Chapter 1

A Hero.

A human-shaped creature of pure absurdity—someone who rummages through people’s drawers and pots without permission, rushes west to “plant his seed” the moment he hears of a princess, then dashes east to “plant his seed” again when he learns a Demon Lord’s daughter has appeared.

His behavior is chaos incarnate. Whenever he has free time, he’s busy building his harem bigger. Honestly, he’s more sexually shameless than an orc.

His personality? Pure, unfiltered eros. He thinks about only two things—sex and combat. Getting hunted down for hitting on a mafia boss’s woman is practically part of his daily routine. By now, he’s probably fathered at least a hundred kids.

He’s awful with money, too. Never pays back what he borrows, and whenever he gets any, he blows it all on gambling. I don’t even want to think about how much I’ve lent him.

And to top it off, he can’t cook, can’t do laundry—hell, he can’t do anything except fight. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve wanted to kill this useless creature!

And yet, unwillingly, I’m the sage of the Hero’s party.
Other than the Hero himself—who can wield both magic and holy power while fighting with a sword—I’m technically the strongest class.

I was conducting research at the Arcane Academy when the Hero kidnapped me.
Let me repeat that: kidnapped me.
He said, “Gotta snag usable talent.”
May he rot in hell.

The rest of our party? Every single member is a woman.

The warrior, the priestess, the mage, even the merchant—all women handpicked for their looks.
And every single one of them is the Hero’s lover.

Let me emphasize that.
Every single one of them belongs to the Hero.

Apparently, he picks party members based on face and cup size rather than ability.

If only his damn dick would rot and fall off.
I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been cursing him in my head all the time.
Because about two days ago—it happened.

I didn’t see it myself, so this is just what I heard.
The Hero, as usual, tried to make a move on another woman. Same old story.

Serves him right if he’d just die already.

But apparently, the Hero said,
“I’m like a frigate drifting upon the waves. I can’t stay moored at any one port.”
Then why don’t you just sink and become a coral reef already?

And he said that to the woman he had just slept with.
No wonder she snapped.
Turns out she was a sorceress specializing in curses—and she put a “may it fall off” curse on him.

Go, curse! You can do it! Kill that Hero bastard!

“NP Barrier!”

But of course, the curse was blocked—by the Hero’s “bad status immunity barrier.”
If not for that, I’d have killed him myself ages ago.

But life’s unfair like that.
The gods actually gave this scumbag divine blessings.
The world’s broken.

Anyway, the curse bounced off and hit the caster instead.
Problem is—the sorceress was a woman. No male parts for the curse to remove.

So the curse went astray... and hit me, who happened to be sleeping in the next room.

Now, I’m a sage.
I’ve got decent curse resistance—though not as much as the Hero.
So I didn’t notice right away when it happened...

I never imagined it would turn out like this.

And then, this morning—

“IT’S GONE!!!”

I panicked.

When I woke up, my partner of sixteen years was gone.
Vanished.
And in its place... something feminine had appeared.

I—I’ve turned into a girl!!!

How did this even happen!?

I was freaking out—more than I ever have in my entire life.
Even more than that time the Hero and I were chased by the mafia—probably three times more!

In a frenzy, I tore through the trash can, desperately searching for my missing buddy.
I cried as I dug through every corner.

That’s when I heard a knock at the door.

“Hey, Sage. Lend me some cash—I wanna hit the brothel—WHAT THE HELL!?”

It was the Hero.

I’m doomed.
Completely doomed.
The last person I ever wanted to find out—just found out.

For a moment, I gave up on life.
But then I realized—I was wearing clothes.
So why the hell was he screaming ‘WHAT THE HELL!?’ at me?

“What’s with the weird yelling?”

I asked, trying to keep my tone flat.
He can’t find out.
If this idiot figures it out, there’s no telling what he’ll do.
Worst-case scenario, he sells me off to a slave trader as some rare ‘boy-girl hybrid.’

That cannot happen.
I need to stay calm.

But the Hero’s reaction wasn’t what I expected.

“I-It’s just... you look kinda rounder, that’s all...”

Was he calling me fat!?
Rude!

To be sure, I conjured a mirror with magic.
Looking into it, I didn’t seem that different.
My chest was still small, and my height hadn’t changed.
Maybe my figure was a little more delicate, but it was barely noticeable.

Thank the gods. Hardly any change.

“What are you talking about? Did you take some weird drug again?”

Yes. That’s the perfect excuse.
Just recently, this idiot had downed some “mysterious potion” out of curiosity, stripped naked, and run through town until the night guards caught him.

I’ll use that story.

“Oh, uh... must’ve been your imagination! Ahahahahaha!”

“Y-Yeah! Just my imagination!”

Perfect. Fooled him.
Mission complete.

Or so I thought—until I felt it.

Rustle, rustle.

For some reason, the Hero started rubbing my butt.

A chill ran down my arms.

Sexual harassment!?

I grabbed his wrist in a panic.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Since when are you into men?”

“I—I don’t know, it just happened!”

He looked genuinely confused, like even he couldn’t understand why he was groping me.

Crap!

He doesn’t consciously know I’ve turned into a woman—but his instincts, his damn instincts, can tell!

