Chapter 95: Up to Now, and Beyond

Seventeen years since I came to this world. I don’t think I’ve had a single night of proper sleep. I was always afraid—of death, of domination, of never knowing when either would come.

No matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I pretended to be fine, my whole body felt frozen. So cold it made me sick. I kept putting on a brave face, lying to myself.

But somehow, this time… it’s different. I can feel my body swaying slightly. Through the fabric against my skin, I sense warmth—heartbeat against heartbeat. I’m not alone. Someone else is here, someone who shares the same fragile miracle of being alive.

That alone was enough. I didn’t have any nightmares. I felt… at peace.

But after a while, I heard a voice. Nasally, trembling—like someone on the verge of tears. A voice I knew well. A voice that had always stayed by my side.

I thought, vaguely, that I couldn’t leave them alone. So I forced my heavy body to move, fighting through the weight in the air.

I tried reaching for the surface, but right before I could, I slipped and fell again. After all that effort to climb up, I was sinking—faster and faster.

Maybe this is it. Maybe I really can’t make it this time.

And then—

"…?"

Something warm, yet cold at the same time, pressed against my back.

Before I could even question it, my hand broke through the surface. Something—or someone—grabbed hold.

---

"Wake up already… Suou…"

That hand was still warm. My eyes flickered open for the first time in what felt like forever, light stinging my vision. My consciousness drifted in and out.

"…Saori?"

Clean sheets. Soft blankets. I hadn’t felt anything like that in over a decade. It didn’t feel suffocating—more like being wrapped in snow.

"…!! Suou!!"

"Wh-whoa, wait…!"

She hugged me tightly—so tightly I could barely breathe. I thought about pushing her away, but… it didn’t feel bad.

"Thank goodness… thank goodness you’re okay…"

She was trembling so hard. I mustered all the strength I had left and hugged her back.

"Ouch…"

"Ah—sorry… I lost control for a second."

Where even is this? I don’t remember any place like this in Arius. Everything’s white, spotless. Even my clothes are different… there’s air conditioning… wait, air conditioning? What even was that again?

"Saori… when did Arius get electricity?"

"You’re still half out of it. How much do you remember?"

"How much…? Up to when you said you ‘love your big sister’ the most?"

"Never mind, you’re not just dazed—you’re delirious."

Something about her tone felt off. Or maybe it’s me.

"Saori… where are we?"

"This is Aomori Mine’s hideout. Inside the Trinity Autonomous Zone."

Trinity… right, Trinity… wait—Trinity!?

"…?"

That can’t be right. Beatrice would never allow that—!

"Wh—what about everyone else!?"

It hit me all at once. The plan, the operation. If we carried it out… then why am I still alive—no, that’s not it—

"Calm down. They’re safe. They evacuated to Millennium. No one’s hurt."

"…I see. That’s… good."

Right. I failed to kill Beatrice… and everyone had to save me.

"For now, don’t worry about anything. Just rest… hey, what are you doing? Why are you hiding under the blanket?"

"N-no reason!"

I couldn’t face her. I didn’t know what kind of expression to make, or what to say—or even where to start. I’d rejected them again and again, only to reach out for help when it suited me. And in the end, I’d just… given up.

───“That isn’t weakness.”

…Maybe. Maybe it isn’t. That’s what Sensei said—no, wait. That’s not the point. I think… the reason I can’t look Saori in the eyes right now isn’t because of guilt. It’s just an excuse.

"Um, Saori?"

"…What is it?"

"Ah… no, it’s… nothing, really…"

How do I even talk to her now? After everything I’ve done, she must know. About who I really am.

Should I speak as me, or as her? Which one does Saori want to hear? Which one would she… accept?

"Suou. We made a promise, remember?"

"…?"

"No matter who you are, we’ll accept you. So stop torturing yourself over it."

"…!"

She saw right through me. Honestly, she always has.

"My little sister grows up so fast, doesn’t she…"

"—!? T-that’s the part you focus on!? Well… I don’t mind, but still!"

"Haha…"

At this point, I don’t think there’s even a “which one” anymore. Both are me. Both are true.

And… I got to see that cute, flustered look on Saori’s face again, so I’m fine with that.

"Well, this is how I’ve talked for a while now… so I’ll stick with it for a bit longer."

"…Alright."

She looked like she wanted to say more but stopped herself.

