Chapter 35:

The cabin and forest faded like the color from an old photo. It was there, the smells brushing my nose, the dirt under my feet, the wind tussling my hair—then it was gone. The world shifted to white.

I stood atop nothingness in a bright void. My eyes searched for some splotch of color, but the only thing in view was myself. I’m getting real sick of these visions.

It felt like I’d witnessed something important; I could only hope that when I saw the others again, they could make sense of the vision I’d been shown. My brain wasn’t suited for such intellectual tasks—I was more of a doer than a thinker. I’d leave the hard stuff to Mira; she was a smart cookie. Assuming I made it back in one piece. If the cult had chucked my unconscious body in jail, Gale would never let me live it down. 

Where was that damn statue? Was it waiting for me to call? I cupped my hands around my mouth. “Hey!”

My voice hung in the air, echoing back to me from countless directions.

“I’m ready to go now! Please?”

My hands fell limply to my side and I frowned. This statue was going to pay for trapping me in a hallucination. Forcing it into pigeon-poop-hell would by my last act, even if it killed me! See if you’re so cocky as a park fountain, you miserable pile of rocks!

[I would not advise that.]

I flinched at the sudden popup. It still had control over the system? This damn thing! It was really asking to be ground into pebbles!

“Yeah? As soon as I’m out of here, Gale’s crushing you up for playground mulch.”

[I am not your enemy. The Demon Lord is.]

“Are you serious? Your minions stabbed me with a knife and you’re running a drug cult. How are you not my enemy?”

[You cannot destroy him as you are. Face yourself. Grow strong.]

“That didn’t answer my—”

The world went black.

I blinked, and the sight of a familiar room filled my eyes. My room. My breath hitched. What was this statue trying to pull? I cautiously observed the area, ready for a fight. The room was as I left it. Clothes were scattered across the floor, the walls and windows covered in dust from lack of care. A poster, some anime thing I’d picked up with Gale, was the sole adornment on the wall. The smell of sweat and feet flooded my wrinkling nose. God, did it always smell like this?

I looked around, part in surprise, part in nostalgia. How long had it been since I’d slept in that bed? It felt like a thousand years, a literal lifetime ago. I sat down on the edge of it, feeling the janky springs beneath, and ran my fingers over the blanket and pillow. They were the last thing I had from my parents. I hugged the blanket to my face, ignoring the smell. That scratchiness, how I’d missed it. 

The computer hummed on its desk, drawing my attention. I smiled at the sight. Having magic was cool and all, but I had spent hours laying in bed wishing for something to play games on. I remembered building it by hand with Gale. He had come over, we’d ordered pizza and spent the whole night cursing over parts that dropped in the chassis. I looked around, things I’d forgotten about reappearing in my memory as I saw them. It was bittersweet. My eyes widened as the doorknob rattled, and someone walked in. 

It was me.

Or, Aaron. He was thin, gaunt-faced and unkempt. His clothes hung loosely over his body, and his hair was hastily brushed down over his eyes. He walked in, back hunched, and sat down in the computer chair. He turned towards me. We looked at each other . I was surprised that I no longer considered that face to be mine. It took a moment to get over the shock of seeing my old self. 

“Hey, you.” His voice was emotionless. He eyed me over. “You’ve made some changes.”

This was too surreal. “Yeah, a few.”

His gaze poured over me like a scalding shower. It lingered not with the hunger of desire, but the flame of envy. His face twisted into a mask of sorrow and hatred. 

I blinked. That face…I had been the one behind it. I remembered the jealousy I had pushed down, ignored, let stew as I went about life. After my diagnosis, there never seemed to be a point in being happy. No matter what I did, I knew I would die soon. How could I think about anything else? I was a mass of negative emotions, a creature shackled by circumstance. A pang of sadness shot through my chest. Memories flooded my mind, so vivid, yet surreal, like the dreams of another person. When had I become so detached from ‘Aaron’? 

I looked at ‘me’. He was alone. Scared. Numb. Ready to die, ready to be forgotten. Had that really been me? What could I say to take the pain away?

I gave a soft smile. “It gets better.”

Aaron’s face twisted as he looked down. He didn’t respond. His hands curled into tight balls. 

Ah, that posture. Had my anger always been so palpable? I suddenly felt very silly as I imagined myself hiding my feelings from those around me, unaware that I wasn’t good at hiding them, but simply surrounded by those that didn’t care. That wasn’t the case for me anymore. And after everything, there was one person that would always care about ‘me’.

Aaron’s eyes followed me, confused, as I stood from the bed. I pulled him into a hug and pressed him into me as hard as I could. He pushed me away reflexively, but I pinched his side, stopping him. 

His voice was panicked. “What are you—”

“Shut up and let me love you.”

“What?”

Aaron’s hands, which had been pushing me away at my shoulders, softened with the words. I pulled back and rubbed the top of his head, emulating Gale as close as I could. 

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Showing you I care.”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you stupid?”

“Yes,” I said, “We are.”

Aaron pushed my hand from his head after a moment. I grinned at him. 

“Do you really think a hug and a few words are gonna make me feel better?”

“Maybe two hugs.”

He leaned to the side, dodging my extended arms. 

I pouted at him. “You make looking after me so difficult. Why are you always so hard on yourself?”

“Shouldn’t you know already?” He gently shoved me away, and I staggered backwards onto the bed with a bounce. This guy! Always so physical.

The sheets next to me crumpled from my hand’s insistent pats as I smiled at him, beckoning him to sit. “Come, come.”

His lips twisted. Aaron grumbled as he stood, making a show of sitting next to me. We leaned back at the same time, falling into the bed with a duo of weary sighs. We stared at the roof in tandem. I reached out and held one of his hands in mine. I was taken aback at the difference in size. 

We sat in silence, neither willing to end the quiet camaraderie. I turned my head, the world tilting sideways as I looked at my old face. A strange feeling welled within me. I had expected to feel revulsion at the sight, yet the gnawing enmity of my old body was nowhere to be found. My eyes widened as I realized what filled my spirit.

“Hey,” I said.

Aaron turned his head, our eyes meeting. “Hmm?”

“Thanks.”

He raised a brow. “For what?”

I squeezed his hand twice. “For everything. For sticking through it. For getting us here.”

I smiled at him. “Thank you for doing the hard part.”

Aaron’s mouth fell open. He turned his head away, hiding the welling tears from my sight. His hand tightly clenched mine.

His voice came as a whisper. “It was so hard.”

“I know.”

“I wanted to die.”

“…I know.”

“I was so lonely.”

I leaned over, hugging him from behind.

 “We’re not alone anymore.”