Chapter 91: All alone, struggling to keep going.

My whole body feels heavy—like I’m wearing clothes soaked through with water. If I let my focus slip for even a second, I’ll probably black out.

“They’re over here! This way!”

“Heh… damn it…”

Move. Just keep moving. If my body won’t obey, then I’ll force it to with whatever I’ve got left.

“Haah…”

The wound on my back is deep. Of course it is—there used to be a bomb embedded there. It exploded. It’s a miracle I’m even alive.

My wrists and ankles are torn raw. For now, I’ve wrapped them with gauze and bandages to stop the bleeding. That should hold me together… for a little while longer.

“Where is she!?”

Did I shake them off somehow? I’m so tired. If I could just close my eyes right now… that would be such a relief.

Even trying to fight like I usually do hurts. Everywhere. Accelerating with the bombs burns through my wounds again—the flames seep right into them. It hurts so much. I don’t want to move anymore.

“You there—! You’re with the Squad, aren’t you!?”

“—Huh?”

But… why? No, I already know the answer.

Even so, if it’s to protect everyone I love… then even with this broken body, strength wells up again. For their sake, this pain and fear mean nothing.

So, I’ll accelerate—with the bombs.

“What are you—ggh!?”

“Don’t you dare… touch my little sister…!”

Red life drips from my body—not the enemy’s. But that doesn’t matter. None of that matters.

Saori, Misaki, Hiyori, Atsuko, Azusa—everyone’s here. Everyone I love.

“Suou!!”

No. I can’t stay here any longer. If I stay in a place this bright… my eyes, used to the light, will never be able to return to the dark again.

Hide it. Get angry. Channel that hostility. Show it all on your face. You’ve done that kind of acting before, haven’t you?

“...Why did you come here?”

Ah… but like this, they might end up hating me.
I… really don’t want that…

The words Suou spoke were merciless—words of rejection. Before Saori or anyone else could respond, Suou cut in quickly, almost to cover up the silence.

“Sensei, what are you doing here? You at least understand this is a dangerous place, don’t you?”

“…”

“Squad—you dragged everyone into danger. Why would you go that far just to come here?”

Her words came out sharp and fast, full of accusation—telling them their choice was wrong.

“You think I’d be happy living off someone else’s sacrifice? If so, you understand nothing. None of you understand anything.”

Her words were strong. Fierce rejection.

“When you lose someone, that’s it. There’s no ‘next time.’ When you die, that’s the end. That’s all there is.”

But slowly, her tone softened—less angry, almost instructive.

“If the word ‘sisters,’ that fake bond you cling to, has become a shackle holding you back—then your little sister act ends here.”

“—!!”

“Don’t ever get involved with me again. You’re a nuisance.”

Without pausing even once, she said it all in a rush—forcing her own view on them, leaving no room for theirs.

“...Hah… haha…!”

“...?”

“Squad, battle formation. You know the saying—‘you can’t cure stupid, even after death’? Well, this one’s worse than that.”

“Worse, yeah. She’s not just stupid—she’s a complete idiot.”

The anger and grief had long since burned away. What remained was only a dry, hollow laugh.

“Wha—!”

“Battle formation.” Those words clearly shook Suou—especially when the Squad immediately obeyed, not a single one questioning it.

“Come to think of it, I’ve never actually beaten you before.”

“True. Well, except when the whole Squad fought together.”

“Perfect. Consider this a handicap—a rematch. I’m gonna punch that face of yours, one by one.”

“W–What are you—”

“Too slow.”

Before Suou could even react, Misaki had already closed the distance, right in front of her. Even half-dead, a monster like her could still follow her movements.

“Didn’t you always tell us? Never let your guard down in front of the enemy?”

“Guh—!”

What began wasn’t a fight with guns or bombs—just a raw, physical brawl. Not even a real fight, more like the continuation of a childish scuffle.

“Suou. You know, you’re always saying things you can’t actually follow through on. Like just now.”

“…”

“You said not to get involved anymore. But wasn’t it you who forced us into your world in the first place?”

In that brief, ten-second exchange, Misaki poured in all the words she hadn’t been able to say before—each one thrown alongside her fists.

“I used to hate myself.”

Her thoughts drifted to the past, polishing each memory as she spoke.

“I hated being powerless. I hated that when Saori tried to take everything on herself, I couldn’t do anything to help.”

“Th–That’s—”

“Oh, don’t. I’m not looking for sympathy.”

She cut off Suou’s words with a leg sweep, knocking her down.

“I couldn’t do anything. I was useless.”

“Gah—!”

“But that changed. Ever since that crazy woman showed up calling herself my sister.”

Straddling Suou, she pinned her arms down. Their eyes met—Misaki’s dull but burning gaze pressing into her.

