Chapter 53: The Beautiful Girl, Alone with Her Mother

When I woke up, the sun was already sinking low in the sky.

My head felt clear and light. The fever had mostly subsided, and my body felt refreshed. It had been a long time since I’d woken up feeling this good.

Thanks to Ryoji for listening to me, the haze that had been clouding my heart finally seemed to lift.

I’d been so fixated on whether I was a boy or a girl—convinced that choosing one meant erasing the other. Even though both were me, I treated them like two separate people. My gender might have changed, but I’m still the same person. And people naturally change as they grow.

It’s not that I shouldn’t fear change, but I realized I’d been changing all along—without even noticing. And when I thought about it, I didn’t feel bad about that at all. If that’s the case, then rather than trying to resist it, it’s better to just accept what comes naturally—and become a girl.

It’s such a simple truth. Yet, if I’d kept worrying alone, I might have stayed trapped in that loop forever. I’m really grateful to Ryoji.

Well, that doesn’t mean I’ve fallen for him or anything! I’m sure he was just teasing anyway.

Now then...

I have to talk to Mom. I’ll tell Dad and Kaname too, of course—but Mom should be first.

Ever since I became a girl, she’s been doting on me even more than before. Actually, my whole family has! It’s a weird mix of happiness and awkwardness.

But... what does she really think deep down? Her son suddenly became her daughter—there’s no way that didn’t stir something inside her. Maybe she’s been secretly wishing I’d turn back into a boy. Maybe what I’m about to say will go completely against her hopes. Even so, I have to tell her.

Because she’s family, I want her to understand how I intend to live. And if possible... I want her to accept it.

I got out of bed.

Even though I’d been so weak earlier, my legs felt steady now. I walked up to the mirror, smoothed down my messy hair, and straightened my pajamas.

Leaving my room, I stepped into the hallway. The thick, hot air pressed down around me.

Step by step, I went down the stairs and stopped in front of the living room door.

My heart was pounding. My chest felt tight with nerves. It almost felt like I was about to confess something terrible—as if I were betraying Mom somehow. The thought made me even more anxious.

I placed my hand on the door and opened it.

Mom was sitting on the sofa, doing a crossword puzzle. She looked up as soon as she sensed me come in.

“Oh, Ayumi-chan. Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah.”

My reply came out short—I was too nervous to say more.

Mom smiled gently at my stiffness.

“You look like you’ve got something to say.”

So she had noticed something was off.

“Y-yeah…”

I answered, but hesitated, unsure how to begin.

No, I can’t back out now. I can’t run away.

“Mom! I have something important to talk about!”

My voice came out louder than I intended. My tongue tripped, and I bit it hard—but Mom didn’t laugh. She just looked me straight in the eyes.

“I see. Then it must be something really important, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It’s about… what I’m going to do from now on.”

Silence fell between us.

How should I say it? No—there’s no point in dancing around. I just have to say it.

“I… I’ve decided I want to live as a girl.”

I went straight to the point.

“Oh, I see♪ I think that’s just fine♪”

Her answer came so easily that I froze.

“…Huh?”

She smiled so brightly I was completely thrown off.

Shouldn’t there be… more to it? Not that I wanted her to disagree—but just ending it there?!

“Um… you’re really okay with that, Mom?”

I asked carefully.

Mom tilted her head slightly, as if she didn’t understand why I was worried.

“Ayumi-chan, your way of life isn’t something I decide for you. If you’ve chosen the path that feels right, then I have no reason to deny it.”

“B-but—”

I tried to argue, but the words caught in my throat.

Mom wrapped her arms around me, holding me close.

“You must have been disappointed, right? That your son became your daughter?”

“Well, hmm… sure, I was surprised,” she said softly. “But disappointed? Not at all. I mean, Ayumi-chan, you’re adorable.”

She hugged me tighter.

Oof—okay, it’s getting a little hard to breathe now.

“Joking aside,” she continued with a gentle smile, “yes, when I first found out you’d become Ayumi-chan, I was shocked. And watching the traces of Ayumu-kun slowly fade did make me sad.”

I looked up at her.

“But you know,” she went on softly, “what I worried about most was whether you’d be happy.”

“Me?”

“That’s right. Suddenly turning into a girl like that—it wouldn’t have been strange if you’d fallen into depression or worse. That’s what really scared me. But then you kept getting cuter and seemed to be enjoying life more and more. So I was relieved.”

It was true—the change had been huge.

Sometimes I wonder how I managed to stay okay through all of it. Haha… maybe I’m tougher than I thought. Then again, everyone in the Sakura family is pretty thick-skinned. Even Ryoji once told me I adapt fast.

