Chapter 45: Hina Akazawa

"I'm like this because of what happened right before I was born. My head turned into fire. If there had been fire inside my mother's womb, she would have burned to death. I was born by killing my mother. From the moment I came into this world, I was already a murderer."

Was this how Raiden felt when he listened to my story about the past?

"My father never allowed me to set my head aflame. Of course he didn’t—this fire killed the wife he loved. I think he really tried hard, though. Even though the one who killed his wife was me, he still raised me. But sometimes he gets terrified. Maybe he really does believe that one day, I’ll burn him alive."

Her story weighed heavy.

"Maybe it’s true. So many times I thought about burning my father to death. But I couldn’t. Even that day, I couldn’t do it."

Hina stood on the edge—just before becoming a hero, she was on the verge of turning into a villain.

She wanted to tear everything apart, reduce it to chaos.
I hadn’t heard what led her to that point, or why she quit her job, but it must have been something huge.
Or maybe it was the sum of her entire life up to now.
The day someone snaps can come suddenly.

"I thought that if I became a hero, maybe I’d be accepted. Maybe I could atone for killing my mother. But my father—he’s never once spoken about Inferna. There’s no way he doesn’t realize it’s me. And yet when he calls, all he ever asks is: Have you found a job? How’s work going? That’s it."

So she was still in touch with her father.
Enough for him to at least worry about his unemployed daughter.

"I don’t hate him. That’s why I want him to accept me. Back in school I worked hard, in class and in club activities. I even won awards. He praised me, but it never filled the emptiness. Because that wasn’t the real me."

For Hina, having her head wreathed in fire was normal.
To appear with a human face, she had to suppress her feelings.
That wasn’t natural for her, and it certainly wasn’t enjoyable.
She must have lived her whole life in fear—never allowing herself too much joy, always afraid that if she lost control, her head would burst into flames.

"My father will never accept my true self. In his mind, my fire will always be something meant to kill. So I thought—why not make that true?"

She wanted to burn everything to the ground.
To Hina, her father loomed enormous in her life.
Even though she said she wanted to destroy it all, her impulse had a very clear target.

That day, Hina went to kill her father.
But she couldn’t. And when another villain began rampaging, she ended up fighting as a hero instead.
Wasn’t that because she actually wanted to protect her father?

"If the whole world were monsters like me, then no one would ever look at me with fear again. I’d never have to see that same look my father gives me."

So that was why timid, self-effacing, reserved Hina had kept going as a hero.

She wanted to be her true self.
But she didn’t want to be seen as a monster.
That’s why she saved people—why she showed the world she was harmless.

"I was stupid, wasn’t I? If I burned everyone, then no one would ever look at me again. No, maybe that would’ve been better. To kill everyone so I wouldn’t be treated like a monster. But if I did that, then I really would be a monst—"

"I was born from the ashes, wasn’t I?"

I cut off Hina’s confession.
Any more, and she might start tearing herself apart.

"Even if you burned me, I came back. If one day you really did burn the whole world to cinders, I’d still be by your side."

Thank god no one jumped in to tease me with “Was that a proposal?”
That was way too much like a love confession. But this is what happens when I try to speak my feelings straight.

"Hey, why don’t we just do it?"

Hina flinched, and for an instant her head flared into a pillar of fire.

"I could never…! I know what you’ve been fighting for all this time in college, Inori. To cure your father’s injury and illness, right? You’re nothing like me—you’re a dutiful child, admirable, righteous, good—"

"And yet even after I just suggested destroying the world, you still think I’m some kind of angel?"

I cut her words short.
I’d never denied it when she called me angel, goddess, savior, whatever she wanted.
Because I thought that maybe someone as unstable and anxious as Hina needed that.
But enough was enough. I had to deny it now. I wasn’t some imagined creature. I was real.

"No way. My drug research is stalled. I may not be able to save my old man after all. And if all I get to see is my father dying because I wasn’t strong enough—well, in that moment I might just wish everything would burn."

At least, that was the case until I could get Usuzumi’s cooperation.

I still hadn’t heard back from him, and all I could do was stew in frustration.

Even though I knew full well that drug development isn’t something you fix overnight, I still couldn’t help it.

"Everyone’s got a destructive urge. Nobody lives their life that cleanly. Sorry to disappoint, but true saints don’t exist. Most people live in the gray. And that’s fine. You don’t need to be perfect."

Hina’s head was still human, her spirits completely crushed.

Thanks to that, her expressions were easy to read. And judging by her face, she wasn’t buying a word I said.

"Come on. Deep down you don’t really want the whole world to burn, do you? You don’t need me to give you a reason for that. Do what you want, and if what you want feels like too much trouble, then don’t do it. Relax a little, Miss Serious."

I laughed off Hina’s worries, anxieties, and sense of responsibility.

"Even heroes are allowed to get saved sometimes."

But clearly my words weren’t enough.

No flames appeared on Hina’s head—only the face of a girl swollen from crying.

"But I can’t be a hero anymore. Not after this."

"Oh, don’t worry! Flux has killed tons of people! He even killed me! And he’s still aiming to be a hero! He’s your senpai!"

"Don’t drag him into this right now!"

"Snow Fox killed me by accident, too!"

"I’m sorry…!"

"It’s fine, seriously."

Maybe it was mean to joke about things that still weighed on them, but I was just trying to lighten Hina’s guilt. They could put up with it for a bit.

"I know you’re too earnest to believe this, but if Delta used you to kill people, then that’s not on the one being used—it’s on Delta. You were manipulated. He preyed on your weaknesses and worked you over. Countless villains have been controlled like that. You ending up the same isn’t strange, and it’s nothing I’d blame you for. Uh… don’t know if you knew this, but I actually shelter villains from time to time."

"You… shelter villains."

"So if you ended up turning villain yourself… well, it wouldn’t be great, but I’d still go easy on you. There’s too much I can sympathize with, Hina."

After hearing her story, how could anyone be surprised if she turned villain?

If I’d had Hina’s power, I might’ve ended up the same. There was too much room for sympathy.

That’s how I felt, as someone with abilities—someone reincarnated.

"And that’s why I’m working to see if I can reform villains back into heroes. Delta’s apparently gunning for my life. To have any hope of living in peace, I need to take him down—and for that, I need allies. If I can turn villains into heroes, that’s fewer enemies and more allies. Two birds with one stone. So Hina, if you’d come back as a hero, that’d be the best thing I could ask for."

After a long silence, Hina sniffled softly.

"Do you really think it’s okay? For me to still be a hero…?"

"With what you can do? You’re crazy strong and dependable. Let’s take down Delta together."

Hina scrubbed at her eyes with her arm, wiping away the tears.

She sniffled, then after a moment set her face ablaze again, returning to her usual form.

"Yes…!"

Her voice was still nasally, but firm with intent.

She was no longer a villain.
That figure standing before me was once again the blazing hero—Inferna.