Chapter 2: Determination and Escape

Determination and Escape

"Rui, I love you! Let's be lovers!"

I was frozen by the sudden confession, not understanding what Ryo was saying.

As of today, my body is a girl's, but until yesterday I was a boy, and of course my heart remains a boy's.

To begin with, I don't even have the slightest awareness that I am a girl yet.

Of course, Ryo is a man I'm proud of no matter where I go, and he's too good for me; he's the bestest friend I've ever had in my life.

His family truly embodies the expression "wonderful family." I'm so envious. 

His parents are a handsome man and a beautiful woman, his siblings are also handsome and beautiful, and my first love was Ryo's little sister, Nae-chan! 

Just as I was going off on a tangent in my head, Ryo began to speak. 

"This may be sudden and confusing, so I want you to listen to me."

I interrupt my thoughts and reply, "I'll listen to what you have to say first."

"...O-okay... First of all, Rui is my best friend, no, the best I could have, and I think Rui would agree with me on that."

"Yeah"

"And then Rui contracted TS syndrome. From now on, you will live your life as a woman, and when I saw Rui for the first time today, I fell in love at first sight."

"...Huh!?"

Love at first sight? When you were frozen in the entranceway, I thought you were just frozen in shock, but you really fell in love with me!?

"Until now, I've always thought it would be difficult to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex outside of my family.

But today, my heart was stolen by you, Rui.

If it were a complete stranger, even if I fell in love at first sight, I wouldn't confess right away, but Rui is my childhood friend and best friend, so I know everything about you and there's no reason not to like you.

Until now, whenever I saw you having a friendly conversation with others, I would feel a vague sense of slight jealousy, and from now on I'll probably feel the same, no, an emotion that can't be compared to that.

I believe that friendship alone is not enough between men and women. Even if it appears to work at first glance, I think it's just because the two are suppressing their romantic feelings or are unaware of them.

Even if I continued to live as your best friend without confessing, the fact that you was now physically a woman would be a change of environment and would be mentally tougher for both of us, and we wouldn't be able to do things the way we used to.

So, it doesn't matter if you were a man until yesterday, I don't want to hand you over to anyone, not as a best friend, nor as a woman.

Now that I've fallen in love with you, I have no choice but to take action before you break or get stolen.

Besides, I'm Rui's best friend, so I can definitely protect you and make you happy.

Just because we're lovers doesn't mean I'll make a move on you right away, I intend to match Rui's pace.

I'll say it again, Rui, I love you and I want you to be my lover."

"…………"

I couldn't give an answer right away.

I understand a little bit of what Ryo is trying to say. I too have felt something like jealousy when he smiles at his male friends in the same way that he does at me.

It was the same when there was something else that took priority over me, I felt unreasonably angry, wondering if it was something more important than me.

There was never any romantic feelings, but jealousy exists even between friends. I think so too.

And from now on, I'll be the kind of girl Ryo likes, so if I were to be seen chatting happily with another guy, he'd definitely get jealous, I get it, I understand.

But my heart is still a man, and although I may look different to Ryo now that I'm a girl, what I see hasn't changed. It's like I am being asked to go out with another man, and being lovers is out of the question.

He said he won't make a move right away, but being lovers means that we'll naturally kiss and do more than that, and that's impossible, I can't accept it.

Holding hands is out of the question, but putting an arm around my shoulders might be okay depending on how he hold me... I guess, and Ryo likes playing and watching soccer, so we still do things like put our cheeks between each other's and foreheads together, so maybe that's okay...

This is completely unrelated, but in soccer there's a lot of physical contact in the performance when a goal is scored.

Anyway, we can't do things like holding hands or act like lovers, and we can't just have a romantic relationship either; it's not something that happens that easily, and we're both men.

...But I was afraid of turning him down and ending our relationship; I didn't want to lose Ryo, my best friend either.

Ryo must have confessed with a lot of determination and courage, considering that being in an uncertain state would be the worst for either of us mentally. Once our relationship was over, I could let it go no matter who he was talking to, and I could move on to the next thing without any frustration or jealousy.

But I was afraid of ending our relationship, and I wanted to stay immersed in the lukewarm water of being Ryo's best friend.

But even so, I was thinking of making the worst possible proposal to Ryo.

"Ryo... I'm still a man at heart, so I can't accept your confession as a woman. Please wait."

"..."

"But we're best friends, always have been, and always will be... I want our relationship to remain that way... but maybe..."

Tears naturally well up in my eyes and spill over.

Even though it wasn't intentional, it's still terrible, there's no way Ryo could refuse if he was shown something like this.

Ryo looked down and clenched his fists, as if he was holding back something.

"...Okay, Rui, if that's what you want, let's continue our relationship."

His answer filled me with joy, telling me that our relationship could continue, until I heard Ryo's next words.

"But please don't forget that I love you, Rui, and once you've sorted out your feelings, I want you to tell me your answer.

I apologize for causing you trouble as your heart was still not in order. I'm sorry."

Ryo is serious, and unlike me who is pointlessly putting it off and wasting time, I can tell that he is just thinking and acting in his own way to make our relationship work.

I think that falling in love with someone means imposing your feelings on them as well as each other, so I don't think Ryo's actions are wrong.

It's rare for couples to love each other from the start.

•

•

"So, you're asking about TS syndrome, correct?"

While sitting on the bed, Ryo casually started talking as if nothing had happened, which surprised me a little.

"Yeah, I was surprised to wake up this morning and see that I have become such a beautiful girl. My hair is now blonde and my breast are bigger."

I started talking in the usual way.

"You certainly have beautiful blonde hair and clear blue eyes, and I like your big breasts too."

"Hey hey, stop casually flirting with me, and it's for the worst possible reason."

We both laugh lightly, hahaha, just like always.

"Even so, it's dangerous if you're not a bit more aware. I'll have Mom and Nae warn you."

"What do you mean? Is there a problem if I'm not aware?"

"It's the way you look. Not only your clothes, but your posture too. When you sit in a chair with one leg crossed, it looks like you are showing what's inside. I'm happy about it, but I don't want others to see it."

It's true that when I sits cross-legged in a big T-shirt and trunks that don't fit my body, the gaps are so big that it looks like he could see a lot of things, how perverted.

But this is my fault. Right now it's Ryo so I don't mind it that much and it's not a problem, but it would be bad if it was someone else.

"Well, if you have TS, that's fine. Come over to my house after you change into something a little better. I'll talk to my family and we can talk about it."

"Really? I have no idea what's appropriate, but that's a relief. I'll head over after I get changed."

And with that, Ryo headed home. I wonder if he had any good ideas.

I washed my face, put on a hoodie and jeans, combed my hair, and headed over to Ryo's house looking reasonably presentable.

It's good that our houses are next door to each other for times like this.