“Even Saori must’ve realized she couldn’t handle everything alone. When she asked me to fight alongside her—that was the first time anyone ever said that to me.”

The study session with Atsuko and Hiyori. The moment their screams echoed, and she rushed to save them. The time she fought to help them escape from Suou.

“I was happy. Because I wasn’t powerless after all. Saori relied on me when it mattered. For the first time, I thought maybe… I could like myself, even just a little.”

That was the first time Saori had ever clearly asked Misaki for help.

“And now look at you. Once again, someone I care about is trying to bear everything alone… somewhere I can’t reach.”

“…”

“...Just once… let me like myself, okay?”

Her eyes glistened as she raised her trembling fist high.

“Wake up… you idiot…!”

With weak, almost pitiful strength, her punch landed softly on Suou’s cheek—a small smack more than a hit.

“All right, next—Hiyori!”

“E–Eh?! Y-Yes, ma’am!!”

Misaki flung Suou toward Hiyori, who yelped and scrambled to catch her. Suou struggled, but Hiyori held her down with surprising firmness.

“I–I’m weak!!”

“...What?”

The sudden confession caught Suou off guard. Her calm mask cracked.

“M-Maybe everyone will say that’s not true… b-but! I really am weak!”

Even so, Hiyori forced the words out—each one trembling but sincere. Suou couldn’t help but listen. (Setting aside the obvious—someone who carries that huge pack everywhere can’t possibly be weak.)

“I don’t have the stamina everyone else does… I’m short, and my weight—no, that’s definitely off-limits…! My knowledge too—I’m lacking in everything. I’m full of complexes…”

“Hiyo…”

“S-So that’s why! If no one protects me, I’ll die right away!!”

Repeated words of self-denial—until suddenly, her tone changed.

“I’ve always been protected! Always, by someone! E-even now, it’s the same! S–Suou-san… Suou-san, you’re one of those people who protect me…!!”

“...!!”

“I can’t say something strong like ‘Now it’s my turn to protect you’... b-but! If you die too soon, I won’t be able to live long either!!”

They were selfish words—but honest ones. She lacked confidence in herself, yet had absolute faith in others. Faith in someone she could trust.

And because of that, she could also trust the version of herself that was precious to that person.

“I don’t want to lose anyone who believes in me…! S-so, for that—!! Even if I’m powerless, I’ll do what I can!! S–Suou-san!! Please stop!!”

“Guh—!”

Her fist landed with far more force than Misaki’s earlier one. She probably hadn’t known how to hold back—typical of someone so bad at judging herself. Feeling the pain shoot through her, Suou found herself thinking just that.

“A–Atsuko-chan!”

“Leave it to me.”

As if passing a baton, Hiyori stepped back, and Atsuko came forward. Suou, swaying on her feet, took a clumsy, broken stance.

But seeing that, Atsuko didn’t raise her guard at all.

“...Don’t push yourself.”

She gently caught Suou’s collapsing body, wrapping her arms around her as if to cradle her whole being.

“...Suou… I’ve known since I was little that I wasn’t supposed to live long. You know that, don’t you?”

“...”

“So I never learned about the world. I thought there was no point in knowing.”

She whispered softly beside Suou’s ear, as if soothing her while she struggled. Gradually, Suou’s resistance weakened.

“But then, people came who changed that. Sa-chan, and everyone else.”

Atsuko’s grip tightened, holding her close so she couldn’t escape.

“There was so much I didn’t know. The world was dazzling—sparkling everywhere I looked. Even words, just simple words, were beautiful. But then, all of it was taken from me.”

That day—the mask she received from Beatrice, and the orders that came with it. Even now, that memory still gnawed at Atsuko’s heart.

“But there was someone who shattered all that. Someone rough, reckless—honestly, probably even more dangerous than me.”

At the word “dangerous,” Suou’s struggling flared slightly again, though it didn’t amount to much.

“Thanks to that person, my world opened up again. From that day, I finally began to live. …I have two big sisters. Saori-neesan and Suou-neesan. Both of them taught me something precious. Both showed me the light.”

She had lived only to die. Day after day, just waiting for the end. But that was changed—forcefully, unmistakably changed.

By the hands of those two who were as dear as real sisters.

“That’s why, if someone I care about is trapped in the dark… I’ll save them. No matter what. Because that’s what the people I look up to always did. …Wherever you are, I’ll come for you. Just like back then.”

“...”

No more punches—only a tender hand cupping Suou’s cheek, stroking it softly. That was all. As if to say: I’ve done my part.

“Azusa.”

“Yeah.”

What little resistance Suou had left was faint—barely enough to be called resistance at all. Her body barely moved.

Still, knowing this idiot, Azusa thought it might just be another trick—to make her drop her guard. So she held Suou firmly, using all the strength she had.

