Chapter 87: The Beautiful Girl Takes Her First Step Toward the Cultural Festival (Part 3)

Rehearsal for the play begins.
Those of us who received roles, myself included, gather at the front of the classroom, forming a big circle with our scripts in hand. The students in charge of props, set pieces, sound, and everything else seem eager to see how the actual acting will look, so they’re all watching us closely with the same expectant expression.

Ugh, this is nerve-racking… On the day of the performance, even more people will be staring at me while I act, right? Just thinking about it makes me feel faint.

"Are you okay, Ayu-chan?"

Togo, who happened to be standing next to me, speaks up in concern.
Am I really making such a worrying face? Yeah… probably. I’m so nervous my body’s trembling a little.

"Alright then, let’s start with Sakura-san’s lines."

Mita-kun’s merciless declaration makes my body jolt.

"Hy-yes!"

I blurt out some strange response before I can stop myself.
Everyone turns to look at me at once, which only makes it worse. Calm down, calm down. My body feels so hot it’s like someone put a kettle full of cold water on my head and it still started boiling.

I inhale deeply once, then slowly exhale. My head cools down a little. Okay. I shout a small cheer inside my heart, lower my eyes to the script, and read my line.

I read it without tripping! With that tiny bit of confidence, I raise my head—only to see Mita-kun wearing a very disappointed expression.

"S-Sakura-san. A little louder, please."

His comment deflates me.
But… he’s totally right. My voice already sounds small in a classroom; on an actual stage, in a huge gymnasium, no one would hear me.

I’ve never yelled or projected my voice like that before… What am I supposed to do? Well—for now, I’ll just try squeezing out as much volume as I can.

I focus on speaking loudly, push my voice out from my stomach, and read the line again.

"Hmm. The volume is… decent, I guess. Well, it’s the first day, so let’s just move on."

Mita-kun crosses his arms and thinks for a moment, but eventually moves on to the next line.

As for me, I clearly understand what he meant: in other words, he’s saying I’m terrible. I mean, even I know I’m not good at this… but being told it out loud hits differently.

Ugh… maybe I’m too focused on not messing up the words. This is hard.

"Don’t worry about it, Sakura-san. It’s your first time; it can’t be helped."

Sudo-kun says that with a laugh, gently patting my head—tap tap.
I feel a little annoyed, but I make sure not to show it. It’s fine with girls or with Ryoji, but getting casually touched by a boy still makes me uneasy. And it takes a lot of effort to keep my hair neat, okay!?

While I’m busy with my own thoughts, Sudo-kun’s turn comes. Since he plays my childhood friend in the play, he has almost as many early-scene lines as I do.

He reads smoothly through his script. Annoyingly smoothly. His lines sound so natural it makes me jealous.

Is this the difference between someone who’s always cheerfully talking in front of others and someone like me, who only hangs out quietly in a tiny friend circle?

"So? How was it, Sakura-san?"

"Eh!?"

He suddenly asks for my thoughts, completely catching me off guard.
Shouldn’t he be asking the director, Mita-kun!? Is he teasing me because I’m doing such a bad job?

But when I look at his face, he’s smiling brightly—almost sparkling. He doesn’t look like he has a shred of bad intent.

Ugh… feeling inferior and assuming the worst of people just because I can’t do well is not a good habit.

"How was my acting?"

"Um, I think… it was good…?"

"Yes! Woohoo!"

Even though I’m in no position to evaluate anyone’s acting, all I can offer is a vague impression that it sounded good. I can tell he’s more confident and more skilled than me, but I don’t really know what exactly makes a performance “good.”

Honestly, I’m such an amateur I shouldn’t be judging anyone…

My unsure answer ends up sounding like a question, but Sudo-kun is still thrilled.

We continue reading the script for a while. There are no gestures yet; we’re only reading aloud—but even that is hard. The character I’m playing resembles me in some ways, but she’s still a different person. Her way of speaking doesn’t match mine, which makes it hard to read smoothly.

So my lines end up sounding stiff… maybe not completely monotone, but definitely not good.

It’s still “the first day,” so that’s my excuse for now, but if this continues, it’ll be a disaster. The anxiety gnaws at me quietly.

The scene shifts, and now Togo and the other girls have lines. All of them seem so much better at acting than I am.

Ugh… seriously, why was I given such a big role? I want to go back in time and yell at the me who said “okay” back then.

Eventually, the script moves toward the climax. Even without movements, everyone starts putting more energy into their reading. I try my best too, but my lines still don’t come out well.

And then… we reach the kiss scene.

Not a romantic kiss scene, though.
It’s the scene where, due to a war between nations, the heroine is forced to part with her childhood friend, and she gives him one final kiss goodbye. She acts strong, smiles at him after the kiss… That’s the flow of the scene, but I have serious doubts about whether I can act that properly.

