Chapter 39: Sin and Punishment

“God, I really don’t get it. What exactly did we do wrong?”

“What the hell… Is this what kids are like these days?”

Well, I’m not exactly a kid, but I guess to a god, we’d all look that way.

“I seriously don’t remember doing anything.”

“You lot once peed on my shrine.”

…Huh?

“Sorry, what? That’s it?”

“That’s it…? Hey, how would you feel if someone peed on you while you were asleep? You’d be mad, right?”

“Depends on who it is. We’re your cute little parishioners, right? I wouldn’t get mad even if Kana-chan peed on me.”

If anything—
Ah, no, never mind.

“…T-this is what modern kids are like…”

The god looked completely horrified.

“Um, Tama and the others aren’t like this pervert, nya.”

“Yeah. I’d definitely get mad.”

“No way I’d be okay with that.”

There they go again, pretending to be the good kids.

“R-right! That’s how normal people react! Thank goodness—no, wait, not thank goodness! What do you think I am, huh?! Fine, play pranks, call my shrine old and rundown, do your little courage tests—whatever! Kids will be kids, I can tolerate that! But peeing! That’s where I draw the line! Especially you, Tama! You even took a dump here, didn’t you?!”

…Ehhh.

“I really had to go, nya. I figured no one would come here, so I wouldn’t get caught, nya.”

“Go before you leave school, for crying out loud!”

“If you poop at school, you get bullied, nya.”

Well… she’s not entirely wrong about that.

“No! That’s still weird! Use the bathroom like a normal person! At least go somewhere else! You’re not a dog—don’t pee on the shrine!”

Oops.

“Sorry.”

“I’ll reflect on it, nya.”

“Sorry about that.”

The three of us apologized.

“So you finally understand your wrongdoing…”

“We’re reflecting, yeah.”

“Good! Show proper respect! And don’t forget to put something—well, you know what—into the offering box.”

We already did that earlier.

“I really am sorry. So can you turn us back now?”

“Ah, right. About that. Yeah, I could turn you back.”

The god nodded solemnly.

“Then hurry up and do it.”

“Well, there’s just one little problem.”

…What?

“Wait, you can’t turn us back?”

“No, I can. Actually, that’s why I called you here in the first place—to fix things.”

“Called us?”

We weren’t called.

“Well, more like… thought manipulation. I nudged your thoughts so you’d come here on your own.”

Seriously?
That’s kinda amazing.

“You can really do that?”

“Of course. I’m the god of love, after all. Using that, I pushed your thoughts a little—with a one-man-yen boost.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I mean, a timid girl like you? Even drunk, there’s no way you’d confess to your junior. You’d just overthink what happens if she turns you down and never do it. So I tweaked your thoughts a bit—gave you the courage to go through with it.”

That’s… honestly impressive.

“So, you knew Kana-chan and I liked each other?”

“Nope. Kana-chan’s not one of my parishioners… and besides, what you felt for her at first was basically lust.”

I mean, sure, she’s, uh… well-endowed.
But now I do like her properly.

“So if you didn’t know how Kana-chan felt, I could’ve been rejected?”

“Of course. She’s not under my protection, so I can’t alter her thoughts—and I shouldn’t. But don’t worry! There are plenty of fish in the sea. If she dumps you, move on! The real sin is letting fear stop you from acting! Be bold! That’s the essence of love!”

He might be the god of love, but that advice sounds like something straight out of a cheap magazine.

“What about the ten thousand yen?”

I was going to put that in the offering box after the confession worked out.

“I figured that’d be my reward and used it as a focus for the thought manipulation. And then you just forgot. Birdbrain.”

No, this is all because of what happened afterward.

The shock of turning into a girl was just too much.

“I think I get it now… Anyway, thank you.”

“Good, good. Show some gratitude.”

The god gave the offertory box a few taps.

“So, what’s this problem you mentioned?”

“You girls haven’t even tried to open your wallets yet… but fine. The problem is with that Kana-chan of yours.”

“Kana-chan?”

“Yes. It’s what you call a ‘reality alteration.’ It seems to affect her—and not affect her—at the same time.”

Well, yeah. There are way too many contradictions around her.

“She had another panic attack the other day.”

“That’s right. The only reason I decided to forgive you girls was because of Kana-chan. You lot are certainly blasphemous little brats, but Kana-chan isn’t even one of my parishioners—she’s just an ordinary girl living her life. It’s not right to drag her into all this. Especially since I went through the trouble of bringing you two together.”

The god nodded proudly, as if he’d just said something noble.

“Didn’t you say earlier that you couldn’t mess with Kana-chan’s thoughts because she isn’t one of your parishioners—and that you shouldn’t? But last week, you definitely did, didn’t you?”

That time when Kana-chan suddenly lost all memory of what we’d talked about.

“Y-yeah… that was a mistake. A violation of the rules. I got really chewed out for that…”

The god drooped his shoulders, looking dejected.

“Who even scolds you?”

“A higher god. I’m just the low-ranking deity of this little shabby shrine.”

Oof, that’s rough.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“Eromi, call Kana-chan. We’ll restore her memories and undo the faulty reality alteration.”

“Got it.”

I nodded and called Kana-chan on my phone. She picked up almost immediately.

“Hello? Kana-chan?”

‘What’s up?’

“Sorry to ask this out of the blue, but could you come to Kisarazu?”

‘Huh? Right now? That’s fine, but what’s this about?’

Well, yeah—it is kind of sudden.

“There’s someone I want you to meet.”

‘Someone you want me to meet…? I’ll be right there!’

“Ah—okay. I’ll come pick you up at the station.”

‘Got it!’

Kana-chan hung up, full of energy as always.

“…You don’t think she mistook that for me wanting to introduce her to my parents, do you?”

I put away my phone and looked around at everyone.

“She definitely did.”

“For sure, nya.”

“There’s no other explanation.”

“Looks like the shrine’s getting a new parishioner!”

Well, I mean, I wouldn’t mind introducing her to them eventually…

“So anyway, what about us?” Tama tilted her head. “Will we turn back now, nya?”

“Ah, yes. About that. Truth is, you’ve been able to from the start.”

…What?

“W-what do you mean, nya?!”

“All you girls had to do was wish strongly enough to turn back into men, and you would’ve. But if even one of you wished to stay a woman, then everyone would remain women. That’s the nature of the curse I placed.”

You don’t just curse your own parishioners!

“Wait, so… we could’ve turned back this whole time, nya?”

“Exactly. But instead, you sat around at that family restaurant, chatting about pointless things, never once seriously wishing to return. And before long, you started getting used to those bodies. The worst offender is you, Eromi. The only times you ever wished to turn back were when you were groping Kana-chan’s boobs or when she had you on the ropes. Is your brain nothing but filth? Honestly… watching my own parishioners sink to such depths was just too pitiful.”

The god sighed and shook his head in disbelief.

“So… does that mean we can turn back?”

Ignored. Totally ignored.

“You can. But if you’re going to, do it after restoring Kana-chan’s common sense alteration and the memories that were sealed. In the current state, it’d just put a burden on her.”

Yeah, that makes sense.

“What should we do?”

I asked the three of them.

“For now, let’s head to the station. It’d probably be better if we give you two some space. We’ll split up there. We can at least give you and Kana-san a ride.”

“That sounds best, nya.”

“Agreed. Let’s talk again tomorrow.”

“Got it.”

We left the shrine, got into the car, and drove off toward the station.