Chapter 2: Rebirth is less than Ideal

Chapter Two: Rebirth is less than Ideal (Edited)

In retrospect, figuring out I had a tail before I realized my penis was gone probably said something about me.

In my defense, thinking at all was difficult. A haze consistently hung over my thoughts, and I had long periods where I remembered nothing at all, like I had blacked out. Compounding matters further was my eyesight, or lack thereof.

I couldn’t see, only hear and feel.  I don’t think I’d ever considered, seriously, how much I relied on sight for basic comprehension of my environment, but with it gone I found myself sincerely missing it.

I can’t say how long this haze lasted, but it gave me a newfound appreciation for what it felt like to be bedridden, blind and helpless. The one thing that broke the haze were the moments when the soothing voice returned to sing to me, but even there, I could barely do anything but focus on the song and then likely black out. This process repeated, again and again.

One day, it ended.

I opened my eyes, and I saw blue. Well, blue and red. I couldn’t tell what the blue and red blurs even were, but even that much was an improvement. Seeing anything after so long in the dark was wonderful and made me want to jump up in joy. I settled for wiggling instead, feeling something else wiggling about with me far more actively than my own sluggish limbs. Then before I could figure out what that something even was, a woman appeared in my vision very, mere centimeters from my face. I locked onto her, and I’d practically drank in her features like a man dying of thirst would a glass of ice water in the Sahara.

She seemed so gigantic, leaning down to look at me so intently. She had curly red hair stuck on the precipice of being orange that reminded me of so many flames, bright green eyes that almost seemed to glow with darker green depths, freckles surrounding a sharp nose with two wavy stripes over her cheeks. Otherwise, she had features that made me think of someone… northern? Perhaps most notable of all, she had two red-orange cat ears perched atop her head, each straight up and alert.

That last detail was so strange to see on a real person. Furry appendages on anime characters were a dime a dozen, but to see them, so life-like, was surreal. Hell, they weren’t just life like, they were alive as I could see some veins in the thin fuzz alongside the way the muscles twitched every time her ears moved.

She gazed into me with an utterly serious expression, like she was memorizing something of incredible importance for the first time. For a second, I wondered if something was wrong with me. Could Mr. Muscles have done something to me? I didn’t even know what the state of my body was, so maybe I was horrific, twisted, or just sad? I was hit by the possibility that while the pain was gone, the flames had twisted my skin, and she was just barely keeping herself from horror by professional detachment. Or perhaps—

She broke into a goofy smile and cooed baby talk at me.

My mind skipped a gear. Ground to a halt.  Rebooted.

In a crystalline moment, my suspicions clicked into place. The reason I could barely move, hadn’t been able to see, the sudden maternal noises aimed at my direction?

I was an infant.

Of course I hadn’t been able to see; my eyes barely even worked. And if I was only seeing now, I’d likely been a newborn this whole time. When I was told I’d be reborn, I hadn’t considered the full ramifications of the reborn part.

There’s no way Mr. Muscles hadn’t known of my ignorance, which made me wonder what other fuckery laid in store for me.

This woman, for better or worse, was probably my new mother in life. This was going to be weird. I had no one to compare her to beyond a nice neighbor lady who used to give me root beer candy as a kid, who—

That was odd. What was her name again?

At this point, my new catmom reached down to tickle my nose and my thought process suddenly went ker-plunk as that touch set my senses alight. I burst into the biggest giggle fit of my life.

When I came off from what I can only describe as a feeling of being high in the best of ways, I was somewhere else. I knew this based on the slightly different colored blurs I saw.

 I felt oddly full and incredibly sleepy. Gentle rocking motions soothed me and added to the sudden wave of tiredness creeping on me as feelings of warmth and safety flowed through me, of pure comfort. Vaguely, I realized I was held in the crook of my new catmom’s arm as she rocked me to sleep. Something struck me as off, but the feeling of her warmth, of hearing her heartbeat, did something to me, made me feel so utterly comfortable that soon my eyes closed. Sleep drew me into its waiting arms once more to a soothing beat.

…

Blacking out became routine for me. This was concerning.

The first time, I came out of it like I was awakening from the best nap ever and contentedly full. While I couldn’t see more than ten inches from my face, I could tell it was darker out and it had been some time. Catmom was nowhere to be seen, but she presumably had something else to do with her time. Granted, I had no idea what that might entail, given I knew nothing about this world beyond it had catgirls, but I digress.

I found, with some concentration, I could at least wiggle a bit. My body didn’t want to obey me so even that much was a hassle, but it did lead to one revelation: I had a tail.

I think I skipped right past the shocked phase to, “Well, what was I expecting?” I wished to be reincarnated into a world of catgirls. I’d thought I’d just drop in, but I’d trusted a fairy of all things to not pull anything. Given that, being a catboy was probably pretty minor, all things considered. That made me wonder if there were human — or any other races, for that matter — in this world. I supposed I’d find out eventually.