"Sorry. There’s a lot to talk about, I know, but first I need to contact the others. I’ll bring them here."

"The others?"

"Misaki, Azusa, Atsuko, and Hiyori. They’re all here. Everyone’s been worried sick about you."

"…I see. Alright."

Saori quietly left the room, and I was alone again. I watched condensation drip down the inside of a clear IV bag, the droplets tracing along the tube down to my arm. It didn’t feel necessary anymore, so I pulled the needle out.

My wrists and back had nearly healed. The poison had cleared out too. My head was clear. I didn’t feel sick anymore.

"…"

Tick, tick. The sound of the wall clock filled the empty room. It echoed so loudly it almost hurt my ears.

What happened after that? What happens now? Aimless thoughts spun in my head, mixing with faint echoes of phantom voices.

"…It’s lonely."

A few seconds after Saori left, I realized that.

"Everyone…"

I stepped out of the room. It was a corner room—only one way to go. So I spotted Saori right away. At that distance, I could catch up easily.

"Saori!"

But I was afraid that if I waited even a moment, she’d disappear again. So I called out, running to her.

"Wha—!? Y-you…!"

"I’m coming with you!"

"No, get back to your room—wait, h-hey, let go! You’re way too strong!?"

Haha, Saori. Even if you’ve gotten stronger, trying to pry off your big sister, the greatest mystic of Arius? You’re seventeen years too early for that.

"And where did your IV and bandages go!?"

"They were in the way, so I took them off!"

"You idiot!!"

I mean, the wounds are already healed… Anyway, how long has it been? Judging by experience, even injuries like that should heal in two or three days at most, so it’s been at least that long—

"Hey, Saori, what’s with all the noise? What’s going—"

"Ah, Misaki! Good morning!"

Still clinging to Saori’s back, I looked up as Misaki stepped out of a side room. Behind her, I saw Azusa, Hiyori, and Atsuko too. The whole squad was here.

"…A week."

"Huh?"

"A week. You were asleep for a week, Suou."

A whole week… no wonder Saori reacted like that.

"You know, humans have limits to how long they can sleep."

"R-right…"

Wait—that’s something I told her once, isn’t it?

"Anything longer than that is unconsciousness. If it lasts more than a few minutes, you never know when—or if—you’ll wake up again. And even if you do, there might be lasting damage."

"Y-yes… understood loud and clear."

I had a feeling that if I said anything else, she’d shoot me with her sidearm on the spot.

"…Don’t make us wait like that again."

Ah… I see.

"I’m sorry for worrying you."

I really did make them worry more than I realized.

"Go on in. Everyone’s waiting."

"Okay!"

Invited by the ever-stubborn Misaki, I entered the room. It was a large, shared space, with proper bedding set up for everyone. The signs of use were clear—meaning they’d all been sleeping properly, in safety. That alone was a relief.

"Sa-chan, is it your shift already? Hold on, Azusa’s just about to break her high score—"

Atsuko, who had been peeking over Azusa’s shoulder at her phone, froze mid-sentence and turned toward me. Her round eyes went even wider.

"Uh… g-good morning, Atsuko. Everyone."

I greeted them softly. Azusa, in the middle of matching up little Peroro icons on her screen, looked up at my voice—her eyes flicking two, three times in disbelief. Hiyori’s did the same, widening in silent surprise.

"Suou…?"

The triumphant game music filled the otherwise silent room. The screen blinked Time Up, announcing that the high score had gone unbroken.

"Y-yeah. It’s your big sister… or, uh, something like that…"

Unable to bear the silence, I blurted out a joke. I half-expected Atsuko to scold me for treating her like a little sister again, but that didn’t happen.

Step by step, Atsuko walked toward me. She wasn’t wearing her usual mask, yet I still couldn’t read her expression. Her loungewear looked surprisingly cute, though.

"Um… you’re angry, right…?"

No reply. She just closed the distance between us, her face still unreadable.

"Ah, um, Atsuko, look, I know I was wrong, so please don’t hit me too har—ah!?"

She grabbed my hand. Her touch was cool—soothing, even—against my overheated, freshly-awakened body.

"I was scared. Really scared. I thought you were going to die, Suou."

I finally saw her eyes. Her face didn’t move much, but it wasn’t emotionless either. The right word for it would be serious.

"…I’m sorry."

"It’s fine. I forgive you. You’re alive, after all."

