Chapter 1: The Beginning

Gentlemen, I love web novels.

Gentlemen, I wholeheartedly love web novels.

Gentlemen, I adore web novels.

I like Naro (Narou), I like Ideal Land (Risoukyou), I like Hatena Antenna.

I like Har (Harun), I like Silvenia (Silvania), I like Nijifan.

I like Uramichi Umichi (Back Alley Side Road), I like SS Sokuhou (SS News Flash), I like the Imperial Intelligence Agency.

At home, on my way to work,

at my workplace, at school,

at the hospital, at the station,

in the car, on a plane,

at a restaurant, on a train.

I love web novels read in every single conceivable place on this Earth.

I love stories that begin anew with a "what if" scenario.

My heart leaps when a character who wasn't saved in the original work gets saved.

I love defeating anti-characters (trolls/haters).

When they scream, beg for mercy,

and the Original Protagonist (Ori-shu) mows them down with a DANZA I (Judgement), my chest feels completely clear.

I love it when the Cheat Original Protagonist tramples all over the original world.

I even feel touched seeing the panicked fans of the original repeatedly insulting the author who is already immersed in their own world.

Seeing the looseness of the world setting picked apart is simply irresistible.

It's the best when the crying author, along with the readers' pathetic interjections,

is forced to quit their SS stories one after another by the screaming verbal Schmeisser (machine gun).

I feel euphoria when I relentlessly anti-fan (troll) a pitiful author who, despite their immature SS, bravely continued their serialization, completely shattering their heart into a million pieces.

I love having the comment section wrecked by anti-fans.

The sight of the SS I frantically wrote being violated, my heart being defiled and killed, is very, very sad.

I love being crushed and annihilated by the world setting.

Being chased by believers and crawling on the ground like a bug is the ultimate humiliation.

Gentlemen, I desire SS novels that can be accepted by all people.

Gentlemen, you web authors who follow me,

What exactly do you desire?

Do you desire even more SS?

Do you desire merciless, shitty web novels?

Do you desire a storm-like novel that uses every ounce of iron, wind, thunder, and fire to burn to death every crow in the Three Thousand Worlds?

"SS!! SS!! SS!!"

Very well, then it shall be SS!

We are the clenched fist, ready to strike down with all our might right now.

But for us, who have endured for years in this dark abyss, mere SS, mere web novels, are no longer enough!

Web novels! Single-minded SS!

We are the incomplete ones who couldn't even become light novel authors. We are just ordinary Otaku.

But I believe that you are all veterans, each worth a thousand men.

Then, together, you and I shall become a gentlemanly army of one million and one soldiers.

Let us wake up the fools who have driven us into oblivion and are sound asleep.

Let's grab them by the hair, drag them down, make them open their computers, and make them remember.

We will make them remember the taste of fear.

We will make them remember our SS.

We will make them remember that in the gap between reality and the electronic world,

there are novels that their philosophies could never conceive.

We will make the world burn with Moe, with our nameless army of Otaku gentlemen drifting on the net.

"From the Senior Gentleman to all Gentlemen"

--- Initiate the situation, let's go, gentlemen!

"If only the situation were such that I could say something like that. How wonderful that would have been."

I sigh unintentionally by the window in the hallway where the morning sun shines in.

This action is just a perfectly normal movement, but I can't help but realize that the figure reflected in the window has undeniably changed.

Brownish hair tied up in twin tails.

A girl with a gloomy expression, but undeniably a cute face.

She is dressed in a blue ribbon tied around her neck and wearing a yellow sweater.

By all appearances, she was Satsuki Yumizuka, the unluckiest character next to Lancer-Aniki with his E-rank Luck, famous in the Type-Moon world.

"Haa..."

I still don't know how this happened.

In these possession/reincarnation stories, it's usually the default that a self-proclaimed KAMI (God) or someone similar plays a trick with a reincarnation truck.

Fortunately, there was no such development; I simply realized what had happened as my memories gradually returned.

My reaction when I fully remembered was not "Hyaa-ha!! It's possession!!"

"It's Sacchin (Satsuki), that's clearly a Death Flag. Thank you very much, really."

I held my head and agonized over it for a night, but I realized that I could simply refrain from going out when the original story starts to avoid the flag.

Since then, I have continued to hang out casually with Shiki Tohno, who has somehow been in the same class since middle school, up until today.

"Oh, you were here. Good morning, Yumizuka-san."

"Good morning, 'Ciel-senpai'."

I greet the 'senpai' with black hair and glasses.

There shouldn't have been any exchange students until now, but strangely, I feel no sense of incongruity.

When I first greeted 'Senpai,' I almost asked, "Why isn't your hair blue?"

Thinking about it carefully, I realized (belatedly) that blue or pink hair, let alone my own slightly brownish hair, was just a two-dimensional form of expression.

However, the greater problem is that the name 'Ciel' definitely signifies the start of the main story.

Recently, news of a "murder case where blood was drained from the body" has been reported, so I've been careful not to go out at night. It seems I'm succeeding in avoiding the Death Flag, just as my past life's memory predicted.

"Is Tohno-kun not here yet?"

"He'll probably be here soon. Shiki is always late."

"Is that so..."

In middle school, despite the physical difference between boys and girls, he often collapsed because his stamina was still low compared to high school.

Since I was the health committee chair at the time, I often carried him on my back and dumped him in the infirmary.

Because of that, the 'calling by first name' flag was established between us, but there is no romantic flag yet—in fact, there shouldn't be one.