“Suou. Honestly, up until a moment ago, I probably would’ve made the same choice as you.”

“...”

“I understand how you feel—how you don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Those were words only Azusa could say. Not long ago, she’d tried to push Hifumi and the others away, just like Suou was doing now.

“But, Suou… that was a mistake. In the end, I just ended up hurting everyone anyway. You’re doing the same thing right now.”

Her tone was calm—gentle, yet unflinching. Her denial carried the warmth of empathy.

“I’ve been told my face doesn’t show emotion, so I’ll just say this clearly. I’m hurt. Deeply hurt. I’m sad. And I’m angry. If you won’t understand unless I say it, then I’ll say it.”

Those words struck deeper than anything else—straight into Suou’s heart.

“Suou. Fight with us. It’s okay. Don’t be afraid. There’s nothing to fear, because… we’re your comrades. Your friends. Your sisters.”

Azusa gave her a light punch.

“I… can’t.”

“...Huh?”

They were words that should’ve brought comfort—yet to Suou, they tore everything open.

“I can’t do it…! I don’t want anyone to die…! But they will… they’ll all die…!”

“—!”

For Suou, those words dragged her true feelings—raw and unhidden—out into the open.

“It’s my fault…!! Mine—mine… it’s all my fault…!! Everyone… everyone, everyone…!! They all died…!! I made them die…!!”

Gone was the composed “older sister” Suou. What remained was a fragile, broken girl who looked ready to shatter at a touch. Even her tears seemed like blades, cutting painfully through the air.

“No more… I don’t want anyone else to die…!! Please, stop… run away… go back…!!”

Her memories tangled together—the past and the present blurring into one. It was unclear if she could even see what was right in front of her anymore.

All she could do was force that tiny, trembling body to bear the crushing fear of loss.

“No more… I don’t want anyone… to be with me…”

“...Suou. I don’t know what happened in your past.”

Saori grabbed the thrashing Suou and held her tight.

“Let go of me…!! Let go!!”

“Guh—hah! Compared to how you usually are, this is almost cute…!!”

Suou slammed her fist into Saori’s back, knocking the air out of her lungs. “Cute,” she called it—but a normal student without training would’ve been out cold. Saori clenched her teeth, enduring the pain as her ribs groaned.

“Why can’t you understand…!?”

“Understand!? You never told us a damn thing!! If you want me to understand, then tell me something real!! If you do that, maybe I’ll understand just a fingertip’s worth!!”

“...!”

“I’ll say it again!! I don’t know what’s in your past!! But Suou—!!”

Suddenly, Saori’s voice rose—strong and fierce.
Suou’s mind, regressed and vulnerable, flinched in fear.

“No matter who you are—!! Even if you’ve killed someone—!! You’re still our sister!! You’re still precious to us!!”

“That’s… that’s not…”

“Don’t you dare think you can just walk away now!! Whether it was a lie or not, you were the one who refused to let us be alone in the first place!! That’s everything you’ve done for us, Suou!!”

They were unreasonable words—unreasonably kind words.
At least, that’s how they felt to Suou right now.

“You let someone die…!? Then I swear to you—!! We won’t die!! I won’t let anyone die!! You’re the one who told us that—!! You told us not to give up!!”

“U… ah…!”

“You’ve done enough already…! You fought harder than anyone—!! Thanks to you, we were saved!! So please, for once—!! Just forgive yourself already!! Kirihana Suou!!!”

Saori grabbed Suou by the collar and drove her fist into Suou’s face.

A punch with no restraint—none at all.
It shattered the mask Suou had built for herself so easily… yet it was a gentle punch.

Struck by it, she could no longer stand. All she could do was wait for the tears to stop.

“Hah… hah…! Did that get through to you at all, you stubborn idiot…!”

“……”

Saori reached out a hand to her.

No matter what Suou was, to her, she was still a sister.
The Kirihana Suou she knew was that kind of person.

Who am I, really?
To Suou, what does “I”—what do “I” mean?
In some way, the answer to that question was now standing right before her.

“...Thank you, everyone.”

“...Let’s go home, Suou.”

Suou reached out a hand toward Saori.

“But… it’s no good anymore.”

With those words, she seized Saori by the neck—using the bomb hidden in her sleeve—and detonated it.

“Gah—! Kha…!”

“Suou!!”

“I’m sorry… I’m going to hurt all of you.”

Saori collapsed, her neck injured. Suou snatched the shotgun and hair rope from her, then turned and fired toward Azusa, who was trying to cut off her escape.

“Come, Justina Council of Saints.”

Not even the voices of Saori, Misaki, Hiyori, Atsuko, or Azusa could reach her anymore.

“I can’t… go back anymore.”

Suou had already crossed a line she could never return from.
Ten years of obsession and resentment had boiled down into something irreversible.

