Chapter 15: One Step Away From Despair

One Step Away From Despair

I wonder how much time has passed since I arrived at the tower. The sky is still dark, dominated by the moon. But the sunlight is encroaching in the distance. The sun will rise soon.

Nemuri-chan didn't follow me. Maybe she was stuck somewhere, or maybe she was hiding her presence. If it was the latter, I couldn't let my guard down. However, Asahina-san was faster, so the gap would only get bigger if I put some distance between us.

I wonder where Asahina-san is heading. But there are only a few possible destinations. It's probably her house. If Nemuri-chan follows her... I can't cause any more trouble. I open my mouth.

"It's fine... just leave me alone..."

"That's not good."

"Why?! I said it was okay!"

"Koharu, don't give up."

"Hey, why is Roy here?"

"I'm worried about Koharu. I'm responsible for what happened. Even though I was by her side, I wasn't able to guide her in the right direction..."

I don't know what Roy is to blame for. It's all my fault.

However, I knew that if I said something like that, it would be denied, so I kept quiet.　

Tears sting my eyes and it hurts. I close my eyes tightly to stop the tears. As I close my eyes, the memories of my days with Sumire, stuck in my mind like a curse, come to mind, and I open my eyes in shock. It's time to run away. It seems I can't even face Sumire in my imagination.

All I could do now was keep repeating "I'm sorry" in my mind.

No one wants a cowardly apology, but... I had no choice. It was my own choice.

In an uneasy atmosphere, we arrived at a large detached house. It might be better to call it a mansion rather than a house. Not only this place, but the whole surrounding area seemed to be an upscale residential area.

We stepped onto the balcony and Asahina-san opened the glass window, which was unlocked.

The room was dimly lit, with only moonlight as the only light source, but the pleasant atmosphere was apparent. It was well organized and the furnishings seemed of good quality. One entire wall was covered with shelves, filled with CDs and records.

It's a room where you can see the owner's hobbies at a glance.

There was a semi-double bed in the corner of the room. Asahina-san lowered me down onto the edge, making me sit on it. The cushions were soft and comfortable, but now I was cursing that comfort.

Asahina-san flipped the switch and the room was lit up.

"It's my room."

"..."

I don't have the energy to express my opinion.　

"As you can see, I love music. I also have a lot of magical tools."　

A harp appeared in her hand. I wonder how she'll use it in battle.

Come to think of it, this is the first time I've seen her make a magical tool appear.

Thinking about it, she had always remained neutral whenever there was a turmoil.

Asahina-san is the only one who hasn't attacked anyone, and a feeling of resentment, like misplaced jealousy, begins to grow inside me.　

As I was harboring such dark feelings, Asahina-san began plucking the strings.

A pleasant melody rang out.　

"Well, I'm just a listener, so I'm no good at playing."

Asahina smiles shyly.

However, the sound that came from the harp was very clear, and it had the effect of calming my troubled mind just a little. Somehow, I felt Asahina-san's personality.

Come to think of it, Mitaka-san said earlier that a person's spirituality is reflected in their magical tools.

I see, that seems certain. Asahina-san's cheerfulness and the sound of the magic tool are proof of that.

But what about me?

What's the point of someone who can't even protect the people they care about, and who may even end up hurting them, having a shield as the magical tool?

Is there some mistake with this magical tool?

--Ah, I see.

I'm the "Eighth." I'm sure the rules are different for all the other magical girls.

A cursed being, different from everyone else...

At that moment, Asahina-san's cell phone rang, and I felt my shoulders shake. It was a normal electronic sound, but it sounded terrible after Asahina-san's harp. She answered the call.　

"Yes. --Yes. --Is that so? Yes. I understand."　

She ends the call and turns to face me.

"It seems like things are at a stalemate over there. It's a bit unsettling, but once they do, there's no need to worry about being chased."　

I imagined the members we had left behind in the tower holding Nemuri-chan back, creating an explosive atmosphere. But that image quickly faded away.

There is no need to hold her back, if you think about it realistically. I thought so.

"But... how long will we keep doing this?"

"Eh?"

Asahina-san tilted her head.

It seems she hadn't thought about anything after all.　

"We can't keep Nemuri-chan locked up in the tower forever. You all have your own lives to live, after all..."

"It is……"

"Tell everyone to disperse."

"If we let Nemuri-chan run wild like this, it will be dangerous. Not just to Koharu. There's a risk that she could harm ordinary people as well."

"In that case, it's all the more reason for me to die in her hand!"

Asahina-san was at a loss for words.

Roy came from the side.　

"Don't be so bold as to say that. You should live for Sumire's sake."

"That's right! If Koharu-san dies... I think Sumire-san will be sad too. You were friends... right?"

That's right.

I killed that friend.

That is why my sin is so great.

"I can't take it anymore... I can't bear to live without Sumire. There's no hope left in my life! It would be easier for me if it ended here!"

"Don't despair!"

Roy yelled.