With that, Atsuko’s expression softened into a slack, almost silly smile—something rare for her, whose face hardly ever showed emotion.

"But."

Just as I relaxed, Atsuko suddenly let go of my hand and stepped aside. Azusa and Hiyori were standing right there, having approached without a sound.

"What about you two?"

"…W-wow."

Azusa’s face was calm as ever, but Hiyori’s eyes… were terrifying.

"…Suou, good morning. Are you in any pain?"

"Um… no, I’m fine."

"That’s good. I have a lot I could say, but… I think you already understand most of it."

Azusa let me off easy. Honestly, I’d braced myself to be punched, but apparently, that wasn’t necessary.

"I tried to do the same thing once. The same thing you did, Suou… to Hifumi and the others."

"…"

"Mika once said we were alike. I guess she wasn’t wrong."

Azusa gave a small, awkward smile, looking just a little embarrassed.

"So… let’s both make sure we never repeat the same mistake. Let’s start doing what we can—so we don’t have to repeat it. For what comes next."

"…Yeah. Thanks, Azusa."

The restless wings behind her drooped loosely, completely relaxed now. Their soft feathers looked so fine that I instinctively reached out to touch them.

"That’s not something you’re allowed to do."

Azusa dodged my hand with a look of pure disgust. Ouch. That hurts, you know—big sister’s feelings.

I tried to cover it up with a forced joke—but the sharp gazes stabbing into me made it hard to breathe. Two pairs of them… though one had a very different air about it.

"S-Suou-san…"

Hiyori’s normally droopy eyebrows were now sharply angled. It looked awkward, like she wasn’t used to expressing anger—but it was probably the best she could do.

"I-I don’t know if I have any right to say this, but… I… I’m actually… mad! I haven’t been this irritated in ages!!"

"!"

Her voice cracked as she shouted, but she didn’t look away—her visible eye locked on me with unwavering focus.

"…S-sorry, I’m sorry! I spoke out of turn…!"

But her limit must have hit soon after, because she quickly reverted to her usual teary, apologetic self.

"B-but still!! To me, that was serious, and… and if it happens again, I can’t take it! So please don’t do that anymore!"

I wondered what exactly she couldn’t take—getting angry again, the emotional strain, or something else entirely. Whatever it was, I’d clearly forced Hiyori into something she wasn’t used to.

"…I’m sorry, Hiyori."

"N-no, I-I’m the one who’s sorry…!"

Hiyori crouched down, clutching her stomach like she was overwhelmed by stress. I knelt beside her, gently rubbing her back until she calmed down.

"Suou. Just to confirm—your body really is fine, right?"

"Yup! See?"

To reassure Saori, I gave a little hop and grabbed onto one of the ceiling fixtures. My loose, airy clothes fluttered annoyingly, but otherwise I felt perfectly fine—better than fine, even. No nausea, no tightness in my throat, just clear, refreshing breaths. My whole body felt light.

"Fit as can be! I’m in perfect condition!"

"That can’t be true. You’re an idiot."

Just as I landed neatly on my feet, the door opened. A pair of large, familiar animal ears appeared.

"Seia-san!"

"Hello, Kirihana Suou. It’s been a while—since our meeting in that dream."

Thank goodness. Seia made it out of that world safely too.

That strange, pure-white student… I never even learned her name. She’d been another unpredictable factor. But at least one worry was gone now.

"Yurizono Seia. What brings you here…?"

"Call it intuition… or maybe a hunch. I had a feeling the girl whose actions even my precognition couldn’t foresee would soon awaken."

"Seia-san… so, your foresight…?"

Seia’s ability to see the future—lost for reasons unknown. It seemed that hadn’t changed, even in this world.

"It’s fine. That power was always more than I deserved. Besides… I don’t need it anymore."

Seia smiled softly, her expression bright and free, as though she’d already found her answer.

"Now then. Your awakening is a joyous thing—something worth celebrating—but I’d appreciate it if you also understood that the reality we face doesn’t allow us much time for that."

"…Yes. I understand."

Following her gesture, I sat down opposite her in the chair at the center of the room.

"Good. I’m grateful you’re so quick to grasp and accept that. Let’s talk about what’s happened—and what comes next."

What comes next. Arius and Trinity… and the great criminal who threw all of Kivotos into unprecedented chaos. That’s what Seia wanted to discuss.

