried to distract myself by joining the map discussion, tugging on Ibuki’s sleeve and starting to type a request to let me see it too.

"We were just saying we should check out the spring first. Haven’t found anything else yet."

The moment I tugged on his sleeve, Ibuki immediately turned the map my way and pointed to a red-marked spot. No hesitation at all. For a second, I seriously wondered if he really could read my mind.

"No, I can’t. It’s just… knowing your personality, your expressions and gestures give you away."

"Ibuki-kun, that’s amazing you can tell."

"Well, you’re easier to read now than you used to be, at least."

Relieved, I let out a breath. It was a ridiculous suspicion, but when someone reacted as if they’d read your thoughts, you couldn’t help but doubt. And considering I lived in a world where the supernatural undeniably existed—being one of its victims myself—I couldn’t dismiss the possibility outright.

"I wonder if I could tell too, if I looked carefully…"

"?"

When I turned, I found Mii-san staring right at me. What was this about? Did I have snow on my face? I rubbed at my cheek with my thick coat sleeve, but couldn’t tell. Confused, I tilted my head.

"…Nope, the only thing I could tell is that you’re cute."

"Well, if you’re not used to it, that’s about all you’ll see."

What on earth was that supposed to mean?