“I’ll only bring everyone trouble.”

And on top of that, she had become one of the key figures standing against the Eden Treaty.

“I… I know that better than anyone…”

“Yeah… and that’s exactly why… I can’t let you die. I can’t lose you.”

Because even now, they still tried to save her.
Because even now, they still called her their sister.
Because even knowing what she’d done, they said they’d accept her.
And that—was exactly why she couldn’t accept it.

Because she was their older sister.

“Thank you. Truly… that’s all I can say. I’m probably the happiest person in the world, you know? Because I wasn’t alone… because you were all there.”

“Suou…!”

Saori reached out to grab her leg—but Suou dodged and moved deeper inside.
She opened a door and tossed a bomb upward.

Only seconds remained.

“You all are… the pride of my life.
You are the proof that I lived.
The meaning of my birth.”

“Wait—!!”

The bomb exploded midair.
The Justina Council of Saints held them back, their hands only inches away—unable to reach her.

“I love you all. Goodbye.”

The ceiling collapsed.
Suou’s form vanished beneath the rubble.
They couldn’t reach her.
Their words—hadn’t reached her.

“Chase her!! There’s still time!!”

“No… if we take on the Justina Council of Saints here, she’ll—”

That’s right. They couldn’t reach Suou.
Not by themselves.

“Sensei!! Please—go after her!!!”

“...!!”

“We’ll handle things here!! I know it’s selfish to ask, but—please!! That’s all we can do now!! Our words alone… just weren’t enough!!”

Before Sensei could even glance toward the blocked doorway—

“Haaah!! Ngh—!”

He clenched the bomb in his hand and struck the rubble, breaking through.
Just barely—he made a gap big enough for one person to crawl through, scraping and forcing their way inside.

“...No. Your words did reach her. That’s why— I’ll bring her back. I promise. Just wait a little longer.”

“Yeah… we’re counting on you!!”

Even so—they could still reach her.
Because they could rely on others.
Because they could ask for help, instead of struggling alone.
Because they could lean on someone else.

And so, they would reach her—
the girl who had fought alone all this time.

"...I love you. Goodbye."

I wave my hand.
The rocks fall.
I turn away—don’t look back.
I mustn’t look back. If I do, I’ll never be able to move forward again.

"..."

Alone. My footsteps echo.
Almost all the teachers are down.
All that’s left... is to kill Beatrice.

Once I do that, it’s over. That will be my victory.
Then everyone else will be free—free from me, a criminal beyond saving, and free from Beatrice.
They’ll reconcile with Trinity.
Step by step, they’ll move forward.
They’ll live, live, and live—enjoying their blue season.
Go beyond.
To the place I could never reach.
Strong. Proud.

"..."

I open the doors of the Old Cathedral.
A familiar red figure stands before me.

"...You are... no, I suppose there’s no need for words, is there?"

"Yeah, Beatrice. This story started with the two of us. So let’s end it—together."

For that to happen... both you and I have to disappear.

"The story those girls will live from now on is a tale of youth—Blue Archive.
It’s finally, finally beginning.
Their story.
A story that must never be tainted by our hands."

A bomb in my right hand.
I don’t know how much longer my body will move.
As long as I can live long enough to kill her—that’s enough.

"...I can’t begin to comprehend you."

"Figures. I can’t understand your feelings either."

That’s why... I’ll kill her.
That’s enough.
That’s right.
I’m not wrong.

──I don’t want to die.

Then what else am I supposed to do?
Is there any other way?
If I live, I’ll only drag everyone down.
There’s no turning back anymore.

──I don’t want to die.

It’s for everyone’s happiness.
There’s nothing painful about it, right?
Nothing to suffer over, right?

──I don’t want to die.

This life already died once.
It’s fine.
I’m just returning to where I belong.

──I don’t want to die.

Shut up.

──I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.

"...Shut... up."

Even so—there’s no other choice.

"...Hahaha..."

I pull the bomb behind my back.
Beatrice’s expression twists—her guard rises sharply.

"Suou!!!"

"!—"

But my body... doesn’t move.

"......"

Don’t turn around.
Don’t you dare turn around.
Never. If you do, you’ll never be able to go back.
Why... why did you come here?
The battle’s about to begin!
Go back. Go back and protect everyone.
I’ll die—that’s fine.
It has to be this way.
Otherwise, nothing can be undone.
Drive him away. Reject him. Don’t turn around.

"...Sensei..."

Why? Why would you go that far...
Why would you go so far for me?

"......"

Why am I... why am I saying this?
I’m not supposed to say things like that.
I’m not supposed to want anything anymore.
So why... why am I turning around?

"Help me... Sensei..."

"Leave it to me."

Why... why do I still reach out for that?