Chapter 3: It's Not Like I'm a NEET or Anything

It's not something I'm proud of, but it's not like I spend all day sleeping.

When I'm hungry, I eat. When it's time for cleaning, I even get out of bed.

That's right. It's not that I'm lazy... I just don't work. It's not like I'm a NEET or anything.

"…That's the lowest of the low. You know people out there call that a NEET, right?"

"It's called passive income."

"No, that's not how it works! You're not exactly living for free, you know!?"

Well, to me, it practically feels free anyway.

I don't really care much about it, but I do prefer my bed as fluffy as possible, so I at least get up when it's cleaning time. There was even a suggestion to switch bedrooms daily, but I shot it down because I didn't want to walk down the hallway. I don't want a fluffy bed badly enough to go that far.

Honestly, the single best part of reincarnating as a demon is that no matter how long I sleep, I never wake up with headaches.

Stretching wide, I slowly rose from the bed and sat down on a sturdy, heavy wooden armchair.

I like this chair. Apparently, it's some kind of antique and worth quite a lot, but I don't really know the details. Whenever I rock back and forth in it, it reminds me of when I was a baby being cradled in a rocking cradle. And naturally, it makes me sleepy again.

"Hey. Something to cover me with."

"Yes, of course. Here you go, Demon king-sama."

The maid, who had come for cleaning, handed me a blanket with a cheerful, bright smile.

Yes… this. This is exactly the kind of treatment that befits someone—even if only nominally—called the Demon king.

Being a Demon king isn't just a title; I have actual subordinates and even my own territory.

Granted, it was all bestowed upon me by the Great Demon Lord, but that's irrelevant. What matters is that these bestowed subordinates take care of everything for me.

I'm not bragging or anything, but I can't clean, I can't cook, and I can't even do laundry. The only thing I'm good at is sleeping.

I thanked her, took the blanket, and wrapped myself up in it on the armchair.

That's when the Great Demon Lord’s errand girl shoved me.

With ridiculous strength, she knocked me off the chair. My body went airborne, and I slammed headfirst into the wall.

Seriously, she's absurdly strong. Every time I get sent flying like this, I'm reminded of when I was still human a long time ago, and I realize all over again that this is a different world.

…Is it just me, or has this woman's treatment of me gotten worse over time?

"Wh—! Demon king-sama!? A-are you alright!?"

"Yeah."

"Enough already!!"

She stomped her foot furiously, and despite the floor supposedly being reinforced by magic, it creaked under the pressure.

She looked absolutely furious—like a demon incarnate. Wait, how long has it even been since she started coming here?

The maid hurriedly helped me up by the armpits and placed me back onto the armchair without protest.

Then, without hesitation, the maid pointed her finger straight at the Great Demon Lord's errand girl.

Since she's one of the Demon king's subordinates, the maid is naturally also a demon. I don't know her attribute. Actually, come to think of it, I don't even know her name.

I've always been bad at remembering people's names… mostly because I don't care enough to.

"You're the one who needs to stop, Riez Bloodcross! Even if you are one of Kanon-sama's direct inspectors, that attitude toward Demon king-sama is far beyond disrespectful!"

…Ah. So her name's Riez, huh.

Now that she mentioned it, I vaguely recall her introducing herself back when she was first assigned here.

"Haaah!? It's because of YOU people that this Demon king never lifts a finger!!"

That insult finally forced me to speak up.

"Even without them, I still wouldn't work."

"As expected of Lazy-sama!"

The maid's eyes sparkled with admiration as she gazed at me. Does she even realize that I don't know her name?

…Also, what exactly is she admiring me for?

Well, whatever. None of it really matters.

I closed my eyes in resignation.

"Hey! Don't fall asleep!! You just woke up!!"

"Riez, Demon king-sama is resting! Lower your voice!"

"Ughhh!! Why are you all so soft on him!? Why is this guy even a Demon king!? All he ever does is SLEEP!"

Ugh. So noisy.

Everything about this is exhausting.

There are plenty of demons, but very few Demon kings.

The criteria for becoming one are simple:

Class: 『Demon King』

Having that class is what sets Demon kings apart.

The concept of “classes” didn’t exist in my previous world, but to put it simply, it's like a profession.

When someone gains a class, they gain access to several strange, supernatural abilities—called skills—in this world. I don't know the details, nor do I know how they work… or if there’s even an explanation at all. The only thing that really matters is this: as long as you have a class, you get to use useful abilities. No effort required.

Reincarnators often get assigned special classes like Hero, Sage, or Champion.

In my case, I was born with the class 『Demon』.

But after years of living a lazy, indulgent life, at some point it evolved into 『Demon King』. Apparently, class evolutions happen often. I think someone once called it an “advanced class” or something… but honestly, I don’t remember.

Either way, without doing a damn thing, I somehow became a Demon King. Thanks to this absurd stroke of luck, I can use all sorts of incomprehensible powers however I want.

So, to answer this woman's question, the explanation is simple:

I became a Demon King just by sleeping. It wasn’t my choice.

That's the only answer I have—and I’m not bothering to say it out loud. Too much effort.