Occasionally, I get a dokitto (a little flutter), but that shouldn't affect a TS (Gender-bent) type heroine like Nico-po... I hope.

"Looks like I came too early," Ciel-senpai says, peering out the window.

As she twists her body, her chest juts out and is emphasized.

I suppose it's unavoidable to stare, even as a woman.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing at all."

I almost asked, "What's your bust size?"

However, since she's French, is it expected that her chest would be large?

"More importantly, Shiki has arrived."

"Ah, that's right. Ciao."

She waves happily at her junior, whom she can't seem to leave alone.

Shiki, looking puzzled, lightly waves back as a greeting.

"Well, Senpai. I'll take my leave now."

"Take care. Let's meet again at lunch."

"Yes!"

I lightly bow, making a promise to meet again at lunchtime, and head towards the classroom.

Today, too, it was decided that the four of us, including Arihiko and Shiki, would eat together in the cafeteria, as usual.

Even though I know these are memories that shouldn't exist but were planted, I rushed to the classroom, reflecting on how truly strange this was.

"Up to this point, it's according to the original story."

Time skips, and I mutter this to myself while walking through the streets in the twilight.

A little while after that, Shiki collapsed from anemia in the classroom and left school early.

If it were strictly according to the original, he would have sliced Arcueid into 17 pieces at Misaki Nature Park.

However, it's already late in the day, so he's probably either been retrieved by the Tohno mansion or is still unconscious in the park.

"A gentleman avoids danger. I've finished my shopping, so I'll head home quickly."

I hurry along the way home, shaking my shopping bag.

The park I used to visit as a child is nearby, and while I am certainly intrigued, I ignore it.

It's a privilege of a Possessor to intervene here, but unfortunately, I have no intention of doing so.

To be honest, I'm a chicken, and I don't have the courage to pick a chestnut out of the fire, so please forgive me.

Huh?

"Kya!!"

"Ouch!"

I bumped into someone because I was deep in thought.

I was fine, but the other person fell spectacularly and screamed.

I hit my head pretty hard... I hope she's okay.

"Ah, I-I'm sorry..."

The words 'solatium' and 'compensation' were spinning around in my head, but I tried to say "I'm sorry" first, only to be left speechless before I could finish.

Golden-like hair.

Even though she was unconscious and her eyes were half-closed, it was clear: deep crimson eyes, the mark of a non-human.

And her appearance. Even though I wasn't looking at her from the front, I could tell she was an ideal beauty, a person who was complete and perfect in her entire existence, "human but not human."

Arcueid Brunestud was there.

Why... No, I should have known since she came from the front.

I immediately fell into a panic over this unexpected event.

I'd been wondering about it before, but had she unconsciously been using some kind of perception-blocking spell?

If I looked closely at my surroundings, despite her being beautiful enough to make ten out of ten people turn their heads, the people around me didn't seem to notice our existence at all.

Furthermore, she seemed very weakened from being sliced by Shiki, and she wasn't reacting at all.

I can't just leave her... can I?

"Why me?"

I suddenly uttered the catchphrase of a certain housewife.

I can't take her to the police box because there isn't one visible, so for now, I guess I should take her to the park. The house is certainly too far away.

"Alright,"

She was still completely limp, but I slung her over my shoulder and dragged her along.

Carrying her along with my shopping bags was possible but somewhat strenuous.

But there was one benefit:

They're huge. As expected of (size) 88 breasts.

I changed how I carried her sometimes to shift the center of gravity, and during those times, I was able to fully enjoy her chest armor.

I wasn't directly touching her with my hand, but I'll secretly enjoy it for now, even though we're the same gender.

Besides, I think I deserve this much of a reward, especially for my sake.

"Mmm, where is this?"

"Um, are you awake?"

About ten minutes later, the princess I had laid down on a bench finally woke up.

I, on the other hand, was internally nervous, waiting beside her as the scenery grew darker, but honestly, I'm relieved she woke up faster than expected.

I had been thinking that every cat and crow that came near might be a familiar of the Professor, and I should run away immediately, but I dutifully waited for her to wake up, leading to this moment.

"I'm sorry, I was a little spacey, so I bumped into you."

"Huh? Ah, that thing. It's fine, it's fine. I was spacing out a bit too."

She laughed airily.

When a breathtaking beauty like her speaks so friendly, it makes my soul fly away in various ways.

Even as the same gender, I almost felt dizzy.

"I'm feeling a little unwell because I was torn into pieces."

"Hah..."

She casually mentioned a disturbing thing, "torn into pieces," but I ignored it. Ignore.

"But you be careful too, things have been dangerous recently."

"No, I don't have the factors to be torn into pieces like you do."

"That's true."

I felt the desire to continue the conversation, but looking at the time, it was already past six.

Going out at night is a Death Flag for me, so I decided to hurry home.

"I'm sorry, I have to go home now."

"Oh, okay. It's dangerous for ordinary people, so you should go home quickly."

She replied with a smile, but she was pressing her side as if the wounds inflicted by Shiki were hurting.

Also, as it got darker, her crimson eyes glowed like an animal's, which was a little scary.

"Bye-bye~"

Even so, she made the effort to wave her hand and send me off.

Even though I knew, somehow it was hard to believe that that was a vampire.

However, depending on future developments, I probably won't be able to meet her again.

And I might forget this precious encounter someday.

But...

"It would be interesting if we could meet again."

Just as I was able to become friends with Shiki Tohno, not as an 'Original Character' but as 'someone living in this world.'

How wonderful would it be if the day came when I could talk to her again?

Thinking that, I looked back at the park that was already growing dark and uttered my honest thought.