Despair……?　

Those words caught my attention.

Why is that?

I feel like someone once told me...　

"There is no such thing as perfect despair. Just as there is no such thing as perfect writing."　

Yeah... something like that.

When and who?

That's right.

Facing a powerful demon, her best attacks are no match for it, and the first time I ever see she got defeated. I was on the brink of despair and has given up on everything.

Undeterred by despair, Sumire laughed fearlessly.

I admired Sumire for being like that.

But Sumire is no longer here.　

Without Sumire, I can prove that statement.

I'll never be as strong as Sumire.

However, instead of Sumire, Roy was there.

Roy seems to have inherited Sumire's refusal to give up.

Roy said.

"Sumire said that you were the center of the world. That she could do her best because of you. You were her hope."

"I……?"

Why……?

Someone like me...

Sumire is strong.

She could live on her own without me.

Why would Sumire call someone like me her hope?

"Why me...?"

"'Why you?!' I won't allow anyone to say anything bad about someone important to Sumire, even if it's yourself.

You once stood before a demon to protect Sumire, haven't you? You probably don't know how encouraging that was for Sumire, who was fighting alone."

Is that so...?

Was there even a moment when I gave Sumire courage?

Roy, who had been by Sumire's side longer than anyone else, continued.

"You were a hero to Sumire."

It was a shock.

I wonder if this is what happens when you get struck by a huge bolt of lightning... I'm not exaggerating when I say that I was shocked.

The impact was so strong that it almost evaporated the sediment that had been building up in my chest.

Absentminded.

My head unintentionally clears.

Then tears started to flow.

But these were different from the tears I had shed earlier.

It was as if all the resentment was concentrated in that one drop.　

"Sumire... Sumire."　

The memories I had sealed away with her began to flash back to me, not as a curse, but as a memory. Various scenes... studying together in the library, talking about books, cooling off in a cafe, watching her fight... the images flashed by like a slideshow.

But I can't die. No, I shouldn't die. That's not allowed.　

Don't cry.

I sniffled loudly to clear my nose and forcefully wiped away my tears with the sleeve of my shirt.

As Sumire's hero, I have to think about what I can do.

How did Sumire get out of such a difficult situation that day?

"I'll put everything I've got into this"

"I'll use my everything into the next spell."

At that moment, everything I had seen and heard up until then came to the surface in an instant, selected and discarded, and connected into a single line - leading to a single solution.

My meeting with Sumire.

My contract.

The fact that I became the "Eighth."

The power I gained.

Her Compensation Magic.

This was a view that I was able to see for the first time by accepting that there was not a single unnecessary event, good or bad.

--That's right!

I raised my head from my downcast state.　

"Listen, they say life has its ups and downs. If right now is the lowest point in your life, that means it will only get better from here on out. It's too early to give up on everything. No, I'm sorry to say this, but I have to say that it's presumptuous. It's like the pessimistic view of a child trying to act grown up. Yes, you're still young and don't know the world. So right now may feel like everything is here. But there are many more encounters waiting for you in the future. The people who are important to you will appear before you again someday. You say that's just wishful thinking? Haha, that may be true. But wishful thinking is fine. It's far better than despair. Despair is meaningless in the sense that no one can know the future, and it's baseless, so there's not much difference between wishful thinking and despair--"

"That's it!"

I interrupted Roy's pointless lecture, which had been going on and on for some time.

I stand up from the bed and say

"I have a request for you, Asahina-san."

A life-saving move found just before despair.

The hope that Sumire connected us to.

"Oh, your encouragement has reached Koharu-san's heart! Good job, Roy!"

"Eh, is that true!?"

"..."

I was about to say that couldn't be true.

"Magical Girls Killing Each Others" main characters list:

Black - Tachibana Sumire (MC who want to cloud everyone) - Agent: Ryo - Unique Magic: Compensation Magic - Magical Tool: Wires

Pink - Kisaragi Koharu (The original anime MC, 100% all support stats, no offense) - Agent: Rococo - Unique Magic: Recovery Magic - Magical Tool: Shield

Red - Akabane Kaoru (Koharu's childhood friend) - Agent: Ross - Unique Magic: Fire Magic - Magical Tool: Sword

Green - Mitaka Raika (25 years old biker Onee-san who smoke) - Agent: Rod - Unique Magic: Smoke Magic - Magical Tool: Motorcycle

Blonde - Alice (the pretend rich loli girl) - Agent: Rock - Unique Magic: Absorption Magic - Magical Tool: Gun

Orange - Asahina Shio (a real rich girl) - Agent: Loki - Unique Magic: Acceleration Magic - Magical Tool: Music Instruments

Purple - Yuzuriha Yuzuki (tomboy) - Agent: Romeo - Unique Magic: Illusion Magic - Magical Tool: Chain

White - Tengai Nemuri (amnesiac girl) - Agent: Logos - Unique Magic: Time Magic - Magical Tool: Grenades