Are you an orc or what!?

“Why... why won’t my hand stop...”

The hand I was holding kept twitching.

“That’s it. I’m punching you.”

“W-Wait! It’s not like that! This isn’t about eros! I swear I’m not thinking maybe guys are fine too!”

Chastity in danger.
Time to resort to violence.

“Shut up! Fly away!!”

“Ebluragh!!”

My magically enhanced punch sent the Hero soaring into the sky.
At this rate, he should be back in about thirty minutes.

I need to find my—uh, fix this curse before then.

But how?

Even as a sage, I don’t know how to break some obscure regional curse like this.

...Wait. The priestess.

A priestess might be able to lift it!

And so, I decided to go see the priestess next door.

I checked both ways, making sure there weren’t any suspicious sounds coming from behind the door.

Just to be safe, I knocked.

“Coming! I’m here~♪”

The priestess’s cheerful voice chimed from inside.

Why so cautious, you ask?
Because the last thing I ever want is to walk in on the Hero and one of the girls in the middle of their “nightly activities.”

It’s mortifying.
Ahh… if only I could go back to the Academy and lose myself in research again.

“When I get my dick back, I’m going home to the Academy…”

Muttering that vow to myself, I opened the door.

“Hey, Miss Priestess… um, I…”

I fidgeted, trying to gather the courage to say, “Help me, I lost my dick!”

But then—

“KYAAAAAAAAAA!!! SO CUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!”

The priestess suddenly pounced on me.

“Oh my gosh, you’re adorable! That tiny waist! That smooth skin! Hey hey, let’s play dress-up together, okay? Come on, let’s get you undressed—strip, strip, strip~♪”

Apparently, the Hero wasn’t the only pervert in this party.
My chastity was in danger. Serious danger.

Because the priestess had slipped her hands under my shirt and was now groping my bare chest.

“H-Hey! I’m the Sage, you know!? Quit touching! Quit touching my chest, dammit!!”

“Huh? Sage-kun? Why are you a girl now? Wait… were you a crossdresser all along!?”

“You’re feeling me up before even figuring out who I am… unbelievable…”

What kind of beast is this woman?
Does this entire party consist of beasts!?

“I see now… Sage-kun turned into a girl because he wanted to roleplay as the little boy in a big-sister fantasy, huh~?”

There’s no reasoning with her.
Her brain’s completely rotten.

“That’s not it! I’m here because I need you to lift a curse!”

“…A curse? What are you talking about? Sage-kun, you’ve always been a girl…”

As she said that, she wiggled her fingers menacingly.

She’s going to assault me! I can feel it!

“Uh, right! I just remembered—I have somewhere to be! See you later!”

“You’re not getting away~♪”

Grab.

The priestess seized me by the collar.

“Waaah! Let me gooo!”

“Come on, let’s go together! To the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah!!!”

“STOP! Quit touching my chest! And keep your hands out of my panties!!”

Everything was chaos.
I came here for help, and I’m getting attacked instead.

Why are there only beasts in this party!?
At this rate, I’m going to be devoured—sexually!

The priestess started licking my neck.

“Gaaaaah! Let gooooo!”

“Hold it right there!!!”

A deep voice boomed through the room.
The Hero.

He’s back.

Fine—whatever. Even the Hero is better than this.
Just save me, please!

“H-Hero… help me…”

But when I turned toward him—
what I saw was the Hero’s massive, muscular frame… dressed in a maid outfit.

“…Excuse me?”

“Sage…”

“Uh, what?”

Even the priestess froze at the sight.

“I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you!!!”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING!?”

This idiot. What nonsense is coming out of his mouth now!?

“I’ve thought it ever since that day, one year ago…”

He started monologuing!?

“I thought to myself… ahh, this one’s kinda cute.”

You’re a damn freak…

“I always thought… if only you were a woman!!!”

“Do not come within ten meters of me.”

“That icy attitude I could never get from a woman… that’s what turns me on!!!”

“The Hero’s broken…”

“And then today… I realized something!
If the Sage won’t become a woman, then I just have to become a maid! So I changed classes!!!”

Some weird switch just flipped inside him!!!

“That’s right, Hero… I’ve thought the same thing too…”

Priestess!? You too!? What the hell are you even talking about!?

“I’ve always thought—if only the Sage were a girl!”

The priestess has broken toooooo!!!

I shoved her off as she tried to lick me again.

“Don’t come any closer! If you do, I’ll blow us all up!”

With tears in my eyes, I began chanting a self-destruct spell.

Stay away! Don’t touch me, you degenerates!!!

But my desperate resistance was in vain.

“Sage-chaaaan~ Let’s have some fun with big sis, okay?”

The warrior grabbed me from behind.

“Myaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

My right leg was seized.

“Hey, you’re hogging the Sage all to yourself!”

“MAAAAAGE!!!”

My left leg was grabbed too.

“Hahh… let’s journey together to the tax haven of pleasure!”

“MERCHANTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!”

I was surrounded.
Perverts on every side.

What should I do?
Blow myself up and take them all with me…?
Or just let them eat me alive…?

I seriously couldn’t decide.