"That said, I should first explain what’s happened up to now. The events of the week you spent asleep."

"…Alright. Please go ahead."

"No need to be so formal… Let’s see. I’ll start with your sisters."

Sensing my unease, Seia began with them.

"They’ve been evacuated to Millennium Science School for now. While the Justice Realization Committee and others have cast suspicious eyes on them—given that their whereabouts were unknown and they may have been manipulated—it’s not a topic people are eager to bring up."

"…"

I see. If that’s the case… then I can at least feel a little relieved.

Beatrice… and those Gematria bastards—they won’t be able to make a move that easily inside the prestigious Millennium District. Still, Millennium, huh…

"When we carried out your rescue, I brought Mine over to our side. But the fact is, we couldn’t have managed without Abydos’s help. To secure their cooperation, I had to explain the situation. In truth, they’d have preferred your sisters take shelter elsewhere if possible."

"I see…"

That much I’d already expected. Especially Hoshino and Shiroko—they’re not the kind to just accept things quietly.

"Anyway, setting that aside. Thanks to their help, we succeeded in rescuing you, and the Arius District has now been brought under control—by the Justice Realization Committee, along with support from the Disciplinary Committee, plus the Council of Saints and the teachers."

"The Council of Saints too…"

Well, between the Disciplinary Committee and the Justice Realization Committee—that basically means Hina and Tsurugi. Yeah… there’s no way anyone could win against that combination. But that does make me wonder…

"What happened to the Council of Saints? Those things were supposed to revive even if you defeated them, weren’t they?"

"Ah, about that. The final orders given to them were your capture—and the teacher’s death. Since neither succeeded, and now that she—Beatrice—is gone, it seems they no longer have an infinite power source to sustain them. They disappeared after a while."

"I see…"

Good. If something like that had remained in the world, even the people of Kivotos wouldn’t have enough lives to survive it.

"As for the teachers’ fate, I’ll leave that to the others. Is that acceptable to you all?"

"…"

"Yeah, no objections from us."

I looked back at everyone, and with a small nod, agreed. It seemed we all felt the same.

Among the teachers were those old extremists from ten years ago. I didn’t feel any sympathy. Not sympathy… but neither did I feel hatred.

"Good. That helps a lot. Now then… everyone will return to their respective places for now. The Tea Party and Pandemonium Society will handle the cleanup—mainly discussions about the future of the Eden Treaty. It looks like they’ll reach a consensus to suspend it for now."

"Well, that makes sense…"

I mean, I’m hardly one to talk after wrecking the whole thing myself. But as Mika said, there’s a limit to how much you can control individual will through regulation. Honestly, if deterrence actually worked, Hina wouldn’t have to struggle so much in the first place.

"I’ve also shown my face here and there—to let them know I’m still alive. I can’t remain a bystander anymore; it seems someone dragged me out from behind the curtain."

"Haha… that’s kind of violent…"

"I’d say it’s an apt description, honestly."

With a slightly nihilistic smile, she hid countless meanings behind her words and declared, in her calm way, that I was “violent.” It didn’t sit right with me.

"…And now, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, the biggest issue is your situation."

"…"

"Gehenna—Pandemonium Society—hasn’t taken an active stance on it. Rather, when it comes to matters involving Arius’s branch, it’ll be Trinity and the Tea Party who handle it."

Yeah, I knew that. I spread too much information—told too many people. I’d already accepted that when I made that choice.

"Depending on how it goes, the treatment of the Arius Branch will change. If you’re judged to be a true villain, then the branch will be seen as victims. Your sisters will be free to live openly in the light of day. But if not… things may become difficult."

If the one believed to be the source of everything wasn’t truly at fault…

"If only some trace of Beatrice remained, it would’ve been simple. But she covered her tracks perfectly. I have to admit—even I can’t match her there."

When the true culprit no longer exists… where does all that hatred go? Where will the resentment be directed?

"Let me be blunt, Kirihana Suou—you’ve made too many enemies."

The most suspicious person still alive. And those who would defend her. Me… and my sisters.

"If you’re caught, you’ll either be sent to the Correction Bureau or detained by Trinity. In either case, your treatment won’t be pleasant. But your sisters will likely be spared."

Seia spoke the truth calmly—and she was right. That’s how it should be.

"…So tell me, what will you do? What will you choose?"

