Chapter 16: Alone

In my tent, I found him sitting, slumped over a mug on a table that was made small by his enormous presence. A pitcher on the table. Picked it up, sweet smelling barley. Ale. God knows I needed one, too. Grabbed a mug, filled it, sat down beside him, putting my hand on his knee to offer some comfort.

“It was like they were expecting us. The bulk of their force was where we began the harassment.”

“It must have been awful.” Blood-soaked rags filled my vision.

“So many men lost. They . . . they countered our every move, cut off our escapes before we knew which way to escape.”

“Is it possible that we have a mole?”

“Mole?”

“Someone giving the enemy information.”

“A traitor you mean. More likely they have a clairvoyant with them.”

“I’m sorry, a what?”

“A wizard specializing in divining their enemy’s movement.”

“Huh.” That changes things. “Do we have someone or something that can counteract that?

“Our magister himself is a clairvoyant. He should have been blocking them.”

“Speak with him, find out what went wrong. If he did his job, then-”

“Either their wizard is more powerful, or you are correct, and we harbor a traitor.”

“Or it was dumb luck. What happened?”

“We quickly retreated, attacked another flank and were repulsed again, but this time our direct exit was cut off. We headed through their ranks in the only direction we could, but they’d anticipated as much. I ordered the infantry to provide a spear wall and our cavalry cut us a path out. We took heavy losses.”

My entire body was tired, bloody with the work I’d been doing in the hospital. I held up my hands, gestured to the filthy clothing I wore “I see that, brother.”

“Cayce! You were volunteering in the hospital?”

“What else could I do?”

He stood, hugged me, blood and all, “Mother would be proud. And father!”

“How much did this weaken our forces?” I still had no idea how large our army was, how large a normal army was, what we were up against, and so much more. Getting that information from men who carefully guarded the knowledge that secured their position was proving difficult. We went back to sitting.

“Considerably. I’ll have to reorganize the survivors into existing companies and join the remaining cavalry companies from today’s skirmish together.” He wiped sweat off his brow. His face had lost the ever-present joy that had been a hallmark of his character.

“How would you avoid this, were you to repeat this day?”

“What difference would that make? No day can be repeated or we’d be gods!”

“I seek to learn how battles work. What tactics to use in such a situation.”

“It’s a difficult thing to judge, battle. You never know all the factors, nor what the enemy is planning. Perhaps a slower stalk, firing arrows from the trees to catch the stragglers. Or perhaps ranging far ahead of them to be abreast of their expectations.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

“Do you seek to make me second guess myself?”

“Not in the slightest! I’m unhappy in the role I’ve been thrust. This girlish life is not for me.”

“You’ve changed, little one. I don’t disapprove, but the dowager certainly does. I’m unsure of how to proceed with your care.”

“Fuck that old bitch, seriously.”

“Cayce!”

“No, she pisses me off.” He was confused by my colloquialism. “Angers me.”

“You test her!”

“So what? I am no longer the little girl she cared for. Not after this war . . .” I hoped he’d imagine my reasons, do the work for me, so I wouldn’t have to explain.

“Yes, yes, our parents have been killed, our brothers and sisters. Only we are left of our family. And now you’ve treated men’s wounds, seen them heal,” he lowered his gaze, “seen them die.”

“Yes.” Not much else to say on that front and I still needed answers. “What does the enemy want?”

“Land, power, money. Slaves. What we have.”

“That can’t be it, that feels too normal.”

“Normal? What reason did we have to conquer the lands we govern?”

“How much wheat do our lands produce? What mining do we have? Timber?”

“What? These are questions for the councilors.”

“Then let me talk to the councilors. I want to know why we are fighting this war! Don’t you?” He really did, at this moment, feel like an NPC. Point for the game scenario.

“Alright. I’m weary and will take sustenance with the men. I must meet with the generals and dukes to plan our next move. After this, I fear the enemy may try to cross the bridge.”

“And if they do?”

“It would be a tough fight. They have the numbers.”

“But the bridge is a choke point, yes? That equals out the numbers.”

“It only seems to. Our men would have to fight harder and fight better, we’d have to reduce their numbers greater for every man we lost.”

“Ah, I see. Is there no way to fortify the bridge? Create force multipliers?”

He put his head back, bellowing with laughter again, “You, well done, you got me talking about tactics. It’s best I do so with our generals. I’ll talk to the dowager, and we’ll see if she can soften her stance toward you. I know it’s rough, but we all went through a harsh education. And it matters, learning what you’re learning. You need to be a good wife.”

“Wise wife, strong mother?”

“Exactly that!”

“Exactly what I am going to avoid. Go! Off to your generals. I have my own plans.”

***

After he left, I rounded up some dinner and ate quickly, took the ale to the bath, cleaned up and soaked and soaked. That had been a long, hard day. Worse for the soldiers. I wondered what I’d accomplished. If this were a game, presumably my actions opened up some storyline. If this weren’t, well, I helped a few people out.

My girls were gone, my guards were gone. Against the dowager’s plans, it looked like I lost. In that regard, I’d probably given her all the time she needed today.

Though it was nice to finally be alone. No giggling fourteen-year-olds, no one desperate to throw a dress on me or powder my face, watch me go to the bathroom. Though I was exhausted, the alone time was glorious.

Instead of returning to my tent, I decided baby needed a new pair of pants. Leather, thick, and made for wearing chainmail over.

***

“Your highness,” said the young boy, rubbing his eyes, “should I wake the master armorer?”

I smiled at him deviously, “Let’s not. I believe you can help me out.” I passed him my lantern, and then he and I searched the place for an appropriately sized gambeson, a hauberk, and then weapons. By that time, I’d acquired three little boys from the different smithies helping me out. That’s what happens when smiths sleep, or drink and leave their stores unattended, little boys help princesses steal.

I’m not really telling the truth here, though. I was caught by older apprentices, sleeping in the shops. They didn’t put up too much trouble, a bit of arguing until the little boys explained who I was, and I ended up getting everything more quickly.

I had to settle for off the shelf stuff, though. It wasn’t tailored like I’d previously worked out with the smiths. Chain and gambeson to fit smaller men, the young men of our armies. Boys where I come from. Sword and spear, as small as they came, but probably too large for me, and another dirk. That, at least, I knew I could use, and would make a fine pair to the one I’d stashed at the tent. I wore the weapons in belts and carried the armor in a bundle. I asked the lads not to tell anyone knowing they certainly would. Hopefully, I’d get away in time to go with the prince’s army in the morning.

Upon returning to my tent, it had new guards. Not really surprised. Hoped the old ones were ok. They stood to attention, saluted. I smiled and said, “As you were, be comfortable.” Not sure if those were the right words. I was returned with “Your Highness.”

Sapphire wasn’t in my tent. I did my toiletries, as she would say, without her guidance and somehow managed. What reason would the dowager have to remove all the girls? It crossed my mind that she meant to have an assassin kill me. Tonight would be the perfect night, given her arrangements.

I stuffed the covers with dresses to make it look like two extra girls were sleeping beside me. I placed the dirk I’d just got under my pillow, the armor on a nearby table, weapons under the bed. Then, because I’m crazy, I lined up the lighter chairs around the bed. If anyone wanted to kill me, well, they’d have to move some chairs first. Finally, I lay down in between the bumps, head at the foot of the bed, trying to sleep.

I wanted to think more about my situation, who I was, why I could remember living in a technologically advanced society but not my life there. Or my name.

The problem was, I couldn’t stay awake.