Chapter 7

It might have been nothing more than the tiniest crack—so small I hadn’t even noticed.
Or maybe I had noticed, but pretended not to see it and kept looking away all this time.

All over the world, the real mating season seemed to be beginning.

Dad was on edge, making sure I never went outside, reminding me again and again, “You mustn’t go out.”
When I asked Mom why he was so worried, she only smiled and said, “Because he doesn’t want all the men to see how cute Mimosa is.”

So Dad just wants to keep me shut away like a sheltered daughter, huh?
What a doting fool… and yet, I couldn’t help feeling happy.

Even though this mating season felt a little suffocating, I wasn’t unhappy at all.

After all, Huey comes by to see me almost every day.
Before spring’s mating season drew near, we hardly ever talked—maybe just a few words if we ran into each other on the road.
But during this time of being stuck inside, we’ve had so many conversations. It’s been fun spending time freely with a boy my own age.

Honestly, long live mating season!

Oh—while thinking that, my dog ears caught the sound of familiar footsteps.
As the warmth of spring deepened, my sense of smell and hearing had grown sharper.

Trying to calm my wagging tail, I hurried to the front door before he even arrived.

"Hello… oh. Aren’t you always waiting by the door lately?"

"No way, it’s just a coincidence."

As I answered, a soft scent of wildflowers mixed with earth, mud, and Huey’s sweat drifted into my nose.
Such a vivid, overflowing smell of life—I breathed it in with all my chest.

Taking the small white flowers he handed me, I skipped toward the kitchen to put them in a vase.

When I glanced back, Huey was still standing at the doorway, looking troubled.

"What’s wrong? You can come in, like always."

"Well, um… your mom?"

"Mom went out to the neighborhood for a bit. She’ll be back soon."

Does he need her for something? Tilting my head at the thought, I saw Huey scratch his head.

"Mm, in that case… I’ll head home."

"What? Why? Didn’t you come here to talk? If you need Mom, you can just wait here!"

Talking with Huey was the only fun I had in this boring season. Why would he leave?
When I pressed him, openly showing my displeasure, Huey gave me a smile like he was soothing a little kid.

"Look, I’m still a guy, and Mimosa—you’re a girl. Being alone together… it’s not really right for your parents."

"Why not! Both Mom and Dad are happy you come over, and besides—you told me yourself you think of me like a little sister!"

Huey hesitated, as if he wanted to say something but swallowed it back.
He stood there in silence, struggling, until he finally sighed, as though giving up.

"I figured I’d have to say this sooner or later…"

But after that single line, his words stopped again.
As his eyes wandered without ever meeting mine, irritation bubbled up inside me.
Just a moment ago I’d been so cheerful—so why was I suddenly so frustrated?

"…Listen. Lately… I’ve started showing signs of it."

"Signs of what!"

My voice came out sharper than I meant. I didn’t want to sound like I was blaming him…

"My mating season’s about to start."

My mind went completely blank.

I’d always thought of the mating season as something frightening but still distant—something that belonged to another world.
And now I realized I’d been fooling myself into believing that.

That Huey, too, would have a mating season, and might end up pairing with someone… I had never imagined it!

"If a guy at the start of mating season stays around a girl, well… things could get dangerous."

I couldn’t take in his words.

"So starting tomorrow, I won’t come by."

"So… you’d rather spend mating season with an adult woman, not some kid like me who can’t even hide her ears and tail…"

No, stop! Why am I saying this? That’s not what I want to say at all!

"That’s not it! Mimosa, you’ve seen men in mating season before, right? Restless, emotional, with that wild look in their eyes! I don’t want to scare you like that."

"Don’t say it’s for my sake! I don’t want to hear it! You told me I was like a little sister to you, and that I could rely on you! Was that all a lie?!"

I shouted in anger, swept away by my emotions.

Then I looked up at Huey—and all the blood drained from my face like I’d been doused in cold water.

He was wearing a pained, almost tearful expression.
I had never seen him like that before.

I hurt him.

“…I’m really sorry.”

That was all Huey managed to say, his voice strained with pain. Without even looking back, he walked away.

“...Uuhh… hhic… hhhuuuuuuhhhhhh!!”

Overwhelmed by the crushing regret of having hurt him, I collapsed at the doorway and sobbed.

I don’t know how long I stayed curled up there, crying.
It wasn’t until Mom’s startled voice reached me that I realized time had passed.

“Mimosa, what happened?”

As I hunched there, choking on my sobs, Mom rubbed my back gently and asked with concern.

But cowardly as I was, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I’d hurt Huey.
All I managed, between gasps, was to stammer out that Huey wouldn’t be coming by anymore, and then I ran to my room.

I could feel Mom’s worried gaze on my back, and it hurt—so painfully, so bitterly.

On my bed, I drew my knees up to my chest and pressed my forehead against them.
Tears welled and fell, soaking into my skirt until my knees went warm, then cold, over and over again.

I’m the worst.

I don’t have any right to cry.
That sorrowful face of Huey’s was burned into my eyes and wouldn’t leave me.
And yet… he was the one who apologized.
I had hurt someone so kind.

“Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh…”

My thoughts spun in circles, swirling into a mess I couldn’t make sense of.
It felt like every part of me was pouring out in tears, like I’d disappear from the world altogether.

I kept crying into the bed, muffling my voice so no one could hear.

By the time the evening sun streamed through my window, my tears had already run dry.
I hadn’t moved from the bed. Leaning my head against the wall, my eyes swollen, I just stared blankly.

“…Huey…”

The sound of his name drifted to my ears. My dog ears twitched reflexively.
I hated myself for picking up on that word without even meaning to.

Listening closer, I could hear Mom and Huey’s aunt talking quietly outside the house.

They were apologizing to each other.

Apparently, ever since Huey had come home, he had shut himself in, withdrawn, refusing to speak a word.
The image of his wounded face flashed before me again. To think he was still like that, all because of me—my chest tightened painfully.

“I never saw any sign of it before, so I thought he wouldn’t go into heat this spring either. Even he didn’t expect it to hit so suddenly… I was careless.”
“No, it’s my fault, for letting myself depend on Huey’s kindness. I was so happy to see Mimosa enjoying herself that I… If I’d been more responsible, neither Mimosa nor Huey would’ve been hurt. I’m such a terrible parent…”

Mom’s voice faltered and broke off. Then I heard Huey’s aunt soothing her, but I couldn’t bear to listen any longer. I covered my ears.

I’m sorry. It’s my selfishness that hurt everyone.

I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…

Like a broken toy, I kept repeating my apologies to no one.
On and on, until exhaustion overtook me and I sank into sleep, those words spilling endlessly into the empty air.