My lines end up stiff again, and I have no idea how to fix it.

Meanwhile, Sudo-kun, playing the childhood friend, is completely fired up—putting unbelievable intensity into the scene despite it being just a read-through.

After we finish going through the script, we share impressions with each other.

"Hmm. It’d be better if you could put a little more emotion into it, Sakura-san."

Mita doesn’t bother hiding his dissatisfaction with my acting.

"Sorry…"

At this point, all I could do was apologize over and over.

"Well, it’s only the first day, so it can’t be helped. We still have a little under two months, so let’s do our best."

Seeing me all deflated, Mita tried to encourage me. Since he wrote the script himself, I’m sure the last thing he wants is someone giving a stiff, monotone performance. I get that—and I really am sorry—but…

The gap between the play’s heroine and me is bigger than I expected. She’s the type who expresses her emotions openly, way more than I do. That’s the hard part. I’m still not entirely sure what it even means to truly "become" a character…

"Hey, Mita!"

Sudo called out from behind Mita.

"Don’t bully Sakura too much, okay?"

"N-No, I’m not bullying them or anything!"

Mita panicked. He’s in the literature club too—an indoor type. He’s never really been part of Sudo’s group, so he always seems a little awkward around them. In that way, we’re kind of similar.

"Hahaha, I know, I know. Anyway, how about we grab something to eat after this?"

Mita tilted his head in confusion, and Sudo wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in. Mita looked startled, but he didn’t seem bothered.

"We were thinking of getting some fries. You in?"

Mita hesitated for a moment but eventually decided to go along.

Before I knew it, Togo was joining them too, chatting with some of the other cast members. Togo and Ryoji’s sociable personalities are honestly enviable. Even though I’m a girl now, my personality is still the same timid boy I used to be. That’s why talking with people I’m not used to is so hard—I just don’t know what to say.

"Sakura, you should come too."

Lost in thought, I realized Sudo was inviting me as well. I’d always admired the idea of grabbing food after school with classmates. With Togo there, I wouldn’t be stuck with no one to talk to.

"Yeah, I’ll go."

With that, the cast group burst into excitement. Honestly, I should enjoy this while I can. Once time starts slipping by without my acting improving, I won’t be able to stay this relaxed anymore. And considering how today went, I’m mostly just anxious. I really have to do something…

We walked to the hamburger chain a short way toward the station from school.

Everyone ordered whatever set they wanted. This time of day after school is usually pretty crowded, but a large group that had been there before happened to leave, so we managed to secure seats.

Carrying my tray with a burger, fries, and a drink, I sat at a spot that felt comfortable. Sitting in the middle would be stressful, especially if the people around me were ones I didn’t normally talk to. So I took a seat at the end.

Then Sudo sat down right beside me.

Why next to me of all places? Wouldn’t the middle make it easier to talk with everyone? Togo sat across from me, though, so at least I wouldn’t struggle to talk with the people around me. That was a relief.

"Sakura, want some fries?"

Sudo talked to me every chance he got. He’s probably the type who looks after others. I guess he thinks I’d stay quiet and unable to join the conversation on my own—an assumption that is, unfortunately, very accurate.

"I bought fries too, so I’m good."

I smiled as I answered him, then picked up one of the fries from my tray and popped it into my mouth.

For a while, I chimed in with nods and small comments. Most of the conversations revolved around the play. This week we’re still doing read-throughs in the classroom and courtyard. The actual performance will be in the gym, but we won’t get to use it until next week.

Once we start practicing in the gym, we’ll be using our whole bodies for the acting. Before that happens, I need to fix this problem where even just reading lines is already overwhelming.

"I wonder how I can get better at this…"

The words slipped out of my mouth like a muttered sigh.

Everyone tried to reassure me with things like "You’re fine," "It’s just the first day," and "We’ll be practicing every day from now on." I know it’s the first day. I know I’ll get used to it. I want to believe I’ll improve.

But still—being the only one who’s clearly worse at this stage is scary.

After the chatting wrapped up and we split up, I turned to Togo.

"Togo, how can I get better at acting?"

Togo looked surprised, then a bit troubled.

"Hmm… I’m not exactly good at it myself. Maybe just try putting yourself emotionally in the character’s place? And maybe try reading your lines out loud at home."

I told him "Makes sense" and thanked him. I guess I’ll try reading the script at home over and over.

I reached the station, got on the train, then rode my bike. Normally I go home with Ryoji, but today I was alone. The days are getting shorter, and it was already completely dark.

Feeling just a little lonely, I pedaled down the familiar road.

Whether I can really play the role well or not… I couldn’t help feeling overwhelmed by the uncertainty.