Then, puffing out her chest, the woman bellowed in a solemn, commanding voice:

"Demon King Lazy Slaughterdolls! As a direct agent of the Great Demon Lord and a member of the 『Black Apostles』, by the name of the Great Demon Lord Kanon, I command you! Lead your Legion Army to the Infernal Abyss and destroy the opposing Demon King, Granza Estard!"

"Nope."

Why. Seriously, why the hell should I go to some unknown battlefield just because she says so?

"Hah!? Are you seriously refusing a direct order issued in the Great Demon Lord's name? Do you… do you even understand what that means!?"

"……"

I was going to just say “I don’t know” since I honestly don’t care, but then I realized even talking about it was too much of a hassle, so I stopped.

Personality mismatch. There’s no way I’ll ever get along with this woman. I hate pointless things, and I hate troublesome things even more. The only things I truly love are sleep and free time. Everything else… I couldn’t care less.

I motioned to the maid, who had been quietly watching nearby, and spoke a single word.

"Tea."

"…As you command."

The maid bowed deeply and respectfully.

She quickly left, her footsteps tapping briskly against the floor. Finally, I could start closing my eyes again… and then I got smacked in the head.

The force was ridiculous. My favorite armchair shattered beneath me, and cracks spiderwebbed across the floor.

The woman’s arms were slender—barely as thick as my own scrawny ones. But this was a fantasy world; strength and appearance didn’t correlate here.

I glanced at the furious, red-faced woman breathing heavily with flared nostrils… and since my chair was destroyed, I simply lay down right there on the spot.

I couldn’t get in bed yet. The sheets were being aired out. And honestly, climbing back onto the bed sounded exhausting anyway.

The woman stared at me, completely dumbfounded.

"…H-huh!? Y-you… seriously!? Are you for real!? Say something, dammit!"

What a ridiculously troublesome woman.

Especially how quickly she resorts to violence—that’s no good. And considering she’s a direct subordinate of Kanon, she’s way stronger than an average demon. In this world, demons are divided into ranks—ordinary demons, demon generals, demon kings, and so on. Judging by her strength, she’s probably around one step below a Demon King… roughly “General-class” power.

A fantasy world or not, there are still people whose strength and status don’t match their temperament… just like in my previous life. Well, in her case, at least her power probably does match.

Still… what a pain.

"Violence is wrong."

She grabbed my collar and shook me violently back and forth.

A grown man, taller by at least two heads, being rattled around by a tiny woman—it was quite the sight. But… there was no way something like this would ever disturb my sleep.

"Huh!? You’re closing your eyes right now!? Are you insane!? What kind of Demon King ARE you!?"

She started slapping my cheeks repeatedly, throwing in some solid body blows for good measure.

An uppercut snapped my jaw, followed seamlessly by a kick to the ribs. Her movements were fluid, refined—this was someone who’d clearly had a lot of practice beating people up.

This woman… she has zero mercy for her assigned superior.

Feathers exploded into the air as my down blanket burst open under the impact.

Guess I’ll bill Kanon for that later… not that I’ll be the one actually doing it.

Still, even with all this, there was no way something like this would ever disturb my sleep.

Not because I have high pain tolerance or anything. I simply don’t take damage.

Unlike Japan, this world runs on a very systematic framework: every living thing has a stat called HP. As long as HP doesn’t drop, the body doesn’t get injured, and you don’t feel any pain either.

Normally, punches, kicks, or skills would reduce HP, but here’s where Vitality (VIT) comes into play. The higher your VIT, the less damage you take.

This entire world runs on stats and parameters, which creates a pretty brutal power gap between people. Honestly… it’s annoying.

And me? Being a Demon King, my VIT is absurdly high. Every single one of this woman’s attacks is completely negated by my VIT’s damage reduction. To me, her punches hit about as hard as a baby’s taps.

No wonder I’m sleepy.

Still… what an irritating woman. I wonder what her element is.

I finally felt a tiny spark of curiosity.

"You. What’s your attribute—"

But then I sighed, rolled onto my side, and deliberately looked away.

"DON’T… YOU… DARE… STOP… MID-SENTENCEEEEEEE!"

God, she’s loud. I’m just… not that interested in you, lady.

Even when I try talking, I just stop halfway because I lose interest entirely.

She stomped on my torso, kicked my face like a soccer ball, and even pressed a blade against my cheek.

Seriously, why are you pulling out a weapon now?

…Not that I plan on saying anything anyway.

A few minutes later, the only ones left were a completely exhausted, panting subordinate of the Great Demon Lord… and me, perfectly unharmed.

"Haa… haa… This… bastard… I knew it… but… y-you’re… way too hard…"

Of course I am. If my VIT weren’t this high, I wouldn’t be able to get any sleep around here with all these interruptions.

My VIT isn’t just high; I also have insane resistance to heat, cold, poison, paralysis, and just about every abnormal status or elemental effect you can think of.

Not that I was born this way—it’s just one of the inherent skills that comes with the Demon Lord class.

I could explain in detail, but… meh. Too much effort.

The woman looked down at her hands in shock, muttering in disbelief.

"This… this is the Demon King of ‘Sloth’…"

Yes. Witness, hear, and behold my power.

And then, if you’d be so kind… shut up.

For everyone’s sake, that’s the one and only path to true happiness.