“Lately, though, you’ve looked a little anxious, so I was worried again,” Mom added. “But it looks like you’ve worked through that too.”

“It’s thanks to Ryoji.”

Mom reached out and gently patted my head.

“You’ve made a really good friend, haven’t you?”

I nodded. Ryoji really is a good guy.

Even after I became a girl, he never changed—still there for me, still listening whenever I needed to vent. Well, he can be a bit of a pain sometimes, but still.

“Yeah… though sometimes his teasing goes a little too far.”

“Then Ayumi-chan, you have to put your foot down and tell him off properly, okay?”

“Eh!? U-uh, right…”

“Put my foot down,” huh… Have I ever actually done that? No, I don’t think I have.

He did promise not to touch me or anything, but what if he forgets after, like, three steps? No, if he ever tries something, I’ll definitely say something next time! Yeah!

I clenched my fist tightly.

“If you’re going to live as a girl,” Mom said, watching me with a small smile, “you have to learn to protect yourself too.”

She nodded approvingly, as if pleased to see me steeling my resolve.

“But still,” she added, “I’m so happy to see that Ayumi-chan has grown into such a proper young lady♪ You know, when I used to say I wanted a daughter, I really meant it.”

Mom’s smile glowed with genuine warmth.

She looked so happy. Wait—hold on a second…

“Wait, so if I’d said I wanted to live as a boy again, would you have been disappointed instead?”

“...N-no, of course not!?”

That pause! What was with that pause!?

Wow… that’s kind of harsh. So I just happened to make the right choice by luck, huh?!

“Pfft, I’m kidding♪”

Mom chuckled mischievously when she saw my sulky face.

“If Ayumi-chan had wanted to keep living as Ayumu-kun—even like this—I would’ve supported you all the same.”

She spoke slowly, carefully, as if making sure every word reached my heart.

Her expression softened, filled with calm affection.

“Really?”

“Of course♪ Because all I want is for you to be happy, Ayumi-chan.”

As she said that, Mom pulled me into her arms again.

Her embrace was so warm—so gentle.

Why is she always so kind to me? Why does she accept everything I say, everything I am, without hesitation?

“You look like you’re wondering about something,” she said, reading my thoughts as easily as ever.

“Ayumi-chan,” she continued softly, “you’re my precious child—the one I carried in my belly and brought into this world. So of course, I’ll support you with everything I have, as long as it helps you find happiness. You should live the way you’ve chosen—and be happy in it. That alone is enough for me.”

“…Yeah.”

When I looked up at her face, it was blurry.

Why—? I blinked, then realized something warm was sliding down my cheeks. At some point, I’d started crying.

But it wasn’t sadness—it was relief. So much relief that my heart couldn’t hold it anymore. I didn’t even know why I was crying, only that I couldn’t stop.

“Oh, goodness♪”

Mom smiled tenderly as she dabbed my face and cheeks with her handkerchief.

I cried for a while longer until the tears finally stopped.

The whole time, Mom never let go—she just kept holding me quietly.

“…Well, I guess that means Kaname’s our only son left now,” she said lightly.

“Yeah, that’s true. If only he were as cute as Ayumu-kun used to be… but he’s turned into such a cheeky little brat lately,” she sighed.

Whoa, that’s… kind of harsh, Mom!

“Uh… you do still love Kaname, right?”

“Eh!? O-of course I do!”

Sure doesn’t look like it! Her eyes were darting everywhere—come on, look me in the eyes, Mom! Poor Kaname!

Mom let out a long sigh.

“He’s been so rebellious lately—won’t listen to me or your father at all. If you told him to behave, Ayumi-chan, I bet he’d actually straighten up.”

“Ah… I see.”

He’s always coming to my room, being clingy and sweet, so I hadn’t even noticed he was acting out. Maybe I should talk to him sometime—if Mom’s having a hard time, I’ll do what I can to help!

While I was thinking that, Mom suddenly clapped her hands together as if she’d just remembered something.

“Oh, that’s right! Since you’re going to live as a girl, your training with Mom will be upgraded to Special Hard Mode! So do your best, okay?”

She winked playfully.

Wait… what?

I’m already being drilled nonstop—cooking, laundry, cleaning, all of it—and there’s an even higher level!? I was starting to think I’d finally graduated from all that!

“…Um, just out of curiosity,” I asked carefully, “what level was my training up until now?”

She smiled. “Let’s see… something like the Beginner Special Very Easy Course♪”

And in that moment, I instantly regretted my decision to live as a girl.