As it was, the tail would take some getting used to, especially as it was so wiggly. I couldn’t even see it properly given my inability to move or contort my body, but it seemed to have a mind of its own as it moved chaotically every time I so much as thought in its general direction.

I could have a tail like one of those — erasian? Erian? Something hairless cats which would not be my go-to, but it wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter. In the process of furiously wiggling out of a lack of ability to do anything else, I also discovered my new ears. It was a bit freaky feeling my ears move a little when I finally figured out how to focus on them. Learning to move them was strange. I’d heard of people who could move their ears a bit in my previous life, but this was nothing like that. They were already prone to moving without my conscious choice and it kept startling me while I tried to wiggle in a specific way. They were almost essentially another, overly responsive set of limbs.

I was also feeling uncomfortable with my lower body. I wiggled more to try and alleviate it.

My wiggling drew notice, as soon as the cat-lady — no, my catmom, appeared above me. Not being able to see more than ten inches in front of me was weird… and awful. Everything beyond that was a blur, so it was like a giant teleporting before me. Just as before, my eyes seemed to lock onto her of their own accord. Her nose twitched, and she muttered something unintelligible with a grimace. In the next few seconds, I was brought to a nearby surface, and I discovered yet another key downside to being an infant: no bladder control.

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I didn’t care if this was normal, and—

Wait.

Where the fuck was my penis?

…

One existential crisis later that barely subsumed the roaring embarrassment of the second most mortifying incident in my life (first being the time I accidentally played porn on a laptop in class), and I was certain I’d run into Mr. Muscles’ second round of fuckery. I’d expected my reincarnation to be, well, “Here you are in a new world, good luck!” Maybe if I was lucky, I’d start in some nice field somewhere with some unknown power to help me adjust to a new world. That clearly wasn’t the case.

I digress and am procrastinating yet again. Right, the point: I was not a catboy.

I was a catgirl; a baby catgirl.

This was my fate with good karma. Well, borderline good which didn’t account for much. Although now I wondered how much worse I’d be off if I’d had less, if it even mattered, or if Mr. Muscles just liked fucking with people.

I would have tried to compartmentalize it, move on, maybe think back on it later during a quiet night, but I was literally a baby that could wiggle a bit. All I could do was think.

It was obvious, in retrospect. He’d even tipped me off, saying, “You really should work on your wording. Maybe next time, eh?”

…

I’d never had a huge amount of pride in being a guy. It was just a part of who I was and something I’d taken as a norm, yet that had clearly changed. Prior, it just was an assumed thing, a part of me just like my hair or eye color. I’d rolled with it all my life. Would I have gender dysphoria now? I suppose I could just be dead and that was the end of it, but man, that would suck.

Still, I had been given another chance to live. I was just going to have to adjust to the changes and hope catgirls grew up fast. I really didn’t want to stay a baby for long.

~~~

Days passed, or so I assumed.

I wasn’t certain as I couldn’t exactly see a window from my crib and the only light change was the woman turning the lights on and off. To get some idea of time, I’d tried counting sleep cycles, but that had quickly failed.  I’d only gotten as high as nine before I lost count.

Two obstacles factored into my failure to perform basic grade school mathematics. Firstly, I got tired very easily. This was worse than it sounded. In my previous life at university, late night gaming and cramming went hand in hand to maintain some semblance of sanity and pass courses, respectively. Yet it was worse here. At some point exhaustion from laying down all day would get to me, and I’d fall asleep nigh instantly, far easier than I can ever remember in my old life. I could only assume it was biologically enforced nap time. Regardless, it made keeping count a pain.

Second, and a cause of greater concern, I kept blacking out. I didn’t know why, but there were periods when I’d be lucid one moment and suddenly had been moved, lights changed, or other gaps in my memory appeared. I didn’t know why, but the end result was that time became nearly meaningless.

Consequently, I was doomed to never count to ten.

I heard a distant door open with a heavy clang. My ears twitched at the noise out of pure reflex. I certainly couldn’t consciously manage that yet.  I focused on that feeling and tried to replicate it. It took several tries as my ears didn’t want to listen, but I eventually managed a little ear wiggle.  I’d had them perk up before, but the muscles were unfamiliar, and I decided to take the win where I could.

Footsteps echoed into the room, something heavy was set down, and a familiar face popped into place above me once more. Her ears perked as she looked down at me with a little smile, and she reached down to pat my cheek.  The warmth of her hand was almost shocking to the touch. I jolted. This amused her.

She then flicked her hair and said something pretty-sounding. It was unfortunate it might as well have been gibberish to me.

I knew English, Spanish, and a bit of Japanese from my weeb days trying and failing to learn it through online tutorials. None of that knowledge helped me as I watched her form words. It sounded simple, but without a basis I didn’t know what it all could possibly mean. For all I knew she was informing me of her family’s greatest legacy but all it amounted to be a flapping of her lips and sounds. They were nice sounds, at least.

All of this would have been solved with a universal translator, but that was yet another thing Mr. Muscles had neglected to include in my reincarnation package.

Patting my ear which made my tail twitch excitedly, at which point the stimulation and pure feeling exploded and—

The room was dark again. My thoughts flowed like molasses, and it took a while to even realize I was awake and not dreaming. Eventually, I was able to think well enough to realize I’d blacked out again. This time, I suspected her touch had done it. I’d been fine as she talked, but the moment I felt her warmth my mind nearly blanked. It was nice to note, but it didn’t exactly tell me much.

The only thing from the encounter I could take was that I really needed a name for this woman who was probably my mom in this world rather than alternate calling her lady, cat lady, woman, and catmom. I settled on Catmom.

There was a curious gap in my interactions with her. This was definitely due to the blackouts, but so far, I only really could remember her looking down at me. Everything else was a blur or non-existent.

There was a lot I didn’t know. I didn’t know where I was, what society I was part of, or even who my family was in this world. Catmom was there, but I’d yet seen anyone else at all. Where was my father? Did I have a sister? Grandparents? What did my mom even do on a day-to-day basis? For all I knew she was a pop idol. Or she baked bread. Or fought secret agents in clandestine tournaments.

I couldn’t know. I didn’t even know if the skies would be familiar when I finally saw them again. I hoped they were still blue.

Sometime later, Catmom popped up again and spoke. At least, I thought it was speech, not baby talk, because there was more order to her words, but meaning was lost on me. I again wished Mr. Muscles had given me a universal translator, or Hell, I’d settle for a Babel fish slithering in my ear at this point.

She spoke at length, and I didn’t catch a word. I wondered what made her talk to an infant who couldn’t do more than stare at her, but she found something worthwhile in talking to me. Her tone was almost sad, but as she neared the end of her “conversation”, her words lifted with a soft smile, and she brought her face in closer.

A string of familiarity hit me as she uttered something. I didn’t quite catch it, but it had an “M” sound. She touched her chest over her heart and then moved softly pet my ears. Excitement and warmth bubbled up in me like a wave of sunshine and—

The room was dark again. I really wished I would stop blacking out. At least I felt well rested now. But, thinking about the interaction, I realized she was repeating a word, and it meant something to her; something warm.

This pattern repeated, over and over. Catmom would be out doing whatever she did during the day, then back, feed and care for me, and occasionally say words to me before she would do something and my brain scrambled. I still didn’t know anything she said as while the rhythm was becoming familiar, the actual words were unknown.

She did had a nice voice, though. So that was something

There was one word, however. It sounded like “matan”, but I think I was missing a syllable in there. She kept repeating it as she stood over my cradle, looking down at me fondly. It could be my name, but I doubted it. She’d made no gestures to me when saying it, and that conclusion felt right. I figured there was a 50/50 chance I was wrong, but I had to start somewhere.

The door opened. My ears twitched and vaguely perked while the rest of me sat like a potato and barely reacted. I was frustrated, but pushed that aside as Catmom made her appearance above my cradle

She spoke. Her tone sounded positive at first, but I picked up something else in there, a certain falseness to her tone. It reminded me of the way my father would get at the end of the month when money was running out or when he spoke of my old life’s mother.

Would a normal baby even pick up on that? She flicked her hair and drew some up behind her ear that would otherwise hang her face. I focused. I knew this pattern and tried to pick out the word she kept repeating.

“—ach...is mise do mháthair,” she finished, pressing her hand to her heart once more.

It clicked and I felt like a complete and total dumbass the whole time. It wasn’t referring to me. It was her. It was always her.

“Máthair”.

Mom.

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Chapter Two: Author’s Note:

Isekais often go way too smoothly. Now, transmigration/portal isekais are one thing—you at least show up in a new world capable of walking around, but I take further issue with the isekais who go the reincarnation route. Most of these stories intentionally skip over or downplay details of what life is actually like for someone with a loosely conscious, adult brain who cannot move, talk, or even control their bowels. One of the worst offenders was an isekai who had the MC become aware as a fetus months before birth. I don’t know about anyone else, but the idea of becoming conscious as an infant with so little ability to do anything sounds torturous to the point of sanity breaking.

Regarding the bits of non-English thrown in this chapter, I’m quite aware that they match up with another real world language. I did this as I am not even going to try to pretend to be a linguist to invent my own language. I find the act and complications resulting from assorted languages interesting, but I will not be going so far as to make my own original languages as, sadly, I am not quite Tolkien.

That said, if anyone is worried that they will become an omnipresent feature, then I will state no. I find languages fascinating, but I also know including lengthy bits of text in another language even with a translation can prove distracting. I intend to primarily utilize it when the MC has no idea what is being said or actively figuring things out, but if they know what is being said, then text will be normal.

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