Chapter 14: Baron Rat – Ratlord③

Ratlord rubbed his hands together.

"While you’re at it, tossing in a little extra reward would make me real happy, y’know～"

"I’m a poor student with a scholarship loan. Don’t ask for the impossible. I’ve got a free donut coupon though."

"Yesss!"

…That’s good enough for you? I took the coupon out of my wallet and handed it over. I half-expected him to grab my wallet and bolt, villain-style, but nope. Instead, Ratlord tucked the free donut coupon into his chest pocket like it was a precious treasure.

"Man, giving something away for free feels like tearing my guts out, but when someone tells me I get something free, I just wanna dance, y’know"

"I kinda get that."

"Well, I stand out too much, so I probably can’t even use this coupon, though."

Ratlord said it lightly, but those words were heavy.

For people whose abilities make their appearance abnormal, life must be rough. Someone like me or Yukiya, who looks like a normal human, can blend in as long as we keep quiet. Someone like Hina, who can mimic if she works at it, might manage to fit in somehow. But for someone like Ratlord, who’s always got ears and a tail sticking out, his abnormality is obvious at a glance.

I don’t know how he’s lived until now. Did he get to live like a human? Or has he always scraped by like a rat in the alleys?

There’s plenty of room for sympathy. After all, his life could easily have been mine. As a mutant, as a reincarnator, I can’t help but feel that way.

"Want me to go exchange it for you?"

"What!? You’d really do that!?"

At my offer, Ratlord’s face lit up. Seen like this, he almost looks cute. Not something you’d usually think about a scruffy middle-aged guy, but… well, if I just think of him as a rat, yeah. Animals are always dirty—because they’re fighting to survive.

"Get me one with chocolate on it, yeah!"

"Sure thing."

…Yeah, that’s cute. Even the world’s most famous character is a mouse. Rodents really do have a healing vibe.

"Wanna come with me?"

"That’d defeat the whole purpose, y’know."

"Then just wait here."

Since my donut-date offer got rejected, I went to the shop alone. My favorite donut shop had burned down in the battle between Inferna and Ironclad, so they’d relocated. Lucky for me, it was now even closer to campus.

I used the coupon to get one donut and bought another for myself. Even with freebies, I always end up buying something too. I guess that’s the whole point of coupons. It’s the same business model Ratlord uses—try for free, and if you like it, keep buying.

I ate my donut as I walked back to campus. I half-expected him to have run off, but Ratlord was still there. They say he’s fast on his feet, so I guess if anything happened, he could’ve escaped easily. He even managed to get away from Snow Fox. Me? I couldn’t escape and got frozen solid.

Still, being fast overlaps with Raiden’s specialty. Guess speed really is important. Though in Ratlord’s case, he doesn’t seem to have any offensive ability, so speed alone probably isn’t enough.

Watching him nibble at his donut bit by bit, I thought maybe, if I ever kept a pet, a house mouse or hamster would be nice. Not a middle-aged man though. Definitely not. I mean, I already have one at home, but he’s just shy of being middle-aged.

Still… having a second one would be pushing it. Jin even said he’d move out if a "No.2" showed up. His condition’s been stable since taking the medicine, but I still want to keep him under observation a little longer.

"If I had more money and a bigger house, I could’ve told you, ‘Wanna come live with me?’ you know."

Ratlord stiffened in shock. This is where you’re supposed to be happy, right? I mean, I’m passing as a beautiful girl here.

"You sure are soft-hearted, missy."

"At least take a bath, would you? Cleanliness is important in customer service."

"Water’s not my thing, y’know."

"I might be broke, but I’ve still got hot water."

"Doesn’t matter the temperature, I just don’t like getting wet."

"Seems like a lot of people hate baths these days. Guess smartphones are to blame—hard to use near water."

"Nah, it’s more of an animal trait. Same reason cats and dogs hate getting washed."

"Putting yourself on the same level as dogs and cats is pretty damn presumptuous."

"I’m a rat, y’know."

"…Still a bit presumptuous."

"Ehh!?"

Ratlord reeled back, shocked. I tried to find the right words.

"Look, the fact we can have a conversation means I see you as human. If you can talk rat-language, then to rats, you’re a rat. But I can’t understand rat-speech. If you squeaked at me, you’d just be a middle-aged guy squeaking. I want to respect you as a human. You got a problem with that?"

Ratlord dropped his half-eaten chocolate donut.

He blankly picked it back up and bit into it again. Hey. Hygiene, man. Don’t eat stuff you dropped. Maybe his stomach’s tough like a rat’s? …I guess that makes it fine?

If Ratlord were a mutant who changed from rat to human form, then being treated as human would probably feel wrong. Rat-like human, or human-like rat—that’s an important distinction.

If he thought "Rats rule! Humans suck!" then my words would’ve been insulting. Not that I don’t kinda get that feeling too. Humans are gross with no body hair. Though naked mole rats are cute. …Yeah, humans suck just for being human. I wish I’d been reborn as something else.

"…This is the first time I’ve wanted to see someone again, y’know. Stay alive, alright?"
"You too. Is your lifespan closer to humans or rats? I hope it’s closer to humans—I wanna see you again too."

When I said that, Ratlord chirped, chichichi. And again—I don’t understand rat-speech. What’d he say?