I thought so too. That’s why… if that’s the case, then I—

If that’s how it is, then I don’t mind staying in the shadows. As long as I can believe the light truly exists somewhere out there…

"…?"

Just as I was about to say it, Saori silently placed her hand on my shoulder. The gentle pull made me stop mid-sentence.

"Ah…"

So many words flashed through my mind. Memories kept crossing my thoughts.

"…Seia. I… I still think the best solution… is for me to be captured. That’s the way for everything to settle peacefully."

"…I suppose so."

The grip on my shoulder tightened. I wanted to tell her I was moving too fast, but… I couldn’t. So I stayed quiet and let it continue.

"…But… bu-but… I… I still…"

I’m scared.

"I… I…"

Scared. Scared, scared, scared.

So selfish, so self-centered. Leaving everything to others, blaming others. A repetition of that time—again, I… again, I…

───“Rely on someone.”

"…"

But there were people who affirmed that. People who told me it was okay.

───“We won’t die!! We won’t let you die!!”

"…I…"

People who promised to live with me, without reason, without doubt.

───“…I’ll be sad, you know?”

People who forced me to accept that it had to be this way.

"Ev…even so… I wa-want to… be with everyone…"

Because of that, without realizing it, my mouth had already formed the words.

"…I see."

"Ah, so—"

"No need to apologize. That choice, to begin with, was essentially nonexistent for me anyway."

Seia said it casually, as if it had already been decided. After telling me so many things, it felt unreasonable—and yet somehow fitting.

"To be honest, if you had chosen to be alone, things would’ve gotten more complicated. But it’s fine. That’s your choice, right, Kirihana Suou?"

Seia double-checked, almost for emphasis. Her gaze moved to everyone else.

Seriously, this woman… still saying things like that. I could pick up the nuance clearly with my finely tuned hearing.

"…"

Somehow, all my worries seemed ridiculous. Yet I was still scared. But it’s okay. So many people risked their lives to tell me so.

"Yes."

I decided to try living. I want to live—together with everyone.

"…I see. That’s good. We’ve been operating under that assumption, after all."

"Uh…?"

"In two days, a discussion about you and Arius’s treatment will be held at Trinity. You’ll participate as well."

"Eh…?"

Wait a second—this is so sudden, I can’t keep up.

"You must prove your innocence yourself. That’s where the discussion starts—specifically, about Arius’s treatment."

"Wa-wait! You can’t just…!!"

I’m supposed to be seen as a pretty bad guy, right…?

"Relax. Not that many people will attend. There’ll be some precautionary measures, of course… but if you’re asking whether trust can be established… Mine. What do you think? From your perspective, is she trustworthy?"

Seia called Mine’s name, and she entered from outside the window. Wait—since when was she there?

"I apologize for having to eavesdrop. But otherwise, I feared my presence would have been noticed."

She brushed the concrete dust off her hands. My confusion deepened.

"If I speak based on my own judgment… at least for now, I don’t believe she’s acting with malice or deception."

"See, that’s one piece of evidence right there."

"…But—"

"Don’t you want to stay with your sisters?"

I was suddenly struck to the core.

"If you want it, then accept it. Don’t worry, it won’t turn out badly. After all, Mika, I, and even Sensei will be present."

"…"

Everything had been prepared. The space arranged so I wouldn’t be left alone. Brought to this point.

"…Understood. I’ll do it."

Then, I want to respond to that.

"Good."

Satisfied, Seia closed her eyes and nodded. She looked back once more. Everyone was watching, relieved and smiling.

They all saved me. Seeing that, I felt it even more strongly.

"…Saori. Misaki. Azusa. Atsuko. Hiyori… thank you."

"Don’t mention it. We did it because we wanted to. We always will."

Saori answered as if it were nothing significant. Seeing that, I couldn’t stand still any longer.

"Then, I’ll start preparing now—"

"Do you think I’ll allow that?"

The moment I stood, Mine grabbed my collar.

"…Huh?"

Wait—her strength is incredible. I can’t pull away.

"You need proper rest. You don’t seem to understand your body’s condition. A guided care intervention is required."

"W-wait a second!?"

No matter how hard I struggled, it wasn’t enough. I was dragged back toward the hospital room I came from.

"Suou…"

"Ev…everyone!"

"Reasonable. Go on."

"What!?"

I had no choice but to leave the